Dog Person Trying To Decipher Cat Language Haha!

[mChes]

Like the title says, I'm a bit more of a dog person since I've had my dog for about 15 years now and haven't had any experience with owning a cat. But, my heart called and I ended up adopting a 5-6 month old semi feral kitten a little over month ago.
He's made incredible improvements since I've had him, but there are just a few things I wanted to try to clear up so I'm not frustrated with myself and the situation.

I've bought cat trees for him to climb all over and keep out of reach of the dog, but he still much prefers under the couch instead. If he's ever on the cat tree or even on the top edge of the couch, he'll jump out/down to bolt under the couch if anything scares him (i.e vacuum). It's not a huge deal since he comes out pretty much immediately after, but I found it strange that he didn't prefer the height. I have a yappy little 15 year old terrier and know that he's safer up since she can (barely) shimmy her way under the couch if she really wanted to chase, but he hasn't seemed to grasp that yet.

About a week ago, he actually walked up to me for some pets, but he hasn't again since. Occasionally, when he doesn't sprint under the couch when I walk by him, I'll reach a loose fist out to test whether he wants to be touched or not. Sometimes he'll sniff and walk away, other times he'll smack my hand and walk away. Not sure if that's a sign that he just wants to play, or if he's like "excuse me, rude." I'm sure I can expect more of this behavior for a while (especially since he's been a stray until animal control found him), but the "love me, wait no go away" attitude confuses me a bit hahaha. Gotta take it slow, right?

Also, would the cat ever get jealous?? I know he sees me baby-talking to my dog all the time and giving her a lot of love and kisses. I wasn't sure if that would affect his perspective of me hahaha!

 

[Draco]

Some cats are bush dwellers not tree dwellers, some prefer low and not high. Seems like your guy prefers low.

Thanks for taking in the feral, sounds like you're doing a great job with him! Do you have wand toys (With strings attached to it) to play with him? That will make the bonding experience stronger and encourage him to stay out longer from the couch. it'll take time though!

I am not sure if cats feel jealousy. Sometimes mine would hiss at another cat if she's cuddling with me, but not sure if its jealousy, or they are defending their territory (me).

 

[rubysmama]

Congrats on becoming a first-time cat "parent".

You did make things a bit complicated for yourself, though, by adopting a semi feral, rather than a fully domesticated one. But it does sound like things are going well.

Regarding cat jealousy, TCS just happens to have an article called Do Cats Get Jealous? (and What To Do About It When They Do) which may be helpful.

Even though they've already met, I'll also post links to our articles on cats and dogs:
Caring For Cats And Dogs
Introducing Cats To Dogs
How To Safely Introduce A Cat And A Dog

And a few more random ones:
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me
Your Cat Probably Hates It When You...
How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding?

There's tons more articles here: Articles | TheCatSite

 

[di and bob]

He prefers being under the couch because it is enveloping him, is dark, and doesn't allow him to be exposed to danger. He has been through a lot, And a month is nothing when compared to what he has gone through. Number one rule....CATS HATE CHANGE. They are very routine oriented. They love just as fiercely as any dog, but it takes time and work to gain their trust and their devotion, but really, it is more sweeter when it is earned. A cat is not driven to change their behavior through physical punishment like a dog is, it just makes them afraid and timid. Dogs are driven by the need to fit into the 'pack' and to please the leader. Cats are more independent and almost regal in nature, they are much more in tune with their 'wild' side. Never stare into a cat's eyes, that is a threat. If you have ever watched big feral toms when they meet, you will see them turn their head, and move in slow motion. Slow movements and talking in a low soothing voice will calm and reassure your kitten everything is alright. A month is not long at all in a cat's world. Especially a young, scared to death kitten, that has been through so much and now is trying to get used to a new environment with a barking scary dog and a huge human approaching and trying to touch him. Friend or foe? He wants so much to trust and love you, so accepts your presence and offerings of touch, but is still so scared and unsure he doesn't know if he should, so walks away as a way of protecting himself in case you turn scary or he bats at you as a warning and to tell you he is still scared and unsure but wants to know you. Be assured, if he was truly feral or truly scared enough to act wild, he would attack and give deep scratches and bites. Try not to let the dog chase him, he needs to build his confidence and the dog is easier to control right now. They will get friendlier in time, time is what they need. He needs to be neutered as soon as possible if he isn't already, toms almost always start spraying and develop undesirable habits as they mature. Give him lots of attention, try to approach him on his terms and let him know you can be a friend and give good treats, he will come around.
Everything you describe sounds perfectly normal with a new kitten, welcome to a cat's world, I'm sure you will find it well worth it, and don't hesitate to ask questions. Between all of us, there is hundreds of years of experience here, and we will do our best to help you! Welcome to the Cat Site!

