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- Nov 15, 2014
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Hi all,
I have read all of the articles and even watched a video by Jackson Galaxy on introducing new cats, but I keep hearing how it is easier with introducing a kitten into the house. My mother recently has gotten older and is having memory issues, so we have adopted her adult male cat (about 8 years old). I have 3 cats, siblings, 5 years old, that I trapped and brought in as babies when their mom dropped them off in my back yard after she weaned them. As per all of the articles, we have put the new cat in my daughter's room as his safe place, and he has been there about 4 days. At first, my cats were pretty good about it, only going to that door a few times. We even have boxes in front for the time being to keep them from peeking under the door, since that space is larger because there used to be carpet over the hardwood and all of the doors have a larger space under them.
Anyway, my mom's cat is trying to adapt, and he greets you when you come in and rubs your legs. I am not sure he remembers us from visiting mom and being in her room frequently or not. He did not eat for 12 hours, but now, he does eat (was free fed dry only at mom's and I have left it that way for now, though I do not free feed my cats and they eat 85% wet). However, he only eats when he is alone for a while. Now that he will let us pet him, one of my cats is starting to show signs of stress. He is being more aggressive toward his sister (who he loves and snuggles with all the time) and also to my husband at times. Tonight, he tried to get in his lap when my husband was working on the laptop. Hubby pet him and then picked him up to move him, and he clawed my husband's arm. Tigger is a sweet cat, very affectionate, and lets us pick him up all the time. Hubby is already threatening to get rid of the new cat and saying he won't tolerate it doing this to our cat.
The new cat is a bit unpredictable right now as well. Rubbing you and then going and hiding under the desk and huffing. He meowed a protest when I picked him up today, something I used to do at Mom's all the time. He threw up (likely from gobbling food when he was alone), and when I tried to clean it up, he swatted at me. I verbally fussed, but I hesitated to be too upset, since I know he is under stress. However, I don't want him to sense fear in me either.
We adopted my mother-in-law's adult female cat after the death of my mother-in-law, and it was months before we let the two dogs see her. They eventually coexisted. She passed away from renal failure and hyperthyroid over a year ago. I adopted my 3 cats when she was still alive, and for the most part, they lived together okay with the occasional slap as they walked by each other. We do not have any dogs now, so at least we don't have that to complicate things, and my cats are the only pets.
Because these are all adult cats, I am sort of envisioning the cat living in my daughter's room for many months. The cat will likely be fine with that, as he lived in my mom's room the 7 years he was there, since she has always had a dog that she feared would not get along with him. However, since the new cat is acting unpredictably, letting me pet him and playing and then suddenly hiding under the bed or desk and huffing (and is fully aware of my cats outside the door and watching with the tail twitching at times), I worry that my daughter will come home from college at Thanksgiving and not feel comfortable sleeping in that room with him. Then she will come back home at Christmas break, and honestly, I don't want her to feel kicked out of her own room. I have even said I could give the cat our room, but I would likely sleep on the couch, since my cats sleep with me, and I don't want them to flake out over me being in there without them if the new cat would even share the room happily with me.
Right now, we are making it a habit to visit him. My adult son is in college but lives at home and commutes, and then my husband and I live here. I work from home but work 7 days a week and work some crazy hours, but at least, I am able to go check on him and talk to him and make sure he has food and water. He is sleeping on the bed, and there is a cat window shelf in there for him, which he is using. He seems fine with any of us coming in for a while, but then, he suddenly acts afraid or insecure.
I just need some encouragement that maybe my cat (who is the first of my 3 who was affectionate and loving, so he has a special bond with my husband and me) won't act wigged out forever if that cat stays in the bedroom for months and that this is not a sign that they will never be able to live together necessarily (though I know that is a possibility).
Per the information I have read, we plan to take this whole process slowly, especially with the holidays and all. I may get separate socks and move those from place to place. I am not even sure how soon I will try to lock up my cats and let the new cat have free time in he rest of the house, especially if my cat is going to start feeling threatened and continue his aggression. My cats have some sibling rivalry about who gets the best spot in the sun or who gets to sleep closer to me, but for the most part, they work it out without any scratches.
Any words of encouragement from people who have had success incorporating an adult male into a house with other adults? If I delay the process and just let him stay in the bedroom until the first of the year, will that hurt the possibility of him ever being able to share the house with my cats in peace or help it? When will the new cat start to show signs that he has accepted his new place? I have been wondering how long it takes a cat to forget their old environment and finally call this home. I understand he is adjusting. We have a different schedule here, and I am sure our house is louder with TVs in several rooms going at the same time and people on different work/school schedules. I just don't want my husband to give up on things after a week, when I know that is not realistic. However, he does not want our daughter to feel like a stranger in her own room if the cat does not act appropriately while she is home for Thanksgiving. I keep going in there and sitting on the bed and stuff. This last year, my mom has spent more and more time in the room with him, so he is used to sharing, but Mom had a double bed, so he had the option of being on the other side or being with her. My daughter has a twin, so the space is smaller. I don't want him to think he owns the bed and maybe be aggressive towards her when she comes home. Hubby said he was thinking of trying to sleep in there. If he tried that, how soon would be a good idea? If the cat gets protective of the bed and room, Hubby may be ready to stop the process and take the cat to the shelter or something right now. After all, my daughter should feel she still has a bed to sleep in when she comes home. She actually comes home on weekends sometimes, but she is busy until Thanksgiving with stuff at school and likely won't come home until then for the first time since the cat has arrived.
I welcome any advice or hopeful words.
