What's on your Mind Thread - 2023

[Mia6]

Haven't been on for awhile so I thought I'd say HI everyone.
Been a little busy, but I'll fill you in. My son graduated with his AS in December and is going to NAU for his BS in fall. He decided not to go for Psychology (after working in the Psych hospital for two years) he prefers animals. So he had changed his major to Zoology specializing in conservation/preservation.
I haven't been doing a whole lot. Just taking care of my elderly mom, my cats and trying to find my son a lawyer.
I'll explain, if you care (if not, oh well it's here anyway). In Jan, he and his fiance signed a lease for an apartment. They signed early because in a college town, apartments go fast...really fast. However, in the meantime, they bought a nice little 3 bed, 2 bath house about an hour away in the neighboring town. But the apartment complex won't let them out of the lease. OK, I know, they signed a binding contract, however, they can't take possession until mid Aug, no money has been exchanged, they don't even have a unit number. The apartment says they have to pay off the entire lease if they want to cancel. All lawyers I have talked to said this is extortion, but it's not their field. Up on this mountain there are plenty of lawyers that take care of things like "I was only 5 times over the legal limit, why was I arrested" and "Help me get the charges dropped, it was only an 8 ball of meth". Things like that. Trying to find a decent landlord/tenant lawyer.

So that's it for me. I'll try to keep more active.

glad you're back

 

[maggie101]

 

[Mamanyt1953]

kashmir64

 

[kashmir64]

I have a dear friend who is dying. I don't want sympathies or condolences, so please just don't. I just need to get off my chest what a wonderful person this is and if I put it in writing, maybe it will last for a long time and people will know there is still humanity. He is an 86 year old Pastor (was a Deacon, but dropped down when they offered him his own church...so to speak). Him and I have been through a lot together. He raised racing Quarter Horses and I trained them. He also received many, many donations which him and I took to the Indian Reservation and gave to the church so they could distribute it out to the people who needed it. This included food and clothing. He also arranged to receive furniture from a hotel that was remodeling. After loading all that up, we took it to CPS so they could distribute to families in need.
This man is a saint (even though I'm Agnostic, I stand by this statement).
He taught me to not wish there were more people like 'that' in this world, but to become like 'that'. ('that' meaning a good person). I've been visiting him at his bedside as often as I can, he may have 2 weeks left.
I will miss him very, very much when he is gone.

Thanks for letting me speak about him on this site.

 

[strider rose]

im excited about moving to a bigger apartment but kinda of stressed out about having to box up stuff and then concerned for my cats cause they dont like being in a carrier much

 

[kashmir64]

im excited about moving to a bigger apartment but kinda of stressed out about having to box up stuff and then concerned for my cats cause they dont like being in a carrier much

This is exciting. Yes it is stressful with packing/loading/unloading/unpacking. You will probably be living out of boxes for awhile. Your cats will be stressed, but only for a short time. And just think of all the cool and neat toys (boxes) that you are going to supply them with.

 

[furmonster mom]

I woke up this morning to the sound of a saw running. Knowing that one of our neighbors has a saw in their garage, I figured he was working on a project.

Then I stepped into my backyard to find that my large oleander had been trimmed from my neighbors side down to the base branches. Nearly denuded.

I am so furious.
It completely ruined a shady corner, which is important here in the desert.

I went over and told them they should have talked to me about it first.
They argued that they had every right to cut anything that was hanging over their side. I told them they should have talked to me first, and I would have had a professional come and deal with it.

It turned into a shouting match, which echoed in the cul de sac. So several neighbors heard it. One came out, and the gal I was arguing with immediately started making nice with the other. So manipulative.

Now they are threatening to do the same thing with a large ash tree in the corner. I told them they couldn’t do that to a large tree, as it would severely damage it.

I have called the tree service, but I am still shaking with anger over this.

