What To Do And When To Let Them Go

CatLoaf

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Jan 21, 2018
Messages
33
Purraise
20
My cat was essentially diagnosed with cancer today (I've posted about him in the Cat Health forum - the ultrasound showed a tumor that wasn't evident when he was examined by a vet earlier this month).

I've lurked in past posts, but if you have any advice on how to make the best of his remaining time and keep him comfortable, and when to recognize it's time to let him go, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Right now he's disinterested in food (maybe treats) and is lethargic, but he put up a fight when I got him into the carrier for the ultrasound, can still jump up on things, and still loves cuddles and scratches behind the ear. I'm more afraid of letting him go too soon when he's not ready to go and want his last moments to not be stressful. He's my best boy and I need to do right by him.
 

les26

Sylvester's daddy
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 19, 2015
Messages
2,414
Purraise
4,862
Location
Emmaus, Pennsylvania
I am sorry that you are having to deal with this issue, I wish you both well! We have used Transfer Factors Plus with very good results on a cat that was diagnosed with a brain tumor years ago and with that and Prednisone she lived a very good 1.5 years after that. I don't know if it would help in your situation but I am just throwing it out there, if it is not too far advanced maybe it would help, it couldn't hurt. You can look it up online.

I will pray that you both are well, and that you make the right choices at the right time. God Bless.....:alright: :grouphug: :rbheart:
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
16,583
Purraise
22,965
Location
Nebraska, USA
As long as he can enjoy cuddles he is still living, not existing. I just lost my seventeen year old Burt and the change before his death was dramatic. Your sweet boy will tell you when it was time.
When they try to jump, and miss, it is close. As is sleeping in out of the way and secluded places. My boy napped on our laps every night, but a few weeks before his death he quit. They quit eating almost completely, the weight loss is quick. There is a look in their eyes of dullness, of lack of interest in their surroundings. But they still purr when you stroke that precious head, and they still love and need you with all their little hearts.
I would definitely try to get the vet to come to your house when it is time. If not, get a liquid pain medicine or an injection to give to ease the anxiety in those last moments. Cats are very good at hiding their pain.
For now just tempt him with ANYTHING he will eat. My Burt loved Arby's roast beef and bacon. Shaved deli turkey and Gerber's baby food in turkey works sometimes too. Offer water and keep many bowls around to tempt them to drink. Watch where he wants to rest and make a soft bed there for him. I had one on my kitchen counter for a month, it was his favorite place. Everytime you walk by stop and stroke him, telling him how much he is loved and what a good boy he is. The comfort will help tremendously. Some cats will hide when the time has come, my Burt called out to us 6 hours before and we were near and comforting him the whole time.
There is no way to prepare your heart for what is coming. The pain and finality of your loss will hit you like a truck. You will feel helpless and confused and angry, but mostly you will feel grief. Most of us have been there, we can help and support you through it. I'll pray for your sweet boy to go quietly in his sleep, use the bond of love between you to bring him comfort and peace. For now just hold on to that precious boy and just love him, it is all he wants and needs......may you be blessed for loving him so much.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #4

CatLoaf

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Jan 21, 2018
Messages
33
Purraise
20
He slept with me last night and still likes having me around and having me give him attention and affection. He can still jump on the bed and onto the cat tree. He even got excited about the birds outside this morning.

However, he's been drinking a lot more water than he used to. He seems to be straining in the litter box now. There's a bald batch developing above his right eye. He's hiding out more in his shark bed (a bed that looks like a shark is eating him) in the last two days. He ate a bunch of treats - the only food he's not repulsed by - but hasn't been able to hold food down since this past weekend. He also seems to be in pain - his pupils were dilated this morning, he's been doing these pitiful meows, and he's been doing the crouch meatloaf post a lot more.

He's right at the point where I need to decide whether to let him go. He still has some life in him - it's not quite time yet right now. But his condition has been a lot worse since this past Friday. At this rate, his condition is only going to deteriorate more. Essentially this cancer is going to make him starve to death, and starvation is a slow and cruel way to go.

