Anxious, Bored, Vocal, Or Just Annoying?

Both my cats are fairly vocal and like to talk back and forth with me. But Clove (9 months old and spayed) is being a bit much these days. As soon as I get home from work, she will run over purring to greet me — and then walk around the house and WAIL for a good 30-40 minutes straight if I’m not actively interacting with her. If I close the door between us or ignore her it gets even worse and she will literally scream nonstop at the top of her lungs.

(Meanwhile, Chilli will lie calmly and watch her with the most judgmental face I’ve ever seen.)

After a long while Clove will sort of stop meowing, but then start doing naughty things that she doesn’t do at any other time, like chewing on cords or knocking everything off the shelf. She knows I will sometimes intervene when she does that. So I know she wants my attention in some way. She doesn’t want food or being pet. My best guess is that she’s been napping/bored all day and now she wants me to play with her and give her attention and stimulate her RIGHT NOW. Which I understand, but surely she doesn’t need to demand it in such an annoying way. I give her tons of attention and love and exercise/playtime, so she’s not lacking in any of those areas.

I usually ignore her completely, endure the yelling, and wait to play with her until she has stopped the meowing so that she doesn’t learn that screaming = playtime. But I’ve been doing that consistently for weeks and weeks and it doesn’t seem to have gotten better at all. Am I doing something wrong?

She doesn’t do this at nighttime or any other time really. Just after I get home. Could it be some kind of separation anxiety and she’s screaming about how much she missed me? It seems like a more upset/insistent/demanding meow. Should I just give her the attention and playtime right away?



(Incidentally, I’m an elementary school teacher and let me tell you, her constant meowing sounds *exactly* like my first grade students calling my name over and over and over... l must have the patience of a saint to deal with first graders AND Clove every day )

It's a clear sign that they miss you while you were gone and are happy when you're home and that's how they tell your that.

They want to be pampered and play after those hours of not seeing you and that's why they seek attention and also complaining to you and telling you how their day had been.

Once you attend to them, they'll be happy!

I guess it's possible that she will eventually figure out that she gets playtime every day after you get home, just not right away. But with a cat that age, I think it takes a lot of time to get them to change their ways and tune in to our requests of them-- teenage years, and all that.

I had to laugh picturing Chili rolling her eyes watching little Chai run around yelling. Classic siblings, no?

Thank you so much for writing this post! I’m struggling with something very similar with one of my two girls, Grembly. I work from home 3:5 days per week & am a homebody so I tend to be there more often than not on my downtime. On the 2 days a week I’m in the office, when I come home, Grembly turns into a monster brat! Yowling at the top of her lungs, wanting me to engage/play with her immediately

Seems like Clove misses you and wants some interaction - maybe you can set a routine or call for when you're ready to play.

Our kitten just turned one, and she is like this, but less vocal about it. We keep her favorite wand toy in a cabinet in the bedroom and anytime I go near the stairs to go upstairs where the bedroom is she races up the stair, almost no matter where she is in the house. Then she constantly gives me her "play with me" meow. I give in but not right away and not every time. She's still pretty much a kitten, and I can run her until she is panting and she'll be ready to go after 15 minutes rest.

I expect she'll settle down a little as she gets older.

rosegold said:

... Should I just give her the attention and playtime right away?

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I would. She is very young. I think it will help you if you rearrange how you might be thinking about this in your head... that is, youth is a phase that she will grow out of -- usually a kitten demanding more playtime because she is bored and misses the interaction and excitement grows out of most of that by the time they are 3 or 4 years old.

It's my view that with kittens, the humans need to think of a feline wanting to play as a feature, not a bug! I think it's a great time to play with your kitten when you get home... maybe within that first 1/2 hour or hour. I know sometimes our human schedules or immediate desires or, sometimes, our health, favor quite the opposite interaction with them -- but think of it as a phase of growing up: it may not be forever, and is a feature of being a kitten. Young cats wanting to play means they are wanting to be happy, engaged, curious, "hunt prey", run around wildly, exercise, and then konk out and relax with you or with other cats afterwards.

My two cents!

It is good that you ignore her nagging because if not she will learn that by meowing a lot it will get her your undivided attention, but wow! I do commend your patience!

I can also picture Chilli as she watches at Clove doing all these vocalizations. I wonder what she thinks during these times? LOL. It is like you dealing with human teenagers everday.

Probably soon this will wear off, but for now you need earplugs and a good songlist to play that will last for 40 minutes while Clove wails.

Then you have to replace fragile items on your shelves. LOL.

There really is no dull day with cats.

jisaacson214 said:

Thank you so much for writing this post! I’m struggling with something very similar with one of my two girls, Grembly. I work from home 3:5 days per week & am a homebody so I tend to be there more often than not on my downtime. On the 2 days a week I’m in the office, when I come home, Grembly turns into a monster brat! Yowling at the top of her lungs, wanting me to engage/play with her immediately

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My Hobo does the exact same thing, when I return from a business trip. I call this the "oh really Hobo, tell me about the rest of your week?" conversation. Really, if at all possible for your work, just plan on playing/conversing/cuddling with him for a day every time you come home!

rosegold said:

As soon as I get home from work, she will run over purring to greet me — and then walk around the house and WAIL for a good 30-40 minutes straight if I’m not actively interacting with her.

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rosegold said:

Should I just give her the attention and playtime right away?

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If at all possible, yes!! But just like 5 minutes! She MISSED you, and she wants to tell you everything that sucked about her day when you were gone! After 5 minutes of the excitement of you coming home, she should relax a bit.

Thanks everyone! I’ll try indulging her and taking out the toys as soon as I get home then She really is a sweet girl and I know she misses me when I’m gone. Sometime she plays fetch which is pretty easy to do even when I’m cooking dinner or getting stuff done around the house.

I had a great talker once and was greeted every day when I returned from work by incessant meowing. But I always assumed that she was telling me about her day and inquiring about mine. And so I talked to her as I was changing clothes and starting dinner and that was all it seemed she wanted, just a conversation.

The naughty stuff isn’t to get attention as much as it is because your return stimulates her and she needs to release that energy. Try throwing down some catnip or good catnip toys to keep her attention while you are doing other things. Or keep a special toy like a food puzzle to set out as soon as you get home so she can focus her attention on it instead of you.