 

[Kieka]

It sounds like he is doing good. To echo the others, some cats prefer small and low to wide and open. It could be a preference that changes as he gets older and more confident. It could be that he will always retreat to the couch. My girl's safety zone has always been under the dining room table when she is startled. We call it her thinking spot because she will dart there and then sit and stare for a while deciding what to do next. Over the years, she has come to go to my room (specifically under my bed) when she is really shaken but the dining room table is usually where she will run to first and move to my room if whatever isn't better under the table. On the other hand, my Mom's cat will get as high as possible when he is upset. Which has lead to many problems at the vet because he winds up onto of items he should not be able to reach but somehow does.

As long as he isn't using claws, I'd continue to take his batting as a gentle "not right now". If he starts using claws then you need to act really hurt so he knows that it isn't right. Not punish him, because cats don't get punishment, but they are receptive to the reactions their actions get. If you act overly hurt and ignore him he knows it was wrong and should learn that no claws is the thing to do.

My girl has done the love me, go away thing since we got her. It has become more love me over the past three years. But she was feral and I have always taken it as she gets startled and that survival instinct kicks in of run first and ask questions later. Once she gets over the startle moments her thinking kicks back in and it is love me again. I remember that the first year or two we couldn't even walk up to her without her darting away, now you can see her shy away slightly then hold for a petting. It will get better but remember that he is warring with the instincts that kept him alive so give him time.

 

[duncanmac]

A quote with random snippage:

It sounds like he is doing good. To echo the others, some cats prefer small and low to wide and open. It could be a preference that changes as he gets older and more confident. It could be that he will always retreat to the couch. My girl's safety zone has always been under the dining room table when she is startled.

Our sort-of-feral guy does the same thing - under the kitchen table or under our bed when he is a little nervous (or under the bed when he is playful). Sprinkle a couple of boxes around - I turn them upside-down or cut a door in them (some people suggest two doors.)

As long as he isn't using claws, I'd continue to take his batting as a gentle "not right now".

Cats are subtle, at first. When he bats you away, just stop petting him and he will get the idea that he is training you to stop when he wants and he will tolerate you a little more.

My girl has done the love me, go away thing since we got her. It has become more love me over the past three years. But she was feral and I have always taken it as she gets startled and that survival instinct kicks in of run first and ask questions later. Once she gets over the startle moments her thinking kicks back in and it is love me again. I remember that the first year or two we couldn't even walk up to her without her darting away, now you can see her shy away slightly then hold for a petting. It will get better but remember that he is warring with the instincts that kept him alive so give him time.

Again, my feral does something similar - he will often get up and move about two feet away when being pet and then lay back down. Sort of like he likes me, but no petting. He still flinches and darts away if I come in from over the top of his head unexpectedly. It is great though once he decides to "let go" then he is all for it and a real love bug.

Things with cats as I am finding out are always on their timeline. With a feral, you are doing quite good - talk to him all the time, play with him a lot to build his confidence and feed him treats. He might never be a lap cat, but he will come around once he is comfortable and confident.

 

[Etarre]

Many years ago, I thought I was a dog person for life, but when I moved to a big city and became an apartment dweller, I didn't feel right adopting a dog (didn't have the space of time needed), it became obvious that I was going to have to change allegiances! I knew nothing about cats when I brought home my little gray and white kitten, but the foster mother who turned her over to me told me not to worry too much, and that she would train me. That turned out to be absolutely true, and we had a long and precious 15+ years together. My second cat is now retraining me. So good luck with the transition, and know that it is possible. All the love and care that you have learned from your dogs will also benefit your relationship with your cat. Your decision to adopt a feral (not the easiest route) and the progress you've already made with him are a wonderful foundation for your relationship.

 

[mChes]

Oh gosh, all these replies! Thank you for taking the time to respond!

Haki, my cat, definitely has come a long way since I saw him in the animal control shelter. He started out hiding behind the toilet for about a week, but a month later, he's usually out and about now. It SEEMS like his confidence is going up, but I'm not entirely sure because he's still pretty skittish if I move too fast or even towards him. He usually runs under the couch, then peek out about 15 seconds later. Occasionally he'll come up on the couch and sit on the other side of me or he'll be rolling around with his toy on the floor, and he's found a new interest of sitting on my laptop while I'm working. He's even started visiting my bedroom at the crack of dawn to roll around in my clothes even though my dog may be sleeping just a few feet away from where he is. He actually hopped up on my bed one time and pounced my sleeping boyfriend's leg before sprinting off like a child that just pulled a ding-dong-ditch. There were times he's snuck over to where I'm sitting to bat at my toes or elbow too, so I'm guessing he's trying to play? I do have a wand toy that I play with from time to time, but I usually have to time it right since my dog much prefers to be in my company if she's not sleeping in my closet
I think his confidence is going in the right direction, but I'm not sure what more I can do for him. Especially with my dog. I'm afraid she's a little too old (15 years) and a bit of an idiot (attention span comparable to a goldfish) to be properly trained now. He did get very good at taking advantage of my dog's poor eye sight and started maneuvering around her blind spots when she wanders in to the living room, so she rarely notices him at all now. I wouldn't want to have them live "separately," but if that's all I can do, I guess that's what it'll be. Just makes me a little sad that he might be stuck just running under the couch every time the dog comes out.

