Had to have my cat euthanised :(

[mw086]

I had an eight year old ginger boy called Fred. He had a fantastic personality! I rescued him when he was a few weeks old, he was born of feral parents. I had another cat at the time who was five (she is still with me). I brought him to the vet last week as he was breathing funny (with his belly, laboured). He was cuddling, purring, eating and being his normal self otherwise. Bloods were fine. X-ray showed his diaphragm was gone and his organs had moved up into his lung space. Whilst that can be repaired with a very big operation, unfortunately the vet also noticed what looked like a large tumour on his chest wall which he could not have done anything about. The x-ray really took a lot out of Fred and he started gasping for air afterwards. I think he was more sick than we realised. The vet thought he had been hit in the belly by a car and that caused the injury, although he had no other physical injuries. A decision had to be made and I had to have him put to sleep. I have never had to have a pet put to sleep before. The vet was wonderful, so kind and explained to me what was invovled and what might happen and why. After the x-ray we put him back in his carrier on his blankets and the vet administered the drugs to put him to sleep. I spoke to him and rubbed him while he went off. I know there was nothing more we could do for him but I still wonder if I should have seen something earlier. As it happens, given the tumour, he was looking at being put to sleep anyway. I suppose you second guess yourself (we do it with humans too!). I know now though that it was the best thing for him but I miss my boy, the house is so quiet and I even miss the presents!! Heartbreaking.

 

[catapault]

Been there, done that. It was the best, the right thing to do. But it tears you apart. My condolences that this act of loving kindness was what brought you to The Cat Site. Everyone here will be offering their sympathy. Fred was a handsome boy who brought joy to your life. Remember the good times.

 

[Mia6]

I am so sorry about your darling Fred. He was sooo beautiful!! This is such a difficult time for you
but you will find so much support here. Still grieving over the death of my Kirsten is what brought
me here over 3 years ago.Fred is at the Bridge now with so many of our babies. I bet My Vincie
girl has already introduced herself as she always had her eye out for handsome men. Let the
tears flow if need be. somebody is always here to speak with.

Love,
Mia

 

[mw086]

Been there, done that. It was the best, the right thing to do. But it tears you apart. My condolences that this act of loving kindness was what brought you to The Cat Site. Everyone here will be offering their sympathy. Fred was a handsome boy who brought joy to your life. Remember the good times.

Thank you!

 

[mw086]

I am so sorry about your darling Fred. He was sooo beautiful!! This is such a difficult time for you
but you will find so much support here. Still grieving over the death of my Kirsten is what brought
me here over 3 years ago.Fred is at the Bridge now with so many of our babies. I bet My Vincie
girl has already introduced herself as she always had her eye out for handsome men. Let the
tears flow if need be. somebody is always here to speak with.

Love,
Mia

You've made me laugh out loud with the quote about your Vincie having an eye for handsome men!! Thank you. He was certainly a handsome boy.

 

[betsygee]

I'm so sorry. I know it's easier said than done but please try to not second-guess yourself too much. We tend to look back and beat ourselves up for not seeing signs sooner. But the signs aren't always there, and even if there were subtle changes, there isn't always anything that can be done for them.

My deepest condolences for your loss of Fred. Rest in peace, sweet little boy.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Fred, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

It is so human to second-guess ourselves. I have to tell you, in my opinion (for what that's worth), you did just right, and at the right time. You took him in when you noticed him having trouble, and you did not hesitate to do what was best for him. You did not allow him to get worse and worse, to decline and become miserable. You chose his well-being, at the cost of your own heartbreak. Now, from That Place Where All Things Are Known, he blesses you for that unselfish act, and send his love, translated and purified into Love, back to you. It will be with you forever, because Love abides. Always, Love abides.

 

[mw086]

I'm so sorry. I know it's easier said than done but please try to not second-guess yourself too much. We tend to look back and beat ourselves up for not seeing signs sooner. But the signs aren't always there, and even if there were subtle changes, there isn't always anything that can be done for them.

My deepest condolences for your loss of Fred. Rest in peace, sweet little boy.

