What's on your Mind Thread - 2022

[strider rose]

im just wondering how everyone spends their holidays ... either with loved ones or alone ? and how do you handle being alone

 

[Kat0121]

I guess I do both. The girls are my loved ones but most people would say I'm alone. I "handle" it just fine. I wish being alone didn't seem sad to everyone else because in reality it can be very freeing. It's all about perspective. IMO it's better to be alone than with people who cause stress or aggravation.

What I don't deal with:

Drama
Arguments
Other people's dietary wants/ needs
The stress of having to do all the cooking and cleanup that a big meal brings



I can eat anything I like at any time I like. There's no, "Ok. so what do YOU want?" I do always have something the girls like but they have basic needs. Plain cooked meat. I can buy something simple like a ribeye steak, a half turkey breast or a turkey thigh and the 3 of us can enjoy it. The meal doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
No additional housework
Not putting up decorations only I will see that I'll just have to take down again assuming Sophie doesn't destroy them first.
Not having to get dressed up. I think the cats prefer me in my pajamas.
No expectations. I can do whatever I want on MY schedule.

 

[strider rose]

Kat0121 yeah i see your point there ... i never handled being alone very well and much rather enjoy being around others but at certain times though

 

[iPappy]

It's just my Mom and I, and we hang out Christmas Eve night, and a few hours on Christmas Day.

 

[Kat0121]

Kat0121 yeah i see your point there ... i never handled being alone very well and much rather enjoy being around others but at certain times though

I have nothing against having others around but once you get to the point where YOU make all the rules, it's hard to go back. Sure. Come over but we're doing things MY way and stay off Sophie's recliner.

 

[susanm9006]

im just wondering how everyone spends their holidays ... either with loved ones or alone ? and how do you handle being alone

My son and his girlfriend come over Christmas Eve. It’s very low key, we have pizza and open gifts. Christmas day I go to my sister’s for dinner. Its nice to see everyone but really nice to go home too. Because I am an introvert, I need quiet, alone time and honestly being with people is harder for me than being alone.

 

[iPappy]

My son and his girlfriend come over Christmas Eve. It’s very low key, we have pizza and open gifts. Christmas day I go to my sister’s for dinner. Its nice to see everyone but really nice to go home too. Because I am an introvert, I need quiet, alone time and honestly being with people is harder for me than being alone.

I really do like being around a lot of people. But I find myself completely exhausted after a few hours, it's like my mind and body just spontaneously crap out. strider rose I find it helps me if I have some of my favorite things/activities waiting for me around the holidays, things I sometimes don't have time to do but really enjoy.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

We’re losing yet another cook at the village. Stupid company pays three dollars under the average wage for cooks in this country and wonder why they can’t keep anyone halfway decent. Bet they’ll want to put our rents up if they do pay them more, too. Can’t have those profits going down.

 

[iPappy]

We’re losing yet another cook at the village. Stupid company pays three dollars under the average wage for cooks in this country and wonder why they can’t keep anyone halfway decent. Bet they’ll want to put our rents up if they do pay them more, too. Can’t have those profits going down.

I have known many businesses who do these things and I don't understand it at all. They find people who are punctual and reliable and do their job, undercut their pay, and then either fire them or wonder why they quit. I don't get this at all.
When we hired our groomers, they both asked if they got to keep their tips. We said, "of course you do". Turns out, some places don't allow them to keep their tips. I can't wrap my head around that.
I love our staff and would prefer to work to keep them happy.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

im just wondering how everyone spends their holidays ... either with loved ones or alone ? and how do you handle being alone

I have my kids and husband so holidays aren’t TOO quiet. But they aren’t the big family ones I had when I was young. We’ve had my mom and stepdad local but they are moving before Christmas. (Actually we only had my mom for Thanksgiving.) Some years they’ve gone to see my stepdad’s family that’s only a couple hours away; so it’s just been the 4 of us.

We just try to make the most of it. I still do most traditional things because that’s important for my kids too. But we just have it more low-key. Sometimes it feels like we just have to choose to be happy and not think about what is missing. Christmas might be like that this year. It does help having kids around that are young enough to be excited about things.

I have known many businesses who do these things and I don't understand it at all. They find people who are punctual and reliable and do their job, undercut their pay, and then either fire them or wonder why they quit. I don't get this at all.

