Overly Needy Cat

[bpenniman]

I got my orange 6 year old tabby cat 3 weeks ago and the first two weeks he was fine being independent. But now he needs to be with me constantly. If I use the bathroom and shut the door he meows and scratches on the door. He needs to sleep with me at all times and he will meow all night and scratch at the bedroom door if I don' let him in. He often will not eat unless I'm in the kitchen with him. I need two litter boxes, one in my room and one near the kitchen because he doesn't want to leave my side at night or if I'm in the kitchen or living room. It's getting very frustrating. He gets jealous when I give my dog any attention or when my mom or a friend come over. I don't know what to do? Ugh.

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Congrats on the adoption of your new cat.

I'm partial to orange cats myself. The orange cat in my profile pic is my girl, Ruby.

Can you post a picture of your orange tabby?
How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post

Is he getting along ok with your dog? If they're not fighting, that's a really good thing.

Being jealous of the dog, not so much though.

Here's a TCS article that might be helpful:
Do Cats Get Jealous? (and What To Do About It When They Do)

And one on How To Stop My Cat From Waking Me Up At Night (step-by-step Plan)

 

[surya]

I think you need to indulge the kitty with extra attention for awhile and then the kitty will calm down. That has been my experience anyway.

 

[susanm9006]

I agree with Surya. He has finally found his person. He thinks you are wonderful and he doesn’t want to lose you. As soon as he knows you aren’t going anywhere and neither is he, he will calm down. Sounds like he is/will be an awesome lap cat.

 

[LAL]

My calico was adopted 8 months ago and is still fairly clingy. She follows me around room to room. [I made the bathroom off-limits, I need one place that is mine.]

Make time JUST for your cat--cuddle and coo over him. Play just with him if he is inclined to it. He doesn't know he is HOME yet. It took dental surgery and follow-up vet visits for Melody--after which she kept coming home with me--for her to understand she'd be staying.

 

[bpenniman]

Those are all good suggestions. He actually plays by himself with toys and rolls around and I can study for college when I give him a little bit of catnip. A good tool I picked up on today.

 

[Yanaka]

I agree: it's only been a few weeks and your cat is still anxious and confused! You can give him some time as suggested and then figure it out if he's still overbearing. I understand how that can be annoying--I love my personal space, too.

My two cats follow me everywhere although they didn't use to when they were a little younger (they're a little under a year, now). But I think with cats the more they get to know you and the more they can trust you, the more they are willing to show you their attachment and see you as a reference! When I go upstairs, they come running to follow me there; when I am in my room they hang out by the window; generally speaking, and even though they're sleeping sound somewhere (or they look like they are), if I change rooms or floors they want to be in the same space. One of them spends a little more time upstairs alone because he loves my room's windows as a watching spot, but right now he's sleeping on the couch across from where I am. And I know that if I move upstairs he'll come running in my legs with me

I find it important to have rules and routines (especially for a confused or needy cat), and maybe you can start to rule out certain spaces at certain times to guide him. Cats get the hang of new routines pretty easily (provided they're not stressed out, which is probably still your cat's case). For example, I keep my room closed at night because they won't let me sleep and they shed a lot of hair. They cry a little at around 1 or 3 a.m. and I feel bad for my roommates, but that's how it is.

I also think adding space for your cat to enjoy independently could help. I always talk about cat trees to my friends who own kitties because they satisfy various fundamental needs such as climbing, watching, scratching, and sleeping. The tallest tree you can afford (Amazon has a few very tall models for 70 bucks e.g. Armakat--I love ours and would love to get a second one) placed at a window will do wonders for your family. Your cat might become less clingy if he has vertical territory to explore and use, could feel safer from your dog and will have solo activities that felines need such as watching movement outside and staring at birds in the morning. Vertical space is important for any cat anyway, regardless if they're clingy or not. Please try one for yours, he can't not appreciate it if it's placed at a sunny window in a room where you lounge a lot.

I have to say, however, that I can't study properly for school in my apartment. Cats are just another distraction and I always find myself to be managing them and can't focus non-stop. You might still need to study somewhere else in the long run lol

 

[bpenniman]

That's very good advice. The people that had him before declawed him so he doesn't need to scratch the cat tree but I am going to go on Amazon right now and look for cat trees. He would love one next to my huge window in my living room.

