We had to put our Stanley down this morning

les26

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A few days ago Stanley, about a 9 year old grey/black Tabby that I rescued from my old place of employment about 8 years ago or so ago, wasn't acting right, lethargic, mopey, not interested in anything and that wasn't him, he was always active but over the last few months Deb said several times "Stanley doesn't seem right to me", but he always bounced back like the others when they had some off days. But we noticed he couldn't jump as well as he used to, but we thought maybe arthritis or age or whatever reason but he still jumped, but anyway when I came home from work Friday Deb said he wasn't acting right, very lethargic all day, not interested in eating and he seemed to be in some distress, so we took him to the ER Vet that Sylvester used to go to to see his opthamologist and where Sabrina had a heart attack and died and where we put Slim down in December, so we really have uneasy feelings about being there but they do a good job and are open 24/7. They examined him, did bloodwork, really couldn't find much wrong, said that he had a slight heart murmur but gave him some pain meds and ear appetitie stimulant and some sub fluids and we brought him home 1:00 in the morning. She said he should perk up in a few days. But yesterday I heard him slightly moaning, still lethargic, not eating or drinking, tried to make his way around the house but didn't get very far, so last night I picked him up and he was just dead weight, put him down, he cried, he never really cried before so I set him back down and said "he's not right, I think we should take him back". Several other cats came to check on him, including Sylvester with whom he had some knock down roll around on the floor half killing each other fights, came to stand by him and check on him; we always wondered if Stan was jealous of Sylvester when I brought him in even though I still paid mind to him, but they up until the end would stalk each other but I digress. So we took him back in last night around 8:00, thank God it was a weekend as I would never be able to stay out and up that long and go to work I'd crash the work van, the same vet checked him again and said they would have to do some x rays and some further testing, seeing how it was now again around 1:30 or so she said it would take several hours, said if we wanted to go home she could do them and call us, and she called around 5:15 to tell me that the x-rays showed a fluid filled tumor in his one lung, she suspected it was cancer, said she could tap it and maybe he'd get some relief but basically told us she thinks it is terminal and his breathing wasn't good now, they had him on oxygen, plus now some of his redone bloodwork showed issues in his kidneys so she said this must be a very aggressive cancer and said the best thing to do would be to put him down, release him from his pain, so we did that around 10:00 this morning...

But we are in shock, even though he seemed to have off days here and there like the other do too he was good, even running around like crazy one day recently and I told Deb "Stan's okay, he's running around like crazy this morning!", but these last few days it was total opposite, he was bad, and when they let us see him alone before putting him down they told us he'd only have about 10-15 minutes off the oxygen so we knew it was bad, and we could tell by how he was acting he was really hurting, but Deb held him, we said all we wanted to say to him, I at times would get short with him when he would constantly be up my butt and I couldn't shave or get ready for work or he'd be in the way at times and I'd say "am I in your way again, Stan?", I apologized for that but Deb said "he knew you were just short with him because you were in a rush", but I still apologized to him and told him "when we meet again you can ask me if he is in MY way again?" and I said "we'll have a good laugh!", we both told him we loved him and kissed him, cried our eyes out, told him we were so sorry that this happened to him, but that we will see him again one day and it will be forever, and this was the only way that we could release him from his pain, and I told him that Simon, a short hair Tuxedo that we had who passed of stomach cancer at age 12 in 2014, was a loner like Stan was, neither of them could care less if they were the only cat in the house, they never cared for any of the other ones, but that Simon will be the one to greet him and THEY will be pals. :rbheart:

We are both in shock, shock that he was so sick and that it progressed so fast, shock that he only made it to about 9 maybe a bit more, but just shocked that we won't have him and his energy here, greeting people at the door like a dog, jumping on the bathroom sink to drink water, driving us half nuts when we are in the bathroom, looking out the windows when we would open them with the screens in when it was nice out, he used to be the last one that would look out this one window and at night we'd have to take him out and tell him "we have to go to bed now Stan, we'll open it tomorrow again", shock that he won't be laying on the floor a foot away from us when we are on the computer working, and many other things that we will sorely miss...but it was his time, for whatever reason, and he is fine now, just fine, no more pain, this was the ONLY way that we could help him feel better, and we WILL see him again one day and it will be wonderful and it will be FOREVER :rbheart:

