Adopted cat showing signs of adjusting but then...

christenkae21 · Jun 24, 2021

Hi everyone, so I adopted a cat from a foster 5 days ago (I know, it's only been a short time but I want to make sure I do everything right). She is a little over a year old and she had been with the foster for about 10 months prior. The first meeting with her, the foster brought her over to my house into what is now the safe room in a carrier. She had to pull her out of the carrier, but the cat was so comfortable with the foster- she held her in her arms most of the time and she was quiet and calm and happy. She set her down and she started backing into corners but would let my live-in boyfriend and I pet her, she even purred a bit. I knew she was a little shy but according to the foster "she is friendly, I swear. She lets me hold her, falls asleep in my arms, she loved this-and-this toy- she just needs to get to know you".

Well I adopted her, the foster left, and when kitty realized she wasn't coming back, she started hiding which obviously is normal. On the first day I pretty much left her alone besides filling her food, but my boyfriend who has no self control around cute cats (lol) picked her up and cuddled her- she was actually calm and let him hold her for about 30 seconds before she jumped away. I'm worried that this ruined her trust for us. We haven't tried this since.

The first couple of days, she would only eat and use the litter box when I wasn't in the room. I left her alone again mostly. The safe room is my work-from-home office, so I sat in there working quietly all day and she eventually started eating, using the litter box, and eating treats with me in the room as long as I didn't look at her. If I look at her she'd run and hide in the basket I gave her or under a blanket. She'd hiss if I got too close. Another day later, she will eat treats near me and everything, even if I look at her sometimes. No hissing for 2 whole days. Progress! Last night and this morning, I got down on the floor and slowly extended my arm hoping to let her sniff but both times she hissed when I got a foot or two close to her.

I set up a camera in my office and I know she comfortably roams around the room at night / when I'm not in the room for an extended amount of time. She continues to eat, drink, use the litter box regularly. Her favorite place to perch is on the window sill but will hide as soon as I enter the room. I have the Feliway diffuser and I have a cat tree coming in next week. She has zero interest in cat nip or toys. Is there anything else I can do/is there anything I'm doing wrong? Do you think she was feral/semi feral before the foster had her? Thank you in advance for reading my long post.

christenkae21 · Jun 24, 2021

In addition, is there any reason to take her to the vet if I know she's up to date on vaccines and showing no obvious signs of being unhealthy? I've heard you're supposed to take a new cat to the vet within the first week, but I don't want to make her uncomfortable by bringing her there.

ArtNJ · Jun 24, 2021

If you trust the foster person, ask about shots. I agree that it would be better to wait on those until the cat is comfortable and well bonded. If the cat is up to date nothing might be due right away anyway. Going to the vet with a new pet right away is mostly if you adopt off the street or don't trust the records of whoever you adopted from.

Progress and methodology sounds fine. I agree with you to let the cat set the pace and not forcibly pick up or hold, but your husband being grabby once wouldn't be a long term problem.

FeebysOwner · Jun 24, 2021

Hi. I agree with the above! And, what a good set up - with you being in that room a lot!! If you can, try talking to her (or, singing if you - unlike me - can carry a tune) while you work. Just another thing about you that she can get used to.

susanm9006 · Jun 24, 2021

Progression from distrust to trust isn’t a straight linear path. A cat can take a step forward, get spooked by the tiniest thing and quickly revert back. But as long as you dont push interaction progress will be made at whatever pace the cat needs. It would be good to rein in the husband and explain that picking up the cat, even if they don’t scream and fight, isn’t helping build the relationship right now. He can try sitting or laying on the floor and talking to the cat, playing with one of the cat’s toys or offering a treat. If the cat approaches he can slowly offer a hand to sniff and then slowly move in to touching if the cat seems interested.