Just Got Second British Shorthair - Cats Don't Get Along

Wow they are adorable! I think it’ll just take some patience from you and your wife. She is so tiny compared to him but she’ll grow. It’s not uncommon for females to set the boundaries. By the way what kind of cat tree is that?

sniffing her butt, as uncomfortable as it can be to watch for us humans, it's their way on checking on each other. It's like asking: so how are you this morning? Don't worry about this. If she doesn't like it, she'll learn to let him that know. (I'm assuming they're both fixed?)

Personally, I wouldn't interfere when they play. She still may be afraid of him as he's bigger and still overly enthusiastic of having playmate but as they spend more time with each other, they will become more familiar and self regulate their play. If she's not showing signs of major stress, just let them be and sort their things out for themselves.

And don't stress, yourself. They'll know if you do, and they will think there must be a reason, and they may get stressed themselves.

qfise said:

Also, I noticed one thing in the mornings what he wakes up he comes to her but instead of trying to play, he sniffs her butt or lady parts and starts licking them and sometimes he bites it as well. What does that mean?

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I think it is an attempt to groom. Sometimes kittens don’t keep their fannies as clean as they could be and his instinct is to help her out. And even mom cats lick and then occasionally gently bite as they clean their kittens.

And put your own sleep needs before cats. I would put her in her safe room for the night until you are more comfortable with how they are getting along so that you can get some sleep.

Thank you everyone for support! My heart brakes when I hear him growling and her ears all the way to the back but I will do as you say, will give them more space.
Do you think that it is a good idea to leave her in the safe room while I am at work? What I do is I move her to safe room with all the things she would need and i put door stopper so that she can see him and he can see her but no damage to be done in my absence

kittyluv387 said:

Wow they are adorable! I think it’ll just take some patience from you and your wife. She is so tiny compared to him but she’ll grow. It’s not uncommon for females to set the boundaries. By the way what kind of cat tree is that?

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Thank you so much! This cat tree is "Kattens No.1" which is Swedish/Danish brand.

She's a witch said:

sniffing her butt, as uncomfortable as it can be to watch for us humans, it's their way on checking on each other. It's like asking: so how are you this morning? Don't worry about this. If she doesn't like it, she'll learn to let him that know. (I'm assuming they're both fixed?)

Personally, I wouldn't interfere when they play. She still may be afraid of him as he's bigger and still overly enthusiastic of having playmate but as they spend more time with each other, they will become more familiar and self regulate their play. If she's not showing signs of major stress, just let them be and sort their things out for themselves.

And don't stress, yourself. They'll know if you do, and they will think there must be a reason, and they may get stressed themselves.

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Well he is fixed but she is not. Could it be some aggression because she is not fixed?
I think that it is him that gets overly enthusiastic because even when she sleeps he is like: "Play? Play time? Play with me? I jump on you and we play?"
He used to play with feather a lot with me but now since she is around I can bring him any toy and he completely ignores it, he just wants to play with her in his own mobbing way.

I am wondering because of all of this since they have been together for only a week now, shouldn't I slow down the process?

Sorry, I meant her growling and her ears all the way back***

qfise said:

Do you think that it is a good idea to leave her in the safe room while I am at work?

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I think so, yes until she's a little bigger and/or you-all are more comfortable with the two of them together.

qfise said:

I am wondering because of all of this since they have been together for only a week now, shouldn't I slow down the process?

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I think giving her a break now and then is a good idea so she can relax without the constant pestering, as you're doing when you're working, but otherwise I don't think I'd try to slow things down.

You said most of the time he backs up, so in other words she's able to have her say, mean what she says and he's listening. He just gets hard of hearing now and then lol.

You're doing a lot of good things for them including more hiding spots for her.

Quite likely they will both be interested in playing with you at some point in the future. As you mentioned, the "newness" hasn't worn off for him yet since it's only been a week. Are you going to get her spayed?

Take a look back through this thread when you have a chance, if you haven't already done so , and also maybe this will help;

Play Fighting Vs Real Fighting

qfise said:

Well he is fixed but she is not. Could it be some aggression because she is not fixed?

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At 3.5 mts I don't think she would have hormonal moodiness yet but could soon. She's old enough for spaying so go ahead and schedule it if that is your plan.

qfise said:

I am wondering because of all of this since they have been together for only a week now, shouldn't I slow down the process?

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They are doing fabulous for such a short time. I don't think you need to slow down since he is mostly respecting her wishes. If you can't distract him with play then give her breaks in her safe room. At her age she tires quicker than him so needs a quiet place to sleep even if it's just for an hour or two at a time.

The more they will be together, the less excited he will become with her, he'll simply get used to the fact that she's available all the time, now he has limited time to play with her and he feels he needs to use it 120%. Personally, as long as she has safe spaces to hide from him, not only I wouldn't slow down, I would actually let them be together all the time and let them sort things out without intervening.

My husband had really hard time watching my kittens' introduction: he just couldn't watch his princess being treated in such a brutal way Now, when they wrestle and swat and hunt each other, he just enjoys watching it. You'll get used to that.