It's been 2 years...will my cats EVER STOP FIGHTING?!?!?!

[julia123123]

I have a senior female and just over 2 years ago, adopted 2 semi-feral male kittens (bonded pair). I did everything right with the slow introduction but she hated them on sight and they don't like her, either. Okay, this will pass, I think. It will just take time. But it hasn't worked. One of the boys just follows the female and would never attack (she still hates it), but the other chases her. He doesn't pounce...he doesn't scratch or bite...but I hate the hissing and the chasing. The female sleeps during the day, but every morning and every night she is active (and sometimes midday) and it's constant chasing and hissing.

I've tried EVERYTHING. Lots of cat beds, high perches, toys. Diversionary play. Putting the main culprit in "time out" in his room (I have to lock the boys in a bedroom overnight so that she can move around in peace) for 10 minutes every time he chases her. I could lock her in a separate room, but she hates that and loves being out with us during the morning/evening hours. I feel so awful. She's a senior and just wants to be left in peace. I have to be constantly vigilant when she's awake and moving around and it's become a really stressful situation. TWO YEARS. This has been going on for two years! Is there any hope that they will learn to co-exist? The boys are around 2 years old and are sleeping more, but are still very rough-and-tumble. I'm just at my wit's end. I've never had this problem with cats before*...all former adoptees have learned to get along.

Any ideas??

*Only when I originally adopted the senior cat to keep my other senior cat company...they didn't get along but my first cat died from cancer after just a couple of months so there wasn't time to work with them together.

 

[lokipepperlove]

rub vanilla abstract on all 3 cats neck chest and paws cats will be like oh smells like me friend now hopefully worked for me anyway

 

[lokipepperlove]

If that fails I have some questions have they been neutered do they fight fight or just hiss

 

[julia123123]

If that fails I have some questions have they been neutered do they fight fight or just hiss

I will try the vanilla! Yes, she is spayed and boys neutered. There's not any real "fighting," just chasing, hissing, swatting. It's really just harassment.

 

[lokipepperlove]

that good if that fails Give the cats a reason to like each other.Providing them with something they love when the other cat is around or when they see the other cat. Typically, this involves giving the cats food or a treat! Play time, as well as grooming (assuming your cat likes to be brushed), can also lead to positive associations.

 

[Alldara]

How is non-diversion play working for the boys?

What does your "catification" look like in your home? (How many trees, beds, scent soakers, where, what do their resources look like?)

 

[julia123123]

How is non-diversion play working for the boys?

What does your "catification" look like in your home? (How many trees, beds, scent soakers, where, what do their resources look like?)

One window hammock, multiple window perches, multiple high perches, multiple heated cat beds (5?), a cat-climbing tree, tunnels to run through, electronic laser pointer, multiple scratching trees, tons of toys scattered all around, of course the feather wand, the bouncing wire...plus they have each other to play with, besides my husband and I playing with them! I don't know what a scent soaker is...I don't think we have that. They are pretty spoiled. Besides the window hammock and special bench so that they can lay in a bed and look outside, we leave the windows open most of the time and so there are always cats sitting in window sills. We have bird feeders outside the main living room windows for their entertainment as well!

 

[Alldara]

Soynds like they have a beautiful territory made by their loving humans! A scent soaker is anything that can be used for them to mark territory in a positive way

So you've mentioned beds and scratches those are some! If they have any of those plastic cheek rubber things on the walls those are great.

For the beds, I like to use a little blanket over them to make waking easier but it also means that some scent stays there but that they can also roll around and use their feet and such to put more scent back as we wash things. You might do this already.

Other resources are litter (one box per cat plus one) and water (one per level of the home, but at least two for three cats) and food (each having their own space to eat).

It might be worth doing some DIY puzzles or having some puzzles for them for food. I also really love those cardboard box houses and scratches. They are also great ways to provide catnip.


What kind of toys does your bully-boy like? Does he have a preferred human? If yes, does that happen to be the same preferred human as your older cat?

 

[julia123123]

I do separate out their food and little boxes. They all have their own, or at least one for each cat! They rotate through the cat beds, which no one seems to mind. The bully boy likes the feather wand best, but he gets bored so easily. He never spends more than five minutes with any activity. I think he prefers me, since I've spent the most time with him. He's skittish, even with me. When I first adopted the pair (at 6 - 8 weeks old), he wouldn't tolerate being held. I had to hold him in 30-sec increments and he gradually relaxed. He'll let me pick him up and hold him for a couple of minutes now, and sometimes he'll even sleep in my lap. I wonder if it's a territory thing? Our older girl sleeps upstairs most of the day, and the boys are mostly downstairs...although they spend a fair amount of time upstairs, too. They get worked up when she comes downstairs. Of course, she sleeps downstairs with us, so I'm sure her scent is everywhere!

 

[Alldara]

Have you found any electronic toys he likes or toys he likes to play with on his own?
Magnus gets bored easily but real rabbit fur toys from Etsy are a big hit with him.

If it's happening downstairs the most, it could be excitement. Young boys have a tendency to get a bit rough and not be able to control their excitement.

Kwik do you have any ideas for desensitization him to that?

 

[Kwik]

Hi all! I'm wondering about the senior lady - is she a particular breed? She sounds like an unintrusive,polite girl that simply likes her space and she's trying to express to the little fellow what her boundaries are and he just doesn't respect her space- they are a really good little bunch because no one is fighting even after two years it has not escalated into any stand offs or show down- she doesn't sound like the type to swat him into smartening up so she simply avoids and expresses her displeasure ( run and hiss)

You ask if it will change.... there's a possibility after 2,yrs but highly unlikely without intervention-just the one little fellow is the trouble maker,right? How does the other boy behave ? Does she avoid him as well

Can I know their names to make it easier ?

I know the situation drives you bonkers though it doesn't seem too problematic from what you're describing - I think some lead training might help this dynamic,can we talk more about when and where the chasing begins,what triggers these episodes and what you do to control the boy?