Would my cat want a friend?

[Moonlight_wolf]

I have one very loving, very needy 6 year old kitty and I love her so much. Historically she's gotten along fine with other cats that my housemates had. But right now I am living with someone who does not have a cat. I work from home, so she's not alone much at all. I would love to get another cat, but I also have this strange fear that she will be sad if I get another cat because she won't be getting all of my attention anymore since I would have to split my attention between two cats. She's such a needy girl that it just worries me that she would feel neglected. That's why I always liked when my housemates had cats because she could have friends but I also didn't feel bad favoring her over the other cats because she was *my* cat. But I also worry that she would benefit from a friend and I'm depriving her if I don't get another cat? She's pretty good as asking for love when she needs it. She has an enclosed catio and cat ledges and multiple cat towers, so she definitely has a lot of enrichment.

But I just have the irrational fear of her being sad if I got another 'child.' I don't know if this fear is rational or not.

 

[ArtNJ]

I think the bigger issue is that its not totally certain she would get along with the new cat despite the history of generally doing well with other cats. Cats get worse at that as they get older, and introductions even a year or two ago don't prove that the next one will go as well. In general, its a bit iffy to get another cat to enrich a six year old cat because at that age, introductions can sometimes be difficult and the chances that the cats will never be friends start to get pretty significant. I'd personally only recommend it if **you** actually want another cat and possibly enriching your current cat is merely a possible bonus.

 

[tiggerwillow]

In my experience, some cats do better with other cats, others will not accept other cats.

Being as she's friendly with other cats, you can try her with a younger cat, gradual introductions though

 

[Mamanyt1953]

You might try fostering, with the agreement that you would be adopting if all goes well. Look for a male cat, about the age and energy level of your girl. These tend to go better. Then just relax, knowing that you have not committed to something that you may not be able to follow through on.

 

[minniesunshine]

I have one very loving, very needy 6 year old kitty and I love her so much. Historically she's gotten along fine with other cats that my housemates had. But right now I am living with someone who does not have a cat. I work from home, so she's not alone much at all. I would love to get another cat, but I also have this strange fear that she will be sad if I get another cat because she won't be getting all of my attention anymore since I would have to split my attention between two cats. She's such a needy girl that it just worries me that she would feel neglected. That's why I always liked when my housemates had cats because she could have friends but I also didn't feel bad favoring her over the other cats because she was *my* cat. But I also worry that she would benefit from a friend and I'm depriving her if I don't get another cat? She's pretty good as asking for love when she needs it. She has an enclosed catio and cat ledges and multiple cat towers, so she definitely has a lot of enrichment.

But I just have the irrational fear of her being sad if I got another 'child.' I don't know if this fear is rational or not.

 

[minniesunshine]

I have one very loving, very needy 6 year old kitty and I love her so much. Historically she's gotten along fine with other cats that my housemates had. But right now I am living with someone who does not have a cat. I work from home, so she's not alone much at all. I would love to get another cat, but I also have this strange fear that she will be sad if I get another cat because she won't be getting all of my attention anymore since I would have to split my attention between two cats. She's such a needy girl that it just worries me that she would feel neglected. That's why I always liked when my housemates had cats because she could have friends but I also didn't feel bad favoring her over the other cats because she was *my* cat. But I also worry that she would benefit from a friend and I'm depriving her if I don't get another cat? She's pretty good as asking for love when she needs it. She has an enclosed catio and cat ledges and multiple cat towers, so she definitely has a lot of enrichment.

But I just have the irrational fear of her being sad if I got another 'child.' I don't know if this fear is rational or not.

I felt the same when I lost Sunshine. I was afraid if I got another kitty, my Ctea would be sad. But I ended up adopting 2 kitties & they actually r maki g her want o play again, (she’s 9) & I give her all the live so she knows she still my #1 baby.. Just make sure u chose a kitty that will fit your cats temperament (beat u can)

 

[goingpostal]

Did your cat seem to enjoy the company of the other cats she has lived with? Playful, interacting with them? Then yes she might quite like a friend with careful intros. My two aren't besties for cuddling or anything but they play with each other a ton and definitely enriching for them both.