I know that there are a lot of drugs that can ease his pain and get him to eat. But when I tried to give him a little Pepcid AC as the vet suggested, he was agitated and stressed when I did so. He doesn't have much time left and he shouldn't have to live it full of stress just to die slower.

It hurts to see him like this and to think that it's only going to get worse. It obviously hurts him more to be in his condition. But he still has some life left.

I don't know what to do.
 

raysmyheart

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 21, 2015
Messages
2,866
Purraise
8,640
Location
Massachusetts
C CatLoaf , hi and my thoughts and prayers go out to you. :hugs: I can really remember all the confusion, sadness, and anxiety of thoughts I felt when my Rachel got cancer and passed. It was very helpful to me to be in contact with my vet during her illness because I was so confused about all the changes I was seeing in Rachel and didn't understand things changing in her medically. It was almost like I couldn't believe what was happening. I can tell you love this cat with all your might and I just want to let you know I am praying so hard for you during your cat's illness.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

CatLoaf

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Jan 21, 2018
Messages
33
Purraise
20
C CatLoaf , hi and my thoughts and prayers go out to you. :hugs: I can really remember all the confusion, sadness, and anxiety of thoughts I felt when my Rachel got cancer and passed. It was very helpful to me to be in contact with my vet during her illness because I was so confused about all the changes I was seeing in Rachel and didn't understand things changing in her medically. It was almost like I couldn't believe what was happening. I can tell you love this cat with all your might and I just want to let you know I am praying so hard for you during your cat's illness.
Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.
 

les26

Sylvester's daddy
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 19, 2015
Messages
2,414
Purraise
4,862
Location
Emmaus, Pennsylvania
He slept with me last night and still likes having me around and having me give him attention and affection. He can still jump on the bed and onto the cat tree. He even got excited about the birds outside this morning.

However, he's been drinking a lot more water than he used to. He seems to be straining in the litter box now. There's a bald batch developing above his right eye. He's hiding out more in his shark bed (a bed that looks like a shark is eating him) in the last two days. He ate a bunch of treats - the only food he's not repulsed by - but hasn't been able to hold food down since this past weekend. He also seems to be in pain - his pupils were dilated this morning, he's been doing these pitiful meows, and he's been doing the crouch meatloaf post a lot more.

He's right at the point where I need to decide whether to let him go. He still has some life in him - it's not quite time yet right now. But his condition has been a lot worse since this past Friday. At this rate, his condition is only going to deteriorate more. Essentially this cancer is going to make him starve to death, and starvation is a slow and cruel way to go.

I know that there are a lot of drugs that can ease his pain and get him to eat. But when I tried to give him a little Pepcid AC as the vet suggested, he was agitated and stressed when I did so. He doesn't have much time left and he shouldn't have to live it full of stress just to die slower.

It hurts to see him like this and to think that it's only going to get worse. It obviously hurts him more to be in his condition. But he still has some life left.

I don't know what to do.
I mean this only in the most respectful way, but there is a chance that he might spare you the agony and make the decision for you, and if that does happen and it is TRULY time for him to move on I pray and hope that it is very peaceful and painless.

I was playing string toys with Sylvester and a few others last night, and one of our other cats Slim had been vomiting foam the day before but seems okay now. About 10 days ago, Deb said she saw that he had thrown up and it looked like a bit of string toy or part of some fabric or something so maybe he ate something that he shouldn't have again, but the thought went through both our heads that his brother Skipper passed a few years ago very suddenly, so we must watch Slim too. But I was playing with Sylvester, my Angel boy, and the thought went through my head how upset I will be when/if something bad happens to him, I will be devastated, so I can only imagine what you are feeling like and have been there several times too, but you just do the best that you can with what you have, and remember this WONDERFUL saying a woman at work told me:

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" when the time comes.....:rbheart:
 

Purr-fect

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 20, 2017
Messages
1,843
Purraise
5,563
Catloaf there is much information on the internet that can help guide you to know when the time is "right".

