Why does Grief hurt so much?

[kittyprincesss]

It has been 4 long months.

I miss you. I miss you, my sweet girl. My darling soulmate.
Who am I, if I'm not your mom? I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what to do since you left me.
It's hard for me to come back here to this site, because I spent so much time talking about your health here. Our journey. Our highs, our lows, our love story.
I didn't know that last year would have been our last Christmas together. I didn't know this was my last birthday with you.
I am so broken. I am still so broken 4 months later.
I didn't take enough videos of you, or photos. I have thousands but it doesn't feel like enough.
The past few days I find myself feeling broken even more so.
I watch our videos, and I see how happy I was with you. I was so happy when you were with me.
I miss you...I miss your big meow that I never believed could come from such a small girl.
You were my baby. You were my 5 pound babygirl.
14 years wasn't enough, my love. It wasn't.
I miss you so much.
How will I live knowing I won't ever see you again in this physical realm?
I haven't dreamt of you in a long time, it hurts.
You were my first baby.
Who am I without you?
It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that your poor body couldn't keep going.
My hands miss you so much, my love.
My lips miss kissing your sweet little cheekbones.
My love, what do I do now?
I am broken. I am so broken.
I broke down sobbing the other night to your dad, asking him "will I always miss her? Will it always hurt this much?"
I wish you could come back to me. I have never felt Grief this heavy. I feel like I'm drowning ever since you took your last breathe. I miss you my love. I miss you so much. You were my beautiful girl.

 

[Maria Bayote]

Thank you for this post. I was crying while reading. Makes me want to run back to the house and hug my Bourbon so tightly. I do not know what I will do if I lost her, too. So I can feel your pain, because even now that Bourbon is with me I cannot imagine my life without her.

I know it is easy for me to tell you this, but I pray that you would recover from this grief soon. Your beloved cat would not want you to dwell on this sadness for a long time. You can cry, write poetry, compose songs, even travel locally with camera to capture anything beautiful out there - so you can at least have something to work your mind to.

Grief will never really go away. It just gets mellow in time. All you can do is hold on to happy memories so soon you can just remember your dearly departed cat with more of a smile, than of tears. She is out there in an endless fields of grasses and blooms, waiting for you to be reunited again at the right time.

Hang in there. This too, shall pass.

 

[kittyprincesss]

Thank you for this post. I was crying while reading. Makes me want to run back to the house and hug my Bourbon so tightly. I do not know what I will do if I lost her, too. So I can feel your pain, because even now that Bourbon is with me I cannot imagine my life without her.

I know it is easy for me to tell you this, but I pray that you would recover from this grief soon. Your beloved cat would not want you to dwell on this sadness for a long time. You can cry, write poetry, compose songs, even travel locally with camera to capture anything beautiful out there - so you can at least have something to work your mind to.

Grief will never really go away. It just gets mellow in time. All you can do is hold on to happy memories so soon you can just remember your dearly departed cat with more of a smile, than of tears. She is out there in an endless fields of grasses and blooms, waiting for you to be reunited again at the right time.

Hang in there. This too, shall pass.

She changed my life. She made me who I am today. She changed how I measure time, because now time is seen as how long I have been without her. Hug your baby for me, Bourbon must already know how deeply your love is. This part of your reply made me sob, "She is out there in an endless fields of grasses and blooms, waiting for you to be reunited again at the right time." I pray so hard that I'll be with her again one day. That when my time comes I can open my eyes in the other realm and see her beautiful green loving eyes. She was, and will forever be, my greatest love story. She saved my life, so many times. She was my reason for staying, when I felt like giving up. Thank you, with all of my heart for your kind words. The love I have for this community is so strong, because you never make me feel like I am alone or being too dramatic about my loss.

 

[Maria Bayote]

She changed my life. She made me who I am today. She changed how I measure time, because now time is seen as how long I have been without her. Hug your baby for me, Bourbon must already know how deeply your love is. This part of your reply made me sob, "She is out there in an endless fields of grasses and blooms, waiting for you to be reunited again at the right time." I pray so hard that I'll be with her again one day. That when my time comes I can open my eyes in the other realm and see her beautiful green loving eyes. She was, and will forever be, my greatest love story. She saved my life, so many times. She was my reason for staying, when I felt like giving up. Thank you, with all of my heart for your kind words. The love I have for this community is so strong, because you never make me feel like I am alone or being too dramatic about my loss.

You can do this. We are all here for you. If you need someone to talk to, we will be here, virtually.
She is looking out for you as your angel. She will continuously be with you in spirit. It will be better soon. Not totally, but better.

