Will some kittens just grow up to be mean?

[Shaane]

After typing it out, I realize the question sounds rather silly. Or maybe it doesn't?

My partner has his heart set on getting a kitten. And right now, there's honestly nothing stopping us besides a few of my own hesitations. We're in a place where we have time/space/money to add an additional cat to the household. Our son is finally old enough to really understand animals (10). But, personally, I'd prefer adopting a slightly older cat. My partner, on the other hand, has never gotten to experience owning a cat (or dog for that matter) since it was a wee baby and it's something he'd really like to do now that we're capable.

My questions - 1. Will some kittens just grow up to be meaner no matter how they're raised? Currently we have one cat and one dog. Both are extremely animal friendly, we've pet sat for friends/family, they travel with us, etc. I don't think they'll be throwing a welcome home party to any new animal but I'm confident after an adjustment period that they'd get along. My worry is that with a kitten...it's hard to predict their behavior as they become an adult cat. Is it possible we get a kitten, get attached, love it, but it grows up to just be one of those cats that are extra....well, cat.-like. I want another cat that is friendly and I feel like adopting an older cat will assure the right temperament but I'm not so sure getting a kitten will.

Other question - 2. Do some cats just never get along with dogs? Our dog is an 85lb giant but she's gentle and while I don't so much worry about her reaction, is it possible a new kitten just never warms up to a dog? Obviously, like I said, there will be an adjustment period for any new animal but is it possible that some cats just never like dogs no matter what?

Question 3 - I've read a lot that sometimes getting 2 kittens at once is better than a singleton. Is this something that's extremely important? We could handle two (other than my previously stated reservations) but I'm not sure if it's necessary. My cat right now is four years old and honestly, she loves anything with a pulse. We even had to puppy sit my sister's dog once (when it was still a puppy-puppy) and if she could deal with that crazy I think she'd be fine with a kitten in terms of playing and helping it to learn any manners it might need.

TL;DR - Is getting a kitten instead of an older cat a huge gamble in terms of temperament?

Thanks for reading this novel and I apologize if I posted my question in the wrong place.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi! None of what you have asked can be answered with any certainty. Cats, just like people, have different personalities. And, just like people, some of that personality comes from how they are raised, but another part is just plain genetics.

I would venture, however, to say that a kitten is likely NOT to grow up mean if it is treated and taken care of correctly. But, if by 'cat-like' you are referring to whether might they be less cuddly or affectionate, or more 'independent' than you want - yes, they might. Those characteristics in a cat cannot be labeled 'mean', just part of some cats' personality. How you raise a kitten might impact the degree of affection/independence the cat develops over time, but not entirely.

Kittens that grow up with dogs are more likely to accept them than perhaps an older cat might be, BUT a lot of that depends on the nature/discipline of the dog, and/or whether or not an adult cat had previous negative or positive experiences with dogs before being adopted by you.

An older cat is not necessarily going to have better 'temperament' than a kitten, particularly when considering the aspect of adaptation to other pets. They might be more 'settled' in their ways, and less rambunctious than a kitten, but could very well take a longer time to adjust to a new home and other animals than a kitten. That, again, all depends on the background of the adult cat.

Getting two kittens instead of one really isn't going to do much of anything other than have your family dealing with two kittens instead of one. A lot of people advocate for this because they think that it gives the kitten an 'equal' to play with and therefore cause less disruption. Whether or not that would apply in your case is pretty much dependent on your family members and your other pets.

Good questions; sorry I don't really have solid answers. But, thank you for reading my novel of totally unhelpful responses!!

 

[ArtNJ]

It is almost always easier to integrate a kitten than an adult cat. It is thought that if you match the personality and activity level of an adult cat *perfectly* to you existing pets, that might be just as easy or even easier, but in the real world, a kitten is just easier. On average.

The most common problematic trait you will find in a kitten is that they often don't give a bleep whether other pets want to play. THEY want to play, and that is all that matters. You have 14 year old cats that are hissing, growling, swatting and desperately trying to evade the kitten, and the kitten just doesn't care, at all. They want to play, and that is that. Your pets may be more adaptable than most, but I wouldn't be totally surprised if there are some problems at first.

People also have problems dealing with kittens that are overly needy. I think it is mostly people with anxiety that have trouble coping with this, but there is no doubt that kittens can bond very tightly, and be very demanding of their humans as well as other pets.

People have problems with kittens messing with their sleep. People have problems with kittens that are a bit bitey and need to be trained out of that. People have problems teaching kittens to use scratching posts, stay off counters, not climb curtains and all that. People have issues with kittens not being as affectionate as they expect or hoped.

My brother has had two mean cats. I don't think he is great at socializing cats, and he adopted one as an adult without knowing its background. He did adopt one as a kitten. I don't know how it ended up mean. My brother is very very nice, so it wasn't that, but it isn't remotely common that a home raised kitten ends up this way either. More like very rare. So I don't know how it happened.

In terms of cat aggression, its vastly more likely that you will have redirected aggression, or some sort of other interpet problem crop up at some point during their lives. These can happen. You do have people on here that are like "I've taken care of probably 100 cats and never had a serious problem" but you have many others that have had cat pairs suddenly develop serious issues between them. So likely it is some combination of chance and skill at dealing with the issues that do come up. Knowing when cats are just being cats, and when one needs to intervene. But now you have us to help, if you are worried a problem is cropping up.

 

[Shaane]

Thank you both for your well thought out and speedy replies!

