When you know it's time...

[dragonheart]

...to bring a new companion home.

I lost my previous companion, Connor, to cancer late last summer. He was a great cat and the loss hit pretty hard. I've never been able to simply go and get another cat when the previous one departs, so instead I lavished my attention on my mom's new cat Misha, who was adopted just days after his loss. Our house is divided into two apartments and Connor had the run of the entire place because, well, what Connor wanted Connor got. Misha's only visited my apartment a few times, as I knew I would be adopting again eventually and didn't want her to get too comfortable. But anyway, the point is that my house has been quiet and empty for awhile now.

But now the renovations in my apartment are nearly complete and I find my thoughts turning increasingly toward cats once more. I came back here and have been reading all kinds of threads, just because. I've spent an unhealthy amount of time on Petfinder just looking, scouting it out. I've already picked out a couple of potential adoptees--figure with kitten season it will be slow going for adults, and I only need a week or two before I'm ready anyway. Kittens are great--when they belong to someone else. 

 I much prefer to have a mellow chill buddy, myself. Connor was that and then some.

So that got me to thinking a little bit--do you have a specific sign that tells you when you're ready? My subconscious seems to know better than I. I barely even gave it any thought until the past couple of weeks and now I'm all but consumed by excitement at the idea of having a companion again.

 

[red top rescue]

It seems to me that it's like love -- you know it when you feel it/find it.  You are browsing Petfinder.  Soon you will set up a meet & greet with one of those cats perhaps, or you will go to a nice no-kill shelter and meet some cats, and at some point, you will find The One.  Just remember, that like people, there is a lot more to them than meets the eye.  Relationships take real love & commitment.  I think you will be 100% ready to adopt when you find you are wanting to save a cat rather than fill the hole in your life left by your last cat.  When Connor's spirit is sitting on your should and saying, "Let's go find a new buddy who really needs us and would fit into our life, okay?"  And out you go, with Connor on your shoulder, and you find the right cat soul that needs you and will benefit by having this loving ghost cat around too, that will be when you know.

 

[dragonheart]

Thanks. 

 I already know it's time for me. Connor's loss was hard but not unexpected, so it's hardly an issue of replacement. I was just more curious to see how other people experience 'that feeling'. I've already come across a cat who spoke to me in his pictures--I mean, what else can you call it when you see a cat and know his name, and I don't mean his shelter name. He's about the same age Connor was when I adopted him and, like Connor, has a health issue that while in this case doesn't make him unadoptable, will make him harder to place. Should he still be there in two weeks when all the work is done and my home is ready, he's coming home with me, provided I meet the shelter's standards of course. If not, well there are plenty of other cats who need homes; if it's meant to happen it will happen, if not then perhaps he isn't the one for me.

 

[red top rescue]

I totally agree with you, if it's meant to be, it will be.  We had a case recently of someone who had fallen in love with a particular cat (but had not told us) and needed to get adoption funds together.  When she came back, the cat had gone to another home!  She left, disappointed because she had her heart set on that particular cat.  She came back a couple of days later to hang out and meet other cats, and the people returned the cat she wanted because "he's too affectionate and needy, we think he will be lonely when we are at work."  They got a less needy cat, and she got the cat she wanted all along!  The Cat Goddess is always on duty, I think, and all we rescuers do is serve her as best we can.

 

[peaches08]

I adopted these three cats 8 days after euthanizing my dear old Grey who suffered from end stage renal disease (CRF) and other chronic conditions.  I knew her time was coming before she was euthanized, and had looked on petfinder as well.  After she was gone, my house was so painfully quiet that I just could not take it.  I decided that the best thing I could do was save another kitty.  So a friend and I went to pick up that year old grey and white cat with the sweet face I kept seeing on petfinder as well as a friend for him.  I got 3 cats:  the grey and white year old cat, and two 8 month olds.  My house has life again. 

 

[dragonheart]

That's also why I try not to get overly attached to any cat via pictures. Or at the very least, I pick out a few different options. 

 I'm only going to adopt one, but since kitten season is in full swing I imagine all shelters are having a hard time placing adults. The cat I'm particularly interested in is FIV+, which I've been reading up on right here in the forums. Neither the shelter nor the vet specified if that was what Connor had, but it does sound very familiar. Connor had all of his teeth removed (before we adopted him), had flare ups and a compromised immune system, etc. Wish I had known about L-Lysine, but I'm not convinced it would have done anything at the stage he was in. Near the end our vet admitted to us they hadn't expected him to live more than a few months after we adopted him--our vet was upset with the shelter for sending him home with us with incomplete information, some of which she had to get herself from their vet. I suspect they didn't tell us because far too many owners so readily abandon at the first sign of trouble. On the other hand, I admit a certain amount of pride that he got 2.5 good years with us, substantially more than what they had estimated he had left. If the cancer hadn't cropped up he would still be here, as we were managing his conditions to the best of our abilities and had finally gotten his flare ups under control.

So knowing all that, I do feel like it would be appropriate to adopt a cat who, while healthy now, may develop these issues in the future, because I am already familiar with them. And with new knowledge from here, will be even more prepared to provide the best possible environment for this particular cat. Connor was loved and will be missed, but the lessons he taught are forever.

I know exactly what you mean by a painfully quiet house, as well. 

 Worst feeling in the world. My mom and stepfather couldn't stand it (my stepfather isn't even a cat person but he loved Connor), which is why they got Misha just 3 days after Connor was gone. The poor thing was only half her weight when they brought her home and very skittish. You'd never know it now, though! She's back up to a normal, healthy weight and although it took 6 months for her to really settle in, she's quite happy and far less independent than the shelter said she was, lol. I visit her a lot, but my apartment is still so quiet and still. It just feels...wrong.

 

[peaches08]

@LDG is a good one to ask about FIV information.  She has a FIV kitty herself and has done quite a bit of research on diet and supplements.  She has a Chumley thread somewhere in the Health forum.  Chumley is her FIV kitty who is managing it VERY well.

 

[dragonheart]

Yep, I've been reading up on the Chumley saga for the last couple of days, actually. 

 Already making up a "cheat sheet" of extra things I can do to provide the best possible care for this new kitty, including supplements, making sure he gets an annual dental, etc. I'm also going to make sure I deep clean my apartment to ensure it's as clean an environment as possible for him. Maybe a bit embarrassing to admit but sometimes I still find a bit of Connor's fur now and again, mostly under things I don't move very often.