- Joined
- Apr 29, 2020
- Messages
- 5
- Purraise
- 8
Hi all. Unfortunately, I lost my "soul cat" a month ago. It was devastating. My "plan" once I felt ready was to adopt an older (probably 5+ y.o.) cat.
Ten days ago, when asking about fostering adult cats, a shelter offered to let me foster a beautiful 2-year-old for a couple weeks. My stated goal was to use a foster to feel out what it was like having another cat in my home. However, after a couple days, the cat's foster mom reached out to say that her kittens would be put up for adoption in 12 hours. My foster cat had always been surrounded by her cat-family and was very close to her sister (who was adopted out separately), so I snatched up one of her 2-month-old kittens as a formal adoption, so mama cat could have the company.
Now...I'm filled with anxiety. Initially, I thought this would be a foster to get the mama cat out of the cages for a couple weeks, but it's evident now that the shelter views this as more of a foster-to-adopt trial run. The mama cat and kitten are both sweethearts, but the kitten definitely needs more attention than I expected, and she's playing with/nursing the mama cat (who is dry by now, so mama just gets emotionally/physically irritated) so much that the mama cat mostly just wants to be left alone to rest. I've tried playing with the kitten more to wear her down, and to be fair she's a snugglebug so it isn't ALL bad! =) But it's tough when the kitten monopolizes everyone's time, and the mama cat and I have trouble bonding. I've tried sending aside dedicated me-and-mama time, but it's always incrediblt short-lived.
I'm just not sure what to do. The shelter needs an answer within a day or two regarding the foster-to-adopt mama cat, and regardless, I'm not sure the kitten is a good fit for my home. It feels like there are so many variables and not enough time. I feel like I'd be letting down the cats, the shelter, and the foster mom by giving up the kitten or both of them - cats thrive on stability and I don't want to be responsible for throwing them back into the system. I also wish I'd given myself more time with just the mama cat, because on her own she might be a great companion. I adopted the kitten because my mentality was that as long as I was fostering a cat, it was my obligation to do what was best for her, and I thought (and the shelter and foster mom agreed) that bringing in one of her kittens would be best for the mama cat.
This is all happening less than a month after losing my best friend. They're such wonderful cats (kitten is snuggling on my stomach right now, and I'm growing attached to the mama cat), but I feel like the urgency of the impending decision plus the formality of having officially adopted the kitten is making it difficult to know how to proceed.
I tried to keep the unnecessary details to a minimum, but...any thoughts or advice? I just want to do right by these cats, but I don't know whether to keep the mama, both, or abandon ship and give myself more time to grieve.
Ten days ago, when asking about fostering adult cats, a shelter offered to let me foster a beautiful 2-year-old for a couple weeks. My stated goal was to use a foster to feel out what it was like having another cat in my home. However, after a couple days, the cat's foster mom reached out to say that her kittens would be put up for adoption in 12 hours. My foster cat had always been surrounded by her cat-family and was very close to her sister (who was adopted out separately), so I snatched up one of her 2-month-old kittens as a formal adoption, so mama cat could have the company.
Now...I'm filled with anxiety. Initially, I thought this would be a foster to get the mama cat out of the cages for a couple weeks, but it's evident now that the shelter views this as more of a foster-to-adopt trial run. The mama cat and kitten are both sweethearts, but the kitten definitely needs more attention than I expected, and she's playing with/nursing the mama cat (who is dry by now, so mama just gets emotionally/physically irritated) so much that the mama cat mostly just wants to be left alone to rest. I've tried playing with the kitten more to wear her down, and to be fair she's a snugglebug so it isn't ALL bad! =) But it's tough when the kitten monopolizes everyone's time, and the mama cat and I have trouble bonding. I've tried sending aside dedicated me-and-mama time, but it's always incrediblt short-lived.
I'm just not sure what to do. The shelter needs an answer within a day or two regarding the foster-to-adopt mama cat, and regardless, I'm not sure the kitten is a good fit for my home. It feels like there are so many variables and not enough time. I feel like I'd be letting down the cats, the shelter, and the foster mom by giving up the kitten or both of them - cats thrive on stability and I don't want to be responsible for throwing them back into the system. I also wish I'd given myself more time with just the mama cat, because on her own she might be a great companion. I adopted the kitten because my mentality was that as long as I was fostering a cat, it was my obligation to do what was best for her, and I thought (and the shelter and foster mom agreed) that bringing in one of her kittens would be best for the mama cat.
This is all happening less than a month after losing my best friend. They're such wonderful cats (kitten is snuggling on my stomach right now, and I'm growing attached to the mama cat), but I feel like the urgency of the impending decision plus the formality of having officially adopted the kitten is making it difficult to know how to proceed.
I tried to keep the unnecessary details to a minimum, but...any thoughts or advice? I just want to do right by these cats, but I don't know whether to keep the mama, both, or abandon ship and give myself more time to grieve.