Sending you my hugs and prayers.

 

[di and bob]

I have always likened grief to the ocean, the beginning of all living things, and a part of all things living too. It will be the worst storm in your life at the beginning, one that tosses you this way and that and sucks you down into its depths until you know with certainty you will be taking your last breathe. It then spits you out, broken and spent, just barely alive. You float on its surface for a time, the water warm and placid, eventually gaining hope you will be OK and finally get your feet upon the shore of living once more. Then WHAM, a tsunami of grief overwhelms you enough to take your breathe away, to drag you once more down into the depths.
The ocean can be a beautiful, peaceful place, or a horrifying nightmare from which you never wake......
At the beginning of grief, you are broken. your world as you know it is completely shattered. You don't know if you can ever put the pieces back together again, it seems like an impossible task. And you really don't know if you even want to...........but eventually, in time, that world will begin to come back together on its own. Because life is for the living, and our souls will always yearn for what life has to offer, something that seems just out of our grasp. With time and a little effort, we eventually come to terms with our grief, replace that gaping hole in our existence with the beauty and wonder that is always there for us but is hidden under a mountain of despair and tears that will not let our eyes see what is before us. It often is the day to day routine we must get through to exist, though at times we resent even that because it takes our focus off of what we lost and what is our world now. In time, the love that is in our present world begins to fill that hole. Not ever replacing it, because that can never be, that lost love is always present, a beautiful part of the past that is set in stone and can never change. Residing alongside it, adding to it, and allowing it to grow even stronger, because we cannot sustain grief forever, our souls cannot bear such pain without finding a way to relieve it. Instead of focusing on the death and making it our world, making it more important than the life, it turns to the life journey we spent with our little ones and gratefully gives thanks for that journey, having shared a love that few get to truly experience. The death is but a moment in that journey, the journey we shared to get there is much more important, was, and always will be our world. For eternity.
But all this takes time....and a lot of it. For some, much, much longer. Some people get to the place where they have peace once more in their hearts much faster than others. But one thing is certain, our loved ones are at peace because they have our love., and always will. They will forever send love our way, it is up to us to accept it, to allow it to heal that huge hole they create when they leave us. But first, we have to allow life to come back to our world, to bring love once more to triumph over the pain. Even if we never love like that again, we will always have what we had forever. We never replace or forget a love like that, we add another chapter to our book of life. Build upon it, help it to grow. But that takes time. Those of us who have traveled this journey before, wrote those chapters, know what a chore this is. But we can write our own happy endings, we have to do it ourselves because it is our own private diary. It takes that first step towards healing, and each person has their own chartered course and timetable. It all starts with time, and lots of it, one day at a time..........

 

[les26]

We all understand the great feeling of loss and sadness and all of the bad emotions that come with losing our special little friends, it hurts like hell and unfortunately it must, there is just no easy way around it, as badly as it hurts it has to come out of us, come out of our "systems" by crying and feeling sad and depressed and anxious and all of the mental and physical emotions that we have and the only thing that helps is time, there is no way for us to "speed it up" or rush through it, it unfortunately takes as long as it has to take, and we feel it when all of our cats pass on but when we have a special bond with them it is magnified 100 times, I have felt it many times over the years, felt the grief for all of our losses, some more than others, it depends on the circumstances but we feel it for all of them; some I got over quicker than others, some took a long time. And as much as I try to say the right things and console people on here I know when my Sylvester goes I will be devastated, he is my special friend for several reasons, is only a little over 7 years old but I also know death can strike them at any age, I just try to keep him healthy and love him up everyday, but when he goes I honestly do not know how I will cope with it; I hope that day is years down the road but I know that I will have to deal with it someday and I am not loking forward to it.

What happened with the loss of Simon and Sebastian, the two boys that Sylvester resembles if you combined them together, what helped in that case was to get another cat, even though we already had a bunch. For some reason that helped me over their loss. I don't know if you have any other cats, and if you don't getting another one right now is probably not on your mind as you must grieve, but I have a feeling that in time another one will find it's way to you so that you can pour the love from your huge heart on it just like you did for the one that you just lost.

And Google Holy Basil and the homeopathic remedy Ignatia Amara, natural ways to help deal with the grief and stress.

I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless......

