What's on Your Mind Thread - 2024

Kwik

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Good lord, so so many. I feel like it’s really easy for relationships like this to spiral. As someone who has been on both sides of things, I would have much rather had them distance themselves and a chance to try again later rather than just have the person “be there for me” until it’s gone so far neither person wants to ever interact again.

The sad part is the friendship I was in where I was the whiny needy one was fine until I was introduced to their sibling who was a whole bucket of toxic. Then a mutual friend told me that she had backed away from the friendship for the exact same reason I was struggling with. My dumb self stayed friends with both of them for years despite being horribly depressed.
Speaking about "friends" I've had quite an awakening recently and what's on my mind is that I'll never understand how some people think or what pops in their heads to act as they do
In the past couple of weeks as I get closer to surgery Thursday I've been greatly disappointed by some I truly considered good friends,they are unreliable,undependable and extremely inconsiderate people-how did I not see that -should've realized it as my everyday life is " Kwik help" " I need you" " Can you tell me" " Will you do" " I'm depressed" " I have a problem" " I'm mad,sad,,tired,needy needy needy.... and in my heart of hearts,I do what I can(& beyond)

Recently out of the blue ,one "friend" is bent out of shape not hearing from me for 2days- didn't like my response and poof,it's my fault they are insecure and needy( so they blocked me!) How does anyone get offended by not hearing from someone? Did they have an imaginary argument you were not a part of? Mind boggling
( & when I need support the most)

My ride to the hospital flaked out,the girl who's supposed to care for my cats " no showed"" 3 times and keeps gaslighting every time we make a date to go over everything for my absence and the list goes on

It confirms all the reasons I prefer my cats over people- I don't want a hardened heart ,I don't want to stop helping others and I'll continue to pray for them becsuse they sure need it..... the very same people cry about not having friends but you have to be a friend to have a friend

My dear and very real good friends have either passed away,moved away,are too far away
or are as bad a shape as I am and they'd do anything in the world to help me and cannot...... I'm surrounded by some very flaky,inconsiderate ,self consumed,uncaring people......

Anyway- it's on my mind and I'm grateful for some very good supportive and encouraging people right here on TCS- joyfully I regard " Friends"
 

Kwik

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This is what I told her: "I'll be honest with you... I think I need some space/distance away from this friendship for a little bit or a while, I really don't know yet. All I know is that I'm not getting the same enjoyment out of it as I used to and its been weighing heavily on me. It has gotten to the point where I am now dreading conversing with you and feeling drained texting. I don't know what I need right now but I need time/space to think. I hope you can understand. And I'm sorry if this is a lot for you right now but I need it. I have things going on in my life too that I just need to focus on."

And all she said was "It's okay".


I hope it gets better for you as it progresses. The day that is. :)
I'm sorry this is weighing on your mind- it seems there are givers and there are takers in this world we live in- the takers just take &take & take until there's nothing left to take and they still want more- more reassurance,more of your time,more of your consoling,more hand holding - more more more

And believe me,I know this well - since I'm a little kid I've been a charitable person ,from a charitable family of people that give,give their hearts and lend a helping hand - be it with a listening ear,support,encouragement,a shoulder,material things..... we are Blessed to Bless - its how I was raised

It's a very different society than the one I was brought up in- its a society of " all about me" - what I need,want,expect with a strange sense of entitlement and zero accountability

Don't let this weigh on your shoulders,it's not your burden dear- it sounds like a toxic relationship - relationships are supposed to be reciprocal and if it's draining the life out of you then it's time to say " fare well" ....You merely asked for some time & space,not alot to ask for..... it doesn't necessarily mean it was anything to do with her but YOU needed that time for whatever reason - thst should be enough and followed by-" I'm here when you're ready,love you"

I understand but remember people come in and out of our lives and some for just a season though always for reason- remember the good and learn from the experience❤
 

NY cat man

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My house had no insulation in the walls downstairs and it was completely finished. You now can't see the insulation I put in, but I know its there. It still makes me a little itchy to think about it. Scratch, Scratch!
I'm using mineral wool for insulation, as it has an R-15 rating vs. the R-11 fiberglass that was in there. Also, it is unaffected by moisture, is fireproof and mold resistant. And best of all, it isn't itchy!
 

NY cat man

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I talked to one of the managers at work. Only way to increase my hours is to get up at 6 am. Yuck! I havve never gotten up that early
For more years than I care to remember, I got up at 3a.m., left for work at 4, and started work at 5. I still wake up at around at 5 on most mornings, even though I've been retired for more than 7 years now.
 

