3am wake ups. Tired grumpy human - need help!

[Cozzy]

I have two kitties - Zeke and Aurora. Aurora is a new edition having had her for around a month. They are intro'd and pretty good together now. Aurora however is a CRAZY, playful, non stop, thinks she owns everything kinda cat and Zeke is much more sweet and timid. Aurora has established herself as dominant and kicked Zeke off his favourite spot on the cat tree!

At the moment Aurora still goes into her room at night time so that Zeke can get a break from her really. Also I imagine she would let me get very little sleep either!

When she was first here she was fine going back into her room overnight but now its becoming tricky. Every night between 3:15 and 3:30 exactly Aurora will start banging and scratching at the door waking me up. This can go on for 30 mins to an hour. Every night its becoming too much. I have a really stressful job and really struggle with the lack of sleep. Im also worried about the neighbours complaining as I live in a flat with very thin walls and floors. Aurora will then again start banging at about 7am to be let out. I am usually up then but I always wait till she is quiet to let her out as I dont want her to associate the banging with actually being let out. When she does the 3am banging I even just try to stay completely still so she cant hear me moving and get any respsonse at all.

I was hoping that by just completely ignoring it she would stop and just accept the routine of being in her room overnight but oh no shes determined! I had it with Zeke at the beginning where he would headbutt me at 3am until after a couple of days of me playing dead he stopped and we had a great nightime routine of him peacefully sleeping on my bed.

Any ideas on how I get Aurora to stop this banging on the door at 3am every night? Her room is a massive room, she has everything she needs in it and lots of comfy places to sleep. I have feliway plugged in in there and she has all her toys. I plag with her before bed.

I have thought about just letting her be free at night but I just think that might be even worse in the lack of sleep for me and make Zeke unhappy. Also add for context that Zeke is feed on a timer at 4am as I found this stopped him waking me up at stupid hours in the morning. So I followed this routine with Aurora. They kinda both need to be seperated for this as Zeke is a chonker who will sit right next to the timed feeders and eat them both before Aurora has even realised they are open.

Any ideas?

 

[ArtNJ]

Ignoring it is the traditional remedy. Its not a *great* remedy, but its what is available and does usually work eventually. Beyond that, you should give some thought to the feeding schedule just to rule out actual hunger. A cat certainly doesn't need that reason to be a PITA at 3 am, but it is a possible cause. Trying to play with the cat more during the day so it sleeps less is recommended sometimes, but to me, doesn't seem especially likely to work.

Leaving them together at night could work if you think its viable. Hard so say; I've certainly had cats that play loudly every night at 3am so its not a guarranty you'll have quiet.

 

[Flybynight]

My cats tend to wake up at dawn and zoom about together. I normally wake up but am able to go back to sleep.

What does your kitty want when she wakes you up? Food, cuddles?
It may work allowing them to play together. I have two boys who do that.

I also leave food out. Winter I get woken later than summer as dawn is later. At the moment despite leaving food out, I sometimes feed at early morning then go back to bed.
What about microchip feeders vs timed?

Have you considered a white noise machine in your room so you do not get woken if they are outside your room? Cats pick up on routine pretty quickly, so they will soon learn you don't come out if you are consistent.
Make sure they have food and best microchip feeders if you don't want the boy to eat the girls meal.

 

[LTS3]

Here's an article: How To Stop My Cat From Waking Me Up At Night (step-by-step Plan) – TheCatSite Articles

Can you not put the cat away in the safe room at night to see if that helps? If the cats get along just fine, there's no need to put the newer cat in the safe room.

A microchipped feeder such as the Surefeed may help keep the the fat cat from eating all the food. You'd program the feeder for the newer cat and if she's not microchipped, there is a little tag she can wear on a collar to use to open the feeder. I have heard that some smart cats will hover nearby and wait until the one cat opens the feeder and then push the cat out of the way to get to the food

 

[Danneq]

Ignoring will work. It might take a few months (yes, months!) but if you're consistent, it'll work.

Play with her before you go to bed. Play with her until she's panting, if you can.

