Clingy Kitten; At My Wits End

Info:
Domestic shorthair, Female, Spayed, 10 months old, healthy weight

Background:
Adopted from a shelter, came very malnourished. Diarrhea, used to scarf up food and then vomit it out. Nursed her back to health, spoonfed her till she learned how to eat normally, now she's a good slow eater and poop is great. Congenital tooth issue -- took her to a dentist and they removed one of her canines.

Other cats:
3 others, they all get along splendidly. She is the glue between all of them. Cuddles with each, plays with each, grooms everyone everyday.

Routine:
fed 1 can of wet food (Blue Wilderness) twice a day -- morning/evening.
2-3 play sessions per day with humans. She has 3 other kittens she plays with on top of it.

Issue:
Nonstop howling and vocalizations. Her meow is incredibly shrill. I go into the bedroom, she follows like a shadow and howls under the door crack. Frequently wakes me up in the morning by howling at random times -- 6AM to 9 AM. I work from home so I already spend a lot of time with her (pet + play), and she's in the vicinity 24/7. I'm at my wits end -- I feel like I give her a lot, and all those things I give them to her _not_ when she's demanding them. I wait until she's quiet. But the vocalizations just seem to be her nature -- she never stops them.

For example, the morning howls are never rewarded for her. Totally ignored, etc. Still been going on for months with no sign of stopping. Sometimes when she's quiet I will pet her for a while, and if I walk away, she will start letting out those shrilly sounds. I ignore it, but it doesn't seem to matter. It will happen again next time.

Recently she learned how to open doors. She only opens them to try and force her way to be with me. I only close the doors to bedroom when I sleep and to my office when I need to get some work done and she's in the room vocalizing / distracting me. She's banged against the door enough times to learn how to open it. Now I have to lock it, so she's back to the usual routine of banging against the door handle && vocalizing. I've _never_ rewarded this behavior. Never went to open a door, and never shouted at her. I just ignored it by putting on headphones and now locking the door. The funny thing is she only opens any doors when I'm behind them. She could be exploring all manners of "off-limits" areas but she has no interest in them if there are no humans there.

She's just way too high maintenance, and my patience is running thin. It was OK before and kind of cute, but after months of this I am very exhausted and I even cried from frustration a few times. I don't know why she's so unhappy. I read online about how to train kittens to be quiet -- I don't think I have the stamina to train her like that. She has worn me down. I'm not even sure I feel good petting her anymore because she gets so upset sometimes when I stop it.

Does anyone have any advice? The other 3 cats are very healthy, happy cats. My house has a lot of cat trees, I cycle toys for them and have always made sure to give them all a workout at least once per day. Poopboxes scooped twice a day. I feel like I am a responsible caregiver. But she makes me feel like I am constantly failing her because she howls all the time.

I am writing this right now with her sitting in my lap. She's a sweet tiny kitty, but she's also a demon with those vocal chords of hers. Sometimes I feel like I could have so much peace if I gave her away, but my heart breaks when I imagine her back at the shelter.

Please send help.

I think you may have a very attached kitty. I had a cat that was my beloved bud/punk. He was super attached to me. I was amazed and I bit heart broken to discover half of my bud's behavioral problems disappeared when I stopped locking him out during the night.

What happens if you just let her be with you 24/7? Reward her when she is with you quiet?

I trained my punk to be quiet by mildly annoying him (lightly touching his nose), saying hush, then walking away and ignoring him. Mind you I only did when he did the ear splitting meow. You can try tapping her back or side very softly instead of touching her nose.

Good luck!

Is the Blue Wilderness food for kittens? How many calories is she consuming per day? And how much does she weigh? It doesn't sound like she's getting quite enough food.

Also, please don't actually give her to a shelter. She clearly loves you and is deeply attached to you. It would clearly be traumatic for her to lose you.

She weighs 8 pounds. 2 cans estimate to about 270kcals per day. The vet says she's a healthy weight. I used to feed everyone 3 cans per day each but the vet advised me to cut down to 2 as 3 was too much in her opinion. They all transitioned to the new diet smoothly and haven't complained nor lost weight.

