At-home euthanasia... your experiences?

[cmshap]

I have a massive thread going about my cat's battle with large-cell lymphoma, and it is starting to look like he has a particularly drug-resisgant case that is not responding to treatment anymore.

I won't go too far into the particulars (please participate in my thread, linked above, if you want to contribute anything), but I am seriously starting to figure out a plan for euthanasia when the time comes.

Have any if you had it done at home? I'm curious about a few factors...

1. If you did it this way, are you glad that you did?
2. Was your cat more comfortable being at home, or was it still just as stressful, given that a stranger is coming into your home and sticking them with needles?
3. Was it a lot more expensive than doing it at your local vet?
4. Did the at-home euthasia instill any kind of bad memory that you associate with your home, after the fact? I was told that this can be an issue with some people.
5. If you had it done at home, and had a "good" experience (I guess I mean, you are glad you had it done at home vs. otherwise), how did you find the service that does it? My local vet used to offer this, but after she sold the practice to a new owner, they no longer offer it. So I'd be looking for a service from scratch.

If anybody is willing to share their thoughts about this, I would be very grateful.

 

[IndyJones]

Euthanasia has always been a touchy one for me.

I really don't know hiw I feel about it in genneral honestly. For me it wouldnt be the house i associate with bad memories but myself.

Reguardless of where it happened I can't help but think of it as murder. "I am a murderer" is the first thing that comes to my mind reguardless of if it was for the best or not. When I think about having to make the decision myself all i can hear in my head is "I am a murderer" "i basicly am hiring someone to murder my boy". I mean, i know Kabuto has a terminal illness and all but as long as he is sound of mind I feel like I have no right to take his life or make such disscissions.

My religion teaches life is the mist sacred thing on the planet and I just feel I can't take another life.

That being said, I myself have put many animals out of their missory such as a dove with a broken wing by a cat, or a baby bunny who was hit by the lawnmower. But this feels so different I just can't explane it.

Very intresting question that made me think deeply as my own Kabuto's body is ravaged by age and heart disease. I hope God just takes him one day. I really have trouble with this.

Sorry for dumping my luggage onto your thread but it really did make me think.

 

[cmshap]

Euthanasia has always been a touchy one for me.
[...]
Sorry for dumping my luggage onto your thread but it really did make me think.

Thats okay, I understand that everybody is going to have a complicated answer to this question, which is why I am asking it here.

I personally don't have religion, as an atheist, but I still struggle with the "murder" aspect. I know, currently, that Willy is still enjoying most of his life. He is eating, sleeping, window-gazing, kneading on my lap while purring, etc. I am waiting for him to tell me when the bad parts outweigh the good. But I have never had to deal with this on my own before (all previous pets were family pets as I was growing up, so this is the very first time I've ever had to make a call like this).

Religion or no religion, I still am very stressed about having to make this decision about the end of his life based on my own whims. I don't want to deprive him of a single day, if he were to wake up and otherwise enjoy another day, if only I had let him live.

So I am focusing on trying to figure out the most comfortable, humane way to do it. And I haven't yet decided if I want to do it at home or not.

 

[tarasgirl06]

It's good to share these considerations/questions, cmshap and I hope you get some helpful feedback.
IndyJones , yes, it is such a very complex and somber subject. I share your reverence for life and also having had to do humane ending of life in extreme trauma. And I relate to all that you say. There have been times when I have had to have professional assistance to help loved ones ascend this earthly existence, and also times when I have let nature take its course. The fact of making decisions for assistance is a form of god-playing I can't imagine anyone feels comfortable with, but there are times and situations when it is the best option for some. The fact that some nations and states have humane euthanasia for human beings is also something very complex and somber. I don't think anyone has THE answer. Our Beloved Creator gave us free will and high intelligence, and also, the choice of belief or non-belief. I don't think there is any more weighty subject that we ever consider.
My *PRAYERS* from the heart for your sweet Kabuto.

 

[iPappy]

I have a massive thread going about my cat's battle with large-cell lymphoma, and it is starting to look like he has a particularly drug-resisgant case that is not responding to treatment anymore.

I won't go too far into the particulars (please participate in my thread, linked above, if you want to contribute anything), but I am seriously starting to figure out a plan for euthanasia when the time comes.

