I Adopted Neighbours Cat After They Moved Out, But She Won't Accept Me.

[Patrick Turner]

Hi all, I adopted my neighbours cat when they moved out, because she had included my house and yards as part of her territory. But she was not friendly, hissed and growled if I ever tried to pick her up, gently. A month has gone by, and new neighbours have moved in, and they don't really want her around and the cat has figured out they are not the same ppl, so she seems depressed, but I feed her, but she won't come inside and be happy, even on these cold winter nights. So I think she has strong imprinting on her mind of home and can't accept me. She's about 6, and in good health, desexed, and sleeps most of the day but roams at night, unlike all the other cats I have had, who were very glad to be in my place away from the dark and possible cat fights. Maybe she's turning wild, and has the attitude of "F**k you all" and she's not able to be friendly, and is a bit depressed. We get 100 frosts here. She did wail a bit at the next door when new ppl came next door, but then gave up on that idea; they won't feed her, anyway, I guess I can afford to take care of her as much as she will allow, but I give her first prize for being an anti social snob. A bit neurotic. Gets real upset when another cat comes close to eat her food. I've chased that one away. Made little difference, she's not much of a fighter.
I brought her inside a couple of times, just wanted to get out, wailed and carried on, climbed up everything to try to escape, so OK, I let her out, fine, you stay out if that's what ya want. Sort of like a waif who does not know how to fit in to changed circumstances.
I'm an older man who reads ppl and animals fairly well, and last cat I had stayed 12 years after she adopted me because another neighbour had 3 cats, one was a very pugnatious thing, had lost one front leg as a result of fights. Then the lady got a little dog. Oh boy, that was the last straw, and she hated being picked up by that neighbour who, after 3 years came over with "would you like to adopt Cloe" and then I agreed and everyone was happy.
That cat was quite a companion, and liked Mozart when I put on a CD.
Anyway, any hints about this new cat I have?

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Thanks for taking on the care of your neighbour's cat after they've moved away.

We've had many success stories of feral cats who are brought inside and transition to complete indoor cats. So it's not impossible to make her inside only.

Here's a few TCS articles with more info that might be helpful.

The Five Golden Rules To Bringing An Outdoor Cat Inside
How To Make Your Home Bigger (at Least For Your Cats) | TheCatSite
How To Prevent Your Cat From Darting Out The Door | TheCatSite

14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me | TheCatSite

 

[ailish]

I would continue what you are doing and see what happens. She obviously wants her old owners back and has to get used to new circumstances. What was she like before they moved? It sounds like she was outdoors much of the time, since she had a "territory." Maybe this is just her way and she really is mostly feral.

 

[Patrick Turner]

I would continue what you are doing and see what happens. She obviously wants her old owners back and has to get used to new circumstances. What was she like before they moved? It sounds like she was outdoors much of the time, since she had a "territory." Maybe this is just her way and she really is mostly feral.

This cat was a kitten given to one of the 2 girls in this family next door when they were all younger and lived together. But the girl with cat grew up, and was determined to leave home as girls do, to pursue the usual freedoms of having no mum or dad around, and being able to socialise with young men fully, and she was good looking enough to do that. But her landlord would not let her have a pet, a common rule here, so cat was left behind. Once that girl left, I didn't see her often. But the other two kids were very slow to move out because they just had less ability for social success. Years went by, the father got lung cancer and died, the mother had no choice but to move out because there was a huge mortgage to repaid on the house and for extensions they'd done.
So off she went to live with her son in a small flat, and no room for cat, and really, nobody wanted her and fact is such cats can easily find them selves taken to RSPCA and put down. Well, she used to come around to visit me often, but kept her distance, and more so than many cats. I've got cancer myself, and live alone, so I don't mind having a cat around. Maybe when weather warms up the cat's attitude will thaw out a bit. I still can't pick her up, she'll growl and hiss. So, she's decided to tough it out. I'm doing that too, so we do have something in common. All the cats I've had in past were free to be outside if they wanted, but all liked being inside at night especially in winter, keeping a cat locked inside is to me a denial of freedom. There is not a lot of wildlife that my cats have ever killed, virtually never, except rats and mice, occasionally. I'll just have to wait and see to what time does with her. Keep well,
Patrick Turner.

 

[rubysmama]

Sounds like your neighbours had a lot of issues, but it was still irresponsible of them to just leave their cat behind. I'm glad she has you to feed her, and care about her. Maybe once she realizes you are her "family" now, she'll become more trusting and affectionate. Keep us updated on her progress. Take care of yourself too.

 

[Patrick Turner]

Sounds like your neighbours had a lot of issues, but it was still irresponsible of them to just leave their cat behind. I'm glad she has you to feed her, and care about her. Maybe once she realizes you are her "family" now, she'll become more trusting and affectionate. Keep us updated on her progress. Take care of yourself too.

