Warning! Possible triggers regarding childhood abuse, the dying, and prolonging death in the dying. (sorry!)
I have a lot of stories about my crazy, violent, abused childhood. I guess most are stranger than fiction but it seems to never end, and what's going on now is pretty wild, too. I'm going to really try to keep it short!
My 88 year-old mother has had dementia and congestive heart failure for several years. Last July, she was given a 6-8 month prognosis from her doctors.
Her dementia was not too bad - she recognized her children and could hold a conversation. Even as things got worse in last summer, she faded in and out, but when she was cognizant, she knew what was going on, who we were, and could recall memories from her past.
But in December, she had an ischemic stroke and was found breathing shallowly but unresponsive in her room. After many tests, the hospital did not admit her, and sent her instead to hospice care. She had cerebral atrophy and could not talk or swallow. She was given morphine and made comfortable and we said our good-byes.
But she was not to die yet. She was taken during the night without her pain killers or oxygen. My brother's son had recently filed for guardianship over her person and property (my brother has a criminal record so was not eligible to apply), so they kidnapped her to buy more time.
Despite working with the care facility, the Sheriffs, and Adult Protective Services, the rest of her family could not find her for a month. During Christmas, we did not know if she was dead or alive.
We found out that my brother and his son took her to a distant hospital, lied about what had happened to her, lied about her real medical POA's (said they were), and had her hooked up to all possible life-saving and extending devices known. My nephew even supplied illegal guardianship papers he printed from his computer, and the hospital did not question anything.
When we finally found her in January, she was still unresponsive but would blurt out words like ow and help, and hello.
She is still alive. Her permanent catheter has caused raging UTIs, she has survived bedsores, too, and just got through two weeks in the hospital with septic shock. She is still unresponsive, and the only random word she says now is "hi."
I wonder where her mind is? Is she basically on the "other side" or does she hear what's going on around her at the nursing home? Or is she just in a dark void, waiting for death to release her? I really wonder.
Maybe you have some suggestions? Any words of comfort or just your thoughts?
Thanks for reading, again apologies I know it's pretty dark.
I have a lot of stories about my crazy, violent, abused childhood. I guess most are stranger than fiction but it seems to never end, and what's going on now is pretty wild, too. I'm going to really try to keep it short!
My 88 year-old mother has had dementia and congestive heart failure for several years. Last July, she was given a 6-8 month prognosis from her doctors.
Her dementia was not too bad - she recognized her children and could hold a conversation. Even as things got worse in last summer, she faded in and out, but when she was cognizant, she knew what was going on, who we were, and could recall memories from her past.
But in December, she had an ischemic stroke and was found breathing shallowly but unresponsive in her room. After many tests, the hospital did not admit her, and sent her instead to hospice care. She had cerebral atrophy and could not talk or swallow. She was given morphine and made comfortable and we said our good-byes.
But she was not to die yet. She was taken during the night without her pain killers or oxygen. My brother's son had recently filed for guardianship over her person and property (my brother has a criminal record so was not eligible to apply), so they kidnapped her to buy more time.
Despite working with the care facility, the Sheriffs, and Adult Protective Services, the rest of her family could not find her for a month. During Christmas, we did not know if she was dead or alive.
We found out that my brother and his son took her to a distant hospital, lied about what had happened to her, lied about her real medical POA's (said they were), and had her hooked up to all possible life-saving and extending devices known. My nephew even supplied illegal guardianship papers he printed from his computer, and the hospital did not question anything.
When we finally found her in January, she was still unresponsive but would blurt out words like ow and help, and hello.
She is still alive. Her permanent catheter has caused raging UTIs, she has survived bedsores, too, and just got through two weeks in the hospital with septic shock. She is still unresponsive, and the only random word she says now is "hi."
I wonder where her mind is? Is she basically on the "other side" or does she hear what's going on around her at the nursing home? Or is she just in a dark void, waiting for death to release her? I really wonder.
Maybe you have some suggestions? Any words of comfort or just your thoughts?
Thanks for reading, again apologies I know it's pretty dark.
Last edited: