What's going on with me

[iPappy]

OMG. You certainly called that one right. I just looked out the window and dad is out there on the tractor plowing the driveway/yard! What do I do?! He knows that my brother is coming tonight to do all that! He must be trying to prove he can stay here and take care of himself.

I'm not sure where you're at, but the cold alone is really bad for a sensitive heart.
Do you think if you asked him for help doing things he could safely do, like folding laundry or washing dishes, he would take you up on it?

 

[maggiedemi]

Dad sorted the trash, plowed the driveway on the tractor, defrosted the little fridge & cleaned it, went down cellar 4 times, started the wood furnace, went to the mailbox with his cane, carried in my FedEx package, tried to go to the shed but it was locked, tried to use the snowblower but that was locked too, made hard boiled eggs, cooked in the instapot, used the food processor, washed the instapot & food processor, did all his dishes and some of mine. He wants to feed the cats too, but I said no, I like doing that again. My brother gave him a lecture when he got here last night. But dad just said "You guys are trying to make me a vegetable!" They got in an argument. But they are okay today. My brother went to see my mom in town and he took like 10 bags of her hoarding clutter to the dump!!! She would faint dead away if she knew.

 

[susanm9006]

He is doing things that makes him feel better and if he is able to I think it is probably good for him mentally and physically. It would help if you or your brother have a written list from his doctor of the things he is specifically not supposed to do. It might make it easier to get an agreement from him not to do those.

 

[maggiedemi]

He has a nurse coming here Monday to work on his drop foot. She said he could drive again if she gets him a special boot, or shoe?
My brother is trading Dad's standard truck for an automatic small SUV that I can drive. He has temporary medical power of attorney I guess? Dad was telling me all the things mom said about me to the caseworker. It ain't pretty. For somebody she hates, she still calls me every single day! I can't be mean to her though, I just don't have it in me. Dad said they were talking about turning my cats over to a shelter, SPCA, or turning them loose in the woods. Thank God that's all over and they are mine again. I just have to go to therapy and prove I can take care of myself and them. I didn't even know that a person could lose their rights! Just based on what a crazy lady says.

 

[maggiedemi]

Am I allowed to post twice in a row? I packed all of mom's gluten free foods for my brother to take to her in town. Dad and I could probably live on what's left over for a year. We will try to use it up. Dad cleaned out the upstairs freezer yesterday and composted a bunch of stuff that he said was too old and freezer burnt. There's like a lifetime supply of cheese in there. Maybe we can make a stuffed crust pizza with the string cheese. He also cleaned the bathroom sink. I wonder if he does toilets. Seriously, he did more this week than most people do in a month! His blood pressure is a little low, so we are trying to make him relax today. Tomorrow we are going to try to take him for lunch at a diner in town after his home nurse appointment & my Moderna Vaccine appointment at Rite Aid. My first vaccine. I hope it's safe.

 

[rubysmama]

Your Dad must be really feeling well, and I'm sure it's better to keep moving, than just laying around. But hope he's not overdoing it.

Good luck with your vaccine shot. Hopefully your only side effect will be a sore arm.

 

[CatladyJan]

Your dad is making me feel tired just reading about it

 

[maggiedemi]

My brother put in a lift in the cellarway after he replaced the old stairs. My dad refused to ride on it, so I took a ride on it twice. It's kinda fun, but it takes too long! I could have been up and down those stairs ten times on foot. I guess that was one of the rules from the caseworker, they had to put in that chair lift. Well at least it's done, even if nobody uses it. The nurse is coming tomorrow and then I am getting my vaccine and we are going to lunch for calzones. My brother wants me to wear a mask. Blah! I thought all that was over.

I missed my social services interview by the time the mail got out here to the boonies, but the lady called me and did the interview over the phone! That was nice of her. I had to get proof of residency, somebody not related to me had to fill it out saying I live here, so the lady mom lives with filled it out today. I'm mailing it tomorrow. It has to be there by Friday! I hope the mail is quick. They make you do everything so fast!!!

 

[maggiedemi]

My dad is in the kitchen signing a bunch of papers with my brother! I hope everything will be okay. Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter, social services and my therapist/social worker will help me no matter what happens. It is just a bit scary. I am eavesdropping on them from the hallway! He must be giving him full power of attorney?

 

[Margot Lane]

I love and know and get your dad: he needs and wants purpose, has a little feistiness, wants to feel he can do little things for himself. Such a tricky balance between wanting that, and what he just went through. The love you feel for him glows in all you’ve told us. I feel optimistic in that whatever choices get made here, they will be positive ones. And how wonderful, the kitties recognize him & are coming out to play! Whichever way the paperwork goes, your dad knows you love him. Stay strong in yourself.

 

[Jcatbird]

Just want you to know that I am keeping up here. It sounds to me like you are both finally feeling better. Maybe your mom is too? She calls you daily so if the pressure is off everyone, Mom is in a better environment for her, you and Dad can enjoy doing things there, the whole world has shifted for everyone. If a lift is installed, maybe this is now going to be how things function for awhile. Keep it up! You have held on for a very long time and now you can just work on you, kitties and Dad.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

My dad is in the kitchen signing a bunch of papers with my brother! I hope everything will be okay. Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter, social services and my therapist/social worker will help me no matter what happens. It is just a bit scary. I am eavesdropping on them from the hallway! He must be giving him full power of attorney?