A semi feral was definitely not the easiest route!! But, I think I got lucky with his sweet and quiet personality since he has yet to actually try to cause harm out of fear or agitation. All of his little smacks and nibbles were mostly out of play or while petting. I took him to a post-adoption vet check up, and he pressed himself right up against me the entire time and purred up a storm when I pet him. No hissing or scratching during the entire check up either!

Definitely glad to know that I'm not doing anything "wrong" as of yet! As someone who's had a dog for about 15 years now, making that transition from "I'm the leader" to a follower is a bit mind boggling . A month feels like *forever* to me, but I guess instincts run deeper than the concept of time!

 

[Furballsmom]

I just read your last post, and oh my goodness, you and your new furbaby are doing so fantastically well!!! WOW

Just keep doing what you're doing, maybe a little more play time but even there it sounds like he's figured out how to come to you (batting your elbow). He'll eventually figure out the dog 100% as well, I'll bet it won't be too much longer and there will be less darting under the couch.

making that transition from "I'm the leader" to a follower is a bit mind boggling

You're already miles ahead of the game LOL

 

[duncanmac]

Definitely glad to know that I'm not doing anything "wrong" as of yet! As someone who's had a dog for about 15 years now, making that transition from "I'm the leader" to a follower is a bit mind boggling .

There is very little you can do "wrong" - cats seem to be incredibly resilient but they are creatures of habit so watch out for that.

Leader vs. Follower: It is more like a loose confederation of independent states. You act, react and generally try to get along and keep the chaos at bay.

 

[Furballsmom]

LOL

 

[mChes]

Update with another question.

I've started trying to entice him with some boiled chicken breast and having him eat out of my hand. Usually he'll eat out of my hand without issues, but sometimes he'll randomly "attack" my hand. It looks very similar to him batting at his toys, but he ends up cutting me with his claws. Right now I have a cut on the palm of my hand that drew a bit of blood. I just say "ow" loudly enough and walk away.
There's no hissing, no flat ears, no tail flicking, no warning that I can see.

Is there an explanation for his batting behavior when I'm just giving him treats from my hand?

 

[rubysmama]

Since he is semi-feral, and batting (and cutting) your hands with his claws, I would refrain from feeding him out of your hand. Your description does sound like how a cat bats at a toy, or how a feral would handle its prey. It doesn't seem as though he is intentionally hurting you, but if his claws need to be clipped, and are very sharp, it won't take much to break the skin.

Not trying to scare you, but please be aware that cat bites and scratches can quickly become infected, so watch any scratches that break the skin, and seek medical attention if you suspect infection.

The link below is about bites, but the infection part applies to scratches too:
Cat Bites - What Every Cat Owner Needs To Know

If you are able to hold him, here's another article, this one on How To Best Take Care Of Cat Claws

 

[Tobermory]

Update with another question.

I've started trying to entice him with some boiled chicken breast and having him eat out of my hand. Usually he'll eat out of my hand without issues, but sometimes he'll randomly "attack" my hand. It looks very similar to him batting at his toys, but he ends up cutting me with his claws. Right now I have a cut on the palm of my hand that drew a bit of blood. I just say "ow" loudly enough and walk away.
There's no hissing, no flat ears, no tail flicking, no warning that I can see.

Is there an explanation for his batting behavior when I'm just giving him treats from my hand?

I’ve had this same experience with my semi feral adoptee, Mocha. She’s three-ish years old and I’ve had her about five months. She has taken a treat from my fingers twice, but she clearly didn’t like it and doesn’t intend to do it again. My take on the batting with the pointy bits involved is that she really wants me to put down the treat and let her manage it herself. And after getting grazed a couple of times, that’s what I do now. She seems satisfied that she has finally trained me on how I’m expected to behave in this matter.

 

[mChes]

Okay, so I've stopped trying to give him treats out of my hand. Mainly because I'm scared of the claws ...