Thank you!

 

[mw086]

Rest you gentle, Fred, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

It is so human to second-guess ourselves. I have to tell you, in my opinion (for what that's worth), you did just right, and at the right time. You took him in when you noticed him having trouble, and you did not hesitate to do what was best for him. You did not allow him to get worse and worse, to decline and become miserable. You chose his well-being, at the cost of your own heartbreak. Now, from That Place Where All Things Are Known, he blesses you for that unselfish act, and send his love, translated and purified into Love, back to you. It will be with you forever, because Love abides. Always, Love abides.

Thank you for your kind words!

 

[mw086]

Thank you to everyone for your love towards Fred and for helping me feel better about the decision I had to make. I still have Fred's sister here and she is marking in a circle around his grave when she goes out in the garden, I think she is trying to protect him or something like that!

 

[Mia6]

I think she is trying to protect him or something like that!

I bet you're right! How are you doing?

 

[mw086]

I bet you're right! How are you doing?

I'm doing okay thank you. I have had a human death since and another about to go so it's been a very emotional week!

I watched a TED talk yesterday which made me bawl my eyes out but really really helped - "The emotional costs of euthanasia | Sarah Hoggan DVM | TEDxTemecula"


It really helped give me peace about my decision.

 

[Mia6]

m doing okay thank you. I have had a human death since and another about to go so it's been a very emotional week!

I watched a TED talk yesterday which made me bawl my eyes out but really really helped - "The emotional costs of euthanasia | Sarah Hoggan DVM | TEDxTemecula"

Oh, I'm so sorry. Crying helps me. When my Vincie went to the bridge I was kind of in shock at first, gutted, but then
I cried and cried. She's been gone for a year on 26th of August. I have such beautiful memories of her, as you do
of darling Fred..

 

[Hoboforeternity]

i am sorry you have to go trough this. i was devastated with little sniper who only been with me for 2 weeks. it never goes away, but we live on, carry them in our memories, trough those they live again. remember the happy moments, the sad moments, everything you've gone trough together, in a way they live inside us.

 

[di and bob]

Your sweet boy showed signs of suffering, and the future promised more. You did what was right, what was compassionate, what all those who are loved deserve, an end to the suffering and the pain that will follow.
At times like these, it is good to listen to the vet, to one who has seen this so many times before, who knows what is to come. But the guilt still comes, the second-guessing, because that is a part of grieving. Because none of us are perfect. Guilt has intent to be real. Your only intent was to love that sweet boy, to get help, and in the end to relieve the suffering to come.
You gave him what he wanted the most in this world, a home and someone to love him. For eight years, a lifetime to a cat. We never want it to end, but there is always an end to every living soul, none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow. so go on with your life, seeking it's joys and happiness, like you would want for him if you were the first to go. He would want no less for someone he holds so dear. your love is spiritual, so eternal. He will be forever as close as your thoughts and prayers, he will live on now through your own love and memories, he is a part of your very soul. To be remembered and grieved over, to be loved after you are gone, is the last act of love that you can bestow. An honor. Do not make his death more important than his life. He had 8 years of life and loving, that is what is important now.
My heart goes out to you. I know how much this hurts, and how much it changes a world. You will never 'get over' it, you learn to build a new life with it. my thoughts and prayers are with you all, take care and give that sweet sister a kiss from me.......RIP dear Fred. You will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. may the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[daftcat75]

I'm doing okay thank you. I have had a human death since and another about to go so it's been a very emotional week!

I watched a TED talk yesterday which made me bawl my eyes out but really really helped - "The emotional costs of euthanasia | Sarah Hoggan DVM | TEDxTemecula"


It really helped give me peace about my decision.

