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- Aug 28, 2019
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18 U.S.C. § 2384 defines "seditious conspiracy" as follows:
I am reasonably certain that my cat, a 9-year-old adopted stray by the name of Mr. Fluffybottom, is engaged in a seditious conspiracy. He stays home when I work. Nobody else has been in the house. When I got home yesterday, I found that someone was on my computer Googling "how to prevent, hinder, or delay the execution of laws of the United States." He also has recently taken to napping on a Howard Zinn book. As he ages, he's getting spotty about using the litter box, which I initially took to be simply a sign of age, but now I am concerned that he means to start a general strike which, if it spreads, would consummate in the overthrow of the U.S. government and the establishment of a socialist workers' state.
Has anyone else dealt with sedition in cats? Any tips would be appreciated. I tried leaving Fox News on when I left for work and it didn't seem to help.
If two or more persons in any State or Territory, or in any place subject to the jurisdiction of the United States, conspire to overthrow, put down, or to destroy by force the Government of the United States, or to levy war against them, or to oppose by force the authority thereof, or by force to prevent, hinder, or delay the execution of any law of the United States, or by force to seize, take, or possess any property of the United States contrary to the authority thereof, they shall each be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both.
I am reasonably certain that my cat, a 9-year-old adopted stray by the name of Mr. Fluffybottom, is engaged in a seditious conspiracy. He stays home when I work. Nobody else has been in the house. When I got home yesterday, I found that someone was on my computer Googling "how to prevent, hinder, or delay the execution of laws of the United States." He also has recently taken to napping on a Howard Zinn book. As he ages, he's getting spotty about using the litter box, which I initially took to be simply a sign of age, but now I am concerned that he means to start a general strike which, if it spreads, would consummate in the overthrow of the U.S. government and the establishment of a socialist workers' state.
Has anyone else dealt with sedition in cats? Any tips would be appreciated. I tried leaving Fox News on when I left for work and it didn't seem to help.