I lost 2 cats within 9 weeks

[JennPeach1422]

My cat Jennings who was eight and half had to be put down down in November 2022 due to kidney failure. I had been sick with Covid and my husband was out of town for work. I had to sit in the car at the vet because I was still not completely over Covid . I cried and cried because I couldn’t be with Jennings while he was taking his last breath. The pain has been awful. I miss him so much.

My husband came home the next day . He went out and got a kitten. She was 4 months old named Peaches. She did help our grief and was a joy to have . I was still hurting over Jennings but Peaches was so lovable and sweet. She was an orange and white tabby and she reminded me of Jennings. He was an orange tabby. We went through Thanksgiving and Christmas.

On New Year’s Day I was very sick .again. I had to go to the doctor . She said it was bronchitis more than likely brought on from Covid. During this time we noticed Peaches stomach was swelling. My husband took her to the vet . The vet said it was wet FIP. The vet said as long as she was still eating and active to not put her down until she stopped eating. Our hearts were broken again .

I was still trying to get over having bronchitis. I did start doing some research to see if there was any way to save Peaches. I found a group on Facebook that treats cats with black market treatment . I joined this group and Peaches started her treatment the next day. It was injections. It hurt her and it was very difficult to have to give her an injection twice a day due to this. It was also very expensive. This treatment was for 84 days.

Peaches did well at first and I thought she was getting better . She took a turn for the worst . She stopped eating , she couldn’t get up anymore , and her kidneys were not functioning well. I took her to the vet and her labs came back fine other than the kidneys. The next day I decided I wasn’t going to put her through anything else . I called my husband and he met me at a nearby store to go with me to the vet . He was driving and I was holding Peaches . She threw up really bad and then I saw her take her last breath and she died . I went to pieces. We arrived at the vet and they checked her to see if they picked up on a heartbeat. There was nothing .

I hate myself for putting her through the treatment . My vet told me he didn’t think it would work and that if it did she could relapse . He said I needed to think about there was a reason to why the treatment wasn’t FDA approved. The admins and others were in the group really thought Peaches would make it and I thought she would too. I caused her to suffer and die a terrible death. Her stomach had gotten so swollen.

She died on February 2nd of this year. I hurt more 2 months later about her and Jennings. I can’t sleep and I can’t eat . I’ve talked to people who understand but it’s not getting better. My husband and I don’t have children . Our pets are our kids. I miss Jennings and Peaches so much and I will always love them. There’s times I’ve even thought I heard their meows and that I saw them out of the corner of my eye. I guess this is because I just want to see them so much. Maybe one day my pain will ease some. I’m going to post their pics. Jennings is the first pic and Peaches is the second pic. I’m sorry this was so long . Thank you for reading .

 

[silent meowlook]

I am so sorry for your losses. Not fair that you had to experience that.

The black market FIP treatment has been successful in many cats. It is in the process of getting approval for the US. Unfortunately it just wasn’t for your cat. The vets that say it won’t work have not had experience with it, because it still is illegal in the US. So, they just don’t know. I worked at a feline only hospital and have seen it work. It does hurt.

You have to try. And, you did try everything that is available and even the super expensive treatments that aren’t readily available. You can’t be angry at yourself for that.

Imagine how you would feel if you hadn’t tried. You would have hated yourself for not trying and would always think that you could have saved your kitten.

As humans in general, we find it very hard to accept that there are some situations that we have no control over. We get angry at ourselves, like if we had done this of that the outcome might have been different. Sometimes there is nothing you can do and sometimes there is no reason for them to die, but they do. It is a helpless feeling and grief is unbearable.

Now anger on the other hand is a much easier emotion to feel. Nobody seems to have problems expressing anger. But grief just aches and hurts and nobody is ever comfortable with their grief. At least none I have ever met.

You must be kind to yourself. You tried. You had no idea if the treatment would work and it does work for many cats. You tried your best. You really did but sometimes there is nothing to be done that will help. But there is no way of knowing that.

I am so sorry this happened to you twice. It isn’t fair and I hope you can find some comfort in knowing there was nothing else you could have done different.

