When is it time

[taxcatkim]

My Siamese, Lucy, came to me in 2009 as a stray. She had a rough set of teeth at the time, so the vet that I took her to thought she was already an elder kitty. She guessed her to be 10 years old back then. Well that would make her 24 this year so I doubt she is 24, but she is certainly pushing 20 they think. She has Cataracts in both eyes and now she has a bladder tumor. My vet did an ultrasound and they let me watch and I saw a lot of debris floating around in her bladder and I got to see the tumor. They are not recommending sending her to a specialist because I am not going to do surgery or chemo at this stage.

She is an outdoor kitty, but she has her own big kitty house and a pretty nice set up outside to protect her from the elements. I have cameras set up to watch her and she is making a lot more frequent trips to the bathroom and over the past month, she has not quite made it to the grass to potty. She just pees on the concrete instead. Last May she was 7 pounds and today she was 5.3. She is still active and vocal like normal. She is still eating although certainly not the appetite that she once had.

Anyone had cats with bladder tumors? How did you know when it was time? How were they acting? Did you just have to make the decision for them or did they stop eating and interacting? I’m struggling with this because she is still eating some and interacting. My Vet told me to think of her quality of life. I honestly would expect that if she felt that bad, she would not be eating or interacting with me, but am I wrong?

Many thanks for any advice.

Kim.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hello, this may help with that decision;
When Is It Time? - Making The Difficult Decision - TheCatSite

 

[iPappy]

Hi Kim,
I am so sorry about Lucy's tumor. I have had many cancer losses and every single one of them is hard.
Cats are very good at hiding pain, but if she's still vocal as normal (gotta love the Siamese vocabulary!), eating, and interacting, IMO she has some quality of life left.
I lost 3 in 13 months time, not to bladder cancer but other types of cancer. Two were diagnosed with metastatic cancer on the emergency vets table on separate occasions. Both had stopped eating almost completely and were hiding, and both were being treated for un-related issues when the cancer was discovered. For them, I made the decision to have the vet help them pass peacefully because the prognosis (even short term) was very grave.
Another was diagnosed while he was still in pretty good shape, and as it progressed I started seeing the same things I'd seen in my other two. He had trouble getting around due to muscle wasting/weakness. He was always a very inquisitive, active guy and seeing him like that tore me up, but when I'd get his food his eyes would light up and he'd eat. He also still did little things he'd done all his life, which encouraged me and made me happy. Eventually, he stopped caring if I or the others were around him, and one day he stopped eating, and his breathing became labored and that's when I decided to let him go.
My feeling is you know Lucy better than anyone. You know how she acts day to day and what's normal for her, and you've already pointed out some minor differences you've noticed in her. If the tumor is pressing on her bladder, it may make urination feel more urgent and more frequent. Did the vet feel the tumor was causing her any pain?
By the way, I can't help but admire the cat houses you have! They are very cute and look very warm and cozy. Lucy is lucky to have you.

 

[Cat McCannon]

Never on their worst day

 

[taxcatkim]

Never on their worst day

I don’t understand this response

 

[Furballsmom]

The thought being that a day or three or five before things get bad, is far better than waiting too long. It's about them, not us.

 

[Alldara]

Someone said to me, "when they stop enjoying their 3 most favourite things."

That's a decent rule, but I did not wait for Nobel to stop enjoying all three things. We had to wait too long with Lily due to pandemic closures and I chose to err on the side of too soon. I don't regret that. We filled Nobel up with all his favourite things over his last 6 weeks and it was much more peaceful.

 

[Furrywurrypurry]

My Siamese, Lucy, came to me in 2009 as a stray. She had a rough set of teeth at the time, so the vet that I took her to thought she was already an elder kitty. She guessed her to be 10 years old back then. Well that would make her 24 this year so I doubt she is 24, but she is certainly pushing 20 they think. She has Cataracts in both eyes and now she has a bladder tumor. My vet did an ultrasound and they let me watch and I saw a lot of debris floating around in her bladder and I got to see the tumor. They are not recommending sending her to a specialist because I am not going to do surgery or chemo at this stage.

She is an outdoor kitty, but she has her own big kitty house and a pretty nice set up outside to protect her from the elements. I have cameras set up to watch her and she is making a lot more frequent trips to the bathroom and over the past month, she has not quite made it to the grass to potty. She just pees on the concrete instead. Last May she was 7 pounds and today she was 5.3. She is still active and vocal like normal. She is still eating although certainly not the appetite that she once had.

Anyone had cats with bladder tumors? How did you know when it was time? How were they acting? Did you just have to make the decision for them or did they stop eating and interacting? I’m struggling with this because she is still eating some and interacting. My Vet told me to think of her quality of life. I honestly would expect that if she felt that bad, she would not be eating or interacting with me, but am I wrong?

Many thanks for any advice.

Kim.

Hi,

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. She is a very beautiful girl and it looks like you’ve given her a fabulous home.

