Wit's End. Cat is going to have to go. Help.

[sckwee]

Please help.
 
I was a vet tech for three years and currently an RN and I can't seem to find it in myself to fix this problem!
 
My husband and I have been cat owners for years. We have gotten through many behavioral problems but this one seems to be impossible.
My husband wants to get rid of the cat completely and I have been the one saying 'no' but tonight was the last straw.
 

We have 4 cats. Three are fine, no real behavioral problems (other than jumping on the counter when they know they aren't supposed to.) Our 4th cat is the one who I am close to strangling. He basically refuses to use the litterbox. I do believe he uses it to urinate occasionally but NEVER for stools. I thought these problems would end when we moved out of our condo and into our brand new house last month. Instead he has already destroyed our new carpet by urinating on it and I spent an entire day on my hands and knees scrubbing the concrete floor of our basement so I could clean up the multiple piles of excrement.

Before you all jump to "Take him to the vet!" He has of course been taken to the vet. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of tests without any abnormal results.

Tonight I went down to work on a project in the basement and there were three new piles. I sighed, angrily got my cleaning supplies and instead of working on my project I got to scrub the floors again. Just as I was finishing up, the cat came and squatted right between two of the spots I had just cleaned and started to try and defecate right there in front of me!! I flew off the handle. I don't honestly even know what came over me but I scruffed that cat and literally chucked him across the room. It was mean and uncalled for, but he wasn't injured. But I hate myself for doing it and I hate the cat for making me do it.
 
I am ready to get rid of him completely. He is the world's most loving and social cat and he is playful and sweet. But he is ruining my life.
 
If something doesn't change, and really fast, I will have to get rid of him and that will make me feel even worse.

 

[tammyp]

Oh you poor thing.  My empathy for how you are feeling.  And also for your poor cat.

Without knowing a whole lot more, it is really hard to comment.  Has he ever used the box?  When did the problem start and what were the circumstances? Does he consistently use a certain area? What is it like, if so? Is he declawed?

I'm not the most expert on this forum, but others will be along soon and this info could help find some clues...there is always a reason why.  It is just not always evident to humans, least the person in the middle of all the emotions.

In the meantime, there is a truely uplifting story on the last My Cat From Hell episode I watched - about a cat who had NEVER used the box, and the owner had even given over a corner of her house for 'poo corner'.  It may have some clues for you, but if not, it will hopefully lift your spirits that such a situation can be overcome - the story is lovely.  It's Season 4 Episode 9 (second story in the episode)  http://www.primewire.ag/tv-2731618-My-Cat-from-Hell/season-4

Best wishes!

 

[dahlia]

I saw this Cat from Hell episode as well and was thinking about it as I read the OP.  I think it is definitely worth watching for some possible tips.

 

[tulosai]

First, my heart goes out to you.

However, I also could use more information. In addition to Tammy's questions above, it would also be helpful to know  what you have tried other than taking him to the vet so far? How many boxes do you have out? How many are on each floor? Have you tried different litters and sizes of box?  Have you tried training him as you would a kitten (i.e. when you see him starting to go, lifting him up and placing him in the closest box)? Are you using an enzyme cleaner to clean up the messes? How often do you scoop? What are you feeding him? What led you to think the problem would end when you moved?

To offer advice, we need the answers to these questions in addition to what you've already said.

 

[sckwee]

We have tried a variety of litters including different clay types and the wheat/barkdusty kinds. The one we have started using the most is Fresh Step clumping because most of the cats seem to like it the best.

There are currently 4 separate and different kinds of litterboxes in the basement in 4 different locations down there.

We generally scoop every other day.

We have tried a number of different foods as well. Initially they were all on Royal Canin, but then one of the other cats became diabetic and we have been experimenting with some low carb foods. The vet suggested our bad cat's problems may be allergies to a protein so we tried the $60/8.5lb bag of hypoallergenic food for a few months and saw no change. They are currently on a low carb, single protein food which they all seem to like.