I am also so sorry you weren’t able to be with your cat when they euthanized him. You were with him during his life and that’s what mattered.

Seeing them out of the corner of your eye is normal. You just don’t want to accept they are gone. Some people say that when that happens, they are visiting you. I think that’s a nice thought.

 

[di and bob]

Your precious Jennings carried your love in his heart, he was not alone.....Peaches needed someone to help her through this horrible disease, you were chosen because you gave her what she needed the most, the love and support of a family. Think what would have happened if she had never found you. She needed you and you were there.
You tried, you did what you could with what you had. Never be sorry about that. Peaches just needed your love and she had that.
I am so sorry you had to go through all this. Sometimes life kicks you in the teeth. You did nothing wrong, all you did you did out of love. It hit you especially hard because you were sick too. Feeling miserable and still having more misery piled on. Please don't dwell on all the could haves, should haves. That does nothing but bring pain. i know from experience. They deserve to be a celebration for being in your life. If you can, don't hesitate to bring in a couple of kittens to lift your spirits. Jennings and Peaches would like nothing more. They showed you what a cat's love can be, and any new love will reside right next to theirs and help it to grow even stronger. do not ever be afraid to open your heart to more love. as you know there is so much pain out there. Their love can never be replaced, it will be in your soul forever. The bond of love is spiritual so eternal. you never diminish or replace love, you enhance it, help it to bloom in the sunshine of happiness.
So though you are filled with pain, go forward into life and seek its happiness through love. Do as you would want them to do if you were the first to go. They want the same. Not to go through life in pain and misery, but finding love and knowing they will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers. Their new paths will always parallel your own until the end of time.
If you would have never known them, you would have been spared this pain, but look at what you have gained by having them in your life.
I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, do not hesitate to come here to grieve, we can empathize with you and help you through this. You will never get over this, but time will brings about ways to cope. To live with the pain and manage it. Time is the only thing that helps with matters of the heart. It dulls the sharp edges. so try to have good memories, and keep busy. Get through one day at a time......RIP precious Jennings and Peaches. You will always have secure places in loving hearts, you will never be forgotten. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[JennPeach1422]

I am so sorry for your losses. Not fair that you had to experience that.

The black market FIP treatment has been successful in many cats. It is in the process of getting approval for the US. Unfortunately it just wasn’t for your cat. The vets that say it won’t work have not had experience with it, because it still is illegal in the US. So, they just don’t know. I worked at a feline only hospital and have seen it work. It does hurt.

You have to try. And, you did try everything that is available and even the super expensive treatments that aren’t readily available. You can’t be angry at yourself for that.

Imagine how you would feel if you hadn’t tried. You would have hated yourself for not trying and would always think that you could have saved your kitten.

As humans in general, we find it very hard to accept that there are some situations that we have no control over. We get angry at ourselves, like if we had done this of that the outcome might have been different. Sometimes there is nothing you can do and sometimes there is no reason for them to die, but they do. It is a helpless feeling and grief is unbearable.

Now anger on the other hand is a much easier emotion to feel. Nobody seems to have problems expressing anger. But grief just aches and hurts and nobody is ever comfortable with their grief. At least none I have ever met.

You must be kind to yourself. You tried. You had no idea if the treatment would work and it does work for many cats. You tried your best. You really did but sometimes there is nothing to be done that will help. But there is no way of knowing that.

I am so sorry this happened to you twice. It isn’t fair and I hope you can find some comfort in knowing there was nothing else you could have done different.

I am also so sorry you weren’t able to be with your cat when they euthanized him. You were with him during his life and that’s what mattered.

Seeing them out of the corner of your eye is normal. You just don’t want to accept they are gone. Some people say that when that happens, they are visiting you. I think that’s a nice thought.

Thank you very much. I appreciate all that you said.