 

[Maria Bayote]

I have always likened grief to the ocean, the beginning of all living things, and a part of all things living too. It will be the worst storm in your life at the beginning, one that tosses you this way and that and sucks you down into its depths until you know with certainty you will be taking your last breathe. It then spits you out, broken and spent, just barely alive. You float on its surface for a time, the water warm and placid, eventually gaining hope you will be OK and finally get your feet upon the shore of living once more. Then WHAM, a tsunami of grief overwhelms you enough to take your breathe away, to drag you once more down into the depths.
The ocean can be a beautiful, peaceful place, or a horrifying nightmare from which you never wake......
At the beginning of grief, you are broken. your world as you know it is completely shattered. You don't know if you can ever put the pieces back together again, it seems like an impossible task. And you really don't know if you even want to...........but eventually, in time, that world will begin to come back together on its own. Because life is for the living, and our souls will always yearn for what life has to offer, something that seems just out of our grasp. With time and a little effort, we eventually come to terms with our grief, replace that gaping hole in our existence with the beauty and wonder that is always there for us but is hidden under a mountain of despair and tears that will not let our eyes see what is before us. It often is the day to day routine we must get through to exist, though at times we resent even that because it takes our focus off of what we lost and what is our world now. In time, the love that is in our present world begins to fill that hole. Not ever replacing it, because that can never be, that lost love is always present, a beautiful part of the past that is set in stone and can never change. Residing alongside it, adding to it, and allowing it to grow even stronger, because we cannot sustain grief forever, our souls cannot bear such pain without finding a way to relieve it. Instead of focusing on the death and making it our world, making it more important than the life, it turns to the life journey we spent with our little ones and gratefully gives thanks for that journey, having shared a love that few get to truly experience. The death is but a moment in that journey, the journey we shared to get there is much more important, was, and always will be our world. For eternity.
But all this takes time....and a lot of it. For some, much, much longer. Some people get to the place where they have peace once more in their hearts much faster than others. But one thing is certain, our loved ones are at peace because they have our love., and always will. They will forever send love our way, it is up to us to accept it, to allow it to heal that huge hole they create when they leave us. But first, we have to allow life to come back to our world, to bring love once more to triumph over the pain. Even if we never love like that again, we will always have what we had forever. We never replace or forget a love like that, we add another chapter to our book of life. Build upon it, help it to grow. But that takes time. Those of us who have traveled this journey before, wrote those chapters, know what a chore this is. But we can write our own happy endings, we have to do it ourselves because it is our own private diary. It takes that first step towards healing, and each person has their own chartered course and timetable. It all starts with time, and lots of it, one day at a time..........

This is so beautiful.

 

[BellaGooch]

Oh honey.
I am so sorry. I so wish I could give you a hug. My heart aches for you- for what you’re going through. It is so plain that you gave her an excellent life, and it’s so clear that you loved her so dearly. Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk or if you need somebody to listen.
I will most definitely be praying for you. Sending you so much loves and so many hugs

 

[di and bob]

We just all want you to know there is hope for the future. It takes a long time to mend a broken heart, and there will always be a scar.......

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Sweet Baby Girl, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on your mama's heart forever.

Oh, my Dear, I so wish I could tell you that the grief passes, but it does not. We do not "get over," we "get through." With time, and everyone's "time" is different, the raw edge of it will lessen, the tearing feeling will pass. For the most part. Although it may catch you unawares for the rest of your life. I still grieve my doggy sister, who we had to have euthanized in her 14th year...47 years ago. Most of the time I think of her with a smile now, but occasionally the tears still come.

This I will tell you, it is the deepest Truth I know, that love does not die, it only changes form and continues on, still Love. Her love for you, now translated and purified into Love, she sends back to you where it will remain until you meet again. Because Love abides, always, forever, Love abides. And you will meet again, in the fullness of time. Until that time comes, I shall ask my Dad, who was a cat whisperer before anyone dreamt of such a thing, to make sure your girl is well-loved!

 

[les26]

Just checking to see how you are doing and feeling now?

 

[kittyprincesss]

Just checking to see how you are doing and feeling now?

I finally built up the strength to come back to this beautiful site, and am left in a puddle of tears rereading the responses all the wonderful souls here sent to me. It has been 1 year, 4 months, and 6 days since my soulmate left. I came back tonight because the grief is still as strong as ever, it feels like I just lost her yesterday. I am sleeping next to her urn tonight, to try and feel closer to her. I miss her so much, every single day and I wish so badly she was here. Thank you, for caring about my beautiful flower petal, and our everlasting love story.

 

[di and bob]

We all care, we have all been where you are now. She would never want to bring you such pain. Try to go into the future living as you would have wanted for her to live if you were the first to go. She only wants happiness for you. Each year that goes by will heal your heart a little more, sometimes it seems unending, but eventually, your happy memories will take over the bad. The soul cannot sustain such pain forever, it will bring light as sure as the sun rises each morning. My heart aches for you.....

