What's going on with me

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maggiedemi

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Forgot to tell you how I found my dad. Maggie ran in his bedroom. She must have known something was up. He was on the bed moaning. Then he went silent, like he was dead. I screamed in his face and clapped my hands in his face and screamed for him to come back to earth. That might be when he had the heart attack. Then he came back and said what do you mean? I'm here. Then he started moaning again, gasping for breath, then all the body secretions started coming out that tells you they are near the end- poop, pee, vomit. I was so scared! I yelled for my mom and said I think dad is dying! She called 911 and they took him away on January 1st. I have been alone here ever since. Nobody wanted to talk to me about how devastated I was. They just said "Grow up! Stop making it about you." Now they want me and the cats gone. I just don't understand it. My one brother said I could stay, but just now he sent me an email about moving out again. He must have talked to my oldest brother, the rich one paying for the remodel. He wants me out.
 

rubysmama

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Oh, sweetie, that must have been so frightening and traumatizing, and it's cruel of your brothers to not recognize what you've gone through. And even worse that they are trying to kick you out of the house. Where exactly do they expect you to go. The end, and best, result, of course, is for you and your fur babies to have a place of our own, but surely they realize that won't miraculously happen overnight.

You being there on your own these couple weeks, though, is proof that you are able to take care of yourself and your cats. So remember that when you need to advocate for yourself to the social worker and/or therapist.

And also, remember, you (and Maggie) likely saved your father's life. Your brothers should be so appreciative that you found your Dad in time, not trying to cut you out of the family. So unfair to you. 🤗
 
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maggiedemi

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Call Legal Aid. Free lawyers.
Why do I need a lawyer? You're probably right, I should just move away and have no contact. I'm just so tired and they are all I have besides my 2 feral cats. I've been through so much, and this is all such a shock. I never thought this could or would happen. Dad promised that the cats and I would always have a home here. If he has his mind and is giving out orders on the fuel, garbage, snow, hot water, then why isn't he ordering them to treat me and the cats better? What did I ever do to deserve this treatment? I asked my brother for some comforting words the other night so I could sleep and he said "No! I'm not responding to you anymore tonight!" He messaged all my friends on Facebook and told them that I was a liar and to stop comforting me because it was feeding my anxiety.
 
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maggiedemi

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And also, remember, you (and Maggie) likely saved your father's life. Your brothers should be so appreciative that you found your Dad in time
I know! That's what makes it so confusing. I guess I'll just have to find the strength to move out. But it will be so hard with so little time, and have nothing to bring with me for an apartment, for supplies. I don't own anything here.
 

CatladyJan

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M maggiedemi i too am sorry for all the loss you have gone through and what you are feeling regarding your father. I’m sure this is hard on you. I’ve just been more concerned with your future and I don’t want you to be homeless and not have your cats.
 

artiemom

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I do feel for you, but you cannot believe any of your family. It is time to stand up for yourself and take charge of your own life, and not live life from what others want of you.

Yes, you have been through a lot.. and you probably saved your dad's life.. Good for you! But.. he is in no shape to take care of you.. anything he promises can be legally challenged at this point in time, due to his health issues. He loves you, but he is not strong enough to take care of you..

You have been through a lot.. but, you really do need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop believing your family, and TAKE Charge of the situation.. and do not tell anyone what you are doing.

Get a lawyer-- to represent you and your LEGAL rights.. You do have some.. But as time goes on, without you doing anything proactive, any rights you have will vanish; without you realizing it.

The social worker is probably busy helping others, who want to be helped. If this is the same one you had before, and dropped, then I can see her hesitancy to contact you. But she should return a message. Call her office, see if someone else is available to help you... Be Proactive.. not passive as you have been.

Tuff words, but I can see tougher times ahead for you; IF you do not start standing up for yourself, and take all the help that is Immediately available to you.. Stop waiting for others to decide your fate. Take action.

We really cannot give you any more advice than we already have. The rest is up to you.. .. You have been given very good, solid, stable, advice,.. yet, you are not helping yourself..

Sounds so harsh, but it is the truth. You need help, immediate help; yet, you are not looking for it.. This "professional". Who is it?? and why do you have to see this particular one? Why are they some how connected to your brothers/mother..
You need to step back and think... otherwise, you will be out on the street without your cats... or you will institutionalized.
It is coming down to that.

I apologize for the harshness, but sometimes it needs to be said.

I know you are tired and scared, but there is help out there.. you need to search for it, yourself.
 

Jcatbird

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M maggiedemi All of the above is very frightening for you and you have been through so much. Stay here! Stay here! Do not leave the site. Please do not leave. This is our only way of communicating with you. Stay here. Much has been said and I know the situation. You need to stay with friends who love you. Gently we will just hold your hand for a minute. Take a deep breath. Are you here? :grouphug2::hugs:
 

AbbysMom

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I'm not trying to be a jerk here at all, but I am also having alarm bells go off.

Back when you got out of the hospital in 2019 you said:

Yes! I got my medical folder. I had to demand it. I told my Mom she is denying me Medical care which is against the law. I had to be brave, it was so hard. But I got my folder, my appointment with Medicaid is on Friday. Mom admitted that she was never going to give me my folder because she didn't want them to arrest her for the condition of the house. But my brothers are coming to help remodel the bathroom and get out the black mold. They said they know how to do it quite affordably and would have sooner if they knew how bad it was. We are going to rent dumpsters too and clean out the house from the hoarding.
Did they ever take care of the black mold situation back then? If they didn't then you shouldn't believe anything they say now. If they did, then they don't know how to do things as well as they say they do.

In that thread you mentioned you had a case worker. Do you still have their number? If yes, call them and tell them you need help. You mentioned that when you were in the hospital back then there were two nurses that you had gone to school with that helped care for you. Contact them and tell them you need help. I would not trust your brothers or mother at all right now. I understand that your father's heart attack has been hard on you as well as everything that has happened since and that you are tired. You can't rest just yet. You need to fight. You didn't think you could back in 2019 but you did. You can do this. You have to.
 

neely

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M maggiedemi I'm sure you already know this but everyone here wants to help and support you. :grouphug: We only want what's best for you. The above members have given you truthful advice so please read and reread what they have posted. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to reach out and pm any one of us. We have faith that you can make it on your own.:rbheart:
 

Lari

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That is worrisome. She really needs to get super far away. Not to town, but out of state. She's just going to continue being abused otherwise.
 

rubysmama

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I hope her brothers haven't taken away her phone / internet, but since they were going to kick her out of the house and give away her cats, it's certainly not out of the realm of possibility. It must be so scary for her not knowing from day to day, what they'll try to do next.

Sending positive energy and love her way.

Be strong, M maggiedemi . :hearthrob:

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