I just wanted to add that I am really sorry about this post being so lengthy. I guess I am a little stressed about doing the right thing by the cat and by my mom who is trusting me with her cat. Maybe people will skim it and have some good experiences to share
I have read all of the articles and even watched a video by Jackson Galaxy on introducing new cats, but I keep hearing how it is easier with introducing a kitten into the house. My mother recently has gotten older and is having memory issues, so we have adopted her adult male cat (about 8 years old). I have 3 cats, siblings, 5 years old, that I trapped and brought in as babies when their mom dropped them off in my back yard after she weaned them. As per all of the articles, we have put the new cat in my daughter's room as his safe place, and he has been there about 4 days. At first, my cats were pretty good about it, only going to that door a few times. We even have boxes in front for the time being to keep them from peeking under the door, since that space is larger because there used to be carpet over the hardwood and all of the doors have a larger space under them.
Anyway, my mom's cat is trying to adapt, and he greets you when you come in and rubs your legs. I am not sure he remembers us from visiting mom and being in her room frequently or not. He did not eat for 12 hours, but now, he does eat (was free fed dry only at mom's and I have left it that way for now, though I do not free feed my cats and they eat 85% wet). However, he only eats when he is alone for a while. Now that he will let us pet him, one of my cats is starting to show signs of stress. He is being more aggressive toward his sister (who he loves and snuggles with all the time) and also to my husband at times. Tonight, he tried to get in his lap when my husband was working on the laptop. Hubby pet him and then picked him up to move him, and he clawed my husband's arm. Tigger is a sweet cat, very affectionate, and lets us pick him up all the time. Hubby is already threatening to get rid of the new cat and saying he won't tolerate it doing this to our cat.
The new cat is a bit unpredictable right now as well. Rubbing you and then going and hiding under the desk and huffing. He meowed a protest when I picked him up today, something I used to do at Mom's all the time. He threw up (likely from gobbling food when he was alone), and when I tried to clean it up, he swatted at me. I verbally fussed, but I hesitated to be too upset, since I know he is under stress. However, I don't want him to sense fear in me either.
We adopted my mother-in-law's adult female cat after the death of my mother-in-law, and it was months before we let the two dogs see her. They eventually coexisted. She passed away from renal failure and hyperthyroid over a year ago. I adopted my 3 cats when she was still alive, and for the most part, they lived together okay with the occasional slap as they walked by each other. We do not have any dogs now, so at least we don't have that to complicate things, and my cats are the only pets.
Because these are all adult cats, I am sort of envisioning the cat living in my daughter's room for many months. The cat will likely be fine with that, as he lived in my mom's room the 7 years he was there, since she has always had a dog that she feared would not get along with him. However, since the new cat is acting unpredictably, letting me pet him and playing and then suddenly hiding under the bed or desk and huffing (and is fully aware of my cats outside the door and watching with the tail twitching at times), I worry that my daughter will come home from college at Thanksgiving and not feel comfortable sleeping in that room with him. Then she will come back home at Christmas break, and honestly, I don't want her to feel kicked out of her own room. I have even said I could give the cat our room, but I would likely sleep on the couch, since my cats sleep with me, and I don't want them to flake out over me being in there without them if the new cat would even share the room happily with me.
Right now, we are making it a habit to visit him. My adult son is in college but lives at home and commutes, and then my husband and I live here. I work from home but work 7 days a week and work some crazy hours, but at least, I am able to go check on him and talk to him and make sure he has food and water. He is sleeping on the bed, and there is a cat window shelf in there for him, which he is using. He seems fine with any of us coming in for a while, but then, he suddenly acts afraid or insecure.
I just need some encouragement that maybe my cat (who is the first of my 3 who was affectionate and loving, so he has a special bond with my husband and me) won't act wigged out forever if that cat stays in the bedroom for months and that this is not a sign that they will never be able to live together necessarily (though I know that is a possibility).
Per the information I have read, we plan to take this whole process slowly, especially with the holidays and all. I may get separate socks and move those from place to place. I am not even sure how soon I will try to lock up my cats and let the new cat have free time in he rest of the house, especially if my cat is going to start feeling threatened and continue his aggression. My cats have some sibling rivalry about who gets the best spot in the sun or who gets to sleep closer to me, but for the most part, they work it out without any scratches.
Any words of encouragement from people who have had success incorporating an adult male into a house with other adults? If I delay the process and just let him stay in the bedroom until the first of the year, will that hurt the possibility of him ever being able to share the house with my cats in peace or help it? When will the new cat start to show signs that he has accepted his new place? I have been wondering how long it takes a cat to forget their old environment and finally call this home. I understand he is adjusting. We have a different schedule here, and I am sure our house is louder with TVs in several rooms going at the same time and people on different work/school schedules. I just don't want my husband to give up on things after a week, when I know that is not realistic. However, he does not want our daughter to feel like a stranger in her own room if the cat does not act appropriately while she is home for Thanksgiving. I keep going in there and sitting on the bed and stuff. This last year, my mom has spent more and more time in the room with him, so he is used to sharing, but Mom had a double bed, so he had the option of being on the other side or being with her. My daughter has a twin, so the space is smaller. I don't want him to think he owns the bed and maybe be aggressive towards her when she comes home. Hubby said he was thinking of trying to sleep in there. If he tried that, how soon would be a good idea? If the cat gets protective of the bed and room, Hubby may be ready to stop the process and take the cat to the shelter or something right now. After all, my daughter should feel she still has a bed to sleep in when she comes home. She actually comes home on weekends sometimes, but she is busy until Thanksgiving with stuff at school and likely won't come home until then for the first time since the cat has arrived.
I welcome any advice or hopeful words.
I just wanted to add that I am really sorry about this post being so lengthy. I guess I am a little stressed about doing the right thing by the cat and by my mom who is trusting me with her cat. Maybe people will skim it and have some good experiences to share
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