I know several people who were let go because their employer wanted to hire younger people they could pay less. (Yes it was age discrimination but good luck proving it right? Especially because one was a lawyer.) It backfired every time. One lady said her boss had to hire 4 people to replace her. Another said it took 3 new people to do her job. Serves them right

Another had it happen when he was a part time instructor at a college’s program. They tried to hire him back at significantly less pay. He said no and also quit his position giving people their licensing exams. Students started having to travel out of state for it. Oops. There was already a shortage of them in the industry too.

 

[iPappy]

I know several people who were let go because their employer wanted to hire younger people they could pay less. (Yes it was age discrimination but good luck proving it right? Especially because one was a lawyer.) It backfired every time. One lady said her boss had to hire 4 people to replace her. Another said it took 3 new people to do her job. Serves them right

Another had it happen when he was a part time instructor at a college’s program. They tried to hire him back at significantly less pay. He said no and also quit his position giving people their licensing exams. Students started having to travel out of state for it. Oops. There was already a shortage of them in the industry too.

Back during some difficult years, I got a job at a local family owned grocery type place. I asked for part time 20-ish hours a week (I had another job and was juggling my schedule). My first week, I got 38 hours! The older workers were incredibly sweet to me my first day working, but I could tell they were irritated about something. Later, I learned they, the people who had been there the longest and had carried their department for years, had their hours massively cut because they were hiring us younger people in who would work for less than the people who had gotten raises over the years. One lady had her hours cut to 6! Six hours! And she was a very hard worker.
I was there for a few years and over time, my hours leveled out to 10-15, and shortly before I left, my hours got cut to 6-8 a week, and the new younger girls got 38 (never 40, never enough for "full time".) I picked up two new part time jobs, and put in my notice. It was a mess (but I still really miss a lot of the people I worked with there, they were awesome.)

 

[MoochNNoodles]

and the new younger girls got 38 (never 40, never enough for "full time".)

That was my last 2 jobs. I worked 36 hours a week so no benefits were required. I mean I knew at hiring and it was ok because I got insurance through DH; but still. At one place I was almost running the office because I was her only employee until she got so much business that she hired another provider and more part time staff. One was going to be temporary to cover my maternity leave; but I never went back and she stayed several years. The boss mentioned a promotion coming after my maternity leave but I didn’t want to leave DD. And I realized daycare would have taken all but maybe $20 of my pay. It literally wasn’t worth it. I mean Id have not broken even if I had to be out sick with DD since I had no benefits at all.

But I did like a lot about that job itself. No job is perfect and there was a lot of good there too. I had only been there a few months when I got pregnant so I was nervous but when I told her she was so excited she threw her arms in the air and started jumping up and down. I was shocked and probably looked at her like she was nuts. I stopped there several years later and she still had DD’s birth announcement hanging on one of her machines.

Good coworkers and especially good bosses or supervisors make a hard job worth it.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

I have known many businesses who do these things and I don't understand it at all. They find people who are punctual and reliable and do their job, undercut their pay, and then either fire them or wonder why they quit. I don't get this at all.
When we hired our groomers, they both asked if they got to keep their tips. We said, "of course you do". Turns out, some places don't allow them to keep their tips. I can't wrap my head around that.
I love our staff and would prefer to work to keep them happy.

I put it down to greed and stupidity.

 

[iPappy]

That was my last 2 jobs. I worked 36 hours a week so no benefits were required. I mean I knew at hiring and it was ok because I got insurance through DH; but still. At one place I was almost running the office because I was her only employee until she got so much business that she hired another provider and more part time staff. One was going to be temporary to cover my maternity leave; but I never went back and she stayed several years. The boss mentioned a promotion coming after my maternity leave but I didn’t want to leave DD. And I realized daycare would have taken all but maybe $20 of my pay. It literally wasn’t worth it. I mean Id have not broken even if I had to be out sick with DD since I had no benefits at all.

But I did like a lot about that job itself. No job is perfect and there was a lot of good there too. I had only been there a few months when I got pregnant so I was nervous but when I told her she was so excited she threw her arms in the air and started jumping up and down. I was shocked and probably looked at her like she was nuts. I stopped there several years later and she still had DD’s birth announcement hanging on one of her machines.

Good coworkers and especially good bosses or supervisors make a hard job worth it.