Thinking back to when we got him when he was about 6 months old... he did use the litterbox. I can't remember for how long...maybe a year? Maybe a little more? Then, for reasons unknown, stopped; my husband remembers us trying to figure out why and we couldn't figure it out then. His favorite place to poop in our condo was literally right next to the box. We would come home to 4 piles of crap right next to the litterbox. We got a second box and placed in on the other side of the condo at that time, which didn't change anything. I tried putting shock mats over where he would go, then he would just go and crap on the cat tower. Also, if there is something he can sit in, like a box with stuff in it, or a basket with something in it, he will sit in there and urinate. So we had to eliminate some cat beds and some of my knitting baskets because he will use those instead of the litterbox if they are available.

I thought the problem may end after we moved because I would have the ability to have more litterboxes  Vets will tell you you should have one more litterbox than number of cats. I'm just about there and there has been no change. He still craps generally right next to the litterbox or within a couple feet of it.

Literally right now a corner of our brand new carpet is ripped up with the padding and nails and baseboard showing because my husband and I were so mad that now we can't even have people over to our brand new house because the stench has ruined our family room.

The cat is a purebred Abyssinian. and a spaz. None of our other cats are so high strung. If I were to pick him up while he is going and put him in a box he would thrash around and jump out and run away. I've tried it a few times to no avail.

As I'm typing this he is in my lap, purring, loving all over me and making biscuits which is why it's so hard to consider just getting rid of him. But nothing I do seems to work.  I have tried positive reinforcement (every time I see him use the litterbox to pee I wait till he gets out and then give him loves and/or treats), negative reinforcement like shock mats and hollering at him when he is about to squat, many different kinds of litterboxes. He is about to be just locked downstairs in the basement until we find a new home for him. Although for the past week and half I haven't found a new spot from him on the carpet so I'm not sure what that is about.

I'm almost in tears I'm so frustrated right now just writing!

thank you for your responses

 

[luvmy4]

You really need to scoop once a day at a minimum. Every other day or so is not enough for most cats. I scoop poop asap, sift pellets 3x per day, and dump sawdust daily. Would you enjoy going to use a toilet that others use and hasn't been flushed fot 48 hours? I am not trying to sound harsh but not cleaning daily can cause problems.
I would not recommend pine pellets for you since your cat is picky. Clay like you are using is probably best for litter avoidance. I would try cat attract litter.

It does help to have litter boxes on every level of the house IMO, and not all on one level. I don't know what shock mats are but they sound scary, I would stop using those in case its stressing him out. I would try putting a litter box or two in his favorite spots to go.
You said he will urinate in a box, is only one type or location? Does he go in the box right after ckeaning? Have you tried putting him in the smallest room in the house with a litter box to retrain him?
I have 4 cats and 6 boxes throughout our home. I
have 2 on each floor. I think it helps and they do use all of them. The more boxes and the cleaner the better.
I hope you can figure out why he is avoiding the litter box. Try to stay calm, and strong.

 

[sckwee]

I understand what you are trying to say but scooping daily, or even right after they go, is unrealistic.

It has never been a problem with my other cats. And what is the point of having cats if you can't go on a weekend trip? They have to understand that occasionally they are going to have use a 'somewhat used' litterbox and NOT get used to a spotless one every time they go. If I wanted to clean up poop a million times a day I would have gotten a dog. I get what you are saying but comparing it to humans isn't appropriate. They aren't humans. I commend you on your ability to have the time and energy to do your cats boxes multiple times a day but we both work full time, he works days I work nights. The little time we get to spend together won't be spent cleaning litterboxes.

We live in a split level house and specifically bought a house with a basement so the litterboxes could be down there and out of the way. I love my cats dearly, but I refuse to have people over and the first thing they do is wrinkle their noses and say "oh, you have cats." because there are two litterboxes right in front of them. there just isn't a place for more litterboxes in the rest of the house. The corner he destroyed is in our media room behind our reclining couches. I'm not putting a litterbox there period. No on is going to come to watch a movie and sit there smelling a litterbox the whole time; it is out of the question.

Now I know I'M sounding harsh now. But these are animals. I'm a caregiver by trade. Again, vet tech for years and a nurse. But at some point you have to look at the trade off between when you are living your life and when you are living for your cats. I want the happy medium I know exists because I have had it before.

