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Was gonna reply to this but couldn't hold back my tears for losing Tabitha exactly a month ago while reading your grief. We all share this common feeling at one time or another, this is a great place for support. These kitties touch our hearts deeper than anyone who doesn't own a cat can...

I think you have definitely come to the right place to vent your grief. When my beautiful Tabitha passed away, I as beside myself...in tears constantly. She did live a long a fruitful life of 19+ years, but it was a devastating loss when I had to put her down. Everyone here helped support me...

The guilt is slowly leaving, but the love will never be gone. She was my companion for 19 years in this home. I had one roommate for three months, but other than that it's been only her here. So yes, we share the same pain.....as well as the same name. ;)

I am not trying to hijack John's thread here. When I first read his initial post the other day, I was in tears. It brought back the feeling I had when I held my Tabitha in my arms on the table when the vet sedated her. I couldn't go with her for the final euthanasia, and I think that will haunt...

The pic of her is when I first got her, within a few months. And that little bottle on the front part of her box is of her fur, orange and grey, that the vet did for me.

I like this, it helps me a lot too.

All cats should leave us in this manner. It's natural, and leaves less feeling of guilt(for me at least). I know circumstances dictate otherwise, but to have them leave us on their own terms, without having to 'send' them on their way, imo is the best way for them to go. Take solace in that...

Thankyou. I was only posting this because I wanted to let the author know to just love his kitten as much as he can for as long as he can, instead of dwelling on when it might happen. I had to stop typing because it was getting a bit too difficult.

I wanted to answer this yesterday when I first read it, but I am still grieving. I tried to 'know' for the past year that she would leave me soon, hoping that would make it easier....it did not. I think I knew I was gonna be a mess when Tabitha passed, especially if I had to euthanize her. So I...

I have yet to receive any sign of my Tabitha from the great beyond yet. But it's only been a week. I have her ashes looking out the window, and still talk and cry to her every day. I thank her for being in my life for those 19 years. But I have yet to see or feel any presence or sign from her.

I never mentioned that Tabitha was diagnosed with beginning stages CKD last earlier this year, and the vet said she was doing good for a girl her age. After reading some things online about what causes anemia and low blood pressure, it's said that one of the main causes was CKD. So that helps...

I'm sorry, that was the wrong way to put it. I should have said it makes my heart ache whenever I read this. I don't want anyone to think I don't want these responses, because I need them. Thankyou.

It hurts me when I read all these responses.... "Your heart was with hers, every step of the way. Your Iove was with her, and never Ieft. She knows this. Her onIy sorrow now is your guiIt over it." "she knew I loved her no matter what"; "she carries my love forever"; I ball every time I read...

I have her box, with a picture of her as a kitten taped to the top, put on top of a marble stand that looks out over the courtyard of our condo. She frequently liked to look out there when she was young. She spend her whole life in this condo, it was her whole world.

The one thing I feel guilty about now is I wasn't there when she was euthanized. I could only be with her when they knocked her out. It was too much for me... saw her still breathing when her vet took her away, but she was asleep. I hope she can forgive me for that. I owed it to her to be...