~ Not sure but I believe things like that have to be witnessed by a Notary or attorney ... ?

 

[maggiedemi]

Nobody witnessed the signing. But now my brother can speak for my father on the phone, with nurses, doctors, meals on wheels, deliveries, checking account, bills, buying a car. It's very convenient. He's really good at all this stuff. I wish I had as much energy as he has! He did get overwhelmed and tired cleaning my mom's room though! We didn't realize how much junk she had in there. I think he finally realizes I was telling the truth about her. He said it's an illness.

I was talking to mom on the phone and she made me swear not to tell my brother, but she was going to come here on Friday to see what we are doing. Of course I told my brother! He's like no way, she can't come here yet. She would just cry and try to stop the cleaning.

Dad is really excited for his meals on wheels. That starts tomorrow with meatloaf. I can get a meal too if I give a $5 donation. I might get the mac and cheese with stewed tomatoes on Feb 22 if it's vegetarian. Everything else looks like it has meat except for the cheese omelet, but that has sausage on the side that might touch.

My brother and I cooked dinner last night! It tasted so good, but he uses so many pots and pans! 4 huge ones. It took me 2 hours to clean the kitchen! He showed me how to get tofu crispy. He made it really good and super spicy.

My brother and I went to lunch yesterday at a diner. I got a veggie lovers calzone. It was so good. The marinara sauce was amazing, had chunks in it and tasted like it had special spices in it. I also got my vaccine. They only had Pfizer. I don't have any side effects, but my brother gave me some Advil.

 

[Margot Lane]

Great! Sounds as if things are working out! It’s good he has you and your brother—- I used to deliver for Meals on Wheels and quite often, I’d be the only person they’d see all day…and they would want to talk, only, I couldn’t, cos then the other meals would get cold. But the food is generally pretty good and nutritious and, more importantly, HOT.

 

[CatladyJan]

Such awesome news.

 

[maggiedemi]

they would want to talk, only, I couldn’t, cos then the other meals would get cold. But the food is generally pretty good and nutritious and, more importantly, HOT.

I just mentioned that to my dad, I said don't keep them talking or the food will get cold. Ha! I see one day they are having a cheese omelet, but it comes with sausage links. I wonder if the sausage would touch the omelet? I guess I could ask. I like that I can get a meal with him too if it's vegetarian.

Thanks everybody for your comments and support. It really helps.

 

[neely]

I guess I could ask. I like that I can get a meal with him too if it's vegetarian.

I would imagine a lot of the people they cater to have special dietary needs, e.g. low sodium, low fat, non-dairy, etc. So getting a vegetarian meal for yourself shouldn't be too difficult.

I'm so impressed with what your brother, dad and you have accomplished since your mother has been gone. If I were you, and this is just my suggestion, so take it for what it's worth - I would limit the amount of phone calls with your mom. I hope she doesn't actually show up on Friday but glad your brother will be there.

So happy your brother and you have been cooking together and were able to go to the diner for lunch yesterday. Now I have a taste for a veggie calzone, can't remember the last time I had one. You sound so much better since your dad came home and your brother has been taking over some of the responsibilities. Hugs to you and your family.

 

[rubysmama]

Everything you've been posting lately sounds really positive. Glad your brother finally realized you were telling the truth about your mother. Has he apologized for all the stress he put you through, when threatening to kick you out, and get rid of your cats?

 

[maggiedemi]

I would limit the amount of phone calls with your mom. I hope she doesn't actually show up on Friday but glad your brother will be there.

She calls me almost every day! I just can't be mean to her or ignore her though. I just don't have it in me. He won't be here Friday! He just left. He's not coming this weekend, he's coming the following weekend.

Has he apologized for all the stress he put you through, when threatening to kick you out, and get rid of your cats?

Yes, he said he was sorry for the way he went about it, he didn't really understand. My mom was painting me as this violent, mentally ill person that she wanted out of the house. Funny I ended up in her house with her washing machine, with her husband. Strange turn of events.

My mom called me the other day crying and asked me not to talk about her in therapy, and about how she wouldn't let me use the washing machine. Well if I can't talk about my mother, then I might as well not even go to therapy! What would be the point? I told my brother that, but he still has that mother worship thing. He said don't tell the therapist that mom wouldn't let you use the washing machine. Tell her that you "felt" that you couldn't use the washing machine. That way you're not blaming mom. What the heck?! That's nuts. Therapy is for me and it's supposed to be confidential. I'll say what I please!!!!

 

[rubysmama]

Yes, he said he was sorry for the way he went about it, he didn't really understand.

Too bad he believed everything your mother said, though, but at least he realized she was lying, and apologized to you. So good for him.

Therapy is for me and it's supposed to be confidential. I'll say what I please!!!!

Exactly. Otherwise, what's the point.