- Joined
- Feb 17, 2019
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- 16
- Purraise
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Hi all, first post here. We have done so much research online about our problems, but I feel that we need to actually reach out. Sorry for the following novel.
~Background~
We adopted our first cat (Cat 1) a year and a half ago (summer 2017) from our local shelter. He was neutered and about a year old when we got him and a total weirdo. We don't know what/who raised him, as we live in a mountainous area with lots of strays. He plays fetch, likes to go for walks, is always chatty and so affectionate. He has zero boundaries with other animals, doesn't understand hissing, etc. We joke that we signed up for the responsibility of a cat but instead got something more like a dog.
He loves dogs and has always been good with cats (although out on walks, we struggled to find cats that didn't hiss at him). We weren't prepared to take on a dog (my husband has health problems and I work full time), but we wanted to get Cat 1 a friend. So we started taking him on his harness to local adoption events on the weekends. We saw a lot of cats and finally found one (Cat 2) that seemed to get on with Cat 1 very well. So we adopted him and brought him home.
Cat 2 was pulled from a high risk shelter when he was about 2 months old by a local rescue. He lived with a foster for many months and then was in the PetSmart kennels for about a month before we adopted him at 8 months old, already neutered. This was about three months ago.
We immediately noted that Cat 2 is so much more skittish than Cat 1, who's never really bothered by anything. That's fine, we were sure he would adjust. But now, months later, their behavior together still confuses and concerns us.
Problem 1: Food. Cat 1 has always struggled to put on weight - he was 6 pounds when we adopted him, and our vet told us with his length that he should be around 10. He was up to about 9.5 pounds when we adopted Cat 2. We fed Cat 1 3oz of wet food twice a day, which would stay out all day so he could eat whenever, and he always had a bowl of dry food out to munch on.
Cat 2 will eat all food that's left out, without exception. Did a lot of reading on this and determined that Cat 1 would just have to deal. We feed them in separate areas now, and Cat 1's food goes in the fridge as soon as he walks away from it. But Cat 1 has lost nearly a pound since we made this switch. We would love to take his food back out later when he's ready for more, but Cat 2 gets insanely jealous if Cat 1 gets food and he doesn't. The articles online say the free feeder needs to adjust to the scheduled meal times, but Cat 1 just hasn't. He still picks for a bit and then wanders off, even though he knows the food won't hang around anymore.
Problem 2: Playtime & down time. I mentioned before that Cat 1 doesn't understand hissing. Cat 2 is great with self-directed play. He's always batting toys around, leaving feathers all over, etc. They often groom each other, which is so cute to see. But other times, Cat 1 decides he wants to play, and it's totally unlike what Cat 2 is used to. Cat 1 will chase him all over, kind of chomping at his rear haunches and batting. We know from experience with Cat 1 that this is how he plays, the chomps are playful and paws are always claws in. You can tell that Cat 2 takes it as an attack, and will eventually end up under the dresser or recliner. When he's cornered, it turns into a tussle with hissing and howling from Cat 2. And Cat 1, again not understanding social cues, just keeps coming. He still thinks it's a game.
Cat 2 will also lay down on top of Cat 1 when he's laying in his bed or on the cat tree until Cat 1 gets up so Cat 2 can get the spot. It seems like some weird power play.
Problem 3: Litter box. We are concerned that the playtime problems are the underlying cause here. With Cat 1, we always used a top-entry box because he's a mess. Cat 2 refused to use it, so we switched to a gigantic, sandbox-style open thing that holds like 40 pounds of litter no sweat, and is cleaned daily. About 2 months ago, I noticed that Cat 2 was peeing in the box just fine, but he started pooping just outside the box on the mat. We thought maybe he was standing in the box and his butt was hanging over the side, so we switched to a giant storage bin with a hole in the side. Same problem, and he even went on the spare bed a few times. Brought the open box back out and now had two giant litter boxes - he stopped going on the bed but moved back to his spot on the mat. Moved litter box over top of the spot on the floor he was going. He moved a few inches over and and went there, still on the floor, instead.
We switched from our old litter to the Dr. Elsey's Cat Attract. This helped a bit - he will go in the box maybe a quarter of the time, but the majority of the time he's still on the mat. His foster says they had pine litter at the PetSmart, but when he was with her she used clay clumping, so we know he's used to this kind of litter. We switched from the litter mat, which was a pain and hard to clean, to cardboard, and now we replace it whenever he goes to make sure the scent isn't lingering. It doesn't help.
The last few days, Cat 1 has now started spraying in the box, which he has never done before.
Next steps. I noticed Cat 2 doesn't seem to like the high profile on our open box, so we're going to get a low profile storage bin and try the pine litter they used at the PetSmart kennels. We closed off the room where we had the litterboxes and have moved them to an entirely different area, hoping this solves the litter box problem, but no verdict yet.
Conclusion. We're so frustrated, because half the time they are so sweet together, grooming each other and snuggling while they nap. Our cat sitter once told us that they act like they're litter mates! But we don't know how to correct any of this behavior - we don't know how to show Cat 2 that Cat 1 is just playing, don't know how to tell Cat 1 to chill out with the chasing, don't know how to solve the litterbox problems.
Cat 2 is so sweet, even if he's skittish. He loves to cuddle and bonk his face against us and he loves belly rubs. We've fallen totally in love with him, but we're worried that we're getting to a point where rehoming is the only option, because he seems so stressed out and nothing that we've tried has helped. If anyone has any advice or has ever experienced anything similar, we would be so grateful to hear from you. Thanks, and sorry again for the long post.
