A year into two females not getting along—feeling defeated

[LadybugsMama]

hi all! I have posted previously about our two girls, Ladybug (6) and Kitty (11ish). I moved in with my partner in 2022, and although Ladybug and Kitty were never besties, they tolerated each other.

we moved into a new place in Feb 2023, and everything changed. shortly after we moved, they attacked one another with the most awful noises and fur flying; no one got hurt, but I did get peed on rip lol.

it’s a bigger place, so we assumed they were overwhelmed by that. we separated them and gave Ladybug and Kitty their own home bases and only let one out to roam the house at a time.

we bought a baby gate so they could safely see one another. they would sniff and hiss, but it seemed to be helping, until one of them learned to jump the gate lol.

for almost a year now, we have not been successful in reintegrating them. they swap home bases all the time, but still only one can be out roaming. we have tried treats when viewing each other, we have tried feline pheromone sprays, we have tried vanilla extract to neutralize their scent.

in the last two weeks, we have had two accidental escapes and both ended poorly. they scream at each other and immediately start attacking. no one has ever been hurt thank goodness, but after we cover one with a blanket and return them to their home base to calm down, they are definitely spooked (hissing, jumpy). since these most recent encounters, they hiss if they so much as glance the other one

is there no hope for a harmonious house? individually, they are the sweetest girls, and both want to be around my partner and me as much as possible, so we feel terrible that one of them has to be in a room at all times (even though we are often in one of the rooms or the other)

I suppose I’m looking for advice or even similar experiences for comfort—thank you for reading

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi - thank you for hanging in there with them throughout this.

You'll want to obtain a good blacklight and check throughout the house for old pee spots from previous residents. Clean them with an enzymatic cleaner.

If you don't have cameras up outside, you might want to put up at least one so that you can see if some animal or other is roaming through your yard/their territory during all hours. A motion activated sprinkler can help deter wandering animals.

When you've had a chance to address these two issues you might try Cat Music for them to help them relax and realize things are better, and there might be something in this that helps, but you need to be sure that you've eliminated the trigger(s) first;
How To Successfully Introduce Cats [The Ultimate Guide] - TheCatSite

 

[LadybugsMama]

Hi - thank you for hanging in there with them throughout this.

You'll want to obtain a good blacklight and check throughout the house for old pee spots from previous residents. Clean them with an enzymatic cleaner.

If you don't have cameras up outside, you might want to put up at least one so that you can see if some animal or other is roaming through your yard/their territory during all hours. A motion activated sprinkler can help deter wandering animals.

When you've had a chance to address these two issues you might try Cat Music for them to help them relax and realize things are better, and there might be something in this that helps, but you need to be sure that you've eliminated the trigger(s) first;
How To Successfully Introduce Cats [The Ultimate Guide] - TheCatSite

Thank you! The previous tenant had a dog, from what I know… although nothing in the house seems to attract them like a potential pee spot, maybe something is affecting them unseen to my eye. I will look into a black light!

We do have squirrels in the yard and they love to watch them or chitter at passing birds. They never growl or hiss when they’re downstairs.

Truly they only display their aggressive behavior when they see one another. The most recent slip happened because Ladybug was out, but my partner didn’t realize it and let Kitty out too. Kitty went into Ladybug’s home base, and I was downstairs getting some tuna for Ladybug. I went upstairs when she didn’t come down when I called her, and found her kind of low to the ground in the hallway. I thought it was weird but it was one of those moments I overlooked. She came down with me to eat the tuna, and only then did Kitty trot down the stairs. They saw each other, screamed, and ran on each other while hissing. Fortunately I grabbed a blanket from the couch quickly to cover Kitty. It just makes me so sad they instantly go to attack one another. Again they haven’t hurt each other, but the sounds they make are so awful, it sounds like they are!

 

[Furballsmom]

The cause/trigger isn't each other, it is another animal, either live, or previous that started this.

How To Deal With Non-recognition Aggression In Cats - TheCatSite

 

[LadybugsMama]

The cause/trigger isn't each other, it is another animal, either live, or previous that started this.

How To Deal With Non-recognition Aggression In Cats - TheCatSite

Poor kitties! This seems to explain their behavior, with both of them acting aggressively. I’m going on a trip soon, but when I’m back, we will try again to start from scratch with the reintroduction process. It can feel disheartening that we have tried it for a year with no luck, but we will persist for the girls

 

[Furballsmom]

Let us know how things go with this

 

[maggie101]

It's possible that in the old how house they settled on who's territory is whose. Now they have to start over

 

[Jessica_Merlin_Meep]

How are these kitties doing now, two months later?