That's actually so sweet that she had your DD's birth announcement still hanging up after several years, and how excited she was when she realized you were pregnant! I don't have kids myself, but I have friends and co-workers who have hired childcare, and I don't know how they do it, financially.
My years at that store are filled with memories of wonderful people. I had my preferences of who I worked with, and when I saw the schedule lined up that I got to work with those people and only those people I couldn't wait. I feel like there is work to be done, and that comes first, but if you can laugh and joke around it makes the day go smoother and faster and leaves you feeling stress-free for your next shift. I've worked in places that the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
A big rule in our business is if you start stirring the pot and creating drama and rumors about your co-workers, you're done and out the door. And we've followed up on that rule a few times.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

I have my kids and husband so holidays aren’t TOO quiet. But they aren’t the big family ones I had when I was young. We’ve had my mom and stepdad local but they are moving before Christmas. (Actually we only had my mom for Thanksgiving.) Some years they’ve gone to see my stepdad’s family that’s only a couple hours away; so it’s just been the 4 of us.

We just try to make the most of it. I still do most traditional things because that’s important for my kids too. But we just have it more low-key. Sometimes it feels like we just have to choose to be happy and not think about what is missing. Christmas might be like that this year. It does help having kids around that are young enough to be excited about things.

I know several people who were let go because their employer wanted to hire younger people they could pay less. (Yes it was age discrimination but good luck proving it right? Especially because one was a lawyer.) It backfired every time. One lady said her boss had to hire 4 people to replace her. Another said it took 3 new people to do her job. Serves them right

Another had it happen when he was a part time instructor at a college’s program. They tried to hire him back at significantly less pay. He said no and also quit his position giving people their licensing exams. Students started having to travel out of state for it. Oops. There was already a shortage of them in the industry too.

Job agencies were the worst like that last time I was job hunting. They basically want someone who has years of experience (but not too many, or overqualified) in that specific job, no transferrable skills, no training required, AND they want them to be 17 so they can pay youth wages.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

I was there for a few years and over time, my hours leveled out to 10-15, and shortly before I left, my hours got cut to 6-8 a week, and the new younger girls got 38 (never 40, never enough for "full time".) I picked up two new part time jobs, and put in my notice. It was a mess (but I still really miss a lot of the people I worked with there, they were awesome.)

That’s like what happened to me in the 90s. I was working in the state public service and had gone part time because the role was stressful. They made me acting team leader but used the excuse of me being part time not to give me any extra pay.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I have friends and co-workers who have hired childcare, and I don't know how they do it, financially.

One of my friends struggled massively when her kids were little. She had 3 small kids and her husband worked a factory job. I didn't understand when she said she couldn't afford to work. She was able to go to college when her kids got a little older (it's more complicated than that; but that's her story) and is a nurse now who bought her own home. But yeah; that was eye opening.

 

[Kat0121]

One of my friends struggled massively when her kids were little. She had 3 small kids and her husband worked a factory job. I didn't understand when she said she couldn't afford to work. She was able to go to college when her kids got a little older (it's more complicated than that; but that's her story) and is a nurse now who bought her own home. But yeah; that was eye opening.

I understand that completely. Daycare is insanely expensive. My DD is 27. When she was a baby daycare was $125 a week. That was in 1995. I was fortunate to find a good daycare center and when she got older I had a WONDERFUL daycare lady that worked out of her home that was within walking distance of our house. DD started kindergarten right after she started going there. This lady took all the kids to school and picked them up. She provided meals and snacks. She also took them on field trips. She wasn't as expensive as the first daycare center because DD was potty trained by that point. They charge more for kids in diapers. I can't imagine how much it would be for 3 kids these days.

 

[Lari]

Cost of daycare is one of the reasons I'm staying home for now. I know you're supposed to factor in retirement benefits and stuff when you talk about breaking even, but I'm not too worried about getting back in the school system once my kids are in school full time. If anything else, I can always sub for a flexible schedule and extra income.

 

[Margot Lane]

Cost of daycare is one of the reasons I'm staying home for now. I know you're supposed to factor in retirement benefits and stuff when you talk about breaking even, but I'm not too worried about getting back in the school system once my kids are in school full time. If anything else, I can always sub for a flexible schedule and extra income.

Thank you for being a teacher: you help so many young minds bloom & teachers never get paid enough, can never ever be appreciated enough.