~Background~
We adopted our first cat (Cat 1) a year and a half ago (summer 2017) from our local shelter. He was neutered and about a year old when we got him and a total weirdo. We don't know what/who raised him, as we live in a mountainous area with lots of strays. He plays fetch, likes to go for walks, is always chatty and so affectionate. He has zero boundaries with other animals, doesn't understand hissing, etc. We joke that we signed up for the responsibility of a cat but instead got something more like a dog.
He loves dogs and has always been good with cats (although out on walks, we struggled to find cats that didn't hiss at him). We weren't prepared to take on a dog (my husband has health problems and I work full time), but we wanted to get Cat 1 a friend. So we started taking him on his harness to local adoption events on the weekends. We saw a lot of cats and finally found one (Cat 2) that seemed to get on with Cat 1 very well. So we adopted him and brought him home.
Cat 2 was pulled from a high risk shelter when he was about 2 months old by a local rescue. He lived with a foster for many months and then was in the PetSmart kennels for about a month before we adopted him at 8 months old, already neutered. This was about three months ago.
We immediately noted that Cat 2 is so much more skittish than Cat 1, who's never really bothered by anything. That's fine, we were sure he would adjust. But now, months later, their behavior together still confuses and concerns us.
Problem 1: Food. Cat 1 has always struggled to put on weight - he was 6 pounds when we adopted him, and our vet told us with his length that he should be around 10. He was up to about 9.5 pounds when we adopted Cat 2. We fed Cat 1 3oz of wet food twice a day, which would stay out all day so he could eat whenever, and he always had a bowl of dry food out to munch on.
Cat 2 will eat all food that's left out, without exception. Did a lot of reading on this and determined that Cat 1 would just have to deal. We feed them in separate areas now, and Cat 1's food goes in the fridge as soon as he walks away from it. But Cat 1 has lost nearly a pound since we made this switch. We would love to take his food back out later when he's ready for more, but Cat 2 gets insanely jealous if Cat 1 gets food and he doesn't. The articles online say the free feeder needs to adjust to the scheduled meal times, but Cat 1 just hasn't. He still picks for a bit and then wanders off, even though he knows the food won't hang around anymore.
Problem 2: Playtime & down time. I mentioned before that Cat 1 doesn't understand hissing. Cat 2 is great with self-directed play. He's always batting toys around, leaving feathers all over, etc. They often groom each other, which is so cute to see. But other times, Cat 1 decides he wants to play, and it's totally unlike what Cat 2 is used to. Cat 1 will chase him all over, kind of chomping at his rear haunches and batting. We know from experience with Cat 1 that this is how he plays, the chomps are playful and paws are always claws in. You can tell that Cat 2 takes it as an attack, and will eventually end up under the dresser or recliner. When he's cornered, it turns into a tussle with hissing and howling from Cat 2. And Cat 1, again not understanding social cues, just keeps coming. He still thinks it's a game.
Cat 2 will also lay down on top of Cat 1 when he's laying in his bed or on the cat tree until Cat 1 gets up so Cat 2 can get the spot. It seems like some weird power play.
Problem 3: Litter box. We are concerned that the playtime problems are the underlying cause here. With Cat 1, we always used a top-entry box because he's a mess. Cat 2 refused to use it, so we switched to a gigantic, sandbox-style open thing that holds like 40 pounds of litter no sweat, and is cleaned daily. About 2 months ago, I noticed that Cat 2 was peeing in the box just fine, but he started pooping just outside the box on the mat. We thought maybe he was standing in the box and his butt was hanging over the side, so we switched to a giant storage bin with a hole in the side. Same problem, and he even went on the spare bed a few times. Brought the open box back out and now had two giant litter boxes - he stopped going on the bed but moved back to his spot on the mat. Moved litter box over top of the spot on the floor he was going. He moved a few inches over and and went there, still on the floor, instead.
We switched from our old litter to the Dr. Elsey's Cat Attract. This helped a bit - he will go in the box maybe a quarter of the time, but the majority of the time he's still on the mat. His foster says they had pine litter at the PetSmart, but when he was with her she used clay clumping, so we know he's used to this kind of litter. We switched from the litter mat, which was a pain and hard to clean, to cardboard, and now we replace it whenever he goes to make sure the scent isn't lingering. It doesn't help.
The last few days, Cat 1 has now started spraying in the box, which he has never done before.
Next steps. I noticed Cat 2 doesn't seem to like the high profile on our open box, so we're going to get a low profile storage bin and try the pine litter they used at the PetSmart kennels. We closed off the room where we had the litterboxes and have moved them to an entirely different area, hoping this solves the litter box problem, but no verdict yet.
Conclusion. We're so frustrated, because half the time they are so sweet together, grooming each other and snuggling while they nap. Our cat sitter once told us that they act like they're litter mates! But we don't know how to correct any of this behavior - we don't know how to show Cat 2 that Cat 1 is just playing, don't know how to tell Cat 1 to chill out with the chasing, don't know how to solve the litterbox problems.
Cat 2 is so sweet, even if he's skittish. He loves to cuddle and bonk his face against us and he loves belly rubs. We've fallen totally in love with him, but we're worried that we're getting to a point where rehoming is the only option, because he seems so stressed out and nothing that we've tried has helped. If anyone has any advice or has ever experienced anything similar, we would be so grateful to hear from you. Thanks, and sorry again for the long post.