And the woman who told me at my old job the beautiful saying "their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" actually took him home and was going to keep him, but a few days later I thought about it and told her I wanted him so I got him, and we had 9 cats at the time but she had about 38 cats and dogs and more on a mini farm, so he would've been just another number up there so he probably liked it here with less cats. And I just recalled now, we got him around August of 2014, 3 months after Simon died, and he was about 1 or so when we got him so he must've been more like 10.5 which is still young. But we also remembered that when we got him he would do about 10 things that only Simon did, none of the other cats did that, so it was like Simon was letting us know that he loved it here and his spirit was here now in Stanley, it was really bizarre but true! So that being said there is NO DOUBT that yes, Simon will greet him and be his pal up there and they will get along!!!

"WE LOVE YOU STANLEY, WE ARE SO SORRY THIS HAPPENED TO YOU, BUT WE KNOW YOU ARE FINE NOW, NO MORE PAIN...."

Until we meet again one day, have fun with Simon and all of the rest up there in Heaven little buddy, WE LOVE YOU!!!! :rbheart: :tabbycat:
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss. Thankyou for sharing Stanley's story. He certainly got it good when you and Deb gave him his forever home. Stanley's story hit home with me because I felt the same when Bandit entered our life. He act's so much like our Tik did I'm sure he was told by Tik what we needed in a cat. RIP Stanley have fun with Simon at the bridge :rbheart:
 

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My heartfelt sympathies go out to Deb and you. :hugs: You were his guardian angel rescuing him 8 years ago at your job. He never forgot that or the love you provided. Simon will definitely be there to welcome and greet him. He is at the Bridge now, pain free and no longer suffering. RIP sweet angel. :angel:
 

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I'm so sorry. Stanley's passing sounds as sudden and shocking as Thomas' thirty years ago - day he was due to go to boarding while we went overseas he came in with a huge swelling on his neck, boarding cancelled, off to the vet, faxes between Melbourne and London, aggressive cancer, nothing to do but put him to sleep before he was in pain. He was only eight. It is such a horrible shock when they go so quickly with so little warning. Your Stanley sounds a lovely boy,
 
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les26

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Thank you all for the wonderful replies, they all made us cry but in a good way. We are talking about him and his funny things that he used to do, he was a character for sure! But we also talk about how we are still in shock that he got so bad so fast, I'm sure this was brewing for awhile but he never let on like cats tend to do, but for him to decline so fast in just a few days is really hard to swallow, but that is how it was. We are thankful that we could see him and say our solong or as Deb said "see you later" as we will one day, if we didn't take him back last night at 7:30 I truly believe that we would've found him dead or near dead this morning here at home, and that would've haunted us forever...so we got him in there and they made him comfortable at least at the end, but he was suffering we could tell. We couldn't save him, but we could help him, and we did...

We are both running on fumes, emotionally exhausted, up until 1:30 Saturday morning, going to sleep 2:30 this morning, being awakened at 5:15 from the vet's call with the bad news, so we need to get some sleep and deal with this, we don't want to get sick. But it is so hard, this is the 10th cat we have lost, all in different ways, and it is never easy.

Sylvester was very wigged out by the whole thing, he hears the carrier door rattling as we bring it upstairs and he hides. He was hiding this morning, and most of today, so I took the phone and made some calls while sitting in the room that he was hiding in, and he eventually came out, and just a few minutes ago he let me pet him and pick him up and hug him and scratch his neck, and I told him what happened and that Stanley was having a problem and in pain, but we helped him and he is not in pain anymore.

