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- Jan 11, 2024
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So this morning I realized I still might have trauma from one of my cats dying.
To try to make a long story short one of my childhood cats was truly my best friend.
Three years ago she passed away after a weekend of terror. One night she had a seizure in my bed, the next day we went to the vet and they said it's all fine. She got about 5 more seizures that day. We got medicine for her but instead of big seizures she just walked around in a daze with small seizures all day. On Sunday night I went to go sleep at a friend's place because my parents and I decided we would wait till monday to make any decisions about our cat. My mom called me that night and said our cat had another huge seizure that she wouldn't come out of. I could have driven home since I didn't have anything to drink yet but my mom thought it wouldn't be smart to drive while sad. They took her to the vet and an hour later she passed away. I got to see and bury her the next morning.
We never knew what happened to her so suddenly. I always felt guilty for not being there with her. I had also given her antiflea drops the week prior so I was very scared that was the cause, even though I know that's highly unlikely and she probably had some sort of brain damage since she was 14 years old.
I went to a therapist and had some emdr sessions. I thought I could cope pretty well until today.
In the evening we had to put some bug spray in one of our closets, a closet our cat Miso can never get into! But then Miso did not sleep with us even though she usually does all night so I was already worried.
This morning I heard some weird noises coming from the kitchen and I sprinted over thinking it was the sound of a cat having a seizure since it's so ingrained in my head. But no of course it was just Miso casually taking a dump in her litterbox and just looking at me like 'whats your problem?'.
I wonder if I will ever get over the fear of my cat having seizures. The way my heart stopped when I thought I heard something might indicate I'm still traumatized by the events of my childhood cat.
Just wanted to rant and share this to get it off my chest
To try to make a long story short one of my childhood cats was truly my best friend.
Three years ago she passed away after a weekend of terror. One night she had a seizure in my bed, the next day we went to the vet and they said it's all fine. She got about 5 more seizures that day. We got medicine for her but instead of big seizures she just walked around in a daze with small seizures all day. On Sunday night I went to go sleep at a friend's place because my parents and I decided we would wait till monday to make any decisions about our cat. My mom called me that night and said our cat had another huge seizure that she wouldn't come out of. I could have driven home since I didn't have anything to drink yet but my mom thought it wouldn't be smart to drive while sad. They took her to the vet and an hour later she passed away. I got to see and bury her the next morning.
We never knew what happened to her so suddenly. I always felt guilty for not being there with her. I had also given her antiflea drops the week prior so I was very scared that was the cause, even though I know that's highly unlikely and she probably had some sort of brain damage since she was 14 years old.
I went to a therapist and had some emdr sessions. I thought I could cope pretty well until today.
In the evening we had to put some bug spray in one of our closets, a closet our cat Miso can never get into! But then Miso did not sleep with us even though she usually does all night so I was already worried.
This morning I heard some weird noises coming from the kitchen and I sprinted over thinking it was the sound of a cat having a seizure since it's so ingrained in my head. But no of course it was just Miso casually taking a dump in her litterbox and just looking at me like 'whats your problem?'.
I wonder if I will ever get over the fear of my cat having seizures. The way my heart stopped when I thought I heard something might indicate I'm still traumatized by the events of my childhood cat.
Just wanted to rant and share this to get it off my chest