To answer your remaining questions, I haven't caught him in the box since we moved. He must being peeing in at least one of them but I just haven't seen him do it so I'm not sure which one it is. I suggested putting him in one of the bathrooms with a box until he figures it out but my husband doesn't think it will work. The shock mats are only in the spot behind the couches so he doesn't try and pee there again. The cats know what they are and don't touch them, it emits a small shock like static electricity and is just surprising, not painful. And I do hope it stresses him out enough to never walk on that spot of the house again.

It is just sounding more and more like a lost cause. Perhaps I'll put and ad up in my town and see if anyone wants a very sweet, stupid not-litterbox trained purebred.

 

[tulosai]

Honestly, if you are not willing to make some very minor changes involving what I'd consider very minimal self sacrifice to see if you can change his ways, it probably is best for you to just post the ad.  If you and your hubby work separate shifts of course you don't want to spend the time you'd spend together scooping, but I am baffled as to why you can't scoop on your way to work, and have him scoop on his way out.  There's twice a day without giving up any together time. I am sorry,  but it is not that hard to scoop once a day. As to the weekend argument, if you're not willing to hire a sitter or have a friend check in then, maybe you'll come home to a mess- once in a while.  At least it won't be each day.

As for not being willing to have a box on the other floor, I consider this another minor change that would involve very minor sacrifice by my own standards.  There is  no reason for a box to smell if you are willing to clean it regularly.  I have shared a one bedroom apartment with 2 cats and a litter of fosters for most of my adult life and it truly does not smell.  And IMO no one worth their salt would judge you if your house did smell slightly like cats.

If you are serious about wanting to  find a solution, I'd try scooping daily and adding boxes on the other floor as suggested above.  I also advocate moving the boxes a few feet to where he is actually pooping and trying that.  Also, has he been checked for IBD specifically?   If what you really meant by your original post is you only want a solution if that solution involves no inconvenience whatsoever to you, I would post the ad.

I apologize if I sound harsh but I really can't understand your position.  Also, while you are helped by the fact that he is a purebred, you are going to have a terribly difficult time rehoming him if you intend to be honest about his issue. 

 

[mani]

I understand what you are trying to say but scooping daily, or even right after they go, is unrealistic.

It has never been a problem with my other cats. And what is the point of having cats if you can't go on a weekend trip? They have to understand that occasionally they are going to have use a 'somewhat used' litterbox and NOT get used to a spotless one every time they go. If I wanted to clean up poop a million times a day I would have gotten a dog. I get what you are saying but comparing it to humans isn't appropriate. They aren't humans. I commend you on your ability to have the time and energy to do your cats boxes multiple times a day but we both work full time, he works days I work nights. The little time we get to spend together won't be spent cleaning litterboxes.

Honestly, sckwee, one of the golden rules is scooping at least daily.  You're right.. they aren't humans.. They're cats with a sensitivity to smell that is WAY more sensitive than ours, and a standard of cleanliness a lot higher than that of many humans.

Some cats won't wee where they poo either.. I found that one out the hard way when I had just one cat and one litter.

luvmy4's idea about retraining is a good place to start.

Cats won't 'just understand' if it isn't what they want... The puzzle is to find out what it is they do want.  If he usually goes right next to litterboxes, as you said before, check whether there are any clean boxes.  He may be one of those cats that insists on clean.

I would also consider things like a feliway diffuser as a 'settler' and even appropriate flower essences, if you're into that kind of thing.

I do understand how terribly frustrating this would be.. it's just awful.  But there will be a resolution..

 

[sckwee]

I'm willing to make changes, really I am. I may even be willing to try scooping once a day even though I think it's unrealistic and breeds cats into thinking that's what they should have all the time even though they won't.  But putting boxes on each floor is not a minor change. On the top floor there are two bedrooms and one small bathroom. no place for a litterbox. I have lived long enough smelling litter boxes living in apartments and condos and now that I finally have a house I refuse to lay in bed, or have my guests lay in bed and smell it. It isn't just the pee/poo smell, it's the litter smell. No matter how 'unscented' it is I can still smell it.

The second floor is the formal living room, dining area and kitchen. No place for a a litterbox absolutely. Its disgusting enough that they occasionally jump on the counters but to have a litterbox where you eat is unsanitary. For the past 5 years we had to have the box near our dining area and it was horrible and I'm done with it.

