When the moment comes...

catsknowme

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My father's people have the ancient wisdom that says that departed spirits return to our Creator, those who have passed and those yet to be born; those who knew us can counsel those in our future so do not be surprised when you meet another soul kitty. And it is not replacing your baby boy to offer a home to another kitty - it is a tribute to the cat you have lost. Try to think of our departed kitties now being with our very own ancestors and our future pets and descendants. I try to focus on my baby Lance's happy days, once he overcame kittenhood disease - days of love, joy, happiness and utter contentment but sometimes the heartbreak & grief invade my dreams, my thoughts. Fortunately, I receive much comfort, understanding and encouragement here at TCS.
 

tarasgirl06

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catsknowme catsknowme My ancestors have the same beliefs and so do I.
And yes, it is the greatest tribute to the love shared with a loved one who has ascended to open the heart and home to another in need. I also think of it as if a family loses a kid. Some do stop having kids -- and that's good, with overpopulation being the crisis it is! -- but a lot of families go on to have another kid or kids. Of course they are not "replacing" the lost kid. But the love they have goes on and is shared in the family. Both my mother and father lost a sibling. In my mom's family, there were two younger girls who were alive when the boy passed, and no more kids after that. In my father's family, one boy died shortly after being born, and I'm not sure what order he was in the family, but there were five kids who survived.
 

tarasgirl06

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Losing my Sammy has been incredibly traumatic. I just can't imagine life without him.
Well, it isn't life as you know it. Losing a loved one is the greatest trauma there is. For a time, it'll just be functioning and putting one foot in front of the other and going through the motions. It'll be surreal. That's shock. Shock is what protects us when the pain is too great to bear. You will find your own way to deal with that, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment.
 

KK300

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Thankfully I've been off work this week, we were due to travel to Arizona, but it was obviously cancelled due to Covid, although I would never have left him if there was any hint he was unwell.
At the moment, I mostly feel absolutely numb, with no interest in doing anything. Getting showered and dressed is taking me hours. My brain is 'frozen', and just not functioning properly.
We have made a 'memory box', to which we are gradually adding bits and pieces.
I miss him so much.
 

tarasgirl06

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Thankfully I've been off work this week, we were due to travel to Arizona, but it was obviously cancelled due to Covid, although I would never have left him if there was any hint he was unwell.
At the moment, I mostly feel absolutely numb, with no interest in doing anything. Getting showered and dressed is taking me hours. My brain is 'frozen', and just not functioning properly.
We have made a 'memory box', to which we are gradually adding bits and pieces.
I miss him so much.
Work on that. Work on the things that will bring you comfort and precious memories. Do whatever you CAN do and do not worry about what you can't do. This is the worst time. You need to do what you are able to do to work through your grief.
 

KK300

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I miss him so much.

I keep seeing the image of him at the vets when we had to have him put to sleep. I feel he blames me for not doing it sooner.

It's keeping me awake at night.

I just miss him.
 

tarasgirl06

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I miss him so much.

I keep seeing the image of him at the vets when we had to have him put to sleep. I feel he blames me for not doing it sooner.

It's keeping me awake at night.

I just miss him.
I hope you can, in time, replace that mental image with beautiful ones of him with you when he was healthy and happy, and you were enjoying your time doing things you love together.
He does absolutely NOT "blame" you. Be sure of that.
May your wonderful memories be a comfort to you in time. You will always miss him. I miss all of my beloved ones, feline, human, and other; and I always will. But I know we will be together again in time, and that to them, there is no time passing. They are in a perfect place and surrounded by Perfect Love. All pain is gone. It is not even a memory. All there is, is Love. Try to hold that in your mind, heart, and soul. He is with you always, watching over you, and you WILL be reunited. Be sure of it!
 

KK300

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Tarasgirl, thank you so much for your post.

I'm really struggling just now. That image is just burned into my consciousness. I can't forgive myself that I let him down in the end.
 

KK300

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But you didn't!

Thank you.

I'm just so heartbroken.
I can't deal with the reality of living without him, he was a rare creature.
At the moment, I'm staying up rather than going to bed, because I know that when I go to bed, I'll just see that image of him when we said goodbye.

This evening, I wrote him a letter, telling him how much I love him, which I will put in his memory box. I intend to keep writing updates about our lives, so that we don't forget each other.
 

tarasgirl06

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Thank you.

I'm just so heartbroken.
I can't deal with the reality of living without him, he was a rare creature.
At the moment, I'm staying up rather than going to bed, because I know that when I go to bed, I'll just see that image of him when we said goodbye.

This evening, I wrote him a letter, telling him how much I love him, which I will put in his memory box. I intend to keep writing updates about our lives, so that we don't forget each other.
That is a really good thing to do, K KK300 -- I have done journaling about my loved ones, made photo albums and framed photos for them, and at times, planted memorial plants for them. I've contributed to cat charities in their names. I have songs for several of them, and whenever I hear them, I think of it as a message from them.
You'll sleep when you are exhausted. And sometimes, he may visit you in dreams, in a GOOD way. This happens with me. You may see him out the corner of your eye or even hear him when you're just going about your daily business. The bonds do not break. He is not gone. He is only gone physically. He is close by you.
 
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