Adjusting a newly adopted kitten and a 1 y-o cat

[Amarine]

Hi there, I'm a bit lost with my new kitten and my 1 y-o cat's attitude towards him.

I have a 1 year-old female cat, spayed. A few days ago we adopted a 2 months old male kitten. At first we isolated the kitten with everything he needs in the bedroom, and used the cage he was brought in to get my female cat to get to know his scent. However he kept crying behind the door, inciting my female cat to meow in return, which was impossible to allow, it was driving us crazy, and we also have neighbors.

We opened the bedroom and let the kitten roam. He doesn't pay much attention to my older cat, just sniffs her then goes on his business. He is prone to crying though, I speculate he feels lonely for being adopted away from his mother and siblings.

My female cat however does not let him live. I understand that her territory is being "invaded" and she feels protective, but she harrasses the kitten, staring at him, following him around, always ready to pounce him, even when he wants to eat or go in the litter box, which is problematic. She will growl a bit, sometimes her fur will rise. It isn't dramatic aggression, just what feels like hassling.

However when the kitten cries out, she will go to where he is and just sniffs at him, which in return makes him stop crying. I can't figure out if my female cat is really aggressive toward sthe kitten or not. I'm scared of goign to bed and leaving them alone together.

I suppose all I can do is have patience and watch out for the kitten when my other cat has it for him, and they'll both get used to the new conditions.

Anyway, thanks for any advice, and sorry for the long post.
A.

 

[ArtNJ]

Adult cats don't attack kittens this young with hostile intent, so don't worry about that. Some sort of biological hard wiring. Sometimes they get close enough that we recommend extra care, but your cat isn't showing any signs of that.

Hissing and intensive curiousity is normal. Even a "get away" swat is normal and fine. Moreover, since your cat is one, tons and tons of rough over-enthusiastic play is normal too. Sounds like you might have a little of that already?

With the older one being a one year old, this is almost certainly going to be ok pretty quick. However, the overly-enthusiastic play may make the kitten squeal, run and generally scare the *&^! out of you if you aren't expecting it. Its normal -- one year olds are the worst offenders, big enough to be intensely scary playing with a tiny kitten, and crazy active and clueless enough to push the envelope. However, they don't seem to ever actually hurt the kittens. It seems like the discomfort the kittens sometimes feel is more on the order of a head noogie or indian sunburn. Typically, the kitten will show you its ok by coming right back after play is done, and even initiating play sometimes, and those are big important signs. So you can let them be, gently distracting or carefully separating them only if the kitten seems particularly miserable.

I can't tell exactly where you are in the process, but I expect you'll be moving into the overly enthusiastic play before too long, if you aren't there already. Notwithstanding me saying it will be ok even if it looks scary, 8 weeks is a bit borderline if the one year old really overdoes it, so feel free to take a video to show us. If nothing else, that will allow us to reassure you better.

Good thing this is a one year old plus a kitten, since you really can't reliably skip the intro when the adult cat is older. But this young, it will almost certainly be fine, no harm done. Strap in and get ready, its going to be a wild time!

 

[Amarine]

Adult cats don't attack kittens this young with hostile intent, so don't worry about that. Some sort of biological hard wiring. Sometimes they get close enough that we recommend extra care, but your cat isn't showing any signs of that.

Hissing and intensive curiousity is normal. Even a "get away" swat is normal and fine. Moreover, since your cat is one, tons and tons of rough over-enthusiastic play is normal too. Sounds like you might have a little of that already?

With the older one being a one year old, this is almost certainly going to be ok pretty quick. However, the overly-enthusiastic play may make the kitten squeal, run and generally scare the *&^! out of you if you aren't expecting it. Its normal -- one year olds are the worst offenders, big enough to be intensely scary playing with a tiny kitten, and crazy active and clueless enough to push the envelope. However, they don't seem to ever actually hurt the kittens. It seems like the discomfort the kittens sometimes feel is more on the order of a head noogie or indian sunburn. Typically, the kitten will show you its ok by coming right back after play is done, and even initiating play sometimes, and those are big important signs. So you can let them be, gently distracting or carefully separating them only if the kitten seems particularly miserable.

I can't tell exactly where you are in the process, but I expect you'll be moving into the overly enthusiastic play before too long, if you aren't there already. Notwithstanding me saying it will be ok even if it looks scary, 8 weeks is a bit borderline if the one year old really overdoes it, so feel free to take a video to show us. If nothing else, that will allow us to reassure you better.

Good thing this is a one year old plus a kitten, since you really can't reliably skip the intro when the adult cat is older. But this young, it will almost certainly be fine, no harm done. Strap in and get ready, its going to be a wild time!

Thank you for your message! It reassures me a little.

My 1 y-o sometimes looks like she is really going for a bite, she pushes the kitten over and holds him down, and it can looks scary, even though the kitten never cried out in pain or anything. He even rushes and swats at her right after, even though he still hisses and raises fur if he is suprised or handled too roughly. Apparently cats play rough together and I'm not used to it!

The 1 y-o can still lie down close to him without acting out, eat when the kitten is in the vicinity (not right next to him though), come to us for cuddles and play, so I'm guessing she isn't THAT aggressive and perturbed by him.

I'll try to catch them "fight" on vid, it could help to show. Thank you again!

 

[Amarine]

The 1y-o also very often sniffs the kitten's butt, and I think she even cleaned him once. No idea if it's a good sign or not though!

 

[di and bob]

Yes, I think they are getting along pretty well! Females are the limit setters and are usually "don't touch me types", so her interest is good, she is not trying to get away all the time. Pinning the kitten down is normal, she is teaching him manners. One thing I have always gone by is if the kitten comes right back after a swatting or being pinned down and making him squeal, everything is normal. Her hissing, swatting, and stalking are normal. Sniffing his rear end is her way of getting to know his scent, cleaning him would be indictive of accepting him. She will most likely get tired of his constant energy at times, so give her a high up place to retreat to that she can call her own.

 

[ArtNJ]

It definitely sounds like some rough play is going on and that its goin normally. Folks always get confused by it, because it doesn't look like it could be play. Keep in mind two things: (1) cats are predators, and play by simulating hunting and fighting behaviors; (2) one year olds are stupd enthusiastic; but (3) if the one year old wanted to hurt the kitten . . . well, frankly, it would already be dead. That isn't what this is about. But yep, shoot us a video!

 

[Amarine]

Little update, they are getting used to each other. The 1 year old seems less stressed and focused on the kitten, and now cleans him regularly. The kitten has adopted her and goes to her for cuddles. I now know cats are supposed to play rough but it can looks impressive as they look like they are biting each other. Their playing can be a bit more rough/enthusiastic, with hissing and puffed out tails sometimes.
I shot a short vid but the forum won't let me upload it, it says extension isn't allowed...
Anyways starting to feel more relaxed about it, thanks a lot guys!

 

[ArtNJ]

Yeah it seems its easier to put video somewhere else and just put a link in a post here. But your right, it sounds like its going great! A little hissing from the kitten means something like "ow! thats uncomfortable meanie!" and from the big cat it means "personal space, I didn't say I was ready to play!!!" In other words, no biggy.