Why doesn't my kitten want to sleep with me anymore?

[crizze]

Hello!
I have my baby kitty who's no longer so little anymore, who used to sleep with me on my bed, next to my head, on the pillow, every night from the first night he was at home with me. But not anymore...

I got him at around 2 months old, and he's a little over 4 months old now. I noticed since maybe 2 weeks ago, he no longer sleeps with me. He usually would get in the bed a little while after I got myself comfy, but now he sleeps in his carrier or the bed in his cat scratching post.

He has his cat carrier in the room, available for him to get in and sleep in there, and he actually likes to use it as a bed and goes there at night now, or during day time too.

Also, he doesn't seem to be mad at me or avoiding me at all. This morning I woke up at 5 am, realized he wasn't there, and got him from the carrier into bed with me because I wanted to cuddle him. He started purring and sucking on my earlobe and kneading me (he's been doing that since I got him. Vet said it was baby behavior, remembering his mommy.  I let him, I don't mind it. It's cute~), so he obviously likes to be in the bed with me.

This evening he slept on top of me during a nap, purring up a storm, licking me and cuddling a lot, and he usually loves to get cuddly any time.

So I don't understand why is it that he doesn't wanna go to bed at night with me anymore
He's always been super cuddly and loving with me, so I can't help but feel a little bit hurt that he'd rather sleep alone...

Google search told me that he might be more independent now and sleeping on his own "to prove" he's a big boy now and doesn't need me as much anymore since he already feels safe and secure at home. If that's so, will it always be like this?

It sounds like a good thing, if that's so, but... I miss him at night.

I'd appreciate some insight, please
 

 

[betsygee]

Cats go through phases.  I love it when mine sleep with me, but they do sometimes go through times when they want to sleep under the bed, or on the couch in another room, or wherever.  But they often come back again.  Because he's not sleeping with you now doesn't mean he won't be back.  

 

[verna davies]

Betsygee is absolutely right. One of my cats always slept on my pillow then decided she wanted to sleep on the floor. Now she is back on my bed. It doesn't mean they don't love you but cats are very independent and only they decide what they want to do.

 

[tabbytom]

Yup, agree with betsygee and verna davis. My 7 1/2 month old kitten does that too he conquered my contour pillow which I gladly let him have it and he sleeps next to me every night. 2 hours later, he gets up and paw at my wardrobe and I have to open it and in he goes to continue his sleep. Short while later, he's next to me on his pillow again. Then later he's in the bathroom sleeping and then up on the bed and around 2am, he'll meow to get the door open so that he can go to sleep and play.
So it's pretty normal for them to change places when they sleep.

 

[verna davies]

TabbyTom. You must be tired with such a demanding cat. The things we do for them.[emoji]9786[/emoji]

 

[tabbytom]

TabbyTom. You must be tired with such a demanding cat. The things we do for them.[emoji]9786[/emoji]

Oh boy, you sure I am. Sometimes I just leave all doors ajar so that he can come and go without me opening doors for him and right on the dot at 5:20am, he's next to my ear meowing, 'hey, wake up you lazy bum, I'm hungry. Quick, feed me'. LOL

 

[crizze]

 
Cats go through phases.  I love it when mine sleep with me, but they do sometimes go through times when they want to sleep under the bed, or on the couch in another room, or wherever.  But they often come back again.  Because he's not sleeping with you now doesn't mean he won't be back.  

I see!
His carrier is in my bedroom, like almost right next to my bed. There's a nightstand in between. And the scratching post is right next to that. I guess I'm lucky he still hangs out in my room.
Thank you for your reply!
 

Betsygee is absolutely right. One of my cats always slept on my pillow then decided she wanted to sleep on the floor. Now she is back on my bed. It doesn't mean they don't love you but cats are very independent and only they decide what they want to do.

I guess I got so used to having him next to me at night, that having him gone all of a sudden is strange. And the carrier is super close to me. I could hear him purring inside the carrier last night. So he's obviously comfy. 
I hope he'll come back to sleep with me eventually...

Thanks! c:

 

Yup, agree with betsygee and verna davis. My 7 1/2 month old kitten does that too he conquered my contour pillow which I gladly let him have it and he sleeps next to me every night. 2 hours later, he gets up and paw at my wardrobe and I have to open it and in he goes to continue his sleep. Short while later, he's next to me on his pillow again. Then later he's in the bathroom sleeping and then up on the bed and around 2am, he'll meow to get the door open so that he can go to sleep and play.
So it's pretty normal for them to change places when they sleep.

Oh my, that sounds like so much work!
I got my kitty used to sleeping at night, so he doesn't make messes or lots of noise at night anymore. I do think he goes to the litter box and to drink water at night, sometimes I hear that, but then he goes right back to bed. I used to notice those things more when he slept in bed with me tho.

