What's on Your Mind Thread - 2024

Margot Lane

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Well after looking at houses for sale and absurd prices we decided to put off moving for now. I finally got some more accurate quotes for building in our area and found some good contractors so we may end up going that route instead.

I considered modular homes because I appreciate the concept and potential benefits, but reading more I would rather just build it from the ground up to be sure of it’s long term value at least. Along with the fact that they’re not really “cheaper” than building a custom home.

I‘ve been debating if I want to do a DIY catio because I feel bad that YanYan doesn’t have outdoor access when she loves it so much, along with the lack of windows they can get to and XiaoXiao bulking up to the point he shoves her out :whistle: it seems like a waste spending on it when we don’t plan to stay though, but I guess our barn cat could use it at night after we build a new place.
Oo, a modular home designed for cats! The imagination reels with possible ideas!
 

Willowy

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My favorite new series, Elsbeth, is on CBS tonight. It is a mystery show and she is sort of Colombo with a comedic edge. I watched and episode last week and enjoyed it so much I needed to catch up on the first two of the series.
Ooh I'm binging So Help Me Todd right now and see ads for that, I thought it looked good, glad to hear you liked it.
 

klunick

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I carried a flip phone, purchased for $20 at Radio Shack (remember them?) for years. The only reason that I got rid of it was the operating system was phased out when 5G was phased in, so it wouldn't work anymore. More's the pity, methinks.
We still have one in our County.
 

MoochNNoodles

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I was playing with google maps last night looking for where I need to drop DD off for a youth group thing and I realized its close to our old house. So I went to look at it.

Its gone! :bawling: Just an empty, grassy piece of land. I switched back to an older view and it was there with the deck DH and his friend built. Now it’s gone. I don’t know if something happened. DH asked me out for the first time there. He proposed there. I found out I was pregnant with DD there. It wasn’t a great place and the neighborhood was going down; but it had a lot of memories attached. We did a lot of work inside making it a home.
 

vansX2

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I was playing with google maps last night looking for where I need to drop DD off for a youth group thing and I realized its close to our old house. So I went to look at it.

Its gone! :bawling: Just an empty, grassy piece of land. I switched back to an older view and it was there with the deck DH and his friend built. Now it’s gone. I don’t know if something happened. DH asked me out for the first time there. He proposed there. I found out I was pregnant with DD there. It wasn’t a great place and the neighborhood was going down; but it had a lot of memories attached. We did a lot of work inside making it a home.
Look on the bright side. You still have your mind and those fond memories of that home.
 

susanm9006

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I was playing with google maps last night looking for where I need to drop DD off for a youth group thing and I realized its close to our old house. So I went to look at it.

Its gone! :bawling: Just an empty, grassy piece of land. I switched back to an older view and it was there with the deck DH and his friend built. Now it’s gone. I don’t know if something happened. DH asked me out for the first time there. He proposed there. I found out I was pregnant with DD there. It wasn’t a great place and the neighborhood was going down; but it had a lot of memories attached. We did a lot of work inside making it a home.
Wow! had to be something like a fire. Any old neighbors you can ask?
 

Graceful-Lily

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Anyone ever had to "break up" with a friend? I have a friend I've been talking to online for 9+ years and for the past 2 years, I felt like the relationship started spiraling down until I couldn't take it anymore and told her I needed time to myself without talking. I feel really bad and keep thinking about how she may feel and feeling guilty for feeling like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She just always seems to have a mountain of things going on in her life and always dumped it on me instead of talking about other things or spending time together in other ways. Not even sure if we will speak again... :(
 

iPappy

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Anyone ever had to "break up" with a friend? I have a friend I've been talking to online for 9+ years and for the past 2 years, I felt like the relationship started spiraling down until I couldn't take it anymore and told her I needed time to myself without talking. I feel really bad and keep thinking about how she may feel and feeling guilty for feeling like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She just always seems to have a mountain of things going on in her life and always dumped it on me instead of talking about other things or spending time together in other ways. Not even sure if we will speak again... :(
Yes, I have. When the conversations flow freely when we're discussing their problems, but the conversation on their end halts the second I bring up mine, that's a done deal when it becomes a pattern.
 

Margot Lane

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I’m worried NYCatman man needs help repairing his bathroom. Probably not, but I’m still worried.
 

MoochNNoodles

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Wow! had to be something like a fire. Any old neighbors you can ask?
DH might know who to ask. Its not the only place missing though. There was a huge tree that always made me nervous because it had a dead branch hanging caught up in the live branches. The room under it had been DH’s when he had his first roommate. The big tree is also gone. I just hope there wasn’t an accident!
Anyone ever had to "break up" with a friend? I have a friend I've been talking to online for 9+ years and for the past 2 years, I felt like the relationship started spiraling down until I couldn't take it anymore and told her I needed time to myself without talking. I feel really bad and keep thinking about how she may feel and feeling guilty for feeling like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She just always seems to have a mountain of things going on in her life and always dumped it on me instead of talking about other things or spending time together in other ways. Not even sure if we will speak again... :(
Sometimes friendships go through seasons. I’ve had a friend that I had to say “Can we talk about MY problem now?!” One sided friendships are not true friendships.