I guess I shouldn't say "cat-like" but just...well, more aggressive. Our current cat, while friendly, doesn't much like to be held and that's fine with us. You can pet her, scratch her, she'll lay next to us, but if we hold her she tries to run away (though she never uses her claws). We're okay with an aloof, independent cat.

But I've met a few cats in my day that were just not the nicest. I know kittens will scratch and even bite until they learn, but I guess I mean...is it possible to get a kitten and despite your best efforts, it still grows up to be one of those cats that attacks ya when you walk by or hisses and scratches out of nowhere? Or just you know, one that's a little crazy? For lack of a better term, I'm sorry.

I've always adopted my pets as adults and I like being able to know they're fairly well tempered beforehand. I know issues can and most likely will crop up but IDK. I guess I want a crystal ball to see into the future lol.

 

[She's a witch]

Lots of cats, and I hear majority in the US, are separated from their families way too early, which may cause some behavior issues like biting, attacking hands and ankles, aggression etc. That’s one of the reasons why it’s better to adopt two kittens rather than one, they learn from one another in a natural way - human will not replace cat mom or kitten siblings. I’m of a strong opinion that kittens should never be adopted alone, without another kitten or a playful cat company, as this minimizes the risk of behaviors that is unwanted by humans. Not mentioning that kittens playing with each other is the most entertaining thing ever imo

Delayed weaning reduces behavioural problems in cats
Single-Kitten Syndrome - MEOW Cat Rescue

 

[sweetblackpaws]

"My worry is that with a kitten...it's hard to predict their behavior as they become an adult cat. Is it possible we get a kitten, get attached, love it, but it grows up to just be one of those cats that are extra....well, cat.-like ."
This is correct. There just is no telling. The fact that you are concerned about this tells me you probably should not get a kitten.

I am also concerned about your 85 pound "gentle giant". Was he raised with your current cat? That is much different than bringing in a kitten with a full-grown dog.

 

[Shaane]

I'm still trying to figure out the quotes, I'm sorry. But to answer the question, no our dog wasn't raised with our cat for her entire life. We adopted her after our cat. The foster family had cats though and she's also been around my mom's cats. She's also had the neighbor's indoor/outdoor cat approach her on walks and barely even bothered to sniff it.

I don't think she's ever been around a really small kitten though I can't say for sure,a lot of the details of her life before the foster family is a mystery to us.

I mean I know there's no guarantee that our current animals (dog or cat) are going to become thick as thieves with any new addition whether it be a kitten, cat, puppy, dog, giraffe, or walrus. But. In terms of their behavior/temperament I think we have an okay starting place.

And honestly, I'm okay not getting a kitten! But it's something my partner would like to do. We'll likely end up at the rescue and see what kittens/cat they think would be a best fit for our home and go from there but I'm just hesitant. I have no shame in saying I prefer adult animals but I guess I just want reassurance that a kitten could work out okay.

 

[ArtNJ]

I don't remember my brother's first mean cat at all, but the second would growl if you merely looked at it. Well, if a visitor looked at it. With my brother he was slightly better, and attacks were rare -- but his partner is traumatized enough that he forbids another cat. Anything is possible. I just think this is super rare if you are adopting a kitten rather than an adult cat with an unfavorable background. Its just not the problem to worry about -- you could have all sorts of other problems, but an inherently "mean" disposition is not particularly one of them.

 

[IndyJones]

I was kind of the same way when I got Indy at 6 months old. I was looking for an adult cat but saw her advertised online through a rescue. I actually didn't want to deal with the kitten stage at all because of how rambunctious they are. But I went to visit Indy and she won me over. 3 years later she still is a livewire and sticks to me like a pice of tape. It actually gets to be too much sometimes. She also has a habit of making a toy out of anything so can't be left unsupervised for long.

I luckily have a really nice room for her with a glass door and windows all along where the ceiling meets the wall. She stays there when I sleep and when I leave.

 

[Willowy]

In my experience, cats don't usually grow up mean unless they're taken far too young from their mother and grow up without other cats around, or they're treated aggressively/abusively by humans. Sometimes a single extremely traumatic event will turn a cat mean too.

If your current cat is likely to interact well with a kitten, you shouldn't need to get 2 kittens. But in general, yeah, kittens should go in pairs because single kittens who don't get enough cat interaction just turn out weird.

 

[Caspers Human]

Kittens are certainly more rambunctious in their youth but they grow up and learn to behave.

The same thing goes with raising kittens as it does with raising kids... It's all about how they are brought up.

There's always a chance of getting a bad apple but conscientious parents are more likely to bring up well-behaved kids. Conscientious cat-parents are more likely to bring up well-behaved cats, too.

 

[Neko-chan's mama]

A final note on adoption. Sometimes the cat you expect to adopt isn't the one you go home with. When we adopted Neko-chan last May, we went to the shelter looking for an adolescent to adult cat. I honestly didn't want to deal with kitten behavior. We came home with an 11 week old kitten. I've found that usually there's a cat there that just looks at you like "hey, I've been waiting for you to come take me home" and even though you wanted a 3 month old black male kitten, you end up with a 2 year old female tabby.

 

[vince]

That's so true. Both times, I went to the shelter to get a black cat and came home with a brown tabby. One, because he "talked" to me. The other, because he came up to me and the hearts started coming. The third one is an orange meanie, whose mom abandoned her under my car. Even though she's not quite the affectionate one, she's getting better after 1 1/2 years. Sometimes, it just takes a little time.