BUT the issue will be "revisited" Wednesday morning as we have to catch him and take him to our vet for his haircut and checkup, so he'll really be wigged out again!!! But we give him Composure treats to calm him down, and once he is there he is okay, and I think he realizes by now that he gets a haircut (which he always loves) and checkup and comes home, and we don't do this for another 6 months...but this is going to be tough this time....

THANK YOU ALL for the support and love, just no way that we expected this nor saw it coming...:rbheart:
 

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My sincere condolences on your loss. It is always difficult to lose one of our cherished furries, but sudden loss adds another layer to our sorrow. Thank you for thinking of his comfort before your own. May your fond memories soon bring more smiles than tears.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss.

I think it's important to remember that actually in animals a lot of cancers go undetected until they get very serious symptoms or stop eating or lose a lot of weight - humans can say "I keep getting a pain here" or "I'm having this particular symptom" and are more likely to get sent for scans while stuff is treatable, we don't send cats for sedation and a full set of scans (quite rightly tbh) every time they look a bit peaky, they can't tell us where something hurts or doesn't feel right, and often cancers are detected at a very late stage. It's usually no-one's fault that it doesn't get detected earlier.

Condolences to you, Stanley was loved and his time spent with you was time well spent, he had a good life with you. That is probably not a great consolation right now in your grief. Love to you all.
 

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You loved him enough to release him from a future full of pain and suffering. From something that had no cure, that robbed him of his future. That same love gave him everything he ever wanted, a home, care, and someone to love him. You were his world.
No matter how many of these little ones have to go, it never gets any easier, because each and everyone is as unique as a snowflake. They take a piece of our heart along with them too. But we give them that piece willingly and full of love and alongside the promise that we will see them again. They do the same. That piece will reside in their soul and bring them peace, being a beacon for our own little piece of their heart to find each other once again. For them to have a line to our own soul to eternally receive our thoughts and prayers and for them to send their own. Love is spiritual, so eternal.
"Do not cry because it is over, smile because it happened."
We are left on this earth to spread the love they left us, to honor them by using the legacy they left us to bring joy and love to others. In this way we perpetuate their love and bring meaning to their lives. And ours.
My heart cries for your pain. One day this pain will turn to gratitude for having him in your life. But that day can be a long way off. Keep busy and try not to dwell on the sadness. It is not what he would want for someone he loves so very much. go forward and live each day as you would want for him to go on if you were the first to go. He would want it no other way. Take care......RIP precious Stanley. You will always have a secure place in loving hearts, never to be forgotten. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 
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les26

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I also remebered this from the other night, the first night that we were at the ER Vet, people on the left of us had an all black cat in a carrier that looked like Slim, our cat that we had to put down there in December. A little while later, someone set a carrier down with a Calico cat in it that looked like Sabrina, our cat that had a heart attack and died there. And they were the only other cats there when we were there.

Coincindence? Or symbolic? I think the latter...

And I also was struggling with this but this morning felt great relief. When we first got Stanley, 3 months after Simon was put down in my arms, he was my little buddy, but Deb was quite involved with him too. But after Sebastian died in my arms 11/23/15, and Simon 5/15/2014, I saw an ad for a cat at a shelter that looked like those two boys combined, and thought how cool that would be to have a cat that looked like them to be a tribute to them and a reminder to me. I couldn't get that cat, but I did get Sylvester who you see in the picture above left who looks EXACTLY like those two cats combined. And when we brought him in he hid for awhile behind the sofa, and I still remember one time when he tried to come out Stanley chased him away, and Deb said "I think Stan is jealous of him, he was your little buddy but now this one is here", but of course I still paid mind to Stan as well as them all and I'm sure he came to terms with it, they used to fight but several times recently were on the sofa together or laying right next to each other by the wood stove, but my mind thanks to the grief was thinking "I hope Stan knew that I loved him too" and of course Deb said "of course he did, you were a great father to him, you petted and talked to him, you played with him, you gave him treats, you opened the windows for him, he knew you loved him, don't think like that", but my mind goes to weird places thanks to the grief and shock. But driving to work this morning I was talking outloud to Stan, and I said outloud "did Simon explain to you why I got Sylvester and why I felt the way that I did about him?" and it hit me, Simon and Sebastian are both with him now, and I am sure that they both explained to Stanley why I got Sylvester, to remind me of them, and I felt an immediate sense of relief.