Your precious Jennings carried your love in his heart, he was not alone.....Peaches needed someone to help her through this horrible disease, you were chosen because you gave her what she needed the most, the love and support of a family. Think what would have happened if she had never found you. She needed you and you were there.
You tried, you did what you could with what you had. Never be sorry about that. Peaches just needed your love and she had that.
I am so sorry you had to go through all this. Sometimes life kicks you in the teeth. You did nothing wrong, all you did you did out of love. It hit you especially hard because you were sick too. Feeling miserable and still having more misery piled on. Please don't dwell on all the could haves, should haves. That does nothing but bring pain. i know from experience. They deserve to be a celebration for being in your life. If you can, don't hesitate to bring in a couple of kittens to lift your spirits. Jennings and Peaches would like nothing more. They showed you what a cat's love can be, and any new love will reside right next to theirs and help it to grow even stronger. do not ever be afraid to open your heart to more love. as you know there is so much pain out there. Their love can never be replaced, it will be in your soul forever. The bond of love is spiritual so eternal. you never diminish or replace love, you enhance it, help it to bloom in the sunshine of happiness.
So though you are filled with pain, go forward into life and seek its happiness through love. Do as you would want them to do if you were the first to go. They want the same. Not to go through life in pain and misery, but finding love and knowing they will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers. Their new paths will always parallel your own until the end of time.
If you would have never known them, you would have been spared this pain, but look at what you have gained by having them in your life.
I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, do not hesitate to come here to grieve, we can empathize with you and help you through this. You will never get over this, but time will brings about ways to cope. To live with the pain and manage it. Time is the only thing that helps with matters of the heart. It dulls the sharp edges. so try to have good memories, and keep busy. Get through one day at a time......RIP precious Jennings and Peaches. You will always have secure places in loving hearts, you will never be forgotten. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

Thank you so much for your kind words!!

 

[marshmallow2013]

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful sweet babies, Jennings and Peaches. You did everything you could to help them even though you were sick. I feel your pain. My deepest condolences.

 

[JennPeach1422]

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful sweet babies, Jennings and Peaches. You did everything you could to help them even though you were sick. I feel your pain. My deepest condolences.

Much appreciated!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Jennings and Peaches, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

First, never feel you have to apologize for long posts...not here. Here is where we come to empty our hearts when they are so full of pain that we cannot seem to draw a breath. No apologies are ever, ever needed. I am so, so sorry. So much loss, on top of that horrible illness...I just cannot imagine. Not at all. This I can tell you. Both Jennings and Peaches are now together in That Place Where All Things Are Known. They understand the depths of your love for each of them. Jennings knows that your very soul was with him, although your body could not be. And Peaches knows how desperately you fought to keep her safe, and well, and with you. Neither of them blames you for one single thing. They know that every action you took was guided by love. And, they send their love, translated and purified into Love, back to you, to walk with you down through all of your days. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.

 

[JennPeach1422]

Rest you gentle, Jennings and Peaches, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

First, never feel you have to apologize for long posts...not here. Here is where we come to empty our hearts when they are so full of pain that we cannot seem to draw a breath. No apologies are ever, ever needed. I am so, so sorry. So much loss, on top of that horrible illness...I just cannot imagine. Not at all. This I can tell you. Both Jennings and Peaches are now together in That Place Where All Things Are Known. They understand the depths of your love for each of them. Jennings knows that your very soul was with him, although your body could not be. And Peaches knows how desperately you fought to keep her safe, and well, and with you. Neither of them blames you for one single thing. They know that every action you took was guided by love. And, they send their love, translated and purified into Love, back to you, to walk with you down through all of your days. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.

Thank you.

 

[lesleigh]

I'm sorry about this tragic loss of both of your sweet babies- and your illness too, which I'm sure was also painful and frightening. Please don't beat yourself up for trying the treatment. You were really there for Peaches.
It's infuriating and unfair to have so much thrown at you at once. Please be kind to yourself so your body, mind, soul and heart can begin to heal. I'm glad you shared your story.

 

[JennPeach1422]

I'm sorry about this tragic loss of both of your sweet babies- and your illness too, which I'm sure was also painful and frightening. Please don't beat yourself up for trying the treatment. You were really there for Peaches.
It's infuriating and unfair to have so much thrown at you at once. Please be kind to yourself so your body, mind, soul and heart can begin to heal. I'm glad you shared your story.

Thank you so much for the kind words.