Only in the morning does he make a fuss, for breakfast, but I have an alarm for that and he starts meowing as soon as it rings lol

I guess I'll have to wait and see if he comes back to sleeping with me.
He comes back to bed sometimes at night, but for cuddles, and kneading and sucking my earlobe, and it's pretty hard/impossible for me to sleep when he does that, so I just cuddle him till it's too much. Then I cover my ear with a pillow, and he gets off the bed and back to his own lol

Thanks for your reply

 

[tabbytom]

Oh my, that sounds like so much work!

Anyway, I'm a light sleeper. If he doesn't make any noise, other sounds will wake me up.
So sometimes I just leave him wherever he is lying down asleep and I just leave my bedroom door ajar. I let him roam freely in the house.

 

[ritz]

I remember the first time Ritz didn't share my bed; I felt sad and very lonely.
I do know that Ritz (and now, my much younger cat Dahalia) tend to sleep with me only when the weather is cool or cold: body warmth!

 

[losna]

I've found Sinbad's sleeping preferences are seasonal. He sleeps snuggled with me in the winter, and he migrates to the floor for most of the night during the summer. Then come fall he moves back to snuggling.

 

[catlover73]

I have 4 cats and only one of them sleeps on my bed every single night.  Sonny sleeps on top of our bed all the time.  Apollo goes through phases where he will only sleep downstairs on top of our couch.  Then he will come to bed after I fall asleep sometimes. I wake up in the morning and sometimes he is sleeping on top of the bed in between us.  Sometimes he will only come in and snuggle with my hubby for a little while and then retreats to the couch.  When we first adopted Apollo he would snuggle with us in bed and then curl up at the bottom of the bed right next to Sonny.

Casey sometimes snuggles with daddy for a little bit and then goes off to sleep on top of  our headboard.  Sometimes he comes in the bedroom and kneads on me while I am laying down watching tv and snuggles on my pillow for a little bit.  There are other times I wake up in the morning and find him sleeping on the rug in my bathroom.  If  I am laying on the couch watching tv he starts kneading on me and lays down to take a nap.

Starbuck used to sleep with us every night.  Sometimes if I bring her to bed she will stay and sleep on my pillow.  Other times she will runs away and sleeps on my office chair.  Sometimes she waits for hubby to come to bed and then snuggles on her shelf in our headboard.  Sometimes she sleeps on my hubby's head.  Other times she will come to bed when we are asleep and she is on the pillow next to you when you wake up. She is 9 years old when she was a baby kitten she slept between us under the blankets every night.

Cats go through phases with where they sleep it does not mean they care less about us suddenly if they stop sleeping on the bed with us.  I know it is hard but just try to let your baby sleep where he wants and I would not be surprised if he suddenly decides he wants to sleep with you.

 

[govtlawyer]

She is just being a cat.  She is a free spirit.  My 8 month old Lucy is very affectionate.  She jumps into my arms everyday when I am at the computer.  Except, a week and a half ago she just stopped.  I wondered what was going on.  Two days ago she started doing it again.  I just let her be.  In the winter when my apartment gets chilly I know she'll sleep with me.  All my cats have and she will too.  I just let her be.

 

[steph1973]

I think everything has to do with room temperature. Our cat normally sleeps on our bed, he loves curling up on my legs. However recently I've noticed that when it gets really hot he pops into the laundry basket where it's dark, cool and more importantly smells of us.
Don't get upset about him not sleeping with you. Cats like to change their sleeping habits. At some point he'll be back but you have to be prepared he'll find a new place and be off again. Notice however, cats change their habits with the seasons.

 

[crizze]

Just a couple of days ago, Atlas started sleeping with me again at night! 

I woke up one night and he was there like always. Then I woke up again and he was under the sheets with me, curling up in my arms~

I have no idea what changed, since it is winter over here, and it's not like the room temperature changes much. Must have been a phase thingy. 

The other day I woke up in the middle of the night, and he wasn't around, not even in his carrier or the cat bed, so I got up to check where he had gone to. My brother's door was open, wich doesn't happen often, so I looked inside. Found him curled up in the pillow next to my brother's head, just like when he sleeps with me lol

Now he alternates sometimes at night. Goes to sleep inside his carrier, and I wake up at night with him next to my face. Sometimes he sleeps on the carpet too. Or he goes directly to sleep on my pillow again. 
Guess I'll get used to him just changing places from time to time. I'm just glad he came back to make me company c:

 

[betsygee]

Oh, I'm glad to hear that.  

   I usually have anywhere from one to three with me at night but sometimes none of them will be there.  They're independent little critters, that's for sure.  

 

[tabbytom]

I think they choose where they want to sleep. My boy at times refuse to come into the room no matter how you much coax him and beg him, he'll never want to come in. So I just leave my bedroom door ajar. After awhile, like an hour or so, I open my eyes and he's next to me fast asleep without me knowing that he was up on the bed :lol3:

 

[NewYork1303]

My cats only sleep with me when it is cold out. Although the temperature inside isn't any different they seem to sense the change in the weather. They sleep mostly on their window perches or on the cat tower in our room for now since it is summer here. Angua does come to cuddle with me in the morning sometimes and will curl up under the blankets with me. Carrot is also an under blankets cat and will cuddle under there if I am awake and in bed.