I don't know if Stanley held this against me, probably not as like I said I surely did pay him mind, but that is where my mind went to, but again I'm sure that the two boys explained it to him and all is okay with him with it. I know, it's strange, but that's how I feel...
 

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Rest you gentle, Stanley, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Oh, my friend, you have seen my posts, and can guess what I will say, but it is, after all, the Deepest Truth that I know. And that is that love never dies, it is translated and purified into Love, and continues on. Now, from his home in That Place Where All Things Are Known (let that name sink in for a moment), Stanley KNOWS how you fought for him, how you loved him, and he sends his Love back to you, to walk beside you down through all of your days. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.

I lost my own sweet girl in February, very suddenly, and writing this has comforted me. I only hope it comforts you somewhat.
 
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les26

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Rest you gentle, Stanley, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Oh, my friend, you have seen my posts, and can guess what I will say, but it is, after all, the Deepest Truth that I know. And that is that love never dies, it is translated and purified into Love, and continues on. Now, from his home in That Place Where All Things Are Known (let that name sink in for a moment), Stanley KNOWS how you fought for him, how you loved him, and he sends his Love back to you, to walk beside you down through all of your days. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.

I lost my own sweet girl in February, very suddenly, and writing this has comforted me. I only hope it comforts you somewhat.
Thank you. I am so sorry for your loss too, it is so sudden and catstrophic, you cannot believe it has happened, and it hurts so much. I am glad that you found some comfort in writing this. :alright: :rbheart:

It was easier to deal with somewhat during the day while I was at work, but being home here this evening has been so very tough, we keep looking for him as he was always around, and the house seems so quiet. But we know that it takes time to soften the pain, today is the first full day without him, and as we move on it won't sting as much, but right now is so very tough. I took some Holy Basil a bit ago, I always would suggest that to people who lost their cats as it helps you deal with things more clearly and calmly, but it is still tough.

Deb talked to her sister today who was a nurse, and told her how he got so bad so fast, and when she described how he was so listless and making noises here late Saturday before I said "that's it, he's going back, somethings wrong", she told Deb that he was actually dying right here, his kidneys were shutting down and he was being poisoned which I suspected, so thank God that we took him in and he could pass somewhat peacefully, if we had not taken him in Saturday night he would've died here and Deb & I would be in a mental psych ward right now, we would've been scarred for life if that would've happened, so thankfully we realized it and rushed him back.

So so hard to deal with, and on top of all of the other stresses that have been in our lives these past two years, but we pray and find the strength to deal with it...along with the love and support on this site. :rbheart: :grouphug2:
 
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les26

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I had another little "mental talk" with Stan last night because I once again felt "guilty" because he would more often than not be at the bottom of the 13 steps when I would be coming downstairs from the bedroom in the morning, and I of course would say "hi Stan" to him but as I said before he used to go right into the bathroom and jump up on the sink to greet "meow LOUDLY" constantly at me, I would pet his head and him, then sometimes he would want to drink out of the sink so I would turn it on for him, when he was done he would jump down and I'd say "now your head's all wet Stan" etc. But there were times when I would be really pressed for time, and with all of the things that I have been dealing with for my parents in the nursing home and lawyers and banks and my work and stressed there were times when I would be coming down the steps and actually not be too pleased because I knew he would be in the bathroom and that I wouldn't be able to get ready, times I would have to pick him up and put him out and close the door and say things like "not right now Stan, I have to get ready" because it was impossible for me to shave or put my contact lenses in with him going back and forth on the sink right in front of me and I feel badly about that now. Or times when he would go in there and jump on the sink, but I wasn't going in there, I'd be in the spare room like now or walking back and forth past the bathroom and when he'd see me he would "yell" at me, all the time, it would get on my nerves and I would sometimes tell him "shut up, you're making me crazy", or when I would go in to him I'd pet him and say "yes I know, I see you and I hear you, hello Stan", but this morning during the night after I woke to go to the bathroom that hit me hard, and times when we would be laying in bed in the morning with the bedroom door closed and he'd be outside yelling at us, trying to get us to come out, it would go from "It's okay Stan" to "go downstairs and do something, go see what Sylvester is doing" but he would keep it up and I'd say "shut up Stan!" and I regret that, and sometimes he would do this at night when we would just be going to bed, not too often, it was more in the morning, but I think back and feel guilty for this, especially getting somewhat annoyed coming down the steps seeing him and knowing that he was going to go into the bathroom and we would "play the game" and he'd make me crazy, I feel badly about that, but boy how I would LOVE to see and hear that again right now...