Recently he's been coming into my bedroom at awful odd hours of the day to play-attack my feet and legs under the covers. Sometimes he would bolt out and run back in to do a flying tackle. I've read that I shouldn't encourage aggressive play like that with any part of the human body because it may lead to potential true aggression or something of the sort. He still runs away like the wind when I actually sit up from the bed, so it's not very difficult to chase him out of the room. I've been keeping the room closed at night now because of it. I'm not sure how to take this interaction. It's freaking adorable, but I'd rather not encourage attacking humans.

I've also invested in a pretty damn nice cat tree for him. 72 inch high, 3 tiered fortress with hanging toys. He absolutely loves it, so hopefully that tires him out at night and he can take his play-aggression out on it there. I also figured it would be best for him to become accustomed to the height advantage to supervise the entire apartment. But since I want that place to be absolutely "his"' ... Do I avoid interacting with him at all while he's on it? It's so tempting to reach out and pet his head when he drifts off on it.

But, I'm not entirely sure what to do with him bopping my toes and hands. Occassionally I've been purposefully leaving my hand out close to him to see if he would start to rub up for affection and to let him know that I'm putting myself out there for him. Sometimes he hisses, sometimes he stares at it then primes himself for a seemingly aggressive play swipe at my hand, other times he just sniffs it and turns away. His scratches have been getting stronger recently and are starting to actually leave red marks compared to his very feeble nips and grabs the first week I've had him. It may be the confidence, agitation with the dog, or even my boyfriend letting him play with hands (which I've told him to stop doing).
I've been saying no and ignoring him, but I'm not entirely sure if it's working, honestly. If I catch him early enough, I withdraw my hand with a stern no. Since he's a semi-feral, I get the feeling that mama cat didn't quite see a reason to teach him to curb his swats. I might just resort to hissing at him hahaha.

Still a bit sad / low key resentful that he still hisses at me or swats, but I've been trying very hard to be patient (I'm just a very impatient person in general; it's not the cat, I swear). I feel like it's a good thing that he feels good enough to want to play-swat at my hand, but it freaks me out since he's been showing a bit aggression/strength in his swipes.

 

[rubysmama]

Sounds like things are going pretty well. The attacking your legs under the blankets is normal cat behaviour, BTW.

Has he been neutered yet? If not, it's time. And you can get the vet to trim his nails at the same time.

The cat tree sounds cool. Lucky cat.

When he scratches you, say "owwww" to let him know it hurts.

 

[Etarre]

Our cat has a cat tree that's effectively 'her' territory in the living room. It's basically her kitty equivalent to our couch, and her favorite place to sit while we're crashed out on the couch watching TV. We do pet her while she's up there, and she seems to enjoy it. I did read that you should never pick up a cat while they're on the cat tree or do anything that seems intrusive, like cut their claws or brush them if they don't like it, and we've been sticking to that. She still seems to know it's her space, and sometimes I think she goes up there to ask for pets in between playtime.

 

[mChes]

Sounds like things are going pretty well. The attacking your legs under the blankets is normal cat behaviour, BTW.

Has he been neutered yet? If not, it's time. And you can get the vet to trim his nails at the same time.

The cat tree sounds cool. Lucky cat.

When he scratches you, say "owwww" to let him know it hurts.

Yeah he neutered when I adopted him
Since he's a semi feral, I've been extra cautious of how I'm approaching him. It's pretty clear that he has a very sweet personality, but he's still very tense and cautious around everything that moves.
Within the month+ I've had him, he's come up to me for affection maybe 3 times. Would like to see more, but this is definitely better than 0!
I'm hoping that maybe in another month or two that he'll trust me more enough for me to approach him and pet him without any hissing and cowering.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Your first cat being semi-feral = a first time dog owner taking on a Belgian Malinois or a young adult rescue with behavior issues! It can be done, as you're doing, but it takes time.
My shy cats prefer a quiet life and unexpected noises cause them to head for the hills. As a general comparison of species, our dogs would be the ones out partying til 3:00AM and our cats would be the ones wearing monocles, sipping brandy and having intelligent discussions in the gentleman's smoking room
When all is quiet and he comes into the room and he gives you a look as if to see if it's safe to walk around, meet his eyes, give him a good hard heavy-lidded blink, and then look away and continue doing what you're doing. 99% of the time, this relaxes them, and it's like a dog turning their head away or yawning when they want to tell the other dog(s) that they mean no harm.
Cat Language - Oven-Baked Tradition

 

[Tobermory]

There's hope, mChes ! He'll come around. Mocha actually jumped on the chair next to me, walked onto my lap, and lay down for about two minutes this morning. First time. I skritched her back while she purred (and gripped my knees with the tips of her claws...ow). Then she stood up and calmly jumped down. "That's all," she said. Next week will be six months since I got her.