NY cat man

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Speaking about "friends" I've had quite an awakening recently and what's on my mind is that I'll never understand how some people think or what pops in their heads to act as they do
In the past couple of weeks as I get closer to surgery Thursday I've been greatly disappointed by some I truly considered good friends,they are unreliable,undependable and extremely inconsiderate people-how did I not see that -should've realized it as my everyday life is " Kwik help" " I need you" " Can you tell me" " Will you do" " I'm depressed" " I have a problem" " I'm mad,sad,,tired,needy needy needy.... and in my heart of hearts,I do what I can(& beyond)

Recently out of the blue ,one "friend" is bent out of shape not hearing from me for 2days- didn't like my response and poof,it's my fault they are insecure and needy( so they blocked me!) How does anyone get offended by not hearing from someone? Did they have an imaginary argument you were not a part of? Mind boggling
( & when I need support the most)

My ride to the hospital flaked out,the girl who's supposed to care for my cats " no showed"" 3 times and keeps gaslighting every time we make a date to go over everything for my absence and the list goes on

It confirms all the reasons I prefer my cats over people- I don't want a hardened heart ,I don't want to stop helping others and I'll continue to pray for them becsuse they sure need it..... the very same people cry about not having friends but you have to be a friend to have a friend

My dear and very real good friends have either passed away,moved away,are too far away
or are as bad a shape as I am and they'd do anything in the world to help me and cannot...... I'm surrounded by some very flaky,inconsiderate ,self consumed,uncaring people......

Anyway- it's on my mind and I'm grateful for some very good supportive and encouraging people right here on TCS- joyfully I regard " Friends"
I have a neighbor like that. He takes zero care of his mower or snow blower, then comes to me to fix it. Right now, his lawn mower won't stay running, but I'm busy with the bathroom, plus running Michele around on her errands, so I can't look at it right now. Also, they have a raised deck on the main entrance to their house, and the steps were separating from the deck, so who do they call on? Not the guy that built it, but yours truly. I guess I never should have let on that I could do such things, but it's too late now. If it wasn't for waiting for the joint compound to dry, I would have no time at all right now.
 

Kwik

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I have a neighbor like that. He takes zero care of his mower or snow blower, then comes to me to fix it. Right now, his lawn mower won't stay running, but I'm busy with the bathroom, plus running Michele around on her errands, so I can't look at it right now. Also, they have a raised deck on the main entrance to their house, and the steps were separating from the deck, so who do they call on? Not the guy that built it, but yours truly. I guess I never should have let on that I could do such things, but it's too late now. If it wasn't for waiting for the joint compound to dry, I would have no time at all right now.
I know exactly what you mean- and no doubt you don't mind lending a hand but you do have your own things to take care of that comes first- does he ever offer to give you a hand? Not that he could but just the offer to would be a nice gesture- wouldn't it?

I'd be right there with my trowels ready to finish your drywall for ya!lol Or give Michele a ride so you could watch the joint compound dry- rofl( loved that one!l
 

NY cat man

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I know exactly what you mean- and no doubt you don't mind lending a hand but you do have your own things to take care of that comes first- does he ever offer to give you a hand? Not that he could but just the offer to would be a nice gesture- wouldn't it?

I'd be right there with my trowels ready to finish your drywall for ya!lol Or give Michele a ride so you could watch the joint compound dry- rofl( loved that one!l
Never once has he offered any assistance, and it's not like he can't. After all, he's a good 20 years younger than I am, but he's also dumber than a sack of hammers- no offense to hammers intended.
 

Kwik

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Never once has he offered any assistance, and it's not like he can't. After all, he's a good 20 years younger than I am, but he's also dumber than a sack of hammers- no offense to hammers intended.
You've given me much laughter this morning- don't insult the hammers!

We're just from a much different generation- another world,people used to be much more considerate,Oh well
 

vansX2

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I know exactly what you mean- and no doubt you don't mind lending a hand but you do have your own things to take care of that comes first- does he ever offer to give you a hand? Not that he could but just the offer to would be a nice gesture- wouldn't it?

I'd be right there with my trowels ready to finish your drywall for ya!lol Or give Michele a ride so you could watch the joint compound dry- rofl( loved that one!l
I don't mind lending a hand to neighbors when I don't feel I'm being pressured . I love detailing cars plus have a fondness of doing Landscape Maintenance . One of my neighbors often acts helpless saying that they are overwhelmed and wishes their car and lawn looked as nice as mine. The neighbor has energy to go consignment & garage sale shopping. But can't find time or energy to clean their car or beautify their lawn and landscape . That too me doesn't add up.
 

Kwik

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I don't mind lending a hand to neighbors when I don't feel I'm being pressured . I love detailing cars plus have a fondness of doing Landscape Maintenance . One of my neighbors often acts helpless saying that they are overwhelmed and wishes their car and lawn looked as nice as mine. The neighbor has energy to go consignment & garage sale shopping. But can't find time or energy to clean their car or beautify their lawn and landscape . That too me doesn't add up.
They're lazy and don't want to work for anything- it has to be instant,immediate gratification - working hard for beautiful results takes too much time and too much effort- pathetic!

You and I both work hard to keep our cars looking like they do and yes,that's what you hear" WISH my car looked like that" Duh,it doesn't take a wishbone it takes backbone!