The third floor has another two bedrooms, family/media room and another small bathroom. I can't even imagine trying to find a place for a litterbox on this floor.

The basement is 2 rooms and each room has 2 litterboxes catty-corner from each other. One of them is a litterrobot so it cleans itself after every use. Two are corner boxes and one is a large box with a clear top. Many options to choose from. So if the cats MUST have a litterbox that has no one elses yuck in it, they can always use the litterrobot.

When we go away for a week we do have a pet sitter. But if i want to be gone for 2 nights, I shouldn't have to get a sitter. They are cats and can care for themselves for that amount of time.

I realize my previous post sounds harsh and uncaring but it's not true. We have spent tens of thousands of dollars on these cats and give them a loving, caring, clean home where they never want for anything. Our diabetic cat alone has cost us enough to have bought a car. They have toys and cat posts and free range of the entire house. They are our children as we don't plan on having any real ones. So to say that I am against being 'inconvenienced' isn't fair. But there are just some things I won't budge on because I shouldn't have to, not because I'm not loving/caring/or able to do so. If the other three cats are willing to use the litterboxes in the basement so too should the fourth. I don't feel this is being unreasonable. Especially since he is pooing down there, just not in the boxes!! I just went down there just now to find three new piles.

We are going to replace the carpet padding under where the soiled carpet was and hope that mitigates the smell/problem there.

I just need the cat to make the effort to walk 2 more feet into the litterbox instead of crapping in front of it. That's all I want!

 

[Willowy]

It's pretty unrealistic to think anyone will want an adult cat who won't use a litterbox :/. If you don't want him, you're going to have to kill him. . .are you willing to do that? Just a thing to think about. If posting an ad will make you feel more at peace because "at least you're trying to rehome him", go ahead and do it, but if you're honest about his issues (and I hope you wouldn't dump him on an unsuspecting person) there really aren't going to be any takers.

The only other option to death I could think about would be contacting his breeder. A good breeder will always take back cats of their breeding. But no guarantee that the breeder wouldn't kill him---even they don't like living with that kind of thing. But maybe he/she has a cat-proofed room he could live in.

If you scoop every day, it literally takes 5 minutes, even if you have a lot of cats. It's when you wait too long to scoop that it takes longer and is more annoying. Or maybe scoop half the boxes every day, at least there would be a couple clean boxes. It might be a good idea to have at least one non-automated open box; a lot of cats don't like covered boxes, and some are scared of the automated kinds.

I have no idea if this would work or not for a pooping problem, but one thing I've found that works for sprayers is to put a dab of Vick's (or off-brand) vapo-rub at nose level where they spray. I guess it disrupts their smelling the pheromones that make them want to re-mark, but it doesn't seem to stress them or be aversive at all. Could be worth a try, although if he's not picky about location he might just pick a new spot to poop.

You could also try putting down puppy housetraining pads, see if he'll use those. They aren't very cheap, but at least they're easy to clean up and will protect the floor. My mom had a cat that only used puppy pads for the last 5 years of her life.

Oh, also---3 piles in a short period of time is amazing! Most cats poop once, maybe twice a day. Are you sure he's the only one doing it? How's his diet? Does the poop have a good consistency?

 

[tulosai]

I'm willing to make changes, really I am. I may even be willing to try scooping once a day even though I think it's unrealistic and breeds cats into thinking that's what they should have all the time even though they won't.  But putting boxes on each floor is not a minor change. On the top floor there are two bedrooms and one small bathroom. no place for a litterbox. I have lived long enough smelling litter boxes living in apartments and condos and now that I finally have a house I refuse to lay in bed, or have my guests lay in bed and smell it. It isn't just the pee/poo smell, it's the litter smell. No matter how 'unscented' it is I can still smell it.

The second floor is the formal living room, dining area and kitchen. No place for a a litterbox absolutely. Its disgusting enough that they occasionally jump on the counters but to have a litterbox where you eat is unsanitary. For the past 5 years we had to have the box near our dining area and it was horrible and I'm done with it.