 

[strider rose]

This is exciting. Yes it is stressful with packing/loading/unloading/unpacking. You will probably be living out of boxes for awhile. Your cats will be stressed, but only for a short time. And just think of all the cool and neat toys (boxes) that you are going to supply them with.

kashmir64 yeah i know .... they hate being in the carrier though and may have to chase them down lol

 

[Mia6]

I woke up this morning to the sound of a saw running. Knowing that one of our neighbors has a saw in their garage, I figured he was working on a project.

Then I stepped into my backyard to find that my large oleander had been trimmed from my neighbors side down to the base branches. Nearly denuded.

I am so furious.
It completely ruined a shady corner, which is important here in the desert.

I went over and told them they should have talked to me about it first.
They argued that they had every right to cut anything that was hanging over their side. I told them they should have talked to me first, and I would have had a professional come and deal with it.

It turned into a shouting match, which echoed in the cul de sac. So several neighbors heard it. One came out, and the gal I was arguing with immediately started making nice with the other. So manipulative.

Now they are threatening to do the same thing with a large ash tree in the corner. I told them they couldn’t do that to a large tree, as it would severely damage it.

I have called the tree service, but I am still shaking with anger over this.

i would be angry as well.
my neighbor did the same thing and i no longer have the privacy i have had since i moved here, i rent so there was
nothing i could do about it.

 

[kashmir64]

I woke up this morning to the sound of a saw running. Knowing that one of our neighbors has a saw in their garage, I figured he was working on a project.

Then I stepped into my backyard to find that my large oleander had been trimmed from my neighbors side down to the base branches. Nearly denuded.

I am so furious.
It completely ruined a shady corner, which is important here in the desert.

I went over and told them they should have talked to me about it first.
They argued that they had every right to cut anything that was hanging over their side. I told them they should have talked to me first, and I would have had a professional come and deal with it.

It turned into a shouting match, which echoed in the cul de sac. So several neighbors heard it. One came out, and the gal I was arguing with immediately started making nice with the other. So manipulative.

Now they are threatening to do the same thing with a large ash tree in the corner. I told them they couldn’t do that to a large tree, as it would severely damage it.

I have called the tree service, but I am still shaking with anger over this.

I understand your anger. Maybe you could ask the landlord if you could plant some of those fast growing privacy trees (forgot the name) along the fence.
Personally, for me, I would not be upset about the oleander. When I was pretty young - 70's - we had an oleander 'fort' across the road. Every kid in the block played in this thing. Until one of the kids got poked in the eye by a leaf. She is now blind in that eye. Imagine if this happened to one of your cats or a child visiting.
Your neighbor may have done you a favor if you just take a breath and think about it. See if you can put something not so toxic in the yard for privacy.
Also, talk calmly with your neighbor and ask him to please not touch the Ash. Then both of you decide how and who will trim it.

Edited: Sorry, got you and Mia mixed up. You own the home (correct?), so no need to ask landlord.

 

[kashmir64]

kashmir64 yeah i know .... they hate being in the carrier though and may have to chase them down lol

Start by leaving the carrier open and putting treats in it. Do this until they associate the carrier with treats. If you use 'kitty crack' (Temptations), as much as I hate that stuff, they will adjust pretty quickly. Then, when it's time to move, they will be used to going in and it won't be as stressful.
Personally, I wouldn't use kitty crack but something they like just as much but healthier. That's just me though.

 

[furmonster mom]

Personally, for me, I would not be upset about the oleander. When I was pretty young - 70's - we had an oleander 'fort' across the road. Every kid in the block played in this thing. Until one of the kids got poked in the eye by a leaf. She is now blind in that eye. Imagine if this happened to one of your cats or a child visiting.
Your neighbor may have done you a favor if you just take a breath and think about it. See if you can put something not so toxic in the yard for privacy.
Also, talk calmly with your neighbor and ask him to please not touch the Ash. Then both of you decide how and who will trim it.

Edited: Sorry, got you and Mia mixed up. You own the home (correct?), so no need to ask landlord.

It’s not that I have any love for the oleander, I’ll be the first to admit they are a pain to manage. However, they are one of the few large shrub trees that can withstand the 120° summer heat and drought conditions here.