I dont think we can ever know the best exact moment. We often feel guilty for either waiting "too long" or going "to soon" for that final trip to the vet.

Meanwhile, love, comfort and keep your boy. Try to hide your feelings as he may sense them and be more upset.

We are thinking of the two of you.
 

dragoriana

MajesticFloof
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 20, 2006
Messages
4,092
Purraise
543
Catloaf i'm sorry for what you and your kitty are going through. Like everyone has said, he will let you know. It is good that he is still keeping interest in some activity. The length of time they have left after diagnosis can vary so just keep loving and cuddling and encouraging him. If treats are all he is interested in, I hope he will eat some fresh meat (what cat doesn't like that???) and if that doesn't work I would go back to the vet for further discussion. It's definitely not good to continue on minimal food. I send you lots of positive thoughts, and know alot of us have been right where you are.
 

Timmer

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Jan 10, 2018
Messages
877
Purraise
1,024
Location
Cleveland, OH
Catloaf, I am so sorry. I just lost Timmer nearly three weeks ago so I had to make that decision for him.
You always worry it's too soon or you let them suffer too long. It's never easy. Timmer had IBD and possible lymphoma. He couldn't poop anymore. His colon had swollen shut. I could have had him sedated and the stool worked out of him, but I'd already done that twice and it was hard on him. I had him on chemo for a short period if time and prednisone, but his little body wasn't responding. The deciding factor for me was when I came home and saw he had thrown up everywhere, and dribbled liquid poop all over the house and it was smeared around in places. I had seen him struggling in the litter box to poop so hard he was falling over. That day knew he had been sick all day, home, alone, without me, and in pain and probably falling down in his own feces. His habits changed. He no longer wanted to hang out with me, but rather chose to hang out in a dark room alone in a heated bed I had for him. He started sleeping on the pillow behind my head at night, which was so sweet and a comfort to me, and I have to believe it was either his way of comforting himself or getting ready to say good bye to me. Or both.
I can't stand suffering of any kind. Maybe Tim could have lasted a bit longer. I don't know. But the quality and dignity of my proud cat was gone. He struggled with me to get into the carrier the morning I took him in and I was thinking gee, he is still strong. But...gee, you can't poop anymore. I mean...what more can I say.

Only you can assess the situation. If your kitty is in pain and you want him or her with you awhile longer perhaps you can get some pain medications from your vet. Try different foods. Give the kitty whatever they want to eat.
God be with you. When you make that decision, I do believe your kitty will thank you for it. Cancer is a terrible thing for both humans and animals. People always say the cancer hurts. I can't even imagine it. And our little loved ones don't know what's wrong. It's so sad. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
 

ara11

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Jan 23, 2018
Messages
109
Purraise
129
Cat Loaf I too am grappling with the when question. My cat doesnt have a cancer dx but end stage heart disease I went home reeling after the echocardiogram and the cardiologist offering euthanasia. Today, 3 weeks later was Pumas first day without meds. This was my decision after he vomited last dose. He was horrified having meds shoved down his throat 2x a day and didn't want to be around people, understandably. He was taking 5 pills in the morning and 2 at night- antibiotics finished and heart meds forever supposedly He ate twice today and went out on screened porch. He also used litter box. I feel he is having a quality day. He too lets me know he still loves me and wants this day. It has been a yo-yo of emotions. I know you are in pain and its hard to determine if your cat is also. Then again, they make their misery clear in the box going to the vet......

We analyze suffering or pain and despair and then see them move around etc. Certainly, the day or next day of diagnosis is not the day to put him down. Give both of you a chance to collect your wits and see what is and what isn't. This is your decision to make, unless he does it for you, and you must be ready. He is the same cat he was the day before you found out he has cancer, only you have changed. Love your cat and let him love back. You 2 will know or decide when its time.
 