Have any if you had it done at home? I'm curious about a few factors...

1. If you did it this way, are you glad that you did?
2. Was your cat more comfortable being at home, or was it still just as stressful, given that a stranger is coming into your home and sticking them with needles?
3. Was it a lot more expensive than doing it at your local vet?
4. Did the at-home euthasia instill any kind of bad memory that you associate with your home, after the fact? I was told that this can be an issue with some people.
5. If you had it done at home, and had a "good" experience (I guess I mean, you are glad you had it done at home vs. otherwise), how did you find the service that does it? My local vet used to offer this, but after she sold the practice to a new owner, they no longer offer it. So I'd be looking for a service from scratch.

If anybody is willing to share their thoughts about this, I would be very grateful.

Tag has been the only one I had this service for, and Tag was not a cat. But, I will answer to the best of my abilities.

1). Yes, I am glad.
2). I think he was much more comfortable being at home. It also allowed me to be curled up with him, laying on the floor in his bed, with his whole body wrapped in my arms and up against me as the injection was given.
***Also, this part was huge for me, not necessarily for Tag though I'm sure it was good for him too if it affected me this badly: For some reason, the thought of making "that drive" to the vet with him, while knowing what we were going for, had me absolutely sick. It was like a phobia. When I had to take Levi and Willie in for the last time, I didn't know that's what we were going for and it was a decision made on the table due to how bad things really were. So I didn't have that sense of knowing. (I was worried, but I had no idea things were as bad as they were for them.) I had a very, very hard time picturing myself making the appointment, a set date and time, and loading him into the car, making that drive, and unloading him for that. I was glad I was able to skip that part all together.
3). The vet came to my house on a moments notice. The charge was $150, which is incredibly low even for our area. She did things for him I'd never seen a vet do that I know were for both of us. I hold those things incredibly dear to me to this day.
I'd discuss rates ahead of time, if possible, just to avoid surprises.
4). Yes, in a way. But looking back, I think the actual bad memories and associations with my home had much more to do with his illness, my own constant anxieties about him, and the months of chronic worrying I did than the actual act of having the vet come to the house.
5). The vet is someone I've known and used for almost 20 years now. She's a wonderful person and has helped so many of my pets, as well as me. When she retires, I will be a mess. She treated Tag so well and thoroughly through the years and when I realized things were not right, I called her on a whim and asked if she'd be able to come to the house if the time came. She promised me if she was able, she would. And she did. I know I am lucky.
Have you asked the oncologist for references for this service?

 

[Silver K]

In 2019 I had booked an appointment for an at home euthanasia. The cost was almost twice as much as having it done at the regular vet but I wanted it done at home. My cat Beck had been so sick and the drive to and from the vet was so stressful on him to the point where he threw up in the car every time. I booked the appointment but unfortunately he passed away in my arms just a few hours before they were due to arrive. I had to call them and cancel last minute. I thought they would charge me a fee but instead a week later I received a beautiful condolences card with some forget-me-not seeds to plant. I cried my eyes out. When Sphinx got cancer a year later the at home service wasn't an option due to covid, but going forward I will definitely use this option whenever I can. I don't care if it costs more. If it was me I would want to die in the comfort of home instead of at a strange vet clinic.

 

[iPappy]

Euthanasia has always been a touchy one for me.

I really don't know hiw I feel about it in genneral honestly. For me it wouldnt be the house i associate with bad memories but myself.

Reguardless of where it happened I can't help but think of it as murder. "I am a murderer" is the first thing that comes to my mind reguardless of if it was for the best or not. When I think about having to make the decision myself all i can hear in my head is "I am a murderer" "i basicly am hiring someone to murder my boy". I mean, i know Kabuto has a terminal illness and all but as long as he is sound of mind I feel like I have no right to take his life or make such disscissions.

My religion teaches life is the mist sacred thing on the planet and I just feel I can't take another life.

That being said, I myself have put many animals out of their missory such as a dove with a broken wing by a cat, or a baby bunny who was hit by the lawnmower. But this feels so different I just can't explane it.

Very intresting question that made me think deeply as my own Kabuto's body is ravaged by age and heart disease. I hope God just takes him one day. I really have trouble with this.