The nights have been bitterly cold here. But this morning this cat wanted to come inside and spend some time in the sun coming through the windows on sunny side of house. And she wasn't hissing and growling. So I think because I kept being gentle and feeding her regularly, she's realizing that being in my house is maybe OK. Its a good sign, and I left a back door open to let her come and go because I don't want to have her feel trapped.
The neighbours did not just abandon her; they asked the people on the other side of her house to take her but they liked the birdlife and they offer food to attract them, and a cat would frighten them off. I get some bird life, but don't have much of a garden or habitat for them so they just visit sometimes, and in years long ago another cat I had never caught a bird, but was a good rat+mouse catcher around my work shed. Then my neighbour asked me and I said yes because I could see this cat would have trouble adapting to total change, and the grounds around my place had become part her territory. It was worth a try to allow an animal to "see me out" over the next few years.
So maybe things will be OK. I read about about spending quality time with an animal and just being there, a few minutes a day, and this builds some trust, and animals have their own speed to accept anyone as their companion. Animals are like us, they crave someone to just be there, and humans can be better than other animals. I hope things work out, maybe today is a good step forward, and this cat pulls out of her gloom an anger about the incomprehensible loss of her former owners. Animals are bright, but not as logical or perceptive as us, but they have some superior abilities than we do, smell, hearing, night sight, and they have emotions that surely trouble them as our emotions trouble us.
Thanks for replying to me, all the best,
Patrick Turner.

 

[Suru]

It makes me happy to read this thread, this is the beginning of a beautiful story, I hope the cat (I think i may have missed it, but what's her name?) and you will spend some wonderful years together.

 

[Patrick Turner]

It makes me happy to read this thread, this is the beginning of a beautiful story, I hope the cat (I think i may have missed it, but what's her name?) and you will spend some wonderful years together.

Name is Storm. She's a plain grey cat with short hair, probably thickening up for the winter. I hope for the best for Storm and I for my last few years. I have other interests to occupy my mind but a cat can be part of that. I could not have a dog unless I spent a lot more of fencing, and arthritis prevents me walking very far, and if I could not walk a lot with a dog, the dog suffers; they need to be given walks, and able to run about on ovals and experience freedom. Cats are often quite happy with a short daily walk alone around their territory, and that includes over my roof, and in winter they tend to sleep a lot.
Thanks for your concern, and all the best,
Patrick Turner.

 

[rubysmama]

Sorry I misunderstood about Storm's former family. I think leaving her under your care will be win-win for both you and Storm. Already she's making baby steps in realizing your place is home.

She sounds beautiful. If you have a pic you can post, I'd love to see her.
How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post | TheCatSite

 

[Patrick Turner]

Sorry I misunderstood about Storm's former family. I think leaving her under your care will be win-win for both you and Storm. Already she's making baby steps in realizing your place is home.

She sounds beautiful. If you have a pic you can post, I'd love to see her.
How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post | TheCatSite

I don't have a mobile phone so its more difficult to photograph anything here. I like the internet, but I learnt that having a smart phone, hanging out at FarceBook or Twatter was never going to make my social life any better because ppl fear one to one conversations. I have never had any reason to fear the Internet and am here under my own real world name. Its OK. I have nothing worth stealing, and nobody wanted to date me because I'm too old, and I had obnoxious habits, like keeping fit, eating right, not boozing, smoking, and being mainly vegetarian, and riding a bicycle, and owning an old car, and not having a mobile phone.