Ive also had things come around. I figured out her ex was manipulating things and instigating to alienate her from friends. We aren’t close but at least we chat on occasion again. She was once someone who I would say the only person I knew better was my husband and vice versa. (Which was also how I knew the now ex was causing the problems. It wasn’t her style at all.)

But that level of relief you feel seems to say it was time. Being a good friend doesn’t mean you sacrifice your own mental wellbeing to that level! Sometimes people need a therapist; not a friend. Theres no shame in that.
 

NY cat man

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I’m worried NYCatman man needs help repairing his bathroom. Probably not, but I’m still worried.
Nah, it's a regular PITA, but two of the walls are done, I'm working on the third, and the fourth has to wait a bit due to outside events not related to the reno. I may be old, but I'm not that decrepit..........yet.
 

vansX2

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Anyone ever had to "break up" with a friend? I have a friend I've been talking to online for 9+ years and for the past 2 years, I felt like the relationship started spiraling down until I couldn't take it anymore and told her I needed time to myself without talking. I feel really bad and keep thinking about how she may feel and feeling guilty for feeling like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She just always seems to have a mountain of things going on in her life and always dumped it on me instead of talking about other things or spending time together in other ways. Not even sure if we will speak again... :(
Yes a similar situation happened to me. On a brief trip to Topeka,Kansas back in 1996 I met with some old friends for a dinner party. The subject personal relationships came up. One of the dinner party people a single guy made nasty comments about a woman whom In was interested in. Largely because of her nationality. The host of the dinner party kept silent. Not caring to stop the bray of insults. Because of that situation. I broke off all contact with the party host and his wife until 2007. Finally that Party host reached out to make amends. The friendship resumed but was short lived as the Party host passed away in 2011.
 
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AbbysMom

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Anyone ever had to "break up" with a friend? I have a friend I've been talking to online for 9+ years and for the past 2 years, I felt like the relationship started spiraling down until I couldn't take it anymore and told her I needed time to myself without talking. I feel really bad and keep thinking about how she may feel and feeling guilty for feeling like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She just always seems to have a mountain of things going on in her life and always dumped it on me instead of talking about other things or spending time together in other ways. Not even sure if we will speak again... :(
Unfortunately I've been the friend with the mountain of things going on for a while now. I do my best to listen to what is going on in my online friends lives and be supportive of them but I'm not sure I've always been successful. :ohwell:

If you feel like a weight has been lifted it may have been time. After some time has passed you can always reach out to check in and see if it is more of the same from her or if the thought causes you anxiety then maybe not.
 

artiemom

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It is really a sad. commentary on my life and me, that I have been that 'friend" in question. Yes.. Me... Now, I realize all the mistakes I have made, and probably continue to make. Currently, I see what I did and that I was kind of 'selfish'.. but,. more than that: I was needy.. Needing a person with whom I could just vent... and not judge me.

I was very needy-- not having many friends; not understanding what was happening to me... all the bad stuff.... trying to 'latch' onto any one who would listen; and in my opinion-- be there for me. But it does get stifling at times to the other person . What may begin as a kind gesture, can just morph into really being a therapist, rather than a 'friend".. I used to be a really good listener; but when things got to be overwhelming to me, I would just unload on those whom I felt I could trust. Yes, I have been hurt-- by trusting those "friends" whom I thought would be on my side and never leave me.. only to be disappointed and upset when they moved on-- even still, when they decided to 'share' my issues with others. In other words, I have felt betrayed.

Now, I have learned a lot. It comes with age, and experience... and therapy... I am just trying to. e a good person, listen to people, help others. It does not mean that I lose my temper and vent to certain people. I am sort of careful with what I share and to whom I share it with.

Graceful-Lily Graceful-Lily My advise, would be to just slowly ignore calls. Your needy friend will eventually get the 'hing".. and perhaps suggest that they see a therapist, since you cannot advise on many things. Even say something like: " I really appreciate you as a friend, but hav you ever thought of talking with a professional? I can only help, so much. I do not want to loose our friendship, but I really cannot comment on all that is going on in. your life. I do have my own things happening. I want to keep our friendship; but, I need support at times. I miss our "FUN" times out."...

Sorry if I went on and on....
 

Margot Lane

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Nah, it's a regular PITA, but two of the walls are done, I'm working on the third, and the fourth has to wait a bit due to outside events not related to the reno. I may be old, but I'm not that decrepit..........yet.
Oh I never imagined that. I was more concerned about…unexpected things behind the walls, etc. Can;t wait for photos! Will you mud? Tile?
 

NY cat man

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Oh I never imagined that. I was more concerned about…unexpected things behind the walls, etc. Can;t wait for photos! Will you mud? Tile?
It's just going to be drywall- no tile in this one. I am going to put in different lighting, though. As this is just a powder room, and only four by six feet, there's not a whole lot to show. What whoever built this thing did was enclose what used to be a rear porch on the house, and it was a pretty slapdash job, as when I started pulling off the old drywall, I could feel the cold air rushing in. That has been taken care of, though. One holdup now is Michele has decided that she wants a different towel holder, and wants it relocated- but isn't sure where- and I can't do that wall until I know where to install blocking for support. The hardest part of the whole job is cutting the new drywall to fit, as with nothing square, I have to make parallelograms instead of rectangles, and the angle at one end isn't equal to the angle at the other. Yay. At least, though, it will be air tight and properly insulated, so there is that.
 
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