Sorry for dumping my luggage onto your thread but it really did make me think.

I take this subject seriously, too. Over the years I have come to the conclusion that I think it's a gift, if done for the right reasons. With Tag, his end was not going to be good. The cancer was eating him up, and though X-rays were never done, his breathing over the last week suggested it was spreading to his lungs, and quickly. The dog who used to take a 20 inch jump like it was nothing couldn't take 5 steps in the yard without stopping and gasping for air. He was fainting. Infection was rampant, and it was antibiotic resistant. Making that call for him was probably one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do in my life, but the only other option was watching him have a slow, horrible, painful end. I could not allow that.
I am not the best person in the world. And I am not religious in the typical form, but, I do have a strong faith in God and hold a strong belief that He cares for his creation as a whole, and that includes our pets. On January 7th, Goofy was not acting right. He was listless, and was sleeping all the time. He had a vet appointment scheduled for the next day, and I knew some decisions were going to be made. I prayed and prayed that God would take him, peacefully, if it were His will. I practically begged him to let it be good, and peaceful, and to let my little cat just fall asleep and peacefully slip away with no pain, no drama, and no fanfare. A few hours later, that's exactly what happened. It was 2 days shy of 14 years since I held his litter mate brother at the emergency vets, begging God to take care of him as the injection was given. It reinforced my beliefs.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Thinking about this from a different angle...When all joy in life is gone for me, and there is nothing left but helplessness, infirmity, illness and pain, what do I want? I want to be helped to go with dignity and love. I want to be in my own home. I want to see my loved ones, if possible. I do NOT want to be left to drag out my last days in hopeless agony. To this end, I have gotten my sons to promise that when that time comes, they will move me to a "Death With Dignity" state, establish residency for me, and give me the end I want. I will do no less for the beloved cat who shares my home. My girl will be in our home, where she feels safe, and in my arms, where she has lived her life.

 

[tarasgirl06]

iPappy None of us is perfect. And there are legions of "religious" people who are thoughtless, careless, callous, selfish and anything but compassionate. So I wouldn't worry about that. You are a kind, compassionate, thoughtful person and that is the MOST important of all, at the root of every religious ideology but sadly, not at the heart of most people these days, if ever.
Mamanyt1953 ABSOLUTELY. That was my mom's wish and thankfully, that's how it was for her, passing here in her home, surrounded by loved ones. In every case where we are allowed to make these very personal and painful decisions, they should be made putting the loved one before ourselves, or if it is us, for those caring for us to honor our wishes. It's not about them. It's about the living being who is going to be ascending. If we make these decisions with that priority, we will not be "wrong," I believe.

 

[fionasmom]

I know that this is a difficult subject to have brought up about Willy. To answer your questions:

1. I had home euthanasia for one of my huge GSDs. Since he was not a cat, I won't go into the story, but it was very dignified and peaceful. In his case, I was very glad that I did it.
2. He would have wanted to be at home and the last thing he ever did was to pick his head up off the floor and bark, to protect me, one last time as the vet entered. She was a lovely woman with a very calm energy. Cats are different though. If Willy is accepting of people coming to your house, it might be a good option. If he panics at the sight of a new person, he might be more comfortable with a vet and office staff that he knows. Only you really can decide that. My cats, indoor pets and ferals (the ones I could trap) have all been taken to the vet because they would have been highly reactive and upset at being brought over to someone they had never seen before and handled.
3. Expense depends on your local area. It can be pricey and definitely more so than going to the vet. Cost may depend on the actual service, how far the vet has to travel, if you want them to handle the aftercare and if it is during regular hours.
https://www.lapoflove.com/find-a-vet/Wisconsin/Milwaukee/services
This company is very popular and there is a quote here for your area, if I am remembering correctly. For the same company, it is $200 higher in Los Angeles, which is what I mean about pricing. I have not used this company, but people on Nextdoor have praised them quite highly.
4. I don't have bad memories about deceased pets, so the place would not make any difference.
5. I would do home euthanasia again if it were the best option for a pet. You might try posting on nextdoor.com and asking for recommendations. Your own vet might know someone else who provides this service. I believe that for a vet to come to a residence, the have to be bonded, so not all vets can or will do this.

