Added second cat...Resident cat unhappy?

[enamored]

I added a kitten to my household a couple of months back. I figured my three year old adult cat might want a friend since he seems bored and sleeps all the time. I'm beginning to think though that he is merely tolerating the other cat and doesn't necessarily *like* his presence. Let me know what you think:

When/if they are caught snuggling when sleeping, it's because the kitten goes up to him after he's asleep and cuddles up. If he's awake and the kitten goes near him, he walks away.

When he's eating and the kitten comes near, he will stop eating and walk away.

When he's playing with a toy and the kitten comes by and shows interest in the toy too, he immediately loses interest, stops playing, and walks away. Sometimes he will watch from afar but he will never join in to play if the kitten is also playing. As a result of this, he *rarely* plays anymore.

After my husband goes to work every morning, he used to come into the bedroom and join me in bed. However the kitten is always in the bedroom now and he'll now wait outside the room.

He used to greet and be more interactive with guests but now he just sits from a distance and watches as the kitten climbs all over people.

Lastly, he used to follow me from room to room (occasionally) but he doesn't do that anymore.

In general, he seems more withdrawn and independent than before...before we adopted the kitten, we actually were seeing him become more and more people oriented and affectionate but it seems like he's keeping his distance nowadays.

In the early morning, they do chase each other around and he does sometimes groom the kitten.

Do all these changes mean anything? Is this a sign of a now unhappy cat or is it normal?

(obviously the kitten is not going anywhere but I'm curious!)

 

[strange_wings]

Originally Posted by enamored

In the early morning, they do chase each other around and he does sometimes groom the kitten.

Well, this is at least positive.

It may in part be that the kitten is still so young that the other cat doesn't really have a set role yet (always letting the kitten have everything). Maybe this will change as your kitten ages and the cats figure things out among themselves.

The other stuff - have you been making sure to include your other cat as much as possible? Or do you let him withdraw? Maybe he feels he's not needed to interact now that people are busy with the kitten.

All I can suggest here is make him more a part of things again. Give him treats and playtime that he doesn't have to share. Give him extra hugs and snuggles just for him.

Cats can feel excluded from a group and when that happens they'll keep their distance to protect themselves.

 

[farleyv]

This does not seem too bad. I have done introductions that did not go well at all, hissing, fighting. The fact that he will groom the kitten is great. He sounds like a nice fellow.

I would have my husband take the kitten to another room once a day and play with him while you give your older guy undivided attention for a time. Play with him like he is the only one there. Give hugs and maybe have a cup of cocoa while he snuggles on your lap. This will reinforce the bond you had before the kitten and reassure him that things haven't changed too terribly.

But the fact that he has accepted the little one is great. You have half the battle won. They will probably end up best buddies.

 

[julied700]

I recently introduced a female kitten to our household which includes a 7 year old female. I read quite a bit beforehand because as much as I wanted another fun fluffball around the place, my existing cat is very dear to me & I wouldn't want her overly upset.

I knew it was not going to be sweetness and light for a little while & I took all the advice about keeping them separate, slowly introducing them etc etc.

I do still keep them apart at night-time and when I am out of the house - just to give the older cat some respite. The kitten is a real sweetie but all she wants to do is play (of course). This seems to be freaking my older cat out. So far I have had only mild hissing and the odd growl. Quite good I thought. I hope things will improve further as the kitten gets a bit older and calms down a bit.

Anyway, one thing I did want to ask about was that I have noticed that the kitten has started to go right up to the 7-year old and "rear up" in front of her, shaking her paws about. I THINK she's only inviting play but to me, this is invading the cat's space and a step too far. I have been picking the kitten up to remove her from the situation. Am I doing the wrong thing? Should I let the cat deal with it?

I just want to smooth the way as best I can. Any advice gratefully received!

 

[strange_wings]

Originally Posted by JulieD700

Anyway, one thing I did want to ask about was that I have noticed that the kitten has started to go right up to the 7-year old and "rear up" in front of her, shaking her paws about. I THINK she's only inviting play but to me, this is invading the cat's space and a step too far. I have been picking the kitten up to remove her from the situation. Am I doing the wrong thing? Should I let the cat deal with it?