Last edited:

tessie7

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
40
Purraise
30
Location
Phoenix, AZ
C CatLoaf I send you my thoughts in this traumatic time. It’s a really strange place to be, where your baby is sick and not getting better no matter what you try. But the alternative is unfathomable.

I went through this with my girl the last month and had to face that crossroad on Tuesday. And like others say, I truly think she told me. I woke up Tuesday and I knew. I saw it on her face. I called into work and I got her into the vet 1 last time, then we had some quality time in the afternoon before Lap of Love came in the evening. It was peaceful, and she is no longer in pain. I’m so happy I could hold her. I am soooo sad and keep crying, and it’s really hard to go through something so hard without her support. She always knew when i was upset and her presence soothed me. I could really use that now.

I wish you peace during this difficult time. Enjoy every moment with your boy.
 

Timmer

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Jan 10, 2018
Messages
877
Purraise
1,024
Location
Cleveland, OH
C CatLoaf , I just got off the phone with my vet, who I think the world of and is very kind. I was still feeling so unsettled about letting Timothy go. He told me Listen, do not beat yourself up. There was nothing you could do. He wasn't responding to medications at all. If he had been diagnosed months ago, he wouldn't have responded either. He went on to tell me he has a lot of clients with IBD and sometimes they respond and sometimes they don't. Timmer was someone who didn't respond.

This is our three week anniversary. That discussion couldn't have been at a better time for me. I feel like I can finally move on and let myself heal without feeling guilty that I should have done more.
I think when your mercy for your pet outweighs your own needs, you will know it's time.
Like I said, it is NEVER an easy decision, and you are NOT alone.
 

tessie7

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
40
Purraise
30
Location
Phoenix, AZ
C CatLoaf , I just got off the phone with my vet, who I think the world of and is very kind. I was still feeling so unsettled about letting Timothy go. He told me Listen, do not beat yourself up. There was nothing you could do. He wasn't responding to medications at all. If he had been diagnosed months ago, he wouldn't have responded either. He went on to tell me he has a lot of clients with IBD and sometimes they respond and sometimes they don't. Timmer was someone who didn't respond.

This is our three week anniversary. That discussion couldn't have been at a better time for me. I feel like I can finally move on and let myself heal without feeling guilty that I should have done more.
I think when your mercy for your pet outweighs your own needs, you will know it's time.
Like I said, it is NEVER an easy decision, and you are NOT alone.
The guilt is real, and I am working through mine. The "what ifs" keep running through my head. I KNOW I did what was best for my girl, all along, but still, those thoughts keep appearing.
 

Timmer

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Jan 10, 2018
Messages
877
Purraise
1,024
Location
Cleveland, OH
tessie7, I know how you feel. I think it's completely natural to do the what ifs. It's because we cared so much and loved them so much that we do it. I pray you find peace.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #17

CatLoaf

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Jan 21, 2018
Messages
33
Purraise
20
My Loaf passed away today peacefully. It took a while, but I'm at peace with letting him go. He was getting progressively sicker and I didn't want to have him suffer any more.

He was the most loving and gentle cat - he loved the heater, snuggles, paw pad to skin contact, food, and sunny spots, not necessarily in that order. A coworker once said that cats can tear your heart out, and I only now recognize what an understatement that was.

Thank you again for being such an informative and supportive community. I truly appreciate it.
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
16,583
Purraise
22,965
Location
Nebraska, USA
My prayers are with you, I cry for you because I know your pain. May he always find the perfect sunny spot at the Rainbow Bridge.......RIP sweet Loaf. You are at peace now, knowing you will be securely held in a loving heart for eternity. Sweet, sweet boy, you will be dearly missed but never forgotten. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again.
 

gareth

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 19, 2003
Messages
1,516
Purraise
3,858
Location
UK
Something that gave me comfort when my wife (a vet) said it to me.

Better a MONTH too early than a DAY too late.
 

LisaT.

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Sep 20, 2017
Messages
243
Purraise
486
Location
Syracuse, NY
I let my cat go to soon. I regret making the appointment to put him down very, very much. He wasn't ready.
 
Top