Sticky Situation

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....We had one day so far with no hissing or growling which I consider a success!

Before the move, the two males were friendly. They are brothers but they are not overly attached to each other. Sometimes they would play, sometimes totally ignore each other. Typical bros, haha.
Wow...one day with no hissing or growling...that is fast. What are in those treats. haha. (rhetorical...you don't have to answer that.)
Sounds great.
And yeah....just like typical bros...play and ignore. :blush:
So, here is the layout of the house. Downstairs there is a living room, kitchen and dining room area, and a small half bath. There is a basement where my girl's litter box is but it does get a little chilly down there so I would prefer not to keep her down there. Upstairs there are just two bedrooms and a full bath. The new boys are in the extra bedroom and my boyfriend has been sleeping in there with them to help them feel more comfortable. Maybe that is not the best idea?

My girl has been allowed to just go about her business throughout the house. We put her up in the other bedroom when the friendly kitty wants to come out in the hall or go smell her door. He has been trying to escape the last couple of days so we're letting him explore a little.

Is that wrong?
I think it's great that your boyfriend is sleeping with the boys. The cats will definitely get more comfortable this way.

And letting the brave male cat explore is also good. You're exchanging scents this way, ...and will get every cats' scent everywhere...so that they can accept each other, in the shared territory.

Just remember to not rush the actual visual meeting.

You want the cats to know each other through scent, first.

So do the feeding at the door, or treats at the door.
Then try the playing by the door, and also exchange any cat beds, cat blankets, socks or t-shirts with each cat's scent on it...except maybe not the timid cat, yet....into the other cat's space/room. See how each cat acts.

You really have a good handle on these intros...so all you have to do now....is patiently wait...for the cats to tell you when they are ready for next steps. :thumbsup:

(PS...I am very slow at typing...like molasses...and remembering...so I'll probably call them by braver cat, timid cat and female....lol. yikes. By tomorrow I should have their names down. They are truly adorable.:loveeyes:)
 

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Coral, Dexter and Bandit...cute.
(Is Dexter named from the t.v. show...no wonder he's hiding under the bed.? I haven't seen all the seasons yet, though.)
 

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Wow....definitely get that black light then...haha.
Dexter might have his own...but you'll want one too. :cool2:

Did you try putting tuna, or some really good can food out beside the bed...to lure him out?
Maybe he needs like night time to come out...since it's all quiet and dark, then.
Some cats just take a while to feel safe.
(one of my friends cats took a whole week, to come out.)
 
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leahbasford

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Wow....definitely get that black light then...haha.
Dexter might have his own...but you'll want one too. :cool2:

Did you try putting tuna, or some really good can food out beside the bed...to lure him out?
Maybe he needs like night time to come out...since it's all quiet and dark, then.
Some cats just take a while to feel safe.
(one of my friends cats took a whole week, to come out.)
We did get some of his favorite things but still no. And an update on his bathroom habits, i filled one of those rubbermaid tote lids with litter, put it under the bed, and he used it immediately. He wants to maintain his habits, just isn’t comfortable yet.
 

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We did get some of his favorite things but still no. And an update on his bathroom habits, i filled one of those rubbermaid tote lids with litter, put it under the bed, and he used it immediately. He wants to maintain his habits, just isn’t comfortable yet.
That is a fantastic idea about using the rubbermaid tote lids..as a temporary litter box.
Yay..for Dexter..for using it immediately. (You can also put some of his soiled litter, now, into another litter box in which you want him to use...so that maybe this will attract him to using the other box.)

Dexter might also be scared because the whole place smells like Coral...so I wonder if you can take some old shirts with your boyfriend's scent on them...and place them under the bed. Kind of make Dexter feel like he's in familiar settings.

Some cats love boxes, too, so maybe add some cardboard boxes any where you think is good, and create more 'safe spaces' with your boyfriend's scent, box with t-shirt inside, and also some more cardboard boxes, or alternatives for Dexter to hide into.
(I'm hoping that Dexter is not a cardboard eater, and starts to destroy every cardboard box, but as long as he doesn't actually eat the cardboard, then that should be okay.)
 
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That is a fantastic idea about using the rubbermaid tote lids..as a temporary litter box.
Yay..for Dexter..for using it immediately. (You can also put some of his soiled litter, now, into another litter box in which you want him to use...so that maybe this will attract him to using the other box.)

Dexter might also be scared because the whole place smells like Coral...so I wonder if you can take some old shirts with your boyfriend's scent on them...and place them under the bed. Kind of make Dexter feel like he's in familiar settings.

Some cats love boxes, too, so maybe add some cardboard boxes any where you think is good, and create more 'safe spaces' with your boyfriend's scent, box with t-shirt inside, and also some more cardboard boxes, or alternatives for Dexter to hide into.
(I'm hoping that Dexter is not a cardboard eater, and starts to destroy every cardboard box, but as long as he doesn't actually eat the cardboard, then that should be okay.)
That's a great idea! We did put his cat bed in there with his blankets but he won't even go out to it. I'll take the blankets out and put them under the bed with him. I think he wants to come out, he's pretty social. He will come about halfway out and lay there for some chin rubs and some pets and then he goes back.
 
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Wow...one day with no hissing or growling...that is fast. What are in those treats. haha. (rhetorical...you don't have to answer that.)
Sounds great.
And yeah....just like typical bros...play and ignore. :blush:

I think it's great that your boyfriend is sleeping with the boys. The cats will definitely get more comfortable this way.

And letting the brave male cat explore is also good. You're exchanging scents this way, ...and will get every cats' scent everywhere...so that they can accept each other, in the shared territory.

