Would You Rehome This Cat? (i Can't Believe I'm Even Asking This)

[profcat]

We have a cat, Max, who we can't touch. We're not used to that-- we've done a lot of rescue, and have a couple cats with some obvious PTSD issues, but not being able to touch a cat isn't part of our experience.

Max came inside after I trapped him and his sister as kittens (in our backyard-- maybe 5 months old). He was harder to trap than her, so he might have been more traumatized by that event. We brought them both in and isolated them for a few weeks (worms, etc.). We've had them inside 2+ years. They both get along with our other cats wonderfully. His sister, Sam, is a LOVE. She's the sweetest cat ever. Max, though, won't let us touch him. He'll even hiss if we get too close or startle him. I can put food down in front of him, but that's about it. He loves his sister and gets along wonderfully with our other furbabies-- he's very good with our blind cat.

But now he has constant crystals (had his urine tested, no infection) and is peeing everywhere! And we've NEVER had that happen. We had him on 6 weeks of Hills Science diet and crystals didn't go away, so now we're trying the Purina prescription diet. It's hard to give it to him bc we can't just scoop him up and isolate him in the bathroom to eat. He eats in the bedroom with his sister, but then he has to be watched so he doesn't steal her food. It's a pain, and very stressful for him and us. If we had to give him meds, we wouldn't be able to unless we could get it into his food.

We have tried touching him. I closed the door on him in the bathroom once and tried to give him sardines. He hissed and growled so badly, I ended up super upset that I upset him so much, and let him out.

We're thinking he's miserable with us, and might do better in another home. Honestly, we're not sure what to do at all. Any advice?

 

[Notacrazycatlady]

For what it's worth, I think separating him from his sister and the other cats would be more traumatic for him than anything. Instead of shutting him in a room alone with you, what about using his sister? Sitting with them while they eat together in the bedroom and pet her, feed her a bite of sardine and then offer one to him. I'd start by offering it and then slowly putting it in his bowl with him watching and gradually work up to feeding a bite to her and then trying to get him to take a piece from you.

If he's in pain, then his attitude toward you might ease as his discomfort goes away.

My two cents worth at any rate, take it for what it's worth.

 

[MargoLane]

Hiya! Sorry you're going through this. My sister had a cat with crystals and it was hard to deal with! Before making any decision on rehoming Max, I would think about it this way. If you could get the crystals and peeing under control, could you live with his attitude towards people? Especially since he loves his siblings and is good with your blind cat?

I would start with that and think about his fear afterwards, especially if he isn't scratching or biting you. I would start by introducing wet food into his diet and getting a pet water fountain, if you haven't done these things already. Crystals are often caused by a lack of moisture and too much plant matter in dry cat food. If you aren't able to get Max to drink from a pet fountain, you can blend extra water into his wet food. It's all about getting as much moisture into them as possible.

Once you have the crystals under control, you can try some of the tried and true tactics to manage aggression and bond with him. Make sure you have a cat tree or cat shelves, so he can get high up and feel safe. Play with him for at least 15 minutes a day; use a wand toy and let him hunt his "prey" and get his energy out. Just how I would approach it! Good luck!

 

[BlueJay]

I spent a few weeks at a farm that had a cat that had been found in the street, alone, as a kitten. It was probably around 6 to 8 weeks old, and when they introduced it to their own litter of kittens and the mom, they all got along and he just joined and nursed and everything. When he got older, and faster, he didn't let anyone touch him anymore. He was a little over a year old when I met him, and he would only come over for treats when his best friend came over first. It was like she was teasing him, telling him he was missing out, and he would come right over! It took a few weeks before he would take them out of my hand or let me pet him, but having his friend around helped a lot.

 

[Purr-fect]

Im sorry for what you are experiencing.

You have been generous with your time, money and efforts to cats over the years.

Keep in mind, max will not rehome well. He will have even more behavioural problems once separated from his cat family. He will likely be bounced from home to home and then finish his days in a cage.

I havent experienced the stresses you are going thru. But my feelings are ...... try to mange the crystals and accept he likely wont ever be close to you. But you will literally save his life by keeping him. And take comfort in your cats that are friendly to you.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
As mentioned above, this kitty needs for things to slow down. He's not miserable as far as it goes, he simply needs time, and for you-all to be relaxed around him.

I closed the door on him in the bathroom once and tried to give him sardines. He hissed and growled so badly, I ended up super upset that I upset him so much, and let him out.