Boy can I relate my Friend! Well,they can just keep wishing....🙄
 

Mamanyt1953

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Anyway- it's on my mind and I'm grateful for some very good supportive and encouraging people right here on TCS- joyfully I regard " Friends"
I SO wish I were much, MUCH closer! There are a lot of things I can't do, but I can certainly make sure cats have food, water, clean boxes and a LOT of loving!

For more years than I care to remember, I got up at 3a.m., left for work at 4, and started work at 5. I still wake up at around at 5 on most mornings, even though I've been retired for more than 7 years now.
I worked either second or third shift all of my life, and I STILL go to bed at 7-8AM, read a bit, and get up around 5 PM. It's comfortable to me, I'm awake in the quietest part of the day, and I can't see a reason to change things at this late date!
 

vansX2

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They're lazy and don't want to work for anything- it has to be instant,immediate gratification - working hard for beautiful results takes too much time and too much effort- pathetic!

You and I both work hard to keep our cars looking like they do and yes,that's what you hear" WISH my car looked like that" Duh,it doesn't take a wishbone it takes backbone!

Boy can I relate my Friend! Well,they can just keep wishing....🙄
About a month ago or so I told the neighbor that I had a little time to beautify their cars paint finish. Normally for detail work I charge for my time and supplies. I'm much more $ reasonable than the detail business in town. Since this was a freebie . I applied Cleaner wax to Half of the car. I beautified the drivers side plus half of the Front Bumper,Grille,Roof ,Hatch and Rear Bumper. So when it rains its evident that 50% has wax applied. I have offered to show the person how best to clean up their car but they show no interest. So the 50% wax job is all they get.
 
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Kwik

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About a month ago or so I told the neighbor that I had a little time to beautify their cars paint finish. Normally for detail work I charge for my time and supplies. I'm much more $ reasonable than the detail business in town. Since this was a freebie . I applied Cleaner wax to Half of the car. I beautified the drivers side plus half of the Front Bumper,Grille,Roof ,Hatch and Rear Bumper. So when it rains its evident that 50% has wax applied. I have offered to show the person how best to clean up their car but they show no interest. So the 50% wax job is all they get.
Rofl- love it!
 

Kwik

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I SO wish I were much, MUCH closer! There are a lot of things I can't do, but I can certainly make sure cats have food, water, clean boxes and a LOT of loving!


I worked either second or third shift all of my life, and I STILL go to bed at 7-8AM, read a bit, and get up around 5 PM. It's comfortable to me, I'm awake in the quietest part of the day, and I can't see a reason to change things at this late date!
Me too- I'd have NOTHING to worry about,wouldn't that be nice?

Less than 24 hrs and I'll be under the "robotic blade" lol- I've got a fantastic surgeon,my " home hospital" and those are the things(& people) that make me feel good and confident- other than that,honestly I'm a nervous wreck guys- of course that's whats " On My Mind".....

If y'all pray,please pray for me and whatever you do if you can do it keeping me in your hearts I appreciate your well wishes,good vibes and positive energy..... you have all been my greatest support,my FRIENDS..... I mean that,thank you❤❤❤ and Graycie,Bella,Sami,Max & Timmy say " thank you" too
😻😼😽😸😺
 

susanm9006

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Me too- I'd have NOTHING to worry about,wouldn't that be nice?

Less than 24 hrs and I'll be under the "robotic blade" lol- I've got a fantastic surgeon,my " home hospital" and those are the things(& people) that make me feel good and confident- other than that,honestly I'm a nervous wreck guys- of course that's whats " On My Mind".....

If y'all pray,please pray for me and whatever you do if you can do it keeping me in your hearts I appreciate your well wishes,good vibes and positive energy..... you have all been my greatest support,my FRIENDS..... I mean that,thank you❤❤❤ and Graycie,Bella,Sami,Max & Timmy say " thank you" too
😻😼😽😸😺
I will be thinking of you. I hope your friends do well with your cats and that they also come in and help you a bit afterwards.
 

maggie101

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I SO wish I were much, MUCH closer! There are a lot of things I can't do, but I can certainly make sure cats have food, water, clean boxes and a LOT of loving!


I worked either second or third shift all of my life, and I STILL go to bed at 7-8AM, read a bit, and get up around 5 PM. It's comfortable to me, I'm awake in the quietest part of the day, and I can't see a reason to change things at this late date!
Move to houston!! So which you were here to
 

artiemom

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Me too- I'd have NOTHING to worry about,wouldn't that be nice?

Less than 24 hrs and I'll be under the "robotic blade" lol- I've got a fantastic surgeon,my " home hospital" and those are the things(& people) that make me feel good and confident- other than that,honestly I'm a nervous wreck guys- of course that's whats " On My Mind".....

If y'all pray,please pray for me and whatever you do if you can do it keeping me in your hearts I appreciate your well wishes,good vibes and positive energy..... you have all been my greatest support,my FRIENDS..... I mean that,thank you❤❤❤ and Graycie,Bella,Sami,Max & Timmy say " thank you" too
😻😼😽😸😺
I also wish I lived closer to you. I would help out with whatever you needed...
Sending you all my best thoughts and prayers for a great outcome.. love you..
 
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