 

[lissalouie]

I am so sorry. I've been following your thread as a bit of a peek into an alternate universe. My Lou had what was determined to be the same sort of lymphoma, but his decline was extremely rapid (a matter of days) and by the time he was symptomatic it was too late. I ended up taking him to an emergency vet at 2 in the morning to release him from his suffering. They told me there was nothing else we could have done, as he was in such a bad state that he couldn't even be stabilized to attempt treatment. He'd just had a clear senior check weeks before so it was a huge shock, but in the end I was glad he didn't linger; he hated the vet, hated anything medical, and only liked being touched in very certain ways and very specific places. He would have hated treatment and he spared me having to make that choice.

I wish I could have done it at home, but in my case, Lou's veins were so sore from the cancer that he screamed getting his blood drawn upon intake and getting the IVs put in for the procedure. He never cried during blood draws before. I'm glad I don't have to associate that sound with my home, and it can remain a place I have so many happy memories of my beautiful boy. In my case, I am glad we were somewhere else. He was very sick, though, and by the end didn't even want to be touched at all by me, which was very out of character for my sweet, big lap cat.

Whatever you decide will be decided with love and Willy's needs in mind. You're in my thoughts.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

I'm so sorry it's bad enough you have to look at this now, cmshap .

I've had two euthanised at home, Magnus and Freya. Neither caused any association with the house we were in at the time, possibly because they were both very old and both had had strokes, iirc. In Magnus's case the main memory is of him going as he'd lived - his last act, blind and feeble as he was, was to slash the vet. (Vet, ruefully: "I rather expected that." He knew Magnus.) Freya was even more frail and her passing was extremely rapid - literally a second and she was gone.

My main concern after what happened with Katie (she died of a heart attack two weeks after diagnosis, on the way to the vet) is not leaving it too long.

 

[Margot Lane]

Since I would have had to drive 3 hours to put down my cat, I am eternally grateful to the kind traveling veterinarian (who knew my buddy well). As others have said, better to pass in the comfort of your own home, in your favorite chair, with familiar scents, held by someone who loves you. She also very kindly took him from me wrapped in his blankie & dealt with the rest, so that all I received in the mail was a beautifully carved box, making the ceremony peaceful.The greatest gift you could give him would be to ease his fears, if possible, and any pain…as to when, you’ll know… as others have said cats do tell you. I am not sure how close you are to this -you have written he’s still purring and cuddling on your lap- I know you are bracing for the end, but be sure to talk to him and love him muchly in the meantime. (I am sure you do). And be kind to yourself.

 

[Kris107]

It is a good thing when you have the time and space to make a plan. This was my primary thought when I had to make a plan:

My cats, indoor pets and ferals (the ones I could trap) have all been taken to the vet because they would have been highly reactive and upset at being brought over to someone they had never seen before and handled.

My cat did not like strangers and having one come in would have been at least as stressful as taking her to the vet. If she was a cat who liked strangers (social) then I probably would have done it at home. We have a vet nearby that has a special designated room for euthanasia. It has a couch, blankets and a private exit. It isn't home but feels better than an exam room.

All that bring said, I am sorry you are at the point of making these decisions. I hope that making a plan gives you some peace of mind when your baby gives you the sign. Do what is best for you and your cat. Leave all judgment at the door.

 

[cmshap]

Thank you to everyone who responded and shared your thoughts/experiences.

I have since learned that the hospital where I have been taking Willy for oncology also offers in-home euthanasia. I will be asking them about this tomorrow morning.

I also appreciate fionasmom 's recommendation for the Lap of Love company. I will look into this, also.

I'm not at the final point yet, as like I said, Willy is still living his life mostly okay. But he is shaking his head more and more from one day to the next, due to the tumor under/in his ear, and the discomfort it creates.

I can't put my finger on the line between discomfort/annoying sensation, and pain. I can tell there is pain when I touch/pet the area, but otherwise, he doesn't seem like he has a chronic pain situation. But its very hard to tell with cats, as we all know.

Tomorrow, I am going to call and see what kind of lead-time there is before getting an in-home euthanasia appointment, and how much it will cost.