I told Deb this when I saw her this morning and I started to cry, and once again she said "oh honey, those are normal things, we all do things like that at times to them if they get in our way or do things, that is normal, I'm sure he didn't think much about it, you were very stressed about your parents, he understood, it's the grief, he knows you loved him and were good to him", and I DO know that, but I still struggle with it, and I talk to him mentally and apologize. She said "you're focusing on the bad things, look at all the good things that you did with him, and YOU were the one who brought him here in the first place!!" when I decided that I wanted him years ago.

I KNOW it is the grief, I KNOW these things I said and did he most likely shrugged off and thought "that's okay, I'll do it another time to him", I KNOW he knows that I loved him, but this is the mnetal wrestling that I am doing right now, and I KNOW it is my mind's way of working it out, trying to process it and make sense of it all, and trying to work through the grief, but it is tough, this is a tough, unexpected loss, he was the life of this house and now it is quiet, even the other cats feel it too we can tell. Even his "sparring partner" Sylvester with whom he never really saw eye to eye with, who he rolled around fighting with a few times (which was horrible, thank God that stopped after a few times awhile back), who he stalked and we'd have to sternly say "Stanley!" and he'd walk away, he is really feeling the loss too we can tell. But with time, and working these mental things out and suffering until we come to grips with it, life will calm down, it will never be the same but it will calm down, and we will make peace with it, just like the 9 who have passed before him. But it is the sudden, unexpected loss of a relatively young cat, a cat that was so full of energy and life, that makes it even more difficult to deal with, but we will do it, for ourselves, for the other 5 cats, and for Stanley.

And I just realized that I do the same thing to Simba, our thin 23-24 year old, who hangs out in the kitchen, when I go in there he is constantly pushing me (and Deb) for something to eat, but it isn't as easy and quick as just giving him treats or regular food, he wants chicken or hamburger or pork or cheese which takes time to get out and get ready, so at times I see I am short with him too, but again Deb says "that's normal" because it is constant. But I am never mean to him, most times DO give in and give him something, but I will learn from this and back off and be kind, which I already am, but again at times I have to keep moving and can't feed him but I'm sure he understands and like Stan thinks "that's okay, I'll do it again sometime to him".


Holy Basil time, and Ignatia Amara.

THANK YOU ALL for the support and help, I am so glad that I found this site years ago. :rbheart:
 
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les26

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And we also think of other impending deaths that are coming, Simba who is 23-24 maybe older is so thin and keeps eating and drinking and going to the litter box most likely because of his thyroid or God forbid he has cancer too, Deb said last night "I don't think it wil be long for him, God wouldn't do that to us would he? So close together?" but I cannot answer that question, I hope not...

And our parents, her mom at 87, my dad at 85 and mom at 84, both in a nursing home, how are we going to deal with their loss when it comes? But at all of their ages, including Simba, it is more expected than suddenly losing Stan at only about 10.5.

I know these things happen, but we seem to have just been getting hit so often lately with nothing but bad things...
 

