Adopted 6 mos old from hoarder

[nurseday07]

Hello, we have adopted a beautiful 6 month(?) old cat from a hoarding situation. Unfortunately a day after she came home she went in to heat. She generally runs from us and hides, only allowing brief petting if we sat on the floor and held our hand out slowly. I have two other cats, male and female, both have been neutered/spayed, and she was very affectionate to our boy cat (of course). She was with us for a week before we took her to be spayed (today) and I’m worried that she will never come to trust us. She wasn’t fully trusting us or social with us prior to this traumatic experience and I’m concerned she never will get comfortable with us now. Anyone have any experience with this? Words of wisdom or encouragement is greatly appreciated!

 

[Furballsmom]

She's beautiful
She will come around, it will just take time.

There's no need to rush, you have her now, safe and sound. If you go about your days as you would similar to before she arrived, which is to say give her emotional space, don't focus much on her and don't look at her directly (it can seem aggressive to cats), she'll have the chance to wrap her mind around her new normal and come to realize you're the givers of good things

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi! She will come around over time, I am sure! She is young (I guess at 6 mos?) and just needs some time to adjust and adapt. From that picture, she looks pretty 'adjusted' already - and, she is so pretty!!!! Let her have some hiding spots (safe zones) as you work with her. See if you can use tips from these TCS articles to help you in acclimating her to her new forever home! And, ask all the questions you want - we want to help you!!
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide
Bringing Home A New Cat – The Complete Guide

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Time, time and more time! And a LOT of patience. What you are dealing with is almost an indoor feral, that is, she received little to no socialization. I'm going to ask Jcatbird to chime in here, as she knows a LOT about working with feral cats, and how to get them to trust you!

 

[Jcatbird]

Can you put her in your bedroom or a small bathroom when she returns? I find that sleeping in the room gives them a chance to investigate you when you are “dormant”, lol, not a threat or scary to them. You may find she joins you there. A place where you can keep tabs on her is important after a Spay.
Food is the greatest lure. Lying on your back , still, with warm, Gerber 2nd foods all meat baby food on a plate on your legs, tummy can bring her near. Even a little on a finger can get a lick. Put a shirt or towel/blanket with your scent on it where she can lay on it, this can hel her adjust to you.
When recovering from Spay surgery she should be kept from running and jumping at first so you may need to start all this in a small bathroom or crate but no chasing toys/ jumping if it can be avoided until healed. If she wants to hide in a carrier in an open closet in your bedroom, that’s okay too but she needs to be where you can keep an eye on her healing process. Peace and quiet at first. I’m sorry I am in a rush tonight but I’ll come back. Try not to worry, she just needs love, shelter, care and time. She’s already getting your love so she’s making progress. Don’t stare at her, let her make progress at her own pace and try not to get discouraged if she doesn’t respond right away. She’ll learn. I find that the kitties I rescue really appreciate having a safe and loving home. They don’t have to be on guard anymore and become very content and happy. Best friends for life!
Oh yeah. Try to let her know when you are coming into a room . If noises bother her, some kitties adapt better by having some soft music or low volume TV going. It helps them learn that noise is not a threat. Music can calm. There is music online made especially for cats.
Bravo to you for taking this beauty! I love, love the picture! Kitty guardians are kitty heros!

 

[Jcatbird]

Just checking in with you.

 

[nurseday07]

Hello, Harper had surgery Monday and is doing well. We keep her in the guest bathroom so we can keep an eye on her healing process, but we also have a bonus of spending time with her in a small safe place. She is really warming up to us, purring and rubbing on us. I feel like when she is all healed and “free” from the one room, she will be a more trusting and potentially social, member of our family. Thank you for checking in with us!

 

[Furballsmom]

She is really warming up to us, purring and rubbing on us.

This is fabulous news - thank you for the update!

 

[Jcatbird]

I’m so glad Harper is doing wel and back home! Purring and rubbing on you? Wonderful! She is very glad to be back with you. She knows where she is safe and loved. I think you’ve got this! All is progressing extremely well.

 

[nurseday07]

HELP! We let her out of the “safe room” yesterday because I felt so sorry for her. For 3 days we had wonderful interactions with her, she was warm and loving. As soon as she was let out she ran to the basement and she’s been hiding from us ever since! When I found her in a closet and tried to just pet her, she hissed and sunk deeper in the closet. I am so confused as to how she could be so friendly and accepting for 3 days and then reverts right back to scared and avoiding us. What do I do?!?! I really think we have a big problem on our hands and I don’t know how to help her.

 

[Furballsmom]

She's frightened.

Be very calm. Put some food down near to her, and sit on the floor a little ways away. Do not look at her directly, this can seem aggressive to a scared cat. Talk to her in the sweetest voice now and then, and just be there.

Otherwise, you could just ignore her, literally, and wait until she comes out, which she will eventually.

