When the moment comes...

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gareth

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I know you have heard it so many times. The beautiful, loving and incredibly empathic essay/letter you wrote healed my heart both before and after my heart-rinding decision. It has spead through-out the world. It has been such a gift. Thank you.
You are more than welcome.
 

gordonsmom

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Gareth - I found your original post 4 years ago when I lost one of my cats - and have come back to read it occasionally as needed. A person very close to me lost her 5 year old dog suddenly last week and I copied your post to send to her. I substituted the word "dog" for "cat" - I hope you don't mind, but I also told her I did so and credited the post to you.
Thank you for being a sounding board for so many of us - that your message still lasts this many years after you posted it is a tribute not only to your way with words, but especially for your caring heart.
 

Kitty Mommy

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I just read this post for the first time and all I can say is WOW. What a heartfelt statement it is. I am so moved by what was written. Thank you for sharing it.
 

quill_luv

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I've been reading this over and over again - preparing myself. It's given me strength to go forward, even though every time I read it I end up in tears, yet stronger nonetheless. I am going to give this to the vet when the time comes to put Quill to sleep.
 

angels mommy

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Wow, Thanks for bumping this up you guys. I don't know how I ever missed this.
Like @libby74 said, I too don't visit here much, because it's just too painful. But then I think that I should try sometimes, because I want to be here for others, Like so many of my wonderful friends here were & are always here for me!

Beautifully written! Thank You! It's hard to believe that coming up on Feb 5th will be two years already that my sweet boy Angel has crossed over. I still have my moments. I believe he sent little Sammie to me that 7 months later to help heal my heart. She has definitely filled that love void!
A dear friend of mine just lost her cat last week. I will send her this link. :rbheart:
Thank You!
 

CalicoHaley

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A note for those who have lost a cat, or are worrying about when that moment comes.

When we decide to share our lives with a cat, we are making a decision to break our own hearts. That's not melodrama. At some point, that bundle of fur will get under your skin. It doesn't matter how big and tough you are. I've seen British Army Special Forces soldiers cradling their beloved cats with tears in their eyes, hoping against hope that something will put off that fateful moment when they must part. I've seen busy mothers of five children who rule their household with an iron fist reduced to bawling children because they miss their cat. At some point, that cat will work its magic. Its eyes will connect with yours. Its head will rub against yours. Its heart will connect with yours. At that point, you secretly swear your devotion to the animal. It comes under your protection, and you will sacrifice anything to keep it safe. In return, the cat will share that look with you. The one that says "I love you too". That's a special gift, and unless you have been loved by a cat, it is a meaningless one. But if you HAVE been loved by a cat, then you know the value of that gift. It means that the cat will give you a lifetime of love. They will literally spend their entire life in your company. You will feed them, protect them, keep them warm and safe. And they will give you their entire life.

Their entire life. That's their commitment. And what is yours? Easy, you commit to the knowledge that at some point in the future you will be given a terrible decision to make. That decision will be the last you make for your cat. That decision will result in a transference of pain and suffering. You will take away all the pain and suffering of your cat, and you will begin a process of pain and suffering yourself. That's the price for the look. When they look in your eyes with love, that terrible decision is the price. It's a moment that all cat owners dread, but a moment that comes to us all.

So should we feel bad when our cat passes on? Of course we should. We are losing someone we loved, and someone that loved us. The grief will be terrible, but it will be transient. It WILL pass. You will then be left with memories. Some of these memories will bring you tears. Some of these memories will make you laugh. But the pain and the suffering will fade.

So when the moment comes, you have to find a strength within yourself. You're about to do something incredible. You're about to give a display of love and devotion rarely equalled. You will be given a decision about whether to allow your pet to suffer and thus save your own pain, or whether to remove all pain and suffering from the cat, and take it on yourself. If the time is right, you will know, and you will make the right decision. And then you should be so proud of yourself. In the midst of your own grief, and suffering, you should take such strength from the knowledge that when the moment came, you decided to choose your cat's welfare in favour of your own. What greater love can any pet owner display?