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I’m sorry, honey. Life WILL get good again, just hang in there. You have to go through the valleys to get to the hills. I don’t know if it’ll help at all, but listen to Hills and Valleys by Torrence Wells. Your kitty remembers the love, I promise. You did good… let his creator take over now. He’s safe, and he’s guarding you. Gods not doing anything… your cats are fighting the same battle we are. At some point, they get tired. It was time for Stan to rest. When it’s time for Simba to get his peace, he’ll let you know. I don’t know HOW you’ll deal with these things, just know we won’t let you deal with them alone.
 
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les26

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Today we caught Sylvester and I took him to the vet for his haircut and checkup, it's usually a tussle and quite stressful but this morning it went like a breeze; I said outloud a few times "talk to him Stanley, tell him not to be scared, that he'll be alright and come home again", and he must have done that because this was a breeze, so thanks Stan!!

Stanley used to love to come down and lay in front of the woodstove or jump on my lap or Deb's or lay on a chair or sofa down there. Tonight was the first time that I lit it since he passed, and we had a little ceremony and dedictaed it to him. I started to talk outloud and I started to sob but I pressed on, then Deb did too. We said what we wanted to say, told him he is always welcome to come and enjoy it, and the spot where he laid "will always be his spot", and it was comforting.

We are okay at times, but then the emotions really rock us and we are bad again, but we know it will be back and forth for quite awhile like with others that we have lost. But we are so heartbroken that he was taken away from us with how we think was too early, we thought we'd have him for another 6, 7, 8 years, maybe more, but for some reason he was meant to leave now. But we know it was the ONLY way that he could escape his cancer and his pain, so we are grateful for that. And we are glad he didn't pass here at home, we would be 50 times worse if he did.

I just wish that I could get a glimpse of how wonderful it is where he is, to see him healthy and happy and enjoying himself in that beautiful place with all of our others, but I know that isn't possible, so I'll just have to have faith in it until we meet again. :rbheart:
 

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And we also think of other impending deaths that are coming, Simba who is 23-24 maybe older is so thin and keeps eating and drinking and going to the litter box most likely because of his thyroid or God forbid he has cancer too, Deb said last night "I don't think it wil be long for him, God wouldn't do that to us would he? So close together?" but I cannot answer that question, I hope not...

And our parents, her mom at 87, my dad at 85 and mom at 84, both in a nursing home, how are we going to deal with their loss when it comes? But at all of their ages, including Simba, it is more expected than suddenly losing Stan at only about 10.5.

I know these things happen, but we seem to have just been getting hit so often lately with nothing but bad things...
I lost my Boudicca last January. It was pretty sudden. I knew she was old and losing weight but after she died, thinking back, I don't remember her eating after Christmas. It was devastating. Then I had to go away for month in February. When I came back in March I noticed my Oliver didn't look well. I took him in and he had liver cancer. At almost 10. I had to put him down after less than a week. It's completely devastating. I thought of all the times I yelled at Boudicca for her growling at the other cats and Oliver for stealing my food. But, you know what? It's part of the game. They think it's a game. Your baby was never mad at you. He just lost a round. They love us unconditionally as we do them.
 
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les26

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I lost my Boudicca last January. It was pretty sudden. I knew she was old and losing weight but after she died, thinking back, I don't remember her eating after Christmas. It was devastating. Then I had to go away for month in February. When I came back in March I noticed my Oliver didn't look well. I took him in and he had liver cancer. At almost 10. I had to put him down after less than a week. It's completely devastating. I thought of all the times I yelled at Boudicca for her growling at the other cats and Oliver for stealing my food. But, you know what? It's part of the game. They think it's a game. Your baby was never mad at you. He just lost a round. They love us unconditionally as we do them.
I am so sorry for your losses, it really hits hard...

My mom said the same thing to me about me regretting being gruff with Stan at times when he was pushing me, she said "he probably just thought "ha ha, I got him again!" whenever he made me nuts lol!!
 
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