When is it time to let go

morgancivi

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Hi everyone. My cat Lily, is about 11.5 years old. Since February she has been struggling with health issues. One vet failed to figure out what was wrong, continued to suspect kidney disease and did not look elsewhere. When we switched vets, they suggested an ultrasound, and by this time, Lily could not keep down any food. The ultrasound came back with pancreatitis, inflammation in her spleen, and from they could see, either lymphoma or IBD. The only way to be for sure was to do a biopsy, which we decided not to do. This was because her blood results pointed towards the lymphoma and we did not feel like putting my baby through a biopsy. Being an older cat, I also decided against radiation given the side effects it may have on her health along with her age. We are treating her with prednisone along with some other aids like cerenia, appetite stimulants and some other anti inflammatory I can never remember the name of. She has good days but then has bad days and it is really hard to see when it is time. Her meow seems like such a chore and she has been hiding from me more than being around me. It is also important to note that she is below 7 lbs and with her constant throwing up (even when taking cerenia) there is no way to put weight on her. I am so heart broken given that she is my childhood pet (I got her when I was 10, now I am 21). All I want is the best for her and I have really been struggling with all this. I have lost pets before, but I have never lost MY pet. Tonight we had a moment when I forced her to lay with me and she put her forehead to mine. I sat there just so happy and I felt her put her paw on my cheek. I think this was her telling me that it was okay, and that it is time. Can anyone tell me how their pet told them it was time? I would really like to read how others found this out and just reflect on it. My cat is my life and no one else around me really understands what I am going through, so I thought this would be the perfect place to seek some outside advice/opinions. I just can’t keep putting her through all this when she clearly won’t be getting any better and just poking and prodding her when she fears the vet just stresses her out even more.
 

Maria Bayote

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I am so sorry you are going through this. Most of us here at TCS have experienced the same and it really is not easy.

I believe you are the only one who can weigh in on this. Consider your precious cat and what is much better for her especially when she is suffering physically. Sometimes our love is not enough to save them, and the best thing that we can do is to let them go, although it would really be so hard and painful.

Obviously you deeply love your cat and will do anything for her. You have given her the best life she possibly could have, and I am sure she would be eternally grateful.

Weigh on this, and I hope afterwards you can come up with a decision that I am sure would be the best for both of you. I pray that you find peace in your heart in whatever you decided on.

Hang in there. Please send my hugs and kisses to Lily.
 

artiemom

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Oh, my heart is breaking for you... sigh....
I remember it well, with Artie.. it was in 2018...

All I can say is this; When you begin thinking about this.. it is time.. it really is..
It is a very personal decision... Artie was my soul kitty... It was the hardest decision ever...

You really have to take into consideration how your kitty is living.. The quality of life is really important. There is a list, on line, which you can use to help decide, but ultimately it is your decision..

On Good days, you see hope~~~ on Bad days, despair.

My guys life was revolving around medications; yet, he still had so many issues..and kept getting more and more issues...

Now, that I can look back at all his pictures, I see how much he was suffering, at the end. I probably prolonged his agony a bit longer than I really should have. I just found not give him up..
I reached a point, where trying to see him, was getting me sick.. I ran everywhere, exhausted all food sources, all medications, to help him. It was no life for a cat. His daily life revolved around medicating him.. He was hiding, He was not playing, barely eating.. etc....
It was time...

This is such a personal decisions.. but think about what is best for your loved one..
I really believe when you the thought of doing this, comes to you.. It is time to seriously consider it.. Try to think of it from your loves life..

(((HUGS)))) and more ((hugs)).... .. it is so difficult...

FWIW: Artie had IBD, Megacolon, Chicken Allergy, heart murmur, and went on to get more and more physical ailments... loosing fur from the prolonged prednisolone usage, hiding and running from the lactulose.. which was getting all over his fur, because he hated it...
He developed a spot on his lung... etc.... it was a lot.. for anyone, humans included.

Yet, I wanted to keep him around, for me... I saw how much he suffering, how much he was losing his battle... with more and more serous conditions. I could not do it... not to him... I could not force the love of my life to go through more treatment.. He could not understand why I kept taking him in to the Vets... it was torture for him.. It was enough.. looking back, I finally realized I kept him alive for longer; because he meant so much to me.. Medicine is great, but when your life revolves around it, it is is no life at all.. especially for a loving animal, who cannot understand.
He could not enjoy life.. no enjoyment for him at all..
 
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klunick

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My rule of thumb is that if I'm questioning whether to let them go, it's time to let them go. I would rather let them go a little too early than a little too late. But you have to make the ultimate decision and find peace with that decision.
 

Mamanyt1953

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I think Jackson Galaxy may have said it best...NEVER on their worst day. Let them leave while there is still a bit of joy to take with them. For me, and this is JUST for me, "constant pain" is the absolute decider. But you have to decide what you can best live with, and what you can ask HER to live with. My heart with yours.
 

artiemom

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I think Jackson Galaxy may have said it best...NEVER on their worst day. Let them leave while there is still a bit of joy to take with them. For me, and this is JUST for me, "constant pain" is the absolute decider. But you have to decide what you can best live with, and what you can ask HER to live with. My heart with yours.
My rule of thumb is that if I'm questioning whether to let them go, it's time to let them go. I would rather let them go a little too early than a little too late. But you have to make the ultimate decision and find peace with that decision.
Yes, I think this is so right on....
I still cannot quite fathom it, but the specialist always told me to: do it when it is a good day, rather than a bad day...to let them go; sooner, rather than later....
I guess this means, you cannot end up saying: I should have done it sooner...
and gives you time to re-evaluate things.. and have some better memories, than those of suffering, and pain..

Yes, When you are starting to question, "When".. that is time to decide... sigh..

I have a family member who does not believe in euthanasia ... yet, his cats are always suffering, to the end.. so much pain.. the even the Vet has suggested it.. It is horrible what he is putting his cats through.. all through the years.. Right now, his cat has severe thyroid issues, deaf, blind, severe heart issues, and kidney failure. . ... She is really suffering.. Her life revolves around medications... I feel so bad for his cat... yet, I cannot say anything..

It is a very personal decision.
 

solomonar

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As a very personal attitude, I always go for the fight.

So, before discussing when it is the right time, I dare to say that there are still solutions to try.

A 12 yeas old cat may be considered old, but it is not at the end of life.
In order to decide the cure, an investigation is absolutely necessary:
- X-rays may not be so damaging at her age, so I would not reject it.
-Ultrasound interpretation and accuracy depend on the device and on the experience of the vet. You may want to go for a second opinion.
- Blood test relevance, other than suggesting lymphoma? What does it mean "pointing towards?" It is or it is not lymphoma?
- Feline asthma?
- Food allergies?

Cerenia is against vomiting, but what is the underlying condition? To me, it looks like there are too many "or"s. The inflammation is caused by something, it is not a condition in itself.

Can you pay a visit to a specialized feline vet?
 

Mamanyt1953

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And never be afraid to ask your vet, "If this were your cat, what would you do?" That can be the most valuable information of all.
 

tnl

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