 

[Moonlight_wolf]

I think that is all good points. The reason I had asked this question was because I had been looking at a kitten at the shelter. I feel like now isn’t a bad time to get another cat. Mia did enjoy playing with the other cats when she lived with them, and I would like to have two cats. So I ended up getting a kitten. I’ve never had a kitten because I got Mia as an adult. So now there’s a lot of new things to learn and I already have questions that im about to post on the boards

 

[BoaztheAdventureCat]

I have one very loving, very needy 6 year old kitty and I love her so much. Historically she's gotten along fine with other cats that my housemates had. But right now I am living with someone who does not have a cat. I work from home, so she's not alone much at all. I would love to get another cat, but I also have this strange fear that she will be sad if I get another cat because she won't be getting all of my attention anymore since I would have to split my attention between two cats. She's such a needy girl that it just worries me that she would feel neglected. That's why I always liked when my housemates had cats because she could have friends but I also didn't feel bad favoring her over the other cats because she was *my* cat. But I also worry that she would benefit from a friend and I'm depriving her if I don't get another cat? She's pretty good as asking for love when she needs it. She has an enclosed catio and cat ledges and multiple cat towers, so she definitely has a lot of enrichment.

But I just have the irrational fear of her being sad if I got another 'child.' I don't know if this fear is rational or not.

I totally understand your concerns. It's a bit of a gamble when contemplating whether you should bring another cat home to keep your current cat company. From your description, it sounds like it could either be a very good idea, or a bad idea. How long has she been living by herself and for how much of her life was she with other cats? Has she been with other cats since she was a kitten?

I've heard many stories of people that have a needy cat, they decide to adopt a second cat, and, with a proper slow introduction, they do greatly. Then, I've heard many other stories of people adopting a second cat thinking their current cat would enjoy it, only to be disappointed.

If you're uncertain about how your current cat would do at this point, a great option to consider, especially since you're home most of the time, is to apply to become a volunteer foster for your local animal rescue or shelter. Fostering a cat is great since it's only a temporary commitment and you'll be able to evaluate potentially many different cats with many different personalities and find out which personality might be the best match for your current cat.

One other thought I hope you will keep in mind: Don't worry about your cat becoming sad that it's not receiving as much one-on-one attention from you as you think it would like! You have the right to live your own life and not be controlled by your cat's preferences! It's very discouraging to see a cat that's depressed, so what I've been working on with my cat Boaz is conditioning him to be fine with receiving little attention from me during the day. When he asks for my attention, by meowing or pawing at me, for example, I generally ignore him and only offer him attention on my terms, while also respecting when he wishes to be left alone and not forcing my attention on him.

People's lives change regularly. Cats don't like change in their environment, so I try to combat this tendency in my cat as much as possible. We'd all love to be in complete control of our lives and never have anything change without our approval, but that's not reality. In the same way, it's not reality that a cat will be able to have everything go the way he likes all the time. I've been working with my cat from early on (but better late than never) to get him used to doing things that he'd rather not do so that, hopefully, he will be more resilient to changes when they must come. Some examples include riding in the car in his carrier regularly, riding in a cat backpack or a bike trailer sometimes when I go on outings, desensitizing him to dogs (since I don't currently have any, but I'm working towards getting one) and small children and different loud noises.

I've seen too many cats in my area given up for adoption because they were resistant to significant changes in their environment, such as not liking the new baby. It stinks when pets get spoiled because the owner has no children, then when the owner finally does have children, the pet gets kicked out because the owner failed to treat the animal appropriately and prepare them properly.

Sorry for my long rant, LOL. My point: Treat your animals kindly not by adhering to their every wish but by showing them an appropriate amount of love and preparing them to be resilient for the future so that they can accompany you their whole lives no matter what occurs!

 

[Moonlight_wolf]

Thanks guys! And yes Mia is always going to be a permanent resident of my heart and my home. No worries there! She’s been living with other cats most of her life actually. Only the last 6 months has she been alone. My previous housemate had two cats and she got along with them and played with them and such. She only got mad when the younger one tried to wrestle her but it wasn’t ever anything bad.

 

[BoaztheAdventureCat]

Thanks guys! And yes Mia is always going to be a permanent resident of my heart and my home. No worries there! She’s been living with other cats most of her life actually. Only the last 6 months has she been alone. My previous housemate had two cats and she got along with them and played with them and such. She only got mad when the younger one tried to wrestle her but it wasn’t ever anything bad.

Awesome. Since it sounds like she's had a generally good history with other cats, I think the chances are relatively good that she would get along with another cat if you decided to adopt or foster another.