How To Socialize An Adult (non-feral) Cat?

[courtykat]

So, some backstory: I was gifted this cat when he was a kitten, about 10 weeks old (he's 16 months now), and he's no stranger to humans at all. But at the time I received him, I didn't have any way of taking care of him, so the person who got him for me has been housing him in her home with 9 other cats (yes, she is absolutely a crazy cat lady). As such, he's used to human company, but not so much to human affection.

And I am a very affectionate human.

I've also done this before with another cat. She was about the same age as he is now when we first got her, and she was raised in a shelter since she was a kitten; so background-wise, she was not too much different from him. She opened up a lot in the time that we had her, and even after 5 years, she was still changing and opening up. Unfortunately, in April of this year, she was attacked by dogs and didn't make it... So now it's just me and my new-ish cat, who I should be getting in less than a week.

SO, all of that to say, how should I train my new kitty to receive affection? I know with adult cats, it takes longer to socialize them than with kittens, but I'm wondering if there are any methods or helpful tricks that will make it easier for the both of us. The last cat warmed up to me through my own sheer stubbornness, but I didn't really know what I was doing. This time, I'd like to be a little more prepared.

Any articles, videos, or just straight advice would be great. I can also provide more info if needed.

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Condolences on the loss of your other cat. RIP sweet kitty.

As for your "newish" cat, I guess you won't really know what he's like till you bring him home. Once you bring him home, post again and let us know how things are going, and if there are any issues.

For now, here's one article on 14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me

 

[courtykat]

As for your "newish" cat, I guess you won't really know what he's like till you bring him home.

I... I do know what he’s like, or I wouldn’t have posted here. He’s lived with somebody else for a while, but that doesn’t mean I’ve never seen him, interacted with him, or heard updates on his behavior and well-being.

And what he is like is just what I described. Used to humans, but not to affection. He’s not a fan of being pet or picked up. He much prefers cuddles from other cats, because that’s what he’s used to. He’s energetic and playful, but his attitude towards people is neutral more than anything.

 

[amethyst]

You will need to bring him home to see how he is in your home, without the other cats for comfort/companionship. Cats can act differently when alone then they do when around other cats. For example, one of my cats Rascal (my avatar) is very affectionate when in the bedroom with just me, but she doesn't like being held and isn't very affectionate when outside the bedroom. I would see how he reacts when it's just you and him, it could likely be different then his current behavior. So far you are just a visitor not his owner (in his mind), and he has other cats to keep him company, so you need to form a bond first.

Also some cats have their "person", another one of my cats has decided my husband is her person. She is fine with me, and does come for a pet or cuddle from time to time, but when my husband is home she is always following him around and wanting to be held, petted, or in his lap.

Give him space and time to settle in, you can't force a cat to be affectionate, it will backfire and take much longer for the cat to trust you. Not all cats are affectionate, but even ones that are not use to it can learn to accept it. Just take time sitting with the cat, petting him if he lets you, but watch closely to the body language so you stop before he has had enough. You want to leave him wanting more then you give so he will seek you out for attention. Play is also a good bonding tool, find out what kinds of interactive toys he likes.

Above all though, I know it's hard but, don't compare this new cat to your old one. Different cats like different things, and have different personalities. I know it can be hard when you think "well my old cat like to do ... or like ... " . He is a new cat not a replacement.

 

[rubysmama]

His personality may remain the same once you bring him home. Or he might become extra clingy and follow you around. Or he might go into hiding. There's really no way to totally predict what'll he'll be like in a new environment, with a different purr-son, and no other cats.

Please do post a picture of him, now if you have one. Or once you bring him home. How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post

And while you wait to bring him home, here's an interesting thread to read:
What Was Your Cat's Behavior Like In The First Day?

As well as How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home