Will kitten remember abuse?

[winstonsmommy]

Hello,

I found a 4 week old kitten in the city (he is 7 weeks old now and very healthy!) 

I have owned cats my whole life, as well as my husband who grew up with a few as well as tended to strays.

Anyway, the reason for my post...

My husband and I go away often because of our jobs.

We were called away to North Carolina a few weeks ago and we had our friend's pre-teen daughter come and watch the kitty (Winston).

When we came home, Winston was acting a little odd....it only lasted about a day so I was not super concerned at first.

He had a little lump on his head, which set a few alarm bells off to me.

So my husband and i were called away again, this time to Canada and we were leaving for 10 days.

I wanted to trust our friend's daughter, and my husband said the lump could have came from anywhere, but to appease my maternal paranoia we moved one of our security cameras to the 'cat room' where Winston stays while we are not at home. 

It is a big room with windows and a bathroom for his litter tray, etc.

So...we come home and Winston is acting REALLY off...so we watch the video..what we saw was awful.

This girl was fine with him until one day they were playing and he bit her (like kittens do). We told her to not allow him to bite hard, because mommy and litter mates never really had a chance to teach him manners, he plays a bit rough sometimes. We told her to gently blow at him and re-direct his attention to a toy.

NEVER hit.

So...Winston bites her. First she picked him up high and it looked like she was yelling. She slammed him down on the bed about 5 times. She rolled him in the blanket and shook it violently. She then let him out to run away from her, only to yank him back hit him more and did what appeared to be scream into his ear. She brought him into the bathroom and was vigorously rubbing food into his face (its a wet/dry combo) he was shaking his poor head everywhere and she held his head and was GRINDING the food all over his head and face. She then shoved him into a corner and it looked like she was yelling more as she swat at him. She must have felt like now he was filthy with food all over him, so she put him in the sink and roughly soaked him with water. When she was drying him, she kept squeezing and shaking him inside the towel HARD. she held him up, wet and terrified up towards the ceiling and dropped him. she took him back into the bathroom and threw him into his litter tray. Then she threw him into the tub and held him above the toilet while she flushed the food that was all over the floor from rubbing it all over his head.

Sorry for the bad grammar/spelling. it is difficult for me to even type this, let alone re-live it in my head.

So when my husband and I saw this, naturally, we called her mother. After viewing it her mother was in tears. She begged us not to call the police, told us she would handle her daughter...there is more happening with the consequences of this nasty young ladies actions, however, my question is about my kitten.

He is being sweet to my husband and I, he is playful, follows us around and he still sleeps on me and purrs. He paces around mewing at me as usual, and has not missed his litter tray or avoided his food bowl.

Is it possible he will walk away from this even unscathed? He has nothing physically wrong with him (we took him to the vet right away to check for broken bones/bruises-nothing!) 

It just seemed to me like SUCH a traumatic event for him to not even be bothered by it. When the girl came over to our house to apologize, give back the money we had paid her for watching him + vet bill, etc. Winston even walked around her purring!!!! He let her pick him up and kiss him and say she was sorry. That will be the last time she ever sees him, but I could not believe he allowed her near him.

Is this normal for a kitten? does he just have really bad memory? Don't get me wrong, we are SO happy he is not brain damaged or ruined because of this, but he genuinely seems OK, thank God. 

*note-I know people will be upset about this event. I will not give out any personal details about the girl. She has and will continue to pay the price for what she has done by terms that I, her mother and the police decided were fair and just. She has been dealt with and will, hopefully, not ever abuse another small animal again*

 

[stephenq]

how do you know she did all these things?  You're very specific, did she admit all these things? You had a camera?

 

[winstonsmommy]

Yes we had a camera set up and she admitted to much of it that we could not make out so well on video. 

Like I said, I had a suspicion of it after the first time we left because of the lump on his head, so we moved one of our surveillance cameras to his room. 

 

[winstonsmommy]

So do you think his reaction to his is normal?

 

[p3 and the king]

Well, cats can recall a great deal.  But he is young enough that with time, he may forget about it.  Also, he may always be a little bit weary of her.  It's understandable.  I would just not entrusts her any longer with him.  Find a good kennel maybe some friend can recommend or make sure she knows you are watching her but she never knows quite where the cameras are. 

My Tyrion, I suspect was abused and starved before I found and rescued him at a very young age.  His siblings all died.  But he lived and to this day, he is fine.  He doesn't seem to recall actual memories but he has always had a very stubborn and strong headed nature.  I believe it is ingrained in him because of what he went through. 