Just remember to not rush the actual visual meeting.

You want the cats to know each other through scent, first.

So do the feeding at the door, or treats at the door.
Then try the playing by the door, and also exchange any cat beds, cat blankets, socks or t-shirts with each cat's scent on it...except maybe not the timid cat, yet....into the other cat's space/room. See how each cat acts.

You really have a good handle on these intros...so all you have to do now....is patiently wait...for the cats to tell you when they are ready for next steps. :thumbsup:

(PS...I am very slow at typing...like molasses...and remembering...so I'll probably call them by braver cat, timid cat and female....lol. yikes. By tomorrow I should have their names down. They are truly adorable.:loveeyes:)
Update, the day with no hissing was a fluke. Coraline was in the hallway yesterday and Bandit made a break for it and she saw him for a second and gave a little hiss. And I read not to reprimand her behavior when she does that. Is that right?
 
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Okay. Dexter has been out from any hiding spots since Monday. He has been wandering around the house, smelling and exploring with Bandit. Coraline has not been hissing or growling when they come near the door. She meows and seems curious now.
Is it time for them to meet or do you guys think it is too soon?
If so, do I introduce Coraline to the boys one at a time? I have a baby gate to use.
If things go well, do I still keep them separated or do I just let them be?

I know the introduction is important so I just want it to go as well as possible!
 

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Okay. Dexter has been out from any hiding spots since Monday. He has been wandering around the house, smelling and exploring with Bandit. Coraline has not been hissing or growling when they come near the door. She meows and seems curious now.
Is it time for them to meet or do you guys think it is too soon?
If so, do I introduce Coraline to the boys one at a time? I have a baby gate to use.
If things go well, do I still keep them separated
or do I just let them be?
No, it's way too soon for them to meet. :bluepaw: :greenpaw::bluepaw: :)

I agree with Furballsmom, that "cats seem curious and open-minded but then get upset."
The only way to avoid all the cats from getting upset...is to do cat-introductions at an extremely slow pace.

Cats are naturally curious, and will be constantly wondering who is in their territory.
In order for you to get them to 'share territory' ...you have to do the intros in steps.

:cool2: Right now, you're still building up Dexter's confidence, by him being able to explore the rest of the house, and leaving his scent everywhere. By Dexter scent-marking, he's taking some ownership of the places he visits, and he's also getting to smell Coraline's scent, and getting to know her, too.

Your next steps should be to do more 'scent soaks'...of the items that belong to each cat, and exchanging them.
And then some 'room swaps' ....where Coraline will get to spend some time in Dexter and Bandit's room, and they will get to spend time in her room. Try not to let them see each other, even at this step. Visual contact may provoke startled feelings.

:caticon: The 'room swaps' don't have to be too long, at first,...30min to 1 hour, and then you could build up more time.
The goal here is to watch each cat, and observe their reactions.
What you are looking for from each cat is sniffing the surroundings, but also becoming calm, and relaxed, and then each cat doing some scent marking of their own. (Try to see the scent-marking as each cat leaving a 'business card' of their own in the place.)
Remember also to place extra litter boxes all over, so that no cat will feel that he cannot use one, and have an accident.

Have them feel comfortable in the 'opposite territory' rooms...by using Play, Food/Treats, Height and Love (easy to remember by the mnemonic Play For Her Love.) (This method comes from another member calicosrspecial, who does numerous intros and works with feral cats, too. I've learned a great deal from reading calicosrpecial's posts, and incorporating them with the '5 Senses Method' because they complement each other nicely.)
With the Height component, go around your home and make sure that you use plenty of vertical spaces, for the cats to run up to, and also have many escape routes, so that no cat will feel cornered and not be able to get away from another cat. Things like cat shelves, side tables, chairs, sofas, cat trees etc. These are all good things to have, so when the cats start to interact, they can also easily escape, when needed.

In a week or two, after all the cats have explored and scent-marked the entire home, and you have done the room swaps, then move on to the 'baby gate method' but still maintain no visuals, by using a soft bed-sheet or light blanket covering the gate, and getting them to eat/play by the gate.

You'll have to introduce one cat at a time, ...since you will be observing each cat's reactions.
This is easier when only two cats are involved, and much less stressful for both cats.
If you do feel and see that Bandit is more ready to meet Coraline, then you can begin this gate method before you do for Dexter and Coraline, ...just remember not to rush anything, thinking that they look fine, but forgetting that this is a huge adjustment in their lives, and Coraline's territory is being invaded by these stunningly handsome cats. :coolcat::lovecat::winkcat:

Never 'just let them be'....especially in the beginning. That would be a recipe for disaster.
It does work well with some kittens, but even then careful observation, and allowing them time away from each other, helps.
I suppose it all depends on the individual cats, since they have their own individual personalities.
Mostly, when they are older than kittens, we never just let them be, in the beginning.
You'll get there, though, so no worries. :petcat::catlove::catrub:

(PS. Would you be able to post some more photos. I really need a Coral, Dexter and Bandit photo-update, too. If not today, then whenever.:blush::geekcat:)
 
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Well.... we had a bit of a SNAFU 🙀 on Monday. My bf wasn't expecting Dexter to be out from under the bed and he made a break for the other bed and was under there for a while with Bandit, while Coraline was put away in the bathroom. But it did give us a chance to do a room/scent swap for the cats. They all seemed okay. Coraline was smelling all over and seemed calm.
After Dexter had spent some time under that bed and smelled that room, he came out and hasn't been hiding since.

I'll get some pictures when I get home! I tried to get some last night while the boys were out but they were all over the place. Which was great.:hyper: Until then, here are some past ones of these sweet kitties.
 

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