So for those that think they have to make that decision soon, take strength. Know that your moment has come. The moment where you wrap up all the love and devotion you have for your cat into one incredible moment and do what's right. For those on the other side of that decision, then well done. I'm proud of you, and your cat would be proud of you, too. Your cat is forever pain-free. You are in pain, but I promise it will pass. Don't worry, some of us know how bad that pain is. You are not alone, and we know how much it hurts. It's terrible, but it will pass. Then you will have the memories, which you should treasure.

I like to think one day I will be re-united with my pets. There will be no crashing together as we run towards each other as in the rainbow bridge poem. There will be no kisses. We will simply give each other that look. The look that says "I love you, and now I know how much you love me"
Thank you so much for posting this. I'm in both sad and happy tears. We had to make the best choice for our girl today and I just hope she knows how much we loved her, and that we loved her as much as she loved us.
 

catsknowme

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True love is letting go when we are willing to end their pain even though it means the beginning of ours. And a peaceful passing is a gift; the love that you showed your sweet princess will last through eternity. Feel free to PM anyone of us, anytime.
 

riley1

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Thank you so much for posting this. I'm in both sad and happy tears. We had to make the best choice for our girl today and I just hope she knows how much we loved her, and that we loved her as much as she loved us.
Of course she knew how much you loved her! Helping her leave this world peacefully is the last gift we can give them. I truly believe they stay with us for awhile to ease their passing! She may be right next to you now.
 

munch64

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This was lovely and just what I needed right now. Exactly two weeks ago, we had to euthanize our sweet Siamese girl, Gwennie. She was almost 15. We adopted her in January 2016. I had posted about her once before, in 2016, when she had pancreatitis. She'd lived with a bad case of IBD since then, and when she got sick two weeks ago and stopped eating, I thought maybe the pancreatitis had crept back for her. No. It was acute kidney failure. After an overnight stay at the vet getting fluids and antibiotics, we checked her BUN and creatinine and they were worse. Almost off the charts. Vet recommended euthanasia. As others have said, it was an extremely difficult decision to make. We actually brought her home and had someone come there to carry it out. We thought she'd be more comfortable. II think she was. I've had the same feelings of guilt and "what if" that so many others mention here. She was always so spunky. Neurotic, really. But she loved me dearly and I was her favorite thing in the world. She was my girl. She always came when I called to her. I came when she called to me. She'd lay on my lap for 10 hours a day if I let her. The last week she was with us, she had been extra clingy and cuddly and purry with me. She was still eating well and acting pretty normal, but I wonder if her kidneys were starting to go. I had told my co-worker that week that it was like she was planning our marriage or something. Or a BFF commitment ceremony. I used to joke with people that I wouldn't be surprised if I came home from work one day and she was wearing my clothes. And that she wanted me to quit my job and just spend all my time with her. My husband said we had an unhealthy codependency, haha. And now she's been gone for two weeks and I'm crying just as much as the day I found out we had to let her go. It feels so empty here. And it's hard to see our other cat and his sadness that she's gone. So many things. To many to write. Thanks for reading, and thanks for this site. It helps to know that you all understand what I'm writing here.
 

Meaowmu

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Hi
I revisit this post to gain some comfort. I had recently taken this decision for my cat, my soulmate, Maureen, of 13 years. I had her since she was 7 months old. I struggle every day with this pain of losing her physical presence. She is so strong willed and fought the disease so hard. She gave me so much love that I sought.
 

biscuity

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Gareth's post was so helpful to me 7 years ago. I still have the pain, I still cry, maybe not every day, but I still miss my angel every day. I don't mind the pain, I have learnt to live with it, I would not want to feel nothing.

Thank you Gareth, you helped me to be strong for my angel Marmite.
 

playerdark

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Thank you very much. My Simba died the other morning,out of the blue,although she had digestion problems recently.Doc said a stroke or a brain tumor. One moment she was fina, sitting with me on my desk watch me work then within an hour it was over.
I am still in shock but the love part is true. I tend to think she loved me and I'm glad it happened fast.
 

inkysmom

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I'm so very sorry for your loss. She will stay in your heart and soul and dreams forever, as all of mine did.
 
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