The third floor has another two bedrooms, family/media room and another small bathroom. I can't even imagine trying to find a place for a litterbox on this floor.

The basement is 2 rooms and each room has 2 litterboxes catty-corner from each other. One of them is a litterrobot so it cleans itself after every use. Two are corner boxes and one is a large box with a clear top. Many options to choose from. So if the cats MUST have a litterbox that has no one elses yuck in it, they can always use the litterrobot.

When we go away for a week we do have a pet sitter. But if i want to be gone for 2 nights, I shouldn't have to get a sitter. They are cats and can care for themselves for that amount of time.

I realize my previous post sounds harsh and uncaring but it's not true. We have spent tens of thousands of dollars on these cats and give them a loving, caring, clean home where they never want for anything. Our diabetic cat alone has cost us enough to have bought a car. They have toys and cat posts and free range of the entire house. They are our children as we don't plan on having any real ones. So to say that I am against being 'inconvenienced' isn't fair. But there are just some things I won't budge on because I shouldn't have to, not because I'm not loving/caring/or able to do so. If the other three cats are willing to use the litterboxes in the basement so too should the fourth. I don't feel this is being unreasonable. Especially since he is pooing down there, just not in the boxes!! I just went down there just now to find three new piles.

I honestly hope my tone is coming out right, as I do feel for you and since I fear I am not sounding sympathetic.  To once more address your points one by one though:

-scooping more won't breed cats into thinking their box should be clean, IMO.  Cats think this already it's just a matter of to what degree.  It also won't stop them from going in the box when it gets dirtier.  In my own experience the opposite is true- if I clean it 2-3 times a day like usual, if one day I go 24 or even 36 hours they will suck it up.  If I go several days in a row they get less tolerant.

-I do think you could (and should) find a place for a litterbox on the second  and third floor.  I understand why you don't want one on the bedroom floor. If I were you, I'd have one both in the kitchen and in the media room. I can see that you and I have different ideas about what is acceptable in terms of box placement though, and that you are not going to do this.  However, it is something I still think should be tried. The top floor I can understand why you wouldn't want a box.

-I hope I didn't come across critical about the weekend trips. My main point was better a mess once every few weeks than once every day if they did for some reason not use the litterboxes then.

-I also hope I didn't come across as thinking yo don't care about your kitties.  After all you are posting here.

-I don't think it is reasonable for you to think because 3 cats are willing to do something the 4th will too.  I get you are not into cat human comparisons, but the fact is cats each have their own personalities, not unlike us.  Unlike us, though, they cannot be reasoned with in the ways we think of as conventional.  My one cat hates scented litter.  Much as I wish I could have had a sit down talk with him about how much better my life would be if he could use the box when scented litter is in it, in the end I had to give into the cat and use unscented litter, saving me the heartache of pee on my floor even though  the other cat used the scented litter like a champ. Some cats have more sensitive noses and more cleanly natures than others.  It's not fair to say the cat has to be like the ones who will tolerate a hugely messy litterbox and don't mind the smell.  He is a cat, as you yourself say.  He is not going to 'rise above' the conditions as you could expect a human to do. He will keep avoiding the offensive litterboxes until they are clean (if that is the issue). End of story.

 

[agentspooky]

I'm sure you care about your cats, but if you can't or won't try what might be the necessary changes, and are resorting to things like shock mats, maybe rehoming is the best idea. You've got one thing in your favor which is that he's a pure bred of a fancy breed. A lot of people are interested in that. Just make sure they know what they're getting into, make sure they have a clear understanding of the problem so when they find out they don't just dump in at the local shelter. You could try posting on the site rescueme.org , as well as looking up local rescue groups who might be able to help you.

I have 5 litter boxes and I scoop at least twice a day, for my sake, as well of course as theirs. I want them to be clean and happy, and I want the same for myself. Maybe this cat is just fussy about his cleanliness, maybe he's bored, maybe he's acting out of stress, maybe he needs a specific diet... who knows. You could try Cat Attract in the litter, but it may take more serious changes to remedy the problem.

 

[tammyp]

Hi again!

I can hear how stressed you are.  It's so weary-ing to have this happening.