But

I saw here a picture ​

posted of a grey cat that was about identical to my Storm. She's got a long way to go. This morning, after a night at -4C, she has comeback from her nightly roam, and was fast asleep at 7:30 am, and would not be roused. Food I'd left for her had gone, and I have no idea whether she ate it or some other cat did while she was cruising to goodness knows where to eat other cat food left outside. I don't bother having a GPS tracker attached to her collar. But she does have a small bell to warn birds.
I watched a TV show here which did plot the roaming paths cats made at night and it was remarkable how far some went, every night, and often into houses where there was a cat-flap door and they'd eat whatever they could find, then leave, all without being noticed by an owner at 2 am, or even a sleeping stay-inside-at-night-cat.
About 20 years ago, a new comer lady across the street brought a cat with her which immediately felt right at home. It was by far The Most Fiesty Ginger feline I ever witnessed, and my cat at the time had fended off every other cat that dared to put one paw over the borderline. But in summer, this MFG would slide open the flyscreen door at patio, I'd here it padding across the floor, then the rustle of a kitchen rubbish bag where I'd put chicken bones the night before. After chewing up what I could not, out it went, leaving a little mess, but of course it had bad manners and didn't close the screen door on way out. My cat Fuddles was asleep on far side of the giant water bed I had back then and never woke. Anyway, inevitably MFG met Fuddles one day outside and there was a long tedious yowling match with MFG landing a few scratches and that was the first time Fuddles was defeated by anyone or anything, so she became deeply depressed for a week, and it took a week to get her eating again and would only go outside if I sat by the open door. Sometimes she'd be inside, watching the patio area through the tall glass windows and door, and she'd be growling beating the glass as MFG strode slowly past to taunt her with the message, "FU2".
I've seen Storm lose a confrontation with another intruder Black and White Terror cat which stole her food, right in front of her. Storm was pissed off for 3 days. So I think she's worked out its better to be a sneaky cat, not brazen, and use cover of early evening to prowl when she'd pick up smell of dinner left out by other owners. Her bed is high up on a pile of boxes that gets afternoon sun. So its her high ground defense.
The TV show about roaming showed that cats mostly avoided each other by varying their roaming route and times. Having a real fight could be deadly, from infections to wounds, as well as to feline pride.
And one day long ago MFG was in pool area and Fuddles was inside with me, and some other cat had dared to confront MFG, and so MFG went for it, and the intruder retreated at speed of light which included a short cut across the water where its paw strokes were so fast it did not get wet. Then the two went up over fences, through a dense hedge and I watched MFG chase the intruder for about 300metres until I lost sight. The trouble with mammals is that they really hate sharing any territory unless the "other" individual is related. Territorial anger defends the favouring of one's own genes, and as the world shrinks with more ppl we see the rise of political movements to halt all forms of immigration. Much of our behaviour is illustrated by animals. The local domestic cats mostly get fed well enough to hang out at one human's home, and maybe at another home nearby on a par time basis and territory domination does not lead to more food as it does in the wild cat population which exists in Oz where cats have to be extremely smart to survive. But the domestic cats have uncontrollable instincts and urges, so like so many humans I have seen come and go, despite having enough of everything.
Keep well, Patrick Turner.

 

[Suru]

What if you left the food inside? maybe near where she sleeps so she can reach it comfortably

 

[daftcat75]

Cats generally don’t like to be picked up. They will choose out a lap to occupy but leaving their feet not of their will, past kittenhood, is usually a prelude to being eaten.

Keep doing what you’re doing. Feed her. Spend time in the same room with her. You may even tempt her into play with a laser pointer or a shoelace. But beyond that, let her choose the pace of acceptance. If you were upended to a new home, how fast do you think you’d take to your new keeper’s affections? Keep leaving the door open for her. She’ll accept the old family is no longer there and you are her new home. But give her the time and space to do that. An open door is perfect for this. And kudos to you for taking her in when she ran out of options.

 

[Patrick Turner]

Cats generally don’t like to be picked up. They will choose out a lap to occupy but leaving their feet not of their will, past kittenhood, is usually a prelude to being eaten.

Keep doing what you’re doing. Feed her. Spend time in the same room with her. You may even tempt her into play with a laser pointer or a shoelace. But beyond that, let her choose the pace of acceptance. If you were upended to a new home, how fast do you think you’d take to your new keeper’s affections? Keep leaving the door open for her. She’ll accept the old family is no longer there and you are her new home. But give her the time and space to do that. An open door is perfect for this. And kudos to you for taking her in when she ran out of options.

Yes, its all slowly happening. Last night, to escape the -4C she hopped into my car because I left a window down. I went to lunch without noticing her, and I stopped at end of driveway, and there's a "MEOWWWW" = "where the hell are you taking me?" I stopped, carried her inside, and sure, she seemed bewildered. But then I offered a can of fish food, and she went for that in a big way, better than the dried pellet food the previous owner fed her.
I left her alone a bit, she sat about awhile, not wanting to escape, and then asked me to open the door, and off she went.
I went out for 3 hours, and she's hungry again and came in and I gave her more, she stayed longer, seemed far less hostile, so things are going well. I've left the car window down. She can come into house when she wants to she'll call out when she wants to. So far, so good.
My dad was a vet. as a 10yo I helped him do operations de-sexing cats in school holidays. I had 2 sisters and we always had 2-3 cats around, ducks, chooks and even a house cow in 1950s. My father used to pick up cats by skin at rear of neck, like a mother cat caries her young, until they can follow her on foot. Once lifted the cat becomes sort of immobilised, and safe to handle. Cats did not always like being at my dads vet surgery! Some could be downright dangerous. I never picked up my cats that way. They all grew to like being picked up, especially at 5pm and I'd carry one from workshop to inside, where there was FOOD. I'd have a hand under their rear legs, and they'd hang on, and they got to know I'd never hurt them, but assist them if they were stuck somewhere.
I once drove 300km from Canberra to Sydney and back with 2 cats I had in 1979 and they didn't need to be in a cage, and one time a cop pulled me over for a broken tail light and I was very polite to the man, then two cat faces peered out above my shoulder to meow a hello. Cop didn't book me. Off I went, cats just curled up to sleep their way along the journey. Was the cop thinking ( well go enjoy your pussies ?) I'll never know. At that time I was working a lot on my house, and those two would follow me up the ladder and hang about to supervise what I was doing with the roof tiles.
But one of them just left one day. I don't know where he went. The other stayed another 6 years until some sickness and chronic teeth problems overwhelmed her. She never protested, but just found a cool drain big drain pipe to lie down and die. I looked down the day after she was gone, and there she was, removed the slab over the drain, and buried her in my yard. If there are cat spirits, then they'd have rested in peace and hopefully not been jealous of cats who followed them to stay with me. Last one stayed 12 years, was 18 when she passed, with probable kidney failure or some incurable problem and at the vet where I took her said I'd timed it right, she'd suffer a bad couple of weeks, and as she relaxed in my hands as the anaesthetic eased her peacefully, I just cracked right up, and I admitted, "ya know doc, she's been more faithful than any shiela I ever knew". It was true. I held a wake at midnight, and I drank milk to celebrate her life. Then I cremated her and buried her ashes next day at the front of my house. Now when alive, she was black, with white face, so looked like a nun, and I reckon if there is re-incarnation then maybe in a past life she'd been a nun, and a naughty one, who had had it off with young priests who visited the convent to bless all the nuns, say mass, etc. Anyway, Fuddles and I got along very well. Storm looks like being a bit more easily freaked out. I think that will change though.
May you all enjoy your cats, and they enjoy you,
Patrick Turner.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