Try to find ways to build Zeke's confidence. Is he an "up" boy, or an "under cover" boy? By which I mean, does he feel safer when he's sitting on top of a bookcase, or when he's under your bed? What about Aurora? If you're super lucky, one will prefer up and the other will prefer down; then you can add some cat tunnels and find ways to arrange your furniture or install shelves (if your complex will allow it) so that they can be in the same room but on different "levels," so to speak. If they both prefer the same thing, it's still a good idea to provide more places to go up or to get under cover; if they're both feeling more confident, Aurora might bully Zeke less, and Zeke might stand up for himself more.

The end goal should be to have both cats have free run of the house all the time. Aurora yowls at night because she's unhappy -- hungry, lonely, or just plain bored. It might benefit all three of you for her to be out and about.

 

[pipperoo]

have a play session before bedtime and leave some food out overnight (is aurora young, ie. 2 years or younger? - could be hunger!!)

 

[Cozzy]

Thank you everyone for the replies.
She doesnt seem to want anything other than to be out the room and with us. She has food in there on a timer and everything else she needs.

I have thought about just letting her have the run of the house at night but I do think that both me and Zeke will get even less sleep then bacuse she'll be zooming around everywhere and trying to jump on zeke. I play with her loads but she has endless energy. She is only 15 months so Im hoping there is time yet for her to calm down a bit.

Zeke does stand up for himself now but she is the dominant one and will push and push him and i think often he gives in for a easy life!

Last night however she didnt wake me up! No idea why. The only thing I did different was for their evening meal I made sure I played with them both and then feed them so it felt more like hunting. They then did both rest well for the evening but this was quite a lot before bed time.

The only other thing that I tried was that I wondered whether it was that Zekes food may have been opening up before hers and she could smell it and trying to get to it. They both have indivdual timed feeders but its a dial rather than digital so not always accurate and really hard to get them on exactly the same time. I purposely made sure Auroras opened a while before Zekes so I wonder whether this helped? I will keep doing to test if it actually works or was just coincidence.

 

[ArtNJ]

Oh, thats an interesting theory. Cats are very cue based, and if the feeders are the same brand, and make the same noise or even close, and the other cats should be first, that does seem likely to rile up a young cat!

 

[tarasgirl06]

That makes perfect sense, A ArtNJ , not that he'd be "riled up" but that he would be confused. The opening sounds the same. Why isn't MY food open? I heard the sound! It would be the same with humans if they were used to a specific sound indicating something is ready for them.
Cozzy Since he clearly craves your company, a great way to give him an enrichment reward before bedtime is to spend 10-15 min. playing with him with an interactive toy such as da Bird or Cat Dancer. These toys are irresistible to most cats as you make them move and they mimic cats' natural prey. Jackson Galaxy has videos on this kind of play on YouTube or you can just search "Interactive Cat Play" on your computer's search engine. Playing right before bedtime will exercise him and tire him out to some extent. Cats in the wild hunt at dawn and dusk, basically, but they may hunt longer into the night if they are not immediately successful at dusk, so play right before bed will be pretty natural for your guy and he'll learn to look forward to it. You may also wish to give him a treat or two at the end of, or during, the play sessions, so he has "caught" something and eaten it. This should make him a pretty happy guy!

 

[Meowmee]

I would just let her loose, she clearly doesn't like being alone. Hopefully she and Zeke will work it out and not bother you. My guys lately sleep downstairs together. They don’t come to get me unless I get up much later than usual for feeding. We are on a nocturnal type schedule though. They get fed not long before I sleep and teeth brushed. They know after toothies there is no more food.

I miss Quinn being with me because he was most of the time and then Merlin joined in alot when I took him in.. But lately they have decided to stay downstairs. Quinn is very strong willed and I learned just to let him do as he wishes mostly. Oddly enough Merlin often goes up and lays on my bed when I am not there, I think because he knows Quinn won’t kick him off then because Quinn is very jealous and tries to kick him off- they will sometimes lie there together too though. And with me as well. If I eventually get a more cuddly cat who stays with me all the time I am sure he is going to be very jealous though

 

[Cozzy]

I always do play with her before bed and as much as I can throughout the day. She loves feather toys and can go for hours! She literally has never ending energy! I have now managed to teach her to use the cat flap and she likes to spend a lot of time exploring outside so I think that is going to help.

