Which Would Be Less Cruel?

[mattig89ch]

Hello all,

So I'm internviewing for a job on the other side of the country. If I were to move out there, I could make my dollar go alot further by not taking him with me.

Now I have an orange cat named Borris. He had 2 previous owners, and has really bonded to me. While he has been with me, he's gotten used to having an entire house to run around in. And he does, when he has some energy he needs to burn off.

He sleeps with me, he turns upside down and lets me rub his belly, he lets me rub his paws, he even lets me hold him for a few minutes (something he doesn't let anyone else do). Now he likes my parents, but he's always waiting for me by the door, crying for attention.

And I have to admit I'm torn. If I took him with me, for a 3 day car ride, then to an unfamiliar living space, which would be a single room, he might go into shock or something. But, like I've said, he's really bonded to me. So I wanted to ask, which would be less cruel. Leaving him with the people he likes, in a giant house. Or taking him with me, to a one room apartment, on a cross-country road trip, in a crate the entire time.

 

[verna davies]

In your position I would leave him with your parents. He is familiar with them and the home and if you are not there, he may become closer to them. If you take him with you, apart from the extremely stressful journey, new and limited space, you will be in work and he will be on his own most of the time.

 

[MissClouseau]

I agree with verna davies. It's not like you will never visit anyway.

A giant house he got use to 24/7 with the people he likes sounds better than being alone in a small apartment and spending some hours with his favorite person.

 

[silkenpaw]

I can only tell you what I did. I moved with my two cats 3 times, from a student apartment, to a large apartment with a 3 story house to run around in, back to student housing and to another house. They could have stayed with my mother but they were my cats and my home was their home.

 

[FeebysOwner]

It's a decision only you can ultimately make. But, if you do choose to leave him with your parents, please have them start taking over some of the care-taking responsibilities - a little at first, then more and more - so that he learns to rely on them as much as he obviously does you now. That includes play time too.

You can even try things like intermixing some worn, unwashed clothing of theirs with yours and leaving both in places he likes to hang out in. Kind of like establishing another connection with them that he has with you.

I hope your parents are amenable to him sleeping with them - he might just start to do that once you have left!! If not, hopefully, you can set up a little bed in their room that he might adapt to instead of their bed.

 

[Maria Bayote]

I would also go with leaving him behind, but only if you are sure that your cat would be kept indoors or at least on a leash when outside, so you would stop worrying from afar if your cat has returned home, etc. I am sure your parents would now have the chance to bond with him much further.

Try to leave any used clothes you have. And each time you visit replace with another used cloth. That way you will always be “close” to him, and your bond lingers even when you are temporarily separated. It is gonna be really hard for a while, for you and most probably for him. But knowing he is much safer and happy with the people he knows and in a place he considers his home then it would get easier as time goes by.

 

[fionasmom]

I have read that cats bond to places very strongly and agree that if you can safely and happily leave Borris with your parents he will be more comfortable.

 

[mattig89ch]

Thanks for the responses all. I was leaning towards letting him stay, but this kinda sealed it.

I'll miss him, and he'll miss me. But it seems cruel to subject him to a 3 day car ride, in a crate, and then to bring him to a completely unfamiliar place on top of that. Ah well, I could always think about adopting once I get there.

 

[neely]

It's a decision only you can ultimately make.

I cannot echo this statement enough. I understand you wanting to get opinions from other members, some of whom have had to make a similar decision, but in the end follow your gut and do what you feel is best for Borris. I sincerely wish you the best of luck on your job interview and possible move.

 

[Maria Bayote]

Thanks for the responses all. I was leaning towards letting him stay, but this kinda sealed it.

I'll miss him, and he'll miss me. But it seems cruel to subject him to a 3 day car ride, in a crate, and then to bring him to a completely unfamiliar place on top of that. Ah well, I could always think about adopting once I get there.

Once you have settled in your new place and your new job, who knows you could get a much bigger place and might possibly get your Borris to live with you. For now you can have at least time to adjust for yourself, so when you decide one day to bring in Borris you will be able to help him adjust as well. Goodluck and hoping for the very best for you.

 

[Rhall]

Sounds like you've made your decision but I agree. I think the clincher her is - it's with your parents whom you trust to love him. To give him away to strangers wouldn't work - but you will still get to see him. Good luck on your new endeavour!

 

[Purr-fect]

Thanks for the responses all. I was leaning towards letting him stay, but this kinda sealed it.

I'll miss him, and he'll miss me. But it seems cruel to subject him to a 3 day car ride, in a crate, and then to bring him to a completely unfamiliar place on top of that. Ah well, I could always think about adopting once I get there.

Inagree with your decision.

Its often said cats would rather change owners than homes. I strongly suspect the 3 day car ride in a cage, change of venue, small living area compared to the current large home and lack of company as you will be working, will all combine to create health issues.

 

[danteshuman]

It is a hard one. How old is Borris? I tried moving my 14 ye old cat Salem & he was NOT happy. He hid for 2 days straight and was barely eating. So I arranged for my mom to take him back home. I visit once a week and love on him but he is happier there (plus she got to get rid of a kitten!)

Now before Dante died all of a sudden the plan had always been to leave Salem with my mom since my HUD apartment only allows one pet (& he is a man living cat that LOVES my step dad.)
Here he is happy at my mom’s house and glaring at Jackie ...., telling my young teen kitten that he owned this lap for over a decade before him!

I think in your case if he he young, and you are the one he follows every where and you are the only one who pets him , take him with you. If he likes your parents and is a senior cat, leave him behind and see how he does.