 

[fionasmom]

This happens when the cat leaves the smaller confined room, no fault of your own. I have friends who rescued a cat years ago from a miserable situation and the bathroom is the "designated" room where they cat accepts affection and physical interaction probably from some long ago memory. Just start over and do what you did before, minus putting her in the bathroom. Ignoring her is not a bad idea either because it will make her believe that she is not the object of some hunt and she will probably integrate herself into your family with time.

 

[nurseday07]

If we leave her be, will it make her more antisocial? I’m willing to try and let her do her thing, but I want her to know we are her family and love her, I feel horrible she is hiding in a dusty damp basement.

 

[Furballsmom]

If we leave her be, will it make her more antisocial?

I don't believe so.

Go in now and then with food and treats, sit on the floor nearby and read to her on occasion so that she associates you with good things. Leave a shirt or some worn unwashed socks near to her, that will help her continue to become comfortable with you

 

[nurseday07]

Thanks everyone for you help and support! We love this kitty to pieces and want nothing but the best for her!

 

[Furballsmom]

Go in now and then with food

I should clarify this part of my thinking - I'd assumed you have food, water and a litterbox in the basement for her since she seems a bit "dug in for the duration", but whether you are free feeding or picking the food plate/dish up after a while, I realized I don't know lol.

So, to be more clear, it might be better if you don't free feed and only feed scheduled meals to help enforce that you provide good things.

Something else you could try is some cat music now and then. There's Spotify, Youtube, RelaxMyCat and MusicForCats as sources you could consider

 

[nurseday07]

She comes upstairs for food and water (we have it out around the clock for my other two fur babies. She’s been witnessed frequently throughout the day feeding and drinking...but she runs if we go in to that room while she is there.

 

[Furballsmom]

but she runs if we go in to that room while she is there.

You'll want to wait her out then until her confidence grows enough to the point that she approaches you, which is what needs to happen. If you try to force her it will only scare her further. Be patient with her, and you have time. She's with you, safe, secure, and eating which is a huge thing

There might be something in these... I don't think she's a shy cat by nature according to her behavior previously, but right at the moment she is;
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat

16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats

 

[Jcatbird]

These things happen pretty often. She felt very secure in that room but the big wide world of an entire house is much different. There is action to try. How did you get her the first time when you had to take her to be spayed? You can repeat that. Can work but likely to take a little while. Put something with your scent on it near her.
You can provide her with a safe place in the room where she eats too. Put crates, carriers or any cubby type places you can manage on the floor but also try and give her places to get a little off the floor. Lots of hiding places with comfy blankets and things with your scent. Make it seem a secure pace to hide.
I would spend lots of time where she is too. I got complete ferals outside to come to me by just laying on the ground with them. I never pursued them but lured them to me. It was always their decision to approach me. I would use special foods to entice them. Gerber 2nd foods all meat baby food slightly warmed so the scent is tempting. Canned all white chicken meat with no spices or added ingredients. The kind canned in water. I poured water and warmed meat into a dish which I placed on my tummy or legs as I laid there. If kitty did not approach then I put it near them and laid back down, eyes closed and waited to see if they would approach the dish and eat with me there. If they didn’t I left and let them eat. I came back at each feeding to repeat the process. I got over a hundred kitties that way. Lol Some required more time than others or different food but it worked.
Although she does not need to be jumping around after a Spay, a toy like the wand toys could get her interest and lure her near you. Dragging it along the floor instead of in the air if she comes after it. Just getting her to come towards you to build trust.
As I recall, she likes your male kitty. Let her see you interact with him briefly each day. Just holding him, petting and speaking to him. She’ll see it’s safe. I often have other kitties act to bridge the gap in trust.
Always announce yourself before going where she is hiding. Let her know you are not sneaking up so she won’t fee she is being hunted.
This kitty has already been petted. You are a huge step ahead. She will come out. If you can, imagine being a little kitty and finding yourself in a giant strange place with giant creatures trying to get you. This is sort of a cats view. Don’t despair! She will come out and back to you. We once had a member write in that she had a feral loose in her cabin. Totally feral and never touched by a human. She was very worried. They had dogs inside too! It was hide and seek with her and the kitty. Today, that cat is a complete lover and has tamed the dogs! Sleeps with them cuddled up. Patience, time and some techniques that are used to help her adjust will allow her to feel safe and return to purring and being petted. Hang in there!

 

[nurseday07]

Well, Harper is getting more friendly and trusting. BUT only with my daughter. You see, my daughters room is in the basement so Harper has been comfortable hiding in her closet and recently has started coming out on her own to interact with my daughter. BUT only her. If my husband or I come near, she runs and hides. So, during the day I have my daughter take Harper out of her room and shit her door, thinking *maybe* she would follow my daughter upstairs to interact with the rest of us or at least my other two cats. Nope. She will hide under the steps all day and come up to eat only at night after we go to bed. She will come out of hiding for my daughter but no one else. She is still so terrified of us and it’s breaking my heart! The bad news is, my daughter moves in to her own place in 2 weeks and I’m worried what that will mean for our scared little baby.