The bottom line is...will you stick with what 'should' happen, or will you bend to what may solve the problem?  As the common saying goes, it's insanity to keep repeating the same things and expect a different outcome.  Try to let go of the angry 'shoulds' - I speak with empathy after a particularly trying week with sick cats, medications, vomit, diahorrea, and wee (and a ruined couch), copious washing - including myself with a poo-paw scratching my face.  The really good news is, if you bend to try some solutions, you don't necessarily have to have those things FOREVER - just until the cycle is broken.

Now, a couple practical things:

1.  If you can smell the litter, it is the wrong litter.  Pine - someone mentioned it - is not good for cats and can cause illness.  Make it your first mission to find a litter that has zero smell. Hopefully some people can suggest no scent litters in your area (I use breeders choice, but im in Australia).

2.  If you can smell cat stench, there is a problem.  I know, I know...let go of the 'shoulds' though.  The reality is cats like to go in clean places; in the wild they have the whole world to choose a clean spot.  So, how do you get rid of stench?  

a.  If it is coming from ruined carpets etc, enzymatic cleaner.  One made for cat pee - it works on all biological substances.  It actively eats up the things that cause odour.  Then the black light to check for missed spots.  Re-treat.  As you are replacing carpet underlay, that will also work 

b.  If it is coming from the box, clean the boxes.  The BOXES.  A full litter out, a bleach clean, sitting for 15mins for the bleach to do its thing, about 10 rinses (make sure there is no bleach left at all as it is poisonous to cats), dry the box, completely fresh litter.  Now scoop twice per day.  No excuses, no 'shoulds', just do it...you want the result right? And exactly as Tulosai said, it will actually help deal with the odd lack of cleanliness, not create a precedent to rule your lives.  

c. Next, the poop itself.  If it really is smelly, frequent, poorly formed, there is a health issue that needs to be dealt with.  (Sigh...not MORE work!  But just think of the result...and how much suffering is going on presently for your cat...won't it be great eventually?)  And I assure you, apart from the present stenchiness of illness in our place, the usual state of affairs is NO SMELL.  Can you imagine a prissy male (my husband), who makes me do all the 'icky' things, actually putting his face close to a poo and exclaiming 'It doesn't smell?!' - raw food does that.  We have two open boxes in the living room.  No problem - in fact, it makes it really easy to do frequent scooping.  The first thing I'd look at with diet is getting rid of kibble (sounds like you use it? 'bag', 'going away for two days').  Grains are a HUGE problem for cats, so I'd be looking for grain-free canned as a better option.  I'm sure you know this site: http://www.catinfo.org/.

3.  Litter texture.  You didn't mention if he is declawed?  My take is that if he is going next to the box, he is displaying good cat behaviour...but there is something that makes him not be able to use the box.  It could be pain if declawed.  Or as above, it could be bad smell.  Or a spooky cover.  Or a scary location...  The good news is, he WANTS to be clean.  So we just have to remove the thing that is making it impossible.

4.  The Vicks suggestion.  If it is like Australian Vicks, it has eucalyptus in it.  This is toxic to cats.  Don't use.  (See my blog for details).

5.  Shock mats.  Hmmm.  I understand the principle.  Personally, I'd be removing any stressors.  Try double sided sticky tape instead - they don't like the stickiness on their paws.  We use the favourite cat rugs, as Kato doesn't want to pee on them!  Re the stress thing, stress isn't located to just an 'area' that will 'stress him out enough to not go there'.  Stress works like...'the hair that broke the camel's back'.  It's with the person/animal, and when capacity gets 'full', well - my husband yells at me, my cat will pee on something he shouldnt.  (The irony is, husband yelling at me was the stressor that made my cat pee on the couch two days ago!! lol!).  I like the suggestion of feliway.  Anything you can do to reduce the level of stress is great - playtime works wonders over here, as does feliway.  We also have active breed cats, so I imagine an Aby would respond really well with wand play that wears them out.

Best wishes!

 

[franksmom]

If he isn't going upstairs you may be all right just keeping the boxes in the basement. Because you have a litter robot if he is going upstairs you could move that up there. I have a litter robot myself and there is no smell at all with mine-you could even put a deodorizer in the drawer if you don't empty the bag out regularly.  Like everyone else has said it takes less then 5 min to clean a litter box and cats actually have a far more sensitive smell than we do. Here is a great article written by a wonderful vet on litter box problems and how to fix them (http://catinfo.org/?link=litterbox). 