So the night after the success with the timed feeder, I did exactly the same and set it earlier but she was still banging at the door at 3am. But then I had an idea. I know she doesnt like citrus so the next night I rubbed orang peel on the bottom of the door. AND I GOT A WHOLE NIGHT SLEEP. I was so happy. It is a massive room shes in so she can get away from the smell and she was quite happy lying close to it but it just stopped her coming right up to the door. Ive done it again tonight to see if it works.

I really wish I could just let her have the run of the house but she would be running around like crazy and jumping all over me. I know people have said she'll work it out but she really wont haha. Shes not that kinda cat. Shes a crazy, energetic, determined sassy little thing that does what she wants. Like with Zeke when he used to wake me up by headbutting me, a couple of nights of me completely playing dead and he gave up. I know Aurora would not haha. She would keep going and going until she gets what she wants. And shes not just happy sleeping close to me, she has to literally be sat on my head. Which is sweet sometimes but not in the middle of the night!

I know she cant help it and is just being a cat, well pretty much kitten actually, but I need to get good sleep. I have a very stressful and demanding job, and its just me on my own to take care of everything in my life. I know that to cope at work and life in general I need my sleep (which is part of the reason I have chosen not to have kids haha) and Im not going to be the best cat mummy the rest of the time if I dont sleep. So unfortunately she does need to be away at night. The rest of the time she has full run of everywhere!

I did try usuing a white nosie machine last night but couldnt get to sleep with it on! I think I am a sensitive sleeper which doesnt help.

But fingers crossed the citrus sent does the trick and eventually I wont have to do it and she will just associate the door with the smell. Lets see!

 

[tarasgirl06]

I always do play with her before bed and as much as I can throughout the day. She loves feather toys and can go for hours! She literally has never ending energy! I have now managed to teach her to use the cat flap and she likes to spend a lot of time exploring outside so I think that is going to help.

So the night after the success with the timed feeder, I did exactly the same and set it earlier but she was still banging at the door at 3am. But then I had an idea. I know she doesnt like citrus so the next night I rubbed orang peel on the bottom of the door. AND I GOT A WHOLE NIGHT SLEEP. I was so happy. It is a massive room shes in so she can get away from the smell and she was quite happy lying close to it but it just stopped her coming right up to the door. Ive done it again tonight to see if it works.

I really wish I could just let her have the run of the house but she would be running around like crazy and jumping all over me. I know people have said she'll work it out but she really wont haha. Shes not that kinda cat. Shes a crazy, energetic, determined sassy little thing that does what she wants. Like with Zeke when he used to wake me up by headbutting me, a couple of nights of me completely playing dead and he gave up. I know Aurora would not haha. She would keep going and going until she gets what she wants. And shes not just happy sleeping close to me, she has to literally be sat on my head. Which is sweet sometimes but not in the middle of the night!

I know she cant help it and is just being a cat, well pretty much kitten actually, but I need to get good sleep. I have a very stressful and demanding job, and its just me on my own to take care of everything in my life. I know that to cope at work and life in general I need my sleep (which is part of the reason I have chosen not to have kids haha) and Im not going to be the best cat mummy the rest of the time if I dont sleep. So unfortunately she does need to be away at night. The rest of the time she has full run of everywhere!

I did try usuing a white nosie machine last night but couldnt get to sleep with it on! I think I am a sensitive sleeper which doesnt help.

But fingers crossed the citrus sent does the trick and eventually I wont have to do it and she will just associate the door with the smell. Lets see!

Being outside is very dangerous for cats, especially at night, unless they are in cat-fenced yards or in secured catios.

 

[Cozzy]

Being outside is very dangerous for cats, especially at night, unless they are in cat-fenced yards or in secured catios.

Shes not outside at night. And its quite normal for cats here to be outside. Yes there are risks but when weighing them up against her hapiness and wellbeing, I would rather she live a happy life

 

[tarasgirl06]

Shes not outside at night. And its quite normal for cats here to be outside. Yes there are risks but when weighing them up against her hapiness and wellbeing, I would rather she live a happy life

Just wanted to let you know. I advocate for cats 365 days a year, including cats who are lost. Time after time, they are not reunited and time after time, they meet very bad ends. I am mainly talking about cats in the UK. but there are cars, dogs, sociopaths, harmful insects, and diseases everywhere.