Out of all of my cats she's the least interested in food. She eats about 90% of her plate usually, some days 100% but mostly she stops when she's full. She's always been good in that regard.

Ah I forgot about the food angle! Try giving her a bowl of dry food between her two feedings. (Start with maybe a third of a cup, increase to 2/3 a cup per day if needed.) At 10 months old she is still growing until she is 18-24 months old! I'm feeding my baby boy wet food (3oz every morning and night) and giving him kitten dry food between meals. I figure provided he eats 6 oz of wet food per day .... the dry food doesn't need to be the best insaley expensive dry food.

Also my boy is part siamese .... my beloved punk was part siamese to. My boy, well I fostered him, he had a failed adoption and now he freaks if I leave to take out the trash or if there is a closed door between us. I'm hoping it will lessen in time and that my being with him 24/7 will cause him to chill..... that or he will soon be harness trained and come with me to take out the trash. My point is some breeds of cats... and some cats are just Velcro cats. They follow you from room to room. I say enjoy your Velcro kitty and let her be with you when you are home. * when I have to leave the house I put a extra plate of fishy wet food down, get him eating and sneak out.

I don't want to give her up but I also have my limits which is why I am looking for help. My health has declined in the last month or so because of the stress she's added to my life. Skin condition + chest pain.

I've scheduled a visit to a cat behavior specialist and another full wellness check with a vet as well as posting here.

I'm sorry if that is not good enough but I am doing my best.

danteshuman
Thank you, I will definitely try the dry food addition. She does like to graze on dry foods.

That's funny you should mention Siamese -- I was actually just thinking she could be part Siamese. She is lighter build than normal, very smart and shorter haired than the rest of my domestic shorthairs. Her coat is orange tabby though but I really feel like she could have some Siamese blood!

Please do not rehome her if you avoid it! Medicating her with Prozac would be better than rehoming her!

My beloved punk I figured out what he was by his meow, long tail, bone structure, light green/blue eyes & clingyness. My current kitten well you can tell by his light grey points what he is

My boy was rehomed for a week, back for a week while his new owner went on vacation, then back with his new owner for 10 days! Now wherever I take him he gets antsy (like are you leaving me here?!?) and for over a month would not let me out of his sight! That short of a time away from his foster mom/siblings was that traumatic for him! Since she is so deeply bonded to you, I hope you can work it out.

danteshuman
I'm not sure I could stand giving her away honestly. But I definitely need help improving the current sutuation.

One thing that gives me hope is I am moving apartments soon to a new one where she will have a completely closed off outdoors area to play in. She's a very curious smart kitten so sometimes I wonder if she's plain just bored despite the multiple play sessions. I hope she has more fun in a bigger place after the adjustment period.

(Is your boy's name Punk? :-)

She must have Siamese in her background, they are definitely very vocal and often have shrill, odd meows. They have very different personalities then other cats , can be demanding and not shy in making known what they need/want. They usually have a different feeling coat and have a different odor about them too.
That being said, she is still considered a kitten, and kittens, especially teenage ones, are exasperating to say the least. I would venture to say that once she gets well over a year old, she will become more mature and be more like a typical female, somewhat standoffish and diva like. My husband is always threatening to get a kitten when ours won't interact with him, kittens just want to be closer at all times and are much more loving until they grow up. That outdoor enclosure will definitely get rid of a lot of her pent up energy, my Siamese absolutely loved to be outdoors and often demanded to go out.
I take it she is spayed, if not, that should be done right away. You might try to distract her more, get a kickeroo on Amazon, they are terrific to distract cats when tossed towards them. Refresh it in a bag of catnip.
We sleep with three cats, they quickly learn to sleep all night, and all three sleep at the foot of the bed because we are restless sleepers and most likely wacked them when turning. It's comforting now. During the night they leave to sleep elsewhere often too. Heated pads for the cat beds entices them often.
I really think she just is too young and too full of energy right now, that will change in time. Just try to look at it positively, she loves you so very much and wants to be with you as much as possible, it's good to be so loved, look at her as a blessing!