So I think because I kept being gentle and feeding her regularly, she's realizing that being in my house is maybe OK. Its a good sign, and I left a back door open to let her come and go because I don't want to have her feel trapped.

~ Wow - that's great. It usually takes months for a strange cat to relax . Obviously you are doing things correct . Congratulations !

​

 

[Patrick Turner]

~ Wow - that's great. It usually takes months for a strange cat to relax . Obviously you are doing things correct . Congratulations !

​

Well Storm has known me a few years, because she would include my yards as her territory, so we met often in my drive way and said helo, and in summer I put a nice bowl of clean water for her to drink, which she preferred to the swimming pool water that has chemicals and bad taste. It was surprising how much she drank. I didn't feed her though, and I did let her inside a few times and she went around inspecting all rooms, then wanted to go out again, nose in the air, "No, youse ain't mine" and she hated me touching her. There were places around my pool with cool pavers, and a breeze, so she'd linger on hot days, so we knew each other but I had not yet earned any right to be one of her subjects.
That is all starting to change.
The previous cat I had came from next door on other side of my house many years ago and she ignored me awhile, but one winter's day looked into my shed where I had a heater under bench, and it was all over. In days she demanded to come inside house and I'd giver her a drink of milk which she slurped down with gusto. Then she'd here her owner call her and out shed rush to her dinner. But I watched through bushes one day and she didn't like him picking her up. Then she began coming back to me. Spend all night, away from 2 other cats, one real fighty, with a front leg missing after a fight. Owners got a little terrier dog, and that was the Last Straw. I dunno why they got that dog. Its ear piercing bark at night could last a long time, so they got its "debarked" where some operation made it kind of hiss instead of bark. They didn't have that pet very long. I've lived since 1976 in my house, and some houses around me have had up to 7 different renters or owners, and so there must have been a fair number of upset dogs and cats. one neighbor had a neurotic habit of needing a black dog in his back yard. He had two over the years, both suffered by being ignored by the family and never taken for walks. Dogs should never live in isolation, its cruel to keep a dog like that. Dogs like to be in a pack. Cats can handle being alone fine, they exist in the wild with long periods alone. Females advertise for males when hormones make her smell irresistible, kittens follow, dad is absent, and often scared by fights with other males for fatherhood rights. Love hurts, no?
Look, if I could teach Storm to type, it'd probably save a lot of my time :-)
Patrick Turner.

 

[rubysmama]

Look, if I could teach Storm to type, it'd probably save a lot of my time :-)

 

[Patrick Turner]

And if I could teach Storm to speak, even better. But most things she does now are kind of catsense, like a human who has common sense, while considering the situation holistically, of if you like holisticatly.
Try to have a nice day, always somewhat more difficult as we get older.....
Patrick Turner.

 

[rubysmama]

Try to have a nice day, always somewhat more difficult as we get older.....

True, however ...

 

[Patrick Turner]

Not all of us can have an older time to live gracefully into very old.
Many perish due to ailments but I find wonderments as I fade down from what I was.
Ashley Barty, an Australian, might win the French One tonight, WOW, what a gal!!!!!!!!!!!
Meanwhile Storm is telling me just what food she likes......
Patrick Turner.

 

[rubysmama]

Meanwhile Storm is telling me just what food she likes......

Sounds like Storm's doing well training you.