All she had to do was approach me and have an adult conversation about trimming it.
Instead, they cut it down to base branches and ruined the shade they provide.

And when I texted her, letting her know that I called a service to address the Ash, she immediately questioned it. She basically called me a liar by saying “don’t say things if you haven’t truly completed them”. When I asked her why she thought I was lying, she gaslighted by saying she wasn’t “into the drama”. She literally caused the drama in the first place.
Then, when I called her out on that, she said she didn’t have time to deal with “people like you”.

So that’s the kind of person I’m dealing with.

Oh, and she wants to get on the HOA Board.

 

[susanm9006]

Just finished an unplanned project. I was cleaning up the garage a few days ago and as I moved a long open shelf cabinet on wheels it tipped forward and smashed to the floor. Broken items, spilled liquid, stuff everywhere and and cabinet on the floor with a broken wheel. Had to repair the base, buy a new wheel, get this massive cabinet back upright, clean up the mess and get everything back in place , all in 90 degree heat. Staying indoors now and enjoying the air conditioning.

 

[kashmir64]

It’s not that I have any love for the oleander, I’ll be the first to admit they are a pain to manage. However, they are one of the few large shrub trees that can withstand the 120° summer heat and drought conditions here.

All she had to do was approach me and have an adult conversation about trimming it.
Instead, they cut it down to base branches and ruined the shade they provide.

And when I texted her, letting her know that I called a service to address the Ash, she immediately questioned it. She basically called me a liar by saying “don’t say things if you haven’t truly completed them”. When I asked her why she thought I was lying, she gaslighted by saying she wasn’t “into the drama”. She literally caused the drama in the first place.
Then, when I called her out on that, she said she didn’t have time to deal with “people like you”.

So that’s the kind of person I’m dealing with.

Oh, and she wants to get on the HOA Board.

Didn't realize you were dealing with a Karen and an HOA.
Put a fence line of Ocotillo, they provide some shade and privacy. Let's see her deal with THAT.

 

[furmonster mom]

Didn't realize you were dealing with a Karen and an HOA.
Put a fence line of Ocotillo, they provide some shade and privacy. Let's see her deal with THAT.

Today, my anger has turned to grief & depression

I spent several years trimming this to grow with strong branches, shaping it to be more tree-like.
And this is what they did





The greenery in the background of this last pic is the Ash that she’s complaining about.
The arborist that came out today said that cutting those branches back is likely to be harmful to the tree, which is already struggling. Also, cutting those branches aren’t going to make a damn bit of difference when the leaves fall and the wind kicks up. So the only thing that will be accomplished is hurting the tree.

 

[iPappy]

I realized yesterday that today marks one year since I joined TCS! This place is awesome in so many ways. Thank you everyone for your support when Tag was so sick. You'll never know how much that means to me. And thank you ALL for taking in this "stray"!

 

[kashmir64]

I'm confused, maybe it's just the lighting. But is your side the brick or the red?
If the grey brick is theirs, then the ash is no where near them. How can they cut it?

 

[susanm9006]

I'm confused, maybe it's just the lighting. But is your side the brick or the red?
If the grey brick is theirs, then the ash is no where near them. How can they cut it?

It is legal in most places to cut anything that overhangs your property. Here in Minnesota it is also legal to go onto a neighbors property to cut off a limb that hangs over yours. I have had to do it numerous times because of branches resting on my shed or overhanging my electric wires. I do always give my neighbors a heads up that it is happening though.

 

[furmonster mom]

I'm confused, maybe it's just the lighting. But is your side the brick or the red?
If the grey brick is theirs, then the ash is no where near them. How can they cut it?

The red is inside my backyard looking toward the front.
The grey is a reversed angle from the front looking toward the back (we are not allowed to paint the front), so the Ash is in the back corner of my yard.

 

[kashmir64]

It is legal here to cut what's on your side also. However, you most certainly cannot go onto your neighbors property to cut a limb. This constitutes trespass. Unless of course you have permission.
I hope 'Karen' does nothing to the Ash and lets you handle it.
And let's doubly hope she doesn't get on the board.