Honestly to me this sounds like it may be a diet/ibs issue. Is his stool soft or hard? What may be happening is that he can't make it to the litter box in time and is in pain discomfort, so this is why he uses the floor. It sounds like you are feeding dry food, which is known to make stomach issues worse I would try switching to a good grain free wet food or raw diet. Again cat info.org is an amazing resource on species appropriate diets for cats. 

If he is declawed or has arthritis he may be doing this because his paws hurt. Try yesterdays news litter it is softer on their feet. 

Watch the cat from hell episode and look into getting a behaviourist if none of the above suggestions work. Think of this problem like a disease. He is probably doing this because he is in some kind of pain or discomfort and just like your diabetic cat he needs treatment and care.  

If you are unable to do these things contact a rescue to help you rehome him. Here is a link to an abyssinian rescue that you should contact  (http://www.abyssinian-rescue.com). I also agree that you need to contact the breeder if you decide to give him away because most breeders will have a return policy in their contract. Do not give him to a shelter because as others have said he will die scared and alone- you say he is like your child so I really hope you do right by him.

EDIT: I forgot to add that you also need to try cat attract litter and a feliway plug in.

 

[melesine]

Is this cat declawed? 

I think you need more boxes, especially because you aren't scooping at least once a day which means they don't have an alternate place to go if they need to. Plus the rule is 1 box per cat +1 extra box at minimum. The less often you scoop the boxes the more you need IMO. Also I'd have already either moved the boxes to a room with a hard floor that is easier to clean if they miss the box or I'd have put a solid surface down and put the boxes on top of it. This makes it much easier to clean up than on carpet. I don't have one box on a carpeted surface, they are all on hard floor. Your cat know that that area by the box is the place to go and used to use the box so it seems he has litter box aversion.  Have you tried an empty box with no litter in it, I'd line it with a puppy pad or newspaper. 

 

[miles1321]

have you considered putting the litter tray inside a bigger box? my 17 year old cat doesnt go out so much now especially in the winter, he has a habit of sitting in the litter tray and pooping over the side and then flicking the cat litter out the box to cover the poop, so we got a large wooden crate lined it with an old thick plastic table cloth and then put the litter tray inside that. he may also want to be a bit more private.... or have you tried puppy training pads? you could lay one on the floor and train him/her to go on that

 

[parsleysage]

I just wanted to throw in with tulosai about the different personalities of different cats.  I have three and two of them are easy-going and can tolerate a 24+ hour litterbox with no problem.  Garfunkel, however, is utterly fastidious and will not tolerate it.  If I don't clean it once a day, he will find another place to pee.  If I clean it once a day, he goes in the box every time with no problem or stress.  My litterbox (yes, one, I live in a 2-room apartment) is enormous so it is a pain to clean every day, but it's a much bigger pain to throw away and replace things that can't be cleaned or clean those things than can.  Sounds like your guy has a powerful drive for cleanliness and you may have to accommodate it even though it's annoying. 

Try the Cat Attract litter recommended on catinfo.org and also someone else in the thread.  Apparently it is magic!

I checked but didn't see if your cat is declawed.  If so, it is unlikely you will ever get him to use the box with regularity as it is probably painful for him.  I think the puppy pads a few people suggested would be your best solution in that instance.

I can hear your frustration coming through your posts and I hope you are able to make some changes to resolve this problem and enjoy your relationship with your sweet boy!

 

[lianaspoken]

I have three cats and have 3 litter boxes. I do agree that you need four litter boxes, and when you get the other boxes make sure you pre existing ones are clean with fresh litter also. Then take one of his "piles" and burry it in one of the boxes so it will smell like him and hopefully the other cats will leave it just for him. Also, my only male cat in the house always goes number 2 outside during the day butt will pee in his box at night when he is locked in. I hope you can find something. 

 

[peaches08]

Is the cat declawed? If so, his paws may be too tender for some litter.

Your description of him sounds like anxiety. I wonder if prozac might help?