That's definitely a kitten wanting to play, but you're right she is invading the other cat's space - but that's what kittens do. Like children they don't quite know all of the rules, yet.

Let it go and see what happens? If your older girl growls and looks upset, pull the kitten out. If she just seems annoyed but able to handle it, let her handle it. You can't be there 24/7 and you can't keep them separated forever. You still have several months of kittenhood to deal with.

Make sure your kitten is getting some intense play sessions with you so that your older cat doesn't get hounded to play all of the time.

While kittens don't always know the rules, they do know how to diffuse some situations (many will submit, coo, and purr to show they're nice cats). You have to give them time to interact and learn each other.

 

[stephanietx]

You probably don't want to hear this, but it took my resident cat 2 YEARS to fully accept our new kitty. We had a lot of the same behavior you're seeing. It was torture for me and I had to provide lots of positive reinforcement for our RC, lots of alone time with her, lots of referree-ing, lots of patience, and lots of diverting play when the new cat was too much for our RC. When it was feeding time, we had to separate them and put the new cat in a bedroom with the door closed until the RC was finished.

Even now, if the younger kitty comes near while our older cat is eating, she'll walk away because the younger kitty is the more dominant cat. So, sometimes I have to stand by the food dish and "encourage" the younger cat to go in a different direction. If our younger cat is laying somewhere the older cat wants to be, they'll "fight" over the spot. The older cat will NOT lay down near our younger cat, but our younger cat will lay down near the older cat and will jump up and lay down in the window perch with the older cat. They do play together all the time though. Grooming leads to a cat fight and tussle, so I keep an eye on them and try to discourage this behavior. They get along fine, but aren't lovey-dovey. I'm happy with peaceful coexistence.

 

[sweetseamus]

My first cat, who has always been extremely affectionate, also became more withdrawn when we got our second kitty a couple of years ago. I made sure to give him a lot of extra attention and after a while he did bounce back, and the two cats are very friendly with eachother. She was also a kitten when we brought her in, so I think he might have been overwhelmed at first, but as she got older they settled into a routine. I do think my older cat did become less needy for humans overall once she came into the household, even though he is still a loving lap cat. I'm glad we adopted the second kitty because ultimately I think she does fill a companionship niche that was missing for him. It sounds like your cats are trying to establish a routine and probably once your 2nd cat grows out of the kitten stage it will work itself out. I agree with others, though, definitely make an extra effort to give your first cat more attention. Good luck!

 

[happilyretired]

These posts are really interesting to me because a year ago I adopted a 4-year-old male (now 5) who is incredibly affectionate. I had intended to get a cat who was labeled by the shelter as needing to be an only cat, as I only want one. However, I couldn't resist this guy.

Actually, I thought he loved me at first sight, but now I realize that he loves everyone! Both his sitters adore him because he is so very affectionate.

Thus, I began thinking that I owed him a companion because he is so social. But my vet told me that he's actually 'human bonded,' and will do fine on his own. That is, what he really craves is affection from me rather than a feline companion. We have daily "loving" sessions that he instigates; sometimes 2x a day.

Given the stories on this thread, I think I'll resist the temptation to get him a companion because it would totally be for him, since I really don't want another cat, and the chances are that he doesn't want one either.

 

[lisar]

It can take kitties a very long time to adjust. When I got EG I kept them separated for about 6 months (EG was 4 weeks old and Isie was 4 years old) so the kitten could grow up some to fend my other cat off. After that it took about a year for the growling, the fighting and the hissing to stop. A year of negative reinforcement for both of them.

My cats aren't lovey dovey but they do like each other now. But now is 12 years later. They don't cuddle unless extremely scared, they do look to each other for comfort. They play and get along pretty good.. but man was it a fight in the beginning. I did it though because Isie was lonely. Very much so, chasing her shadow and such. Having another cat around when she got over the whole sharing her space thing worked out.