This was much too soon and made him feel trapped which was all he could think about.

Take a few steps back from everything.

Sit on the floor with him and his sister, read poetry (happy, pleasant, so that your voice sounds inviting), work on your computer or whatever, then read some more poetry. -->Don't look at him, don't approach him.

This will take time and patience and going slowly. (Rehoming him while he's scared will fail. Get him to the point he's not scared, you may find the crystals might not be as bad anymore, and he'll rehome with a LOT more success).

Have some treats out on the floor, he'll catch on eventually that his sister is getting the good stuff

--and try some relaxing music - it really does work. Classical harp music, George Handel compositions, the app Relax My Cat.

Oh, and play with his sister, a wand type toy could be good. He needs to see her interact with you in good ways.

For feeding, put his sister in a crate so that you don't have to hover and stress him out. He needs a lot less stress surrounding him.

Try and remove as much as possible from the room he's in (this is temporary until the peeing gets squared away), get some puppy pee training pads for the floor, more litter boxes, and in case you're not familiar there's an enzymatic cleaner that doen't require soaking called The Equalizer.

 

[Furballsmom]

Maybe these articles will have something to help. They aren't lengthy and have good info;

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat

You, Your Cat And Stress

16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats

14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me

Playing With Your Cat: 10 Things You Need To Know

How To Make Your Home Bigger (at Least For Your Cats)

 

[Willowy]

Who do you think would adopt him?

Rhetorical question. Nobody would (maybe, possibly, if you had a barn cat adoption program in the area. But if he has crystals that would probably kill him).

So that's out. I'm afraid you're stuck with him, unless you have him euthanized .

Is it possible to switch all the cats, or at least him and his sister, to canned food? That really helps with crystals, at least for most cats. It doesn't even have to be special prescription food, although you should stick with the prescription food until the current crystal flareup is taken care of. Another way to increase his water intake is to get some cat water fountains, or at least provide more water bowls. He may be too scared to get to the water bowl if he doesn't want to be around people.

 

[FeebysOwner]

ALL of the above x 200!!! What did the vet offers as a possible explanation for him peeing everywhere because of crystals, given he doesn't have an infection? Did the vet think that he is experiencing any level of pain? That would certainly not help his demeanor, and help to explain his peeing outside the litterbox.

It's different for every cat, but my cat, Feeby, had stones so bad that she had to have bladder surgery 8 years ago. She has been on Hill's C/D and Royal Canin SO (both dry and wet) since then, without recurrence of stones. I doubt those foods would be harmful for his sister, who doesn't have urinary issues, but you could ask the vet to see.

Get this crystal issue under control as much as possible, and then work on the rest of the issues - including all of the above wonderful ideas/suggestions. He may never love you, but if he is back in better health, it sounds like you were willing to tolerate it. He will do NO better anywhere else.

 

[profcat]

Oh my goodness! Y'all are AMAZING, as usual. Your posts bring tears to my eyes. Of course we don't want him euthanized, and we know he'll be hard to rehome. I think the peeing issue has us feeling defeated bc we never had a cat pee outside the box before (aside from isolated incidents) and we don't want the place to smell like cat pee. We have multiple cats, but we're SO clean!

We do have a water fountain (a big one), and water bowls all over the place. And he eats mostly wet food (the prescription diet) with occasional dry food snack (also prescription food).

We'll keep giving him the new Purina prescription diet and test his urine in 3 weeks-- the one good thing about him peeing on the floor is we can get a sample easily that way. Otherwise, we'll have to traumatize him and take him to the vet.

Can stress cause crystals? If he's constantly stressed out, could that be the root cause? We're hoping he won't have these forever. THANKS again everyone!

 

[FeebysOwner]

I get the peeing thing - especially if you're not sure you can eventually stop it. I was freaking out for the multiple days that I had to 'stalk' Feeby to see if she was peeing outside her litter box, then run in to clean it up. It is nerve wracking, not only because of the clean up but because you know there is something that is making your cat act unnaturally.

Some cats (like mine) apparently have a propensity to stones/crystals. I have never been told stress might be connected, but then Feeby is a pretty laid back cat. If no one else responds to that on this site, ask your vet if that might be attributing to the problem.

 

[Furballsmom]

I'm not a vet but I found this TCS post regarding stress as a factor;
Cat With Urinary Crystals

These suggestions, along with mine and all those above, and go slowly (I know he's been with you for a while but I'm suggesting to start with him as though you're just meeting him), try music, and you'll have a healthier cat