 

[winstonsmommy]

 
Well, cats can recall a great deal.  But he is young enough that with time, he may forget about it.  Also, he may always be a little bit weary of her.  It's understandable.  I would just not entrusts her any longer with him.  Find a good kennel maybe some friend can recommend or make sure she knows you are watching her but she never knows quite where the cameras are. 

My Tyrion, I suspect was abused and starved before I found and rescued him at a very young age.  His siblings all died.  But he lived and to this day, he is fine.  He doesn't seem to recall actual memories but he has always had a very stubborn and strong headed nature.  I believe it is ingrained in him because of what he went through. 

Winston will NEVER see her again. I told my friend I am sorry but after what I saw, I cannot have her in my house. If she wasn't so young I may hit her the way she hit my poor little guy I still am really upset. My friend gets it though, she is pretty disgusted by it all too, and is enlisting professional help for her daughter. 

Oh your poor baby I have no idea what Winston went through the 4 weeks in the wild before we saved him, but my husband thinks what this girl did to him may have been nothing compared to what he has already seen I think next time I am going to have my mom watch him. 

 

[furmonster mom]

I don't think they have exact memories in the same manner that we do.  But I do believe they have emotional associations even if they can't "remember" the exact cause... more "subconscious", if you will.  I also believe that, much like humans, their personalities are shaped by their experiences.  And even though the memories of experiences may fade, there may be a small vestige in the personality.... if that makes sense.

 

[seaturtle]

One of my males, who was abused, starts growling whenever a man comes in. I don't think the memories are explicit, but associations can stick around all their lives.  Some cats avoid places they have been hurt or frightened. Has you kitty reacted to the toilet or other things that were used in the abuse?

 

[furmonster mom]

I'm just really shocked that this girl even acted out this way.  I'm sorry, but it really makes me wonder where she learned that kind of behavior.  That kind of display of uncontrolled temper is a red flag that something is really really not right in that girl's world.

 

[p3 and the king]

Kittens like children are resilient.  He'll be fine.  My Tyrion is a very sweet and loving boy... He's just a bit of a handful is all.  But, I think what he went through made him stronger.  He's a tough little guy.  A survivor.  I am sure your kitty will be fine.  As Taylor Swift's song says, he's gonna "shake it off".

 

[fluffybeard]

Only you know your friend and the exact circumstances of everything, but what you wrote sounds disturbingly like a child acting out abuse that they have witnessed or experienced. It doesn't seem like a kid getting mad cause they got bit and hit the cat in retaliation. It was such a long series of abuses that involved yelling, humiliation, and things abusive people do to kids like shoving the cat in the corner and swatting him.

Again, I don't know anything about these people or the situation and I could be totally wrong, but just based on what you wrote, the girl's behavior is a major red flag and I wouldn't feel right if I didn't point it out. Domestic violence and child abuse can happen in any family, even ones that look perfect and loving on the outside. I know this from personal experience.

I don't know if your kitten will remember anything. My cat was orphaned in a violent dog attack when he was a baby and I always thought I would notice him being traumatized by it somehow, but I haven't noticed it at all. He's been happy and outgoing since the day after the attack and doesn't seem afraid of dogs either. I think that all us creatures might be built to cope with brief traumas better than long term suffering.

Hoping your kitty has a happy, healthy life!

 

[p3 and the king]

We need to remember this is a child.   As a person going through behavior studies in college, I have had plenty of psychology courses and yes, these are red flags to a deeper problem.  I can tell you that no psychiatrists or psychologist will diagnose her with anything definite at this point.  Because most of the time the criteria says they have to be at least 18 before they can.  However, I would asks that people refrain from getting off subject and posting about her.  It is not for us to discuss or try to diagnose.  We are here to help the cat and give answers to the best of our ability about the cat only. 

 

[fhicat]

Cats have long memories, and different cats deal with it differently. 

This cat seems to be pretty resilient, and has a heart so big he is able to forgive her. Do right by him, and give him all your love till the end of his days. Time heals, even for cats, especially so for cats.

 

[furmonster mom]

 
We need to remember this is a child.   As a person going through behavior studies in college, I have had plenty of psychology courses and yes, these are red flags to a deeper problem.  I can tell you that no psychiatrists or psychologist will diagnose her with anything definite at this point.  Because most of the time the criteria says they have to be at least 18 before they can.  However, I would asks that people refrain from getting off subject and posting about her.  It is not for us to discuss or try to diagnose.  We are here to help the cat and give answers to the best of our ability about the cat only. 