Today is three weeks since I ran my Krista down to the vet for the very last time, unable to lift herself off the floor. She had been struggling with GI lymphoma for most of this year (IBD and tooth issues for two years before that.) We had just achieved a remission a few weeks prior to this. For the first time in years, she had strung several weeks together without vomiting. Her last poops on this Earth were perfect. But she had lost too much weight trying to get to remission. The daily steroids to get her there had weakened her too much. She contracted a bladder infection that proved too much for her. I thought she might have one more fight left in her when I asked her to be connected to IV fluids and injectable antibiotic. She died alone in her cage several hours after I dropped her off. I think about what she must have been thinking and feeling those last few hours in that cage. The guilt I have over imagined thoughts of betrayal and abandonment. But then I also believe that she mustered up just enough fight to go into that cage knowing that it would be the only way I'd let her go.

As di and bob wrote, "do not make his death more important than his life." Krista's and Fred's deaths were only a moment in their beautiful, love-filled lives. Death itself is meaningless. But if you can find meaning in their lives, that life you shared with him, that will help transform the grief into something more manageable.

That video made me bawl. I certainly needed that release. Thanks for sharing it.

 

[EGrunt]

It has been less then 24 hours since I had to make the painful decision to let my buddy Mojo move onto the after life. I am sorry for your loss. For me it is helping talking about my Mojo on my thread and posting pictures. The responses I have received have helped but the grief is so strong. I was so devastated that my wonderful wife took Mojo on his last ride to the vet yesterday. God bless her because I did not have the strength to do it. I knew it was the right thing to do but I still struggled with the decision. Just the day earlier (9/2/20) the vet had a plan to get him to start eating and to give him antibiotics for an infection in his mouth for a tooth extraction that took place at the beginning of August. Then we would address the lack of mobility of his rear legs. So the priority was to get Mojo eating and fight the infection and address the lack of mobility with the rear legs. Less then 24 hours later on 9/3/20 Mojo was going down hill very fast, he could not stand at all at just laid on the carpet. I made him comfortable on a blanket next to me. Even though he was breathing he did not react to me calling his name, he would not lift his head, and he had a black stare in his eyes. How did this happen so fast.

I know deep down inside I did the right thing but I still am thinking along with my wife what could we have done to prevent this. While easier said then done, I am watching a slide show of Mojo of pictures we had taken of him over the years.

Thank you for the video you attached, it helped but made me cry.

 

[Hoboforeternity]

It has been less then 24 hours since I had to make the painful decision to let my buddy Mojo move onto the after life. I am sorry for your loss. For me it is helping talking about my Mojo on my thread and posting pictures. The responses I have received have helped but the grief is so strong. I was so devastated that my wonderful wife took Mojo on his last ride to the vet yesterday. God bless her because I did not have the strength to do it. I knew it was the right thing to do but I still struggled with the decision. Just the day earlier (9/2/20) the vet had a plan to get him to start eating and to give him antibiotics for an infection in his mouth for a tooth extraction that took place at the beginning of August. Then we would address the lack of mobility of his rear legs. So the priority was to get Mojo eating and fight the infection and address the lack of mobility with the rear legs. Less then 24 hours later on 9/3/20 Mojo was going down hill very fast, he could not stand at all at just laid on the carpet. I made him comfortable on a blanket next to me. Even though he was breathing he did not react to me calling his name, he would not lift his head, and he had a black stare in his eyes. How did this happen so fast.

I know deep down inside I did the right thing but I still am thinking along with my wife what could we have done to prevent this. While easier said then done, I am watching a slide show of Mojo of pictures we had taken of him over the years.

Thank you for the video you attached, it helped but made me cry.

I am sorry for your loss.

 

[klunick]

I am still feeling the guilt over putting down our male in February and our female in May. Both were 16. In my heart, I know I did the right thing but in my mind, I keep going over something I could have done to prevent it. Should have taken them to the vet sooner. Should have noticed the signs sooner. But I know I can't beat myself over it and neither should you. You did the best you could with the situation as it played out. Please know that most of us on here have gone through the same journey you are going through now. It is painful but it does get better.

 

[mw086]

I'm so sorry. I know it's easier said than done but please try to not second-guess yourself too much. We tend to look back and beat ourselves up for not seeing signs sooner. But the signs aren't always there, and even if there were subtle changes, there isn't always anything that can be done for them.

My deepest condolences for your loss of Fred. Rest in peace, sweet little boy.

Thank you