di and bob
Ah, that gives me a lot of hope! You are right that she is still a very young cat. I will try to look at it more positively. Perhaps being the only caretaker for 4 cats and not having any cat people to talk about it/discuss/vent to took some toll on me. I already feel more optimistic after hearing some people's accounts. :-)

Oh yes, my 'siamese' was VERY vocal and demanding at times when he wanted something. He was worse than yours even, he had enough siamese in him to have the bright blue eyes, and was born white. He is in my avatar. He knocked things off of tables and was always the first to be taken to the enclosure outside to get peace and quiet! They need much stimulation, and because of all that energy, a lot of food. yours is just a baby, try to think of it like that, try not to dwell her demands, be the parent and be strong, and keep thinking, "this too, will pass" as millions of parents with teenagers do!

Maybe a Feliway diffuser and some Rescue Remedy in her food/water?

I agree with danteshuman about leaving out dry food during the day. It may improve her behavior. She's a growing kitten who needs plenty of food!

And she will most likely get less clingy naturally as she gets older.

(I speak as someone with two 10-month-old kittens myself, one of whom gets extremely needy and clingy when he's hungry.)

She might need more than 270 calories since she's still a kitten. The others have provided great advice! Goodluck.

I have a very talkative cat. It used to drive me crazy when he was a kitten, so I tried to change it (by ignoring it mostly) with no success. So I decided to change my attitude towards it :-) and I started talking back to him and having loooong conversations (I mostly used human words as I did not excel in meowing). It was actually fun. Now he's 1.5yo and "talks" much less these days, meaning he shuts up at times I truly learned to like his vocalization.

My other cat was super clingy, and I second what has already been said - once they get older, they don't need their human parents all the time. Sometimes I actually miss it :-)

Welcome to TCS, SadCad!!! You have received some great tips here and of them all, I rate best the leaving dry kibble out (I know that it will be a temptation for the older ones, though....one thing leads to another, as they say) AND having conversations with her, as recommended by ShesAWitch.
My adult disabled daughter wound up with several Siamese-mix cats and the first born, Morgan, was really causing a problem with all her vocalizations. Recently, when my daughter's health took a downturn, I was in the bedroom with them most of the time and Morgan's constant meowings, whinings and howlings were driving us CRAZY.
BUT THEN, taking my clues from TCS' own @Jcatbird who is most fluent in CatSpeak, I did as ShesAWitch did, and began initiating conversations with Morgan. The intimacy that developed was amazing! I would ask Morgan what she wanted and then began carefully noting where she looked plus tried to read her thoughts. I would explain to her basically everything that I and my daughter were doing: i.e. "Now she is taking her medications that her doctor told her to", "This is her Pedialyte - hear the ice cubes? do you want to sniff it? (offer a distant sniff), that sort of thing. And the vocalization has reduced drastically. Plus, I am able to more intuitively know what Morgan wants by learning to decipher her tones - I was rather proud of myself when she meowed and I immediately knew that the water dish was subpar (her brother Joe often drops kibble into the water dishes and Morgan hates that). I invite Morgan to watch me scoop the litterboxes; I carry her brother to the bathroom with me (my 89yo mom does not allow my daughter's cats out of the room; fortunately, it is a master bedroom upstairs & the largest room in the house).
And as crazy as it sounds, it really works. When I was a kid, a master horseman told me that cats and horses and smart cattle dogs can do interspecies communications and that I could speak to horses and the horses would know my thoughts. This horseman was legendary because when he was only 9 years old, he singlehandedly drove 29 head of horses from Fish Lake Valley, NV to the Owens Valley, CA via Montgomery Pass in the White Mountains.
Please keep us updated on what you are trying and what results that you are getting. Meezers are wonderful cats but the vocalizing and the mischievousness can be a challenge.