2 Adopted Cats, Things Not Going Well...

[IAmGrammy]

Two months ago, I adopted Chester, a large, beautiful, domestic long-haired, 2-3 years old. He is a declaw and is current on everything, in excellent health. Only my husband and I live here and Chester is very affectionate and a real snuggler... until yesterday. I thought I was doing a good thing. I adopted a female cat from a local shelter, trying to save her from being put down. I thought she would be a good friend for Chester and that she could use a good life. Her previous owners declawed her, front and back and then, I guess, decided they didn't want a cat, so they put her out, then abandoned her. At the shelter, her fur was so matted and flea-riddled that they had to shave clumps of her hair off. She is a Nebelung (long-haired Russian Blue) is 2-3 years old and is very sweet. I paid for her to have an FIV test and she's negative. I'm supposed to take her to our vet tomorrow for her wellness visit. Her name is Pansy. Pansy wants so much to be friends with Chester; she just keeps approaching him and he keeps growling and hissing. Now, I expected this; it's not the growling and hissing that bothers me. It's that Chester has gone off hiding under furniture, is off his food (he has a separate feeding setup) and, of course, is no longer in our laps, snuggling and purring.

My question is this: are Pansy's attempts to approach Chester seen as aggression by him? Do you think he's afraid of her? We have a small house; there's not much chance of actually separating them to any real degree. Chester is an extremely quiet cat; Pansy is a talker. She's just very much an extrovert, but always purring, always shoving her head against our hands, never seems upset. We just knew that super-sweet Chester would want to be friends. Boy, were we wrong. I don't want to take her back to the shelter, even though I have a week to decide, they said. Are there times when some cats just will not accept each other? I realize that 24 hours is no time at all, but I only have 5 days to decide if we'll keep her. I wish they hadn't told me that because now, there's this big clock ticking in my head, causing me to want things to progress more quickly than they probably will. Do you guys think this will take a good while to sort (if it ever does)? I don't have a lot of expertise with cat behavior. Thank you for any advice.

 

[syazz]

honestly , in my opinion, it's normal. I had a similar situation. my cat's an introvert and we brought in an extroverted kitten. it's normal for them to be hissing at each other or hiding from one another. it just depends whether Chester is territorial. my kitten is territorial and now he's grown up. we brought in another kitten and things are not going too well. just let then have exposure to each other as much as possible. maybe you can try by giving them food at the same time or by having a person each to play with both cats and let then be used to sharing the same space at the same time which will allow then to slowly ignore each other's presence. it's just that Chester is afraid of Pansy and is hissing and growling to protect himself. like a warning to tell Pansy to "back off". I hope this helps and good luck

 

[IAmGrammy]

Thank you, syazz! You know, when Chester got here in November, we just so completely showered him with affection and lap time and let him have the run of the place and everything he could want. This morning, I found him hiding, of all places, UNDER the hot water heater, in the laundry room where the litter box is. I just started to cry because, there was my beautiful boy, hiding under a nasty old hot water heater. I dug him out, cleaned his fur and brought him back in. Since then, I have been cuddling him and stroking him and just showering him with a lot of affection so that he's gotten his purr back. He still won't eat and he still won't have anything to do with Pansy but I do notice that when keeping him close and loving on him, he's at least not growling and hissing at her from across the room, like he was doing before. He's just watching her from the vantage point of my lap. Do you think this was the problem? Bringing a new cat in, you sort of do pay a lot of attention to her, hoping she'll feel at home, but maybe this sent a bad message to Chester? I think I've tried so hard to give him his space to deal with her at his own pace, that maybe it was too much space? He does love closeness. :-(

 

[susanm9006]

Most adult cats and even some kittens don’t become friends in a day or even two. You need to introduce them to one another slowly and let each get used to the others presence before they meet. And even then expect hisses and some freak outs by one or both cats. So keep your new girl in a separate room, give Chester a chance to calm down and go back to his usual routines and the start introducing each other’s scents. It will be helpful for you to read all of the posts here about introducing cats to see the steps to go through and the reactions you can expect.

 

[RufusGizmo]

i'm at four months and cats still not all getting along, but progress is being made. two older cats meeting two new kittens. if you have this figured out in five days, please tell me how you did it.

 

[IAmGrammy]

Thank you guys so much for all your help and advice. I tell you what's turning things around for us and it's so simple that I feel a bit dumb for missing it before... In trying to make sure Pansy liked it here, we were beginning to change our behavior toward our first cat, Chester, and it was just compounding the hostility. You see, we were so worried about how he would treat the new cat that we were fretting over every little hiss, correcting him, trying to encouraging him to "play nice" before he was ready. He went from hearing his customary "Who's a Good Boy, Chester?" to "No no, Chester!" What we were NOT doing was treating him the same way we had BEFORE a new cat arrived: scooping him up and giving him hugs, letting him lay on the couch with us, treating him basically like our baby. We reverted back to dousing him with affection and literally watched him begin to thaw towards Pansy, the new cat. I'm not saying that they're kissing, but whereas he did nothing but growl and hiss at her, nonstop, before, now, he's mainly just watching her with a bored, half-interested gaze from the security of our laps. Making the effort to stroke that ego has made things a lot more peaceful around here. :-)

 

[katieloo]

I'm just curious.. did you separate Pansy in her own room at all?

 

[rubysmama]

Congrats on your recent adoption of Chester and your new adoption of Pansy. Hopefully before too long they will be best buds, or at least not enemies.

It's usually recommended to keep cats separated when you get a new one, and to introduce them slowly. Here's a article on cat introductions that might be helpful: How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

Good luck.

 

[IAmGrammy]

Unfortunately, because half our home is under construction (remodel) our actual living space is temporarily very small, so I didn't really have a separate place to put her, unless it would be in our bathroom (and with workers going in and out of there, that didn't seem a good solution). Pansy, oddly enough, just took to us and the house and Chester and everything as if she's been here all her life. She just came right in and made herself at home. She doesn't jump up on counters, she uses the litter box faithfully, she's been a dream. It was Chester who was unhappy. However, another odd development is that I had to take Pansy to the vet today for her wellness checkup, so that Chester was left alone. And, ever since we got back, he hasn't hissed or growled once at her. In fact, a few moments ago, he crept up to the chair she's sleeping in and just smelled her head, studied her a moment, then sauntered over and laid down on the couch. All is quiet. Maybe he actually missed her while she was gone? Who knows what goes on Chester's mind, ha!

 

[rubysmama]

It's usually the other way around, that a cat is no longer recognized by a housemate after it was to the vet. So Charlie did it in reverse. Hopefully things are still calm this morning.

 

[IAmGrammy]

I guess he did, ha! The last 2 nights, Chester and Pansy have both slept on the same bed and this morning, after their breakfast, I opened the front door so they could watch the rain, and they're both sitting there together, doing their after-breakfast grooming. Peace In The Valley, ha!

 

[rubysmama]

Wonderful. Would love to see pics of Charlie and Pansy, if you are able to post them.

 

[IAmGrammy]

 

[IAmGrammy]

Chester is the gray and white Big Boy, ha. Pansy will be very pretty when her hair grows back. The shelter had to shave a large amount off because she came in matted and flea-riddled.

 

[rubysmama]

Chester is gorgeous. And Pansy is beautiful, even with her thin patches. So nice to see them together in one picture. I imagine they'll be best buds before long.

 

[IAmGrammy]

Thank you, rubysmama! I'm very encouraged!