 

[di and bob]

I've had very good luck with Prednisolone, long term, to shrink tumors in cats. Has it been tried as a comfort measure?
As for euthanasia, I had my cat, Burt, set up for at home euthanasia, but on the day he was really bad, there was an overturned cattle truck in town and every available vet was called out to help. He died in my arms. i had promised him no trips to the vets, because he was SO completely freaked out every time we went, So don't really plan on them being there at the precise moment you feel you need them. I am an RN and have seen many human deaths, everyone fights against it at the end, it is a natural occurrence. In my experience with cats, when they are not enjoying life anymore, when they start hiding and stop eating and drinking, that is the time. when there is no chance of healing, of finding a cure, don't prolong the suffering. My advise is to have an injectable, or an oral liquid pain med handy. if they struggle or start howling, give them some relief. I would have given anything to have had something that day.........

 

[cmshap]

I've had very good luck with Prednisolone, long term, to shrink tumors in cats. Has it been tried as a comfort measure?

Here's the short version of my LCL thread:

Willy has been on prednisolone for almost 4 months, since starting on chemotherapy. He made huge progress in the first few months on prednisolone and lomustine, but the tumors came back pretty quickly over the last month. Vincristine and cyclophosphamide were tried next (instead of lomustine), but so far have not broken through.

I have the option of trying 4 new chemo drugs, for twice the price of the previous chemo. I'm trying to get an answer on odds, which doctors very rarely want to estimate (and I understand the reasons why). I would like to know if this is a "snowball's chance in hell" scenario, or if it actually has a chance of working based on even anecdotal evidence that it worked on another cat. If there is evidence it could work, I may want to attempt it, otherwise I'm ready to throw in the towel.

I'm also giving him about 140% his daily prescribed prednisolone dose, because he's tolerated extra before, and has always had good blood work with no complications during chemo appointments. And I think giving him extra is slowing the tumor growth, although I can't be sure. I'm trying to discuss this with the doctor as well. But they are always super-busy and all I can do is leave messages and wait 12-24 hours for a callback.

I would seek euthanasia immediately if I thought he was suffering at all, but like I said, I don't yet see that in him. I see continuous discomfort, but mild discomfort (he can be distracted with activities, he eats, he interacts with me, he doesn't hide, he window-gazes, etc.).

 

[tarasgirl06]

A lot of overwhelming posts here. Just want everyone to know that their thoughts may help others in their time of need, and that I for one appreciate that very much.
And cmshap This has to be a very fraught time for you, but you are being as objective as possible in trying to ascertain how Willy is feeling, and that is the absolute best anyone can do.

 

[di and bob]

If he is interacting, etc. he is doing as well as he can. I don’t think he is suffering . A hurting cat almost always hides.

 

[Alldara]

cmshap You care so much for Willy. In the end your decision will be filled with love and careful consideration which means it will be the right one.

I did consider at home euthanasia very carefully. I chose because I have multiple cats, that I didn't want them to think that visitors come to do these things. We've had minimal visitors because of COVID. Keeping visitors as a positive for my remaining cats had to be considered. This won't be your problem.

For both my cats I made the decision it was time when they became uncomfortable with the level of care needed to keep them comfortable. So for Lily she stopped taking pills but then she had swelling and couldn't enjoy things. For Nobel, he didn't like the care he needed and was getting grumpy. I knew he could be comfortable for 6 weeks without care so we made the appointment for that time. He really enjoyed those 6 weeks, we pushed it another two weeks and it was good timing then. The anticipation for me was agony but also important to spend that time and I don't have regrets. Neither of my cats hid when in pain. Lily would even let me bring her the scratcher for her to scratch.

So yes, mostly chiming in on timing.

I learned from this site you can always, always push the appointment.

I, too, believe that euthanasia for both people and pets is a kind and beautiful decision. It should be an individual decision so there's no overall right time per every being.
I respect those who believe death with dignity is pain management and waiting but it is not my choice for myself or my pets. I'm happy people get to make that choice for themselves in many places. I've had human loved ones make both decisions and both were good for that person so we all were able to find peace with that. Peace and grief don't always go hand in hand. My grief for Nobel has peace but my grief for Lily did not for a long time.

So I just wish everyone here peace to accompany their grief.