...if there's a dent in the mattress at your feet where the cats sleep.
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You May Be A Cat Person If...
- Thread starter Arirang
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- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #243
You may be a cat person if you realize that you're... starting to /look/ like your cat. No, not because you're literally wearing their fur on everything you own. You're starting to just look politely bored or else ALL FO TEH INTRESTS at everything. And, yeah, you slow-blink at everything with eyes. Including cats on TV.
If you watch Planet Earth II with your kitty and point at the screen every time there's a wildcat and say, "Look! It's you!" I do the same with lizards for my beardie, snakes for my snake, crabs for my crabs, fish for my fish...
If your litterbox is in your dining room.
If the cleanest thing in the dining room... is the litterbox.
If the nicest-smelling thing in the dining room... is the litterbox... (I use Breeze, so...)
If your clean, nice-smelling litterbox helps you sell candles at your other job which is selling candles and stuff. "Yes, I put this just a few feet from my litterbox and you cannot even detect a hint of the litter." Never mind that you can literally stick your face in the litterbox and not smell anything anyway.
If you watch Planet Earth II with your kitty and point at the screen every time there's a wildcat and say, "Look! It's you!" I do the same with lizards for my beardie, snakes for my snake, crabs for my crabs, fish for my fish...
If your litterbox is in your dining room.
If the cleanest thing in the dining room... is the litterbox.
If the nicest-smelling thing in the dining room... is the litterbox... (I use Breeze, so...)
If your clean, nice-smelling litterbox helps you sell candles at your other job which is selling candles and stuff. "Yes, I put this just a few feet from my litterbox and you cannot even detect a hint of the litter." Never mind that you can literally stick your face in the litterbox and not smell anything anyway.
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You may a cat person if...
you have a dream you're in your childhood home and sleeping in your childhood bedroom and in the middle of the night two of your childhood cats join you.
Sounds so sweet.
But during this dream, a cat has gas. Really bad. You keep smelling it but don't kick them out because they've been dead for decades and you don't have the heart.
The cat gas stink wakes you up. You smell the cat gas even though you're awake. You look around. A dog in your bed has an =D expression as they let one rip.
I cannot believe I live this way.
you have a dream you're in your childhood home and sleeping in your childhood bedroom and in the middle of the night two of your childhood cats join you.
Sounds so sweet.
But during this dream, a cat has gas. Really bad. You keep smelling it but don't kick them out because they've been dead for decades and you don't have the heart.
The cat gas stink wakes you up. You smell the cat gas even though you're awake. You look around. A dog in your bed has an =D expression as they let one rip.
I cannot believe I live this way.
Yeah, me either. Ain't it cool?
LOL
LOL
...you're glad you have a cellphone to access this site while you sit outside so the cat can have his backyard time...(--he just watched a helicopter pass overhead. I wonder what he thought of it...)
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Ever seen a Big Cat scared of a drone? It was amazingly hilarious. They ran like a house cat would run from a random balled up sock casually heaved across the room, which mine do a lot because 1). I'm a slob sometimes and 2). Socks take over the world and sometimes murder felines. Not always, not usually, not often, but you can't be too careful. When the drone died, they were curious, and when the batteries were begging for mercy and the thing was trying to take off they spooked!
We used to have crop dusters fly over head, and the reactions were from "eh, whatevs, bruh" to the not so comfortable "HIDE CUZ WE GON' DIE" with dramatic "take cover" head dives. Dogs usually ignored them after a year or two but the cats usually took 2-3 years to accept the fact that noisy wasps took over the sky occasionally..
One of our girl cats has learned people coming and going is normal until about late September/early October hits, and once October is here if someone stops in they're all puffy and mad about it. Things slow down here when winter arrives for good and she does not like being disturbed during hibernation. It's so weird =/
Lordy me LOL!
See, they know perfectly well what time of year it is, year to year. I have a very paranoid cat in May and maybe even June just to be sure, since that's when his vet visit usually is.
See, they know perfectly well what time of year it is, year to year. I have a very paranoid cat in May and maybe even June just to be sure, since that's when his vet visit usually is.
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Oh Lordy is right!!!
My asthmatic knows a few things:
-If he's wheezy, pretend like all is well. "Breathe through your skin/butt and no one suspects a thing."
-If he's wheezy and I am hopping around and pull out a carrier, pretend to play with toys.
-If he's wheezy and I pick him up and walk towards a carrier, sing some show tunes, dance The Charleston...all is OK!! No vet needed!!!
-Aw, Crap. They shoved me in a carrier =(
-Cry all the way to the vets.
Upon release...
-Cry all the way home. Make them feel bad...
Or, the silent treatment on the way home.
I never know if he's considering serious mayhem once he's freed of the carrier, or that the utter relief of it being over robs him of his voice
I never know if he's considering serious mayhem once he's freed of the carrier, or that the utter relief of it being over robs him of his voice
And you may be a cat person if, when your cats pass gas, you come up with “cute” nicknames for them like, oh, I dunno, Gas Giant (Lily of Large Girth) and Gas Molecule (Mocha of Petite Girth).You may a cat person if...
you have a dream you're in your childhood home and sleeping in your childhood bedroom and in the middle of the night two of your childhood cats join you.
Sounds so sweet.
But during this dream, a cat has gas. Really bad. You keep smelling it but don't kick them out because they've been dead for decades and you don't have the heart.
The cat gas stink wakes you up. You smell the cat gas even though you're awake. You look around. A dog in your bed has an =D expression as they let one rip.
I cannot believe I live this way.
You may be a cat person if your cat food prep area for meal times looks like a science experiment: three cats, two kinds of homemade food, a scale to make sure you’re not over feeding, Cosequin for the two seniors, probiotics for all three, a tincture to help the one who’s scratching, toppers for the one who is reluctant to eat turkey, two forks so you don’t get chicken in the meal for the cat with chicken sensitivity. Oh, and hemp oil to be given later for the one with stress.
Just the THOUGHT of finding a human hair in your restaurant meal is enough to send you running to the nearest restroom to vomit, but finding a cat hair in your sandwich at home doesn't even make you bat an eye.
. . .you refer to cat claws as "nails."
... you stand in your kitchen at 10 pm, quietly trying to be still and look in neutral directions so as not to disturb or distract the cat from eating his wet food snack.
I do that too!
You may be a cat person if you buy a pricey but supposedly unscented moisturizer to keep yourself from becoming a desiccated husk (humidity currently 9%) but when you put it on, your cats flinch, blink rapidly, and run away, so you never put it on again...and add it to all of the other pricey but supposedly unscented moisturizers populating your cabinet. Sigh. Dry, desiccated sigh.
My cats try to lick the hand cream off my fingers. My cats are weird.