I understand what you are saying, but I also understand Fluffybeard's concerns. 

It saddens me to hear these kinds of stories, because there is the realization that there may be more than one victim.

How many times have we heard about "mean kids" abusing animals, just to find out later that it was an indicator of what was going on in their households?  Wouldn't we, as an animal loving community, be remiss if we didn't voice our concerns?  Perhaps the OP can somehow find the courage to talk to her friend about what's really going on, and encourage them to find help beyond the police. 

Nevertheless, I understand the inclination to keep that as a separate issue, difficult as it may be. 

The kitten is indeed the focus in this particular place.  I agree that he will most likely bounce back on account of his positive and loving family environment.

 

[p3 and the king]

Well if her mom wanted to make a big deal of it or she happened to stumble on to it... The site could get into trouble.  She is a child and we are discussing "problems."  This could be seen as online bullying.  That was why I said we need to stop.  It could be quite serious.  Just stick to the cat.  I know how others feel and their concern but it's for the best of the site to stick to the cat.... Just to be safe.

 

[rlavach]

I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to your sweet baby. Good for you and your momma instincts for finding it. In my experience, cats have a different way of remembering things. Like others have said, they may not remember exact details, but just feelings and situations. My 1st cat hates women & only likes men. She has loved every man who owned her, but growls at any woman. She was a stray, so who knows what happened in her early life to cause that. Also, sometimes my cats will show fear when I hold them or myself in a certain way. Like it triggers a memory. I'm obviously never going to do anything to them, but perhaps it reminds them of the way someone looked or held them when something traumatic happened in their life before me. So you may see more things like that, rather than a specific reaction to the exact person. Hugs! 

 

[winstonsmommy]

 
I understand what you are saying, but I also understand Fluffybeard's concerns. 

It saddens me to hear these kinds of stories, because there is the realization that there may be more than one victim.

How many times have we heard about "mean kids" abusing animals, just to find out later that it was an indicator of what was going on in their households?  Wouldn't we, as an animal loving community, be remiss if we didn't voice our concerns?  Perhaps the OP can somehow find the courage to talk to her friend about what's really going on, and encourage them to find help beyond the police. 

Nevertheless, I understand the inclination to keep that as a separate issue, difficult as it may be. 

The kitten is indeed the focus in this particular place.  I agree that he will most likely bounce back on account of his positive and loving family environment.

Furmonster- I had enough courage in dealing with it the way we did. I had put the disclaimer at the bottom of my post for the reasons P3 and the King stated, not to mention I only want to discuss the cat, not all the details or the 'why' her daughter gave us to justify the act. I know all the answers to everyone's concerns about her, but I would never broadcast details, nor discuss with anyone aside from her and her mother. 

Winston is more loving every day, even though sometimes when we play with toys he does this new thing where he jumps onto my arm and sinks his little baby teeth into my wrist *ouch!* but I think that is normal kitten stuff. especially from a feral who was abandoned so young. 

We play rough with him, so my husband said even though we dont play nearly as rough as the offender (that was not play-just abuse) he thinks perhaps Winston thought she was playing? He is only 7 weeks old...who knows? I am happy to hear others have cats with a history of abuse who seem fairly well adjusted. Since we can only prove one time (but speculate more) this happened to him, I am glad he is normal in how he is acting <3 He is a happy little guy!

 

[winstonsmommy]

 
One of my males, who was abused, starts growling whenever a man comes in. I don't think the memories are explicit, but associations can stick around all their lives.  Some cats avoid places they have been hurt or frightened. Has you kitty reacted to the toilet or other things that were used in the abuse?

No, I have not noticed him react adversely to the toilet, litter box, blankets, sink etc. Since it all went down in the 'cat room' I think he has more memories of nice things in there than bad...I hope

 

[furmonster mom]

 
I understand what you are saying, but I also understand Fluffybeard's concerns. 
 
Nevertheless, I understand the inclination to keep that as a separate issue, difficult as it may be. 

The kitten is indeed the focus in this particular place.  I agree that he will most likely bounce back on account of his positive and loving family environment.

 

[winstonsmommy]

 

Nothing against you at all, just wanted to make sure it was clear we have taken care of the young girl as well...she and Winston have healing to do