 

[Yanaka]

Poor baby is declawed?! That’s awful certainly adds to general anxiety and feeling of defenselessness.... I hate people.... this makes me so angry

 

[danteshuman]

I have one cat (my punk Dante) who follows me around every where. Years ago I gave up and started leaving the bathroom door open a crack so he could follow me in there to.

I'm so sorry he was declawed! Even though he was declawed he will still do scratching behavior to leave his scent. Cats have scent glands in their paws. I suggest a cat tree and maybe a cat shelf. Either way I would make a place for him to be near me while I was studying.

Declawed cats can live long healthy lives. When he becomes a senior you need to watch out for arthritis caused by the removing of his digits. He has less defenses without claws and needs to be an indoor cat. He also won't be able to climb so well if he was say, trying to out run a dog. When we didn't have a gate and my cat snuck out to the front yard and got chased back into and up a wall by a dog. I don't think he could have made his emergency climb up the concrete block wall without all his claws (he now has a gate and stays in the backyard and is supervised.)

Lastly hourly breaks where you get up, get a drink, pet him or play with him for a few minutes should hopefully encourage him to let you study. Just be sure calm petting is the most that happens at your study place. Cats love routine. So soon enough he will figure out yours. Thank you for adopting him.

 

[jen]

Even though his claws have been removed, they "scratch" for other reasons such as marking their scent. I would definitely get the cat tree. He will love it!

Also I have had my cat for 15 years and she is as clingy to me to this day as she was as a kitten if not more. Just get used to it

 

[sweetblackpaws]

Cats that are weaned too young tend to be needier throughout their life. So he is 6 years old, do you know his history (other than the fact that they declawed him which probably also makes him feel very vulnerable)?

My girl was a 10 day old foundling and is very needy. A vet told me this common in foundlings and cats that are weaned too young.

Or, he may just love you very much!!

 

[bpenniman]

I know the man who owned him before put him on craigslist and when I called about him he said he would drop him off but I could tell the man was drunk. I gave him my address and two days later his daughter dropped him off at 5 AM because her dad had to go to the hospital for alcoholism. So I don't know his story. He doesn't like to sleep with me at night the last 2 days so I just leave my bedroom door open and he usually just hangs in the living room or kitchen. Also he tends to have love nips when petting that hurt sometimes alot. I think that might be because he was declawed.

 

[bpenniman]

I should also add he doesn't act like an adult haha. He LOVES to play all day. I had a cat wand he broke so i just bought two more because he plays rough with his toys. I've bought and ordered many toys to keep him busy. If he gets bored of toys he usually nips me and rolls over so i play with him but he bites hard so I get the wand out instead. He's a major major goofball.

 

[danteshuman]

This is sounding more & more like play aggression. If he is hissing at your dad & your dad throws a toy away from himself, will your cat go for the toy? Please try it. If so it is play aggression. Also your dad may need a cat body language refresher course. So he doesn't give off threatening vibes.

Play aggression, at my wit's end
How To Stop Playtime Aggression In Cats
Aggression In Cats

 

[danteshuman]

Love nips in a declawed cat may be a claws cat's equivalent of a bop or scratch or his way of saying no. Watch his tail,a slight twitch might mean "I'm super annoyed with what you are doing and I will punch you man if you don't back off now!" Our semi-feral barely twitches his tail has a warning then he scratches or nips (he used to full on attack he is getting better. He gets easily over stimulated when petted.)

 

[Yanaka]

Poor kitty! So he doesn't hang out with you that much? Or does he still follow and meow? I'm confused haha

 

[bpenniman]

No he follows me everywhere and anywhere. He just loves to play as much as he can.

 

[Kal_shadowsmom]

If it's any consolation, there's a reason why my cat is named shadow.(And its not just because she's gray,lol)

She acted very similar to your boy. A few weeks of independent exploration then the great cling.

I just give her plenty of play time. On work days, after I come home we play a few times, usually right when I get home, before dinner for her and before I go to bed. We play for at least 20 minutes each session.

She also had toys for independent play. Look into puzzle boxes for cats. I made a toy from a pretzel tub, cut some holes in it and shoved a fuzzy mouse inside. She usually spends some time trying to get the mouse out.
When it comes to cat toys, variety is the spice of life.

Good luck with your boy.