I hope you don’t mind me responding but I went through this very recently. My boy was diagnosed with an aggressive intestinal tumour late summer last year. Literally overnight his abdomen became swollen, he had no other symptoms at all, he was eating normally, toileting normally he was his usual happy self but following ultrasound etc the vet said that the tumour was most certainly attached to surrounding organs, surgery wasn’t an option and she estimated that he had maybe 3 months.
In the first few days after I watched him like a hawk like I almost expected him to keel over at any minute, that subsided and he was his usual self, with the help of steroids of course for 4 months. In that time I tortured myself, every night I lay awake panicking that I wouldn’t know when the time was right, that he might suffer because I didn’t decide at the right time or that I would jump the gun and end his life too soon.
His quality of life was amazing right until the very end, he was always a foodie and that never changed, he cuddled with me as he always had, he jumped on me at 4.30 am every morning like he always had. I knew the time had come for a couple of reasons, he started straining to poop one night and I remember that being one of the quality of life indicators, he had been toileting more frequently for a while but not with any issue. But pain and strain are different to frequency. The next morning I looked at him and there was something in me that just new, his eyes weren’t shining the way they were the day before, he hadn’t deteriorated drastically or anything like that he just wasn’t himself and he told me so, it’s hard to describe. I called the vet and he came to us within a few hours. I even still asked the vet if I was doing the right thing and he said 100% yes, that he looked absolutely amazing given his condition but that he was going to begin to suffer if we didn’t intervene.
So what I will say is I agonised for months about it, but ultimately I instinctively knew, I think we are so in tune with our babies that we know. I realise there are people that hang on far too long because they can’t bear the loss but I think even these people know too, they just can’t let go.
You will know and she will tell you l, so try not to worry, just focus on enjoying the time you have with her because I know a lot of the last months with my boy was blighted for me by the constant cloud of that worry of knowing what the right thing to do is. Having been through it once now I feel certain that if I ever have to go through it again I won’t torture myself in the same way.
Losing my boy was hellish and still is, it’s still relatively recent and I’ll miss him until the day that I die. But one thing that comforted me in the time after he passed was knowing I did what was right at the right time.

Trust Lucy to guide you. Listen to her, watch her and you’ll know.

 

[taxcatkim]

Thank you so much everyone. Your heartfelt responses are so appreciated. Woke up at 430am for work and she greeted me at the door ready to eat. She ate well and rubbed her face on the back door. Today is a good day. I got her vaccines yesterday and bloodwork so we will see what the bloodwork tells us. I have made these decisions many times but it’s never easy.

 

[Furballsmom]

I have made these decisions many times but it’s never easy.

 

[stephanietx]

I just want to chime in. For me, it's quality of life, not my life with them in it, but their life. We selfishly want to keep them with us, so it's easier to decide ahead of time whether or not you're going to do any life-extending treatments or just let them live out their life in relative peace. When they start having more bad days than good days or they stop eating, playing, and socializing, then I start thinking about it. Believe it or not, they do tell you when it's time.

 

[Furrywurrypurry]

stephanietx i second this wholeheartedly. The first decision I made before cancer was even a possibility was no unnecessary treatment and not to hold on to him for my own sake.
and they do tell you

 

[Furrywurrypurry]

Thank you so much everyone. Your heartfelt responses are so appreciated. Woke up at 430am for work and she greeted me at the door ready to eat. She ate well and rubbed her face on the back door. Today is a good day. I got her vaccines yesterday and bloodwork so we will see what the bloodwork tells us. I have made these decisions many times but it’s never easy.

Im glad she’s having a good day. I hope she has many more.
I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this before, but it means you can trust yourself and your judgment, you’ll know.
I think perhaps you were asking for input from people who have experienced this specific type of illness in their pet, but it’ll be different with each pet anyway. Trust yourself and trust your girl and you’ll make the right choices at the right time

 

[tiggerwillow]

I knew a cat who got a bladder tumour, sadly in her case it proved fatal

 

[neely]

I agree with all the above members that you know her best and from your posts it sounds as though you wouldn't let her suffer. Many years ago we had a beautiful bi-color boy who was only 7 years old and became ill. Our vet at the time tried everything possible to help him but looking back I felt we waited too long. After he passed I thought over and over about his quality of life toward the end and swore I would never let another cat linger and to this day I kept that promise. I have a feeling you will too.

 

[taxcatkim]

So for years, Lucy had a habit of meowing at 4 AM every morning because I would get up at 4:30 AM. She didn’t do that today, so of course that was a sign. She didn’t eat much this morning, even after giving her a buffet of choices to pick from. I think I’m finally at peace with my decision to let her go. I made an appointment for Friday afternoon. I hate to do it but she’s 20-ish… It still stinks. I’ve done it many times and it’s never easy….

 

[iPappy]

So for years, Lucy had a habit of meowing at 4 AM every morning because I would get up at 4:30 AM. She didn’t do that today, so of course that was a sign. She didn’t eat much this morning, even after giving her a buffet of choices to pick from. I think I’m finally at peace with my decision to let her go. I made an appointment for Friday afternoon. I hate to do it but she’s 20-ish… It still stinks. I’ve done it many times and it’s never easy….

I am so sorry . It's not easy but we don't want them to suffer.

 

[louisstools]

My boy had cancer and I made the choice while he was still at his peak before he got really sick. He was a boisterous and active guy and I didn't want him to experience life slowed down due to the sickness. Or risk him getting hurt b/c he pushed himself.

I've heard that you'll regret waiting too long but you won't regret making the choice sooner. Personally I think we'll regret the choice either way and re-play things out over and over in our minds. I think the best thing we can do is make an old fashioned "pro/con" list and see what sticks so that we have something physical in our hands we can see/touch and reference back on when we start to second guess our selves. This becomes our data. As long as you'd consistently come to the same conclusion with that data set you won't have any regrets.

 

[fionasmom]

Please remember that we are here to support you during this difficult time.

 

[iPappy]

Thinking of you and Lucy today. Sending you lots of strength, hugs, and prayers during this time.