 

[vansX2]

I finally built up the strength to come back to this beautiful site, and am left in a puddle of tears rereading the responses all the wonderful souls here sent to me. It has been 1 year, 4 months, and 6 days since my soulmate left. I came back tonight because the grief is still as strong as ever, it feels like I just lost her yesterday. I am sleeping next to her urn tonight, to try and feel closer to her. I miss her so much, every single day and I wish so badly she was here. Thank you, for caring about my beautiful flower petal, and our everlasting love story.

Maybe now that so much time has passed could you be open to another sweet kitty in your life?

 

[kittyprincesss]

Maybe now that so much time has passed could you be open to another sweet kitty in your life?

Unfortunately, in November this year I suffered the loss of her father who was almost 20. The grief from both are still far too fresh for me to think about loving a new soul

 

[vansX2]

Unfortunately, in November this year I suffered the loss of her father who was almost 20. The grief from both are still far too fresh for me to think about loving a new soul

But dwelling on the past doesn't that make you feel bad and emotional ?

 

[kittyprincesss]

But dwelling on the past doesn't that make you feel bad and emotional ?

I just had the remainder of my soul ripped away from me not even a full 2 months ago....I am not ready to be the mother of a new baby. Whether I dwell on the past or not, I will always be emotional in regards to my children. To think about loving someone new, all I feel is pain for the loss I have had. Thats not fair to an innocent baby who did nothing. Just like they give unconditional love, they deserve it too. My love is just too entangled with my grief right now. It is utterly painful to imagine a new soul here, to lose them too one day.

 

[gusmom]

It has been 4 long months.

I miss you. I miss you, my sweet girl. My darling soulmate.
Who am I, if I'm not your mom? I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what to do since you left me.
It's hard for me to come back here to this site, because I spent so much time talking about your health here. Our journey. Our highs, our lows, our love story.
I didn't know that last year would have been our last Christmas together. I didn't know this was my last birthday with you.
I am so broken. I am still so broken 4 months later.
I didn't take enough videos of you, or photos. I have thousands but it doesn't feel like enough.
The past few days I find myself feeling broken even more so.
I watch our videos, and I see how happy I was with you. I was so happy when you were with me.
I miss you...I miss your big meow that I never believed could come from such a small girl.
You were my baby. You were my 5 pound babygirl.
14 years wasn't enough, my love. It wasn't.
I miss you so much.
How will I live knowing I won't ever see you again in this physical realm?
I haven't dreamt of you in a long time, it hurts.
You were my first baby.
Who am I without you?
It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that your poor body couldn't keep going.
My hands miss you so much, my love.
My lips miss kissing your sweet little cheekbones.
My love, what do I do now?
I am broken. I am so broken.
I broke down sobbing the other night to your dad, asking him "will I always miss her? Will it always hurt this much?"
I wish you could come back to me. I have never felt Grief this heavy. I feel like I'm drowning ever since you took your last breathe. I miss you my love. I miss you so much. You were my beautiful girl.

I just had the remainder of my soul ripped away from me not even a full 2 months ago....I am not ready to be the mother of a new baby. Whether I dwell on the past or not, I will always be emotional in regards to my children. To think about loving someone new, all I feel is pain for the loss I have had. Thats not fair to an innocent baby who did nothing. Just like they give unconditional love, they deserve it too. My love is just too entangled with my grief right now. It is utterly painful to imagine a new soul here, to lose them too one day.

I just had the remainder of my soul ripped away from me not even a full 2 months ago....I am not ready to be the mother of a new baby. Whether I dwell on the past or not, I will always be emotional in regards to my children. To think about loving someone new, all I feel is pain for the loss I have had. Thats not fair to an innocent baby who did nothing. Just like they give unconditional love, they deserve it too. My love is just too entangled with my grief right now. It is utterly painful to imagine a new soul here, to lose them too one day.

My heart breaks with you..yes to everything you write. I am thinking of the song words:”only love can break your heart”. I thank the universe for people like you who love so deeply.

 

[kittyprincesss]

My heart breaks with you..yes to everything you write. I am thinking of the song words:”only love can break your heart”. I thank the universe for people like you who love so deeply.

Thank you kind friend, my babies are the sole reason why I love so heavily. They taught me how, and I am forever in their debt for that lesson. Its true, only love can really truly break your heart. Have a blessed day