Adopted 8 Year Old Cat, Unsure How to Proceed

[Friend2Feline]

Hello! I have recently adopted an 8 year old Ragdoll mix cat from a local shelter about 4 weeks ago. I have been taking it slow but I have seen no progress other than seeing him in new hiding places. He can tolerate getting pet but I do not pet him because I think it stresses him out. One of those hiding places was in the fireplace where I thought I had blocked off enough so that he couldn’t get in. His paws and belly were covered in soot. I tried to rinse off the soot but I couldn’t get far before he urinated in the tub and I felt like I was making things worse. He was hissing and growling the entire time. I am not sure what to do anymore. The shelter has given me no answer as to if he was a stray or not so I don’t know any basis for his behavior. I feel helpless and I feel like with every little thing I do, I’m just making it worse.

Before the bath fiasco happened, he was just a little wallflower kitty. Hiding and only coming out to eat, drink, use the litter box, and explore during the night. Even when I sat in the room with my back to him, quietly reading, he would not approach me. Now, I’m afraid he won’t come out at all. I’m very sorry if this is all over the place, I don’t know who to go to/what to do or anything.

Is there anything I could do to help him? Am I doing something wrong? And if I am, how can I fix it? :–((

I’m new to this site and this is my first reply so if it comes out bad I’m sorry.
But I read your issue and to me I’d just let him be. Make sure he has safe warm cozy spots and food. Pretty much all he needs and maybe he will warm up more and maybe he just won’t. I have two cats sisters from the same litter and one is so friendly the other just isn’t she is more skittish. They are four years old and raised exactly the same. I just let her be. I feel like that’s just the personality for some or maybe some pasty trauma either way I’m really happy you were willing to give him a home and he is very cute

 

[pearl99]

Ohhh, okay. Sometimes I’ll look to see if he’s looking at me or if he’s interested. It’ll definitely be difficult to ignore him but I can find a nice activity to keep myself distracted! A puzzle sounds like a great one too. Thank you very much :–D

And if/when he approaches you still ignore him. No looking. I did that with Waffles. He would creep up, sniff, retreat. Creep, sniff, retreat. If I moved a muscle he'd scram.
At his pace. Eventually Waffles accepted hand pets. It took 2 months for him to jump up on my lap and then he only stayed for 2 seconds. Baby steps.
And yes some cats are not too affectionate. It's too soon to tell, especially not knowing his history. But he has a loving home and that makes him happy.

 

[Momma2kitties]

Having rescued and fostered a great many kitties, I can suggest a few things that might help. It sounds like this poor little guy has been through some stuff, trauma to of some type. Hemp oil for pets, available at Amazon, it's called ' hemp for pets' can be helpful in getting a cat to relax annd calm his stress. Use the max dosage on the directions. Mix in wet food. It may take a few days of regular use to start seeing improvement. Also a feliway plug in diffuser in the room he spends most time in, also available at Amazon. This emits pheromones which have a calming and soothing effect on stressed and anxious kitties. It's veteranarian recommended. Your nearest vet probably has these available to pick up without having to wait for delivery. Lastly, Rescue Remedy is another natural product that can help caallm stressed, anxious or fearful kitties. If you can try them all that's perfect, all simultaneously. If not, take in the order I've listed.

 

[Momma2kitties]

Further to my comment above, rescue remedy is also available from Amazon or many health food stores. Take it slow with this guy and understand that it may take some time. But when you hit that breakthrough moment where you realize he's starting to trust and starting to feel safe, it will feel so rewarding. Sadly, there are so many cats that have experienced trauma and sadly they can't tell us what theyve been through. Try not to feel disappointed - there can be great richness in caring for a cat like this. But sometimes it's not til much later in your journey together that you will come to discover that. He needs you, and I have come to understand that we can learn and grow in so many important ways when caring for a cat like this. Also, I should have also mentioned that play can be very therapeutic and can often help bring a cat like this out of his she'll. Again it may be a process, so be patient and give it time. Laser dot is a good way to engage a cat,. Or a feather on a string. It can provide an opportunity to bond. Also get some catnip to see if it relaxes him. Every little guy with these issues is different, it's a matter or trying different things to see what works. One thing I learned a long time ago is that if in the end no progress is made, the lesson for us is acceptance. Be willing in the end to accept him for who he is if that's how it goes. Animals are our teachers. Often a particular animal cc ones into our life because there is something deeply valuable that we can learn from them and in to he process grow more deeply as human beings. I learned this years ago when I adopted a cat who just didn't have the personality I was hoping for. Ihad so much resistance in my relationship with that cat (on my end) because he wasn't a match for what I thought I wanted.( He had experienced something traumatic at 6 weeks, before ending up at the shelter, and that definitely affected him and made him a bit of a challenge for me). I was so focused on how he didn't fit the image I had of what I wanted in a cat, that I failed to discover what a really great cat he was and how much there was to appreciate in Hime until I finally realized I needed to release those expectations and embrace him for who he was.. Sadly, it want long after that that he died of colon cancer at only 5 years old (igot him at 6 months). I realized after he was gone that he came into my life to teach me some very important lessons about compassion and acceptance. I miss him to this day, 10 years later. I had only finally come to fully appreciate Hime for who he was and stop wishing he were different, and then not long after he was gone.

 

[frocky the cats]

I think you need to give him some ti e to get used to you and your home. Maybe give him a blanket that you have used to get him used to your scent.