Was this the right decision?

[HaruWa]

Good Meowning my fellow cat owners,

I've been in a kind of tricky situation with my newly adopted, four year old cat.
I am 23 and I just moved out of my parents house to go to university, just two months after I adopted a cat, which now have been two weeks.
I'm living in a shared flat, with two other people, one of them also having a cat. I couldn't let my cat meet his yet, as his cat got worms and he hid that fact from me. (I would have thought twice of adopting in that moment when would have known that). But that's not the point right now.
I'm kind of feeling guilty about the fact that i just left home, left my home cat and adopted a new one for my own pleasure of not being alone.
She's a house cat, she's very sweet, very cuddly and loves playing with laser pointers.
The downsides would be that she's very picky, she only eats wet food,I tried making her used to dry food by putting just a few bits into her food and she literaly picks out every single piece with her paw and throws it across the room. And she's very hairy, which i dont know if it happend because of her diet but she also hates being brushed to bits. Which is resulting in biting,scratching and hiding from me, like I tried to kill her.

As these "problems" wouldn't be hard to solve by own (I would love tips and tricks on these topics above), I've always been ever since i got her in denial, if it was really the right decision to take her in (every single person around me says it was right), I saw her and decided in a whimp that I'd take her, not considering every other fact around my life.
I'm living 4 hours apart from my partner, who when i visit, visit for a week or two, or at least several nights.I don't know how a cat would be okay with travelling so long? As she only eats wet food I can't leave her for the night and stay over a friends place, as she needs the care. My two roommates are basically never home, so I can't ask them for any help. And I can't take her home with me when I go there for New Years.I don't have friends who can forster her for the time being, as they're also busy.
I just feel like it doesn't give me the freedom I need for now that i moved out of my toxic parents home, yet i don't want to give her up. I feel like a bad person and a bad cat owner.

I really do need some help and opinions on all of this. I've been having several breakdowns because of this in the last two weeks..

 

[lollie]

..she literaly picks out every single piece with her paw and throws it across the room..

I would love to see this! Is there a reason, aside from convenience, you don’t want to feed her wet? It’s actually MUCH better for her. If it’s just a question of timing, there are automatic feeders. If you are just going to be gone 24 hours, this would work fine.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. I do tend to think you rushed into this without thinking it all through and planning ahead. But, if you want to keep her, then you will have to make adjustments so that you can properly care for her, which very well mean you might not have the total freedom that you were hoping for.

She can't be left alone when you want to go away to your parents, so that is the first thing to try to resolve how you can handle this. First off, if you get her used to being in a carrier and inside a car, it is feasible that there wouldn't be that much of an issue taking her with you to your parents. Some cats do well by virtue of their personalities, others may not. How did she do when you moved from your parents to your current place? Always have a portable litter box with you, a crate for her comfort, food/water, and a leash to attach to her as protection against her jumping out of the car when you open a door and open her crate.

Whatever reason that you can't take her home at New Year's means that sometime in the near future you need to start planning on how to get someone to care for her while you are gone. And it may cost money to do so, either by hiring a caretaker or looking into cat kennels. If she tolerates trips to/from your parents, you might want to see how you can also manage to take her with you at New Year's.

As far as wet food, it is by far better for her to be eating that as opposed an all-dry cat food diet. There are automatic feeders with motion activated lids that will open when she approaches it - some that even have compartments underneath for ice packets to help keep the food moister and preserve it longer while sitting out. This type of set up is merely to help out while you are temporarily away from your home - and, certainly not to be used to leave her alone for more than an occasional overnight stay elsewhere. Always make sure she has clean water too.

There are grooming gloves that you can buy that mimic petting a cat but that work like a brush to remove excess hair. Some cats learn to handle brushings in this manner - and she may eventually let you use a 'real' brush. If this is the only time you are getting scratched/bit and the only times she tries to hide from you, then this should resolve that issue. Just take it slow at first and don't try to do a whole body brushing with the glove right away - until you see that she would be receptive.

I know you've been around cats before, but these TCS articles still might be of benefit to you.
How Much Time Does It Take To Care For A Cat? – TheCatSite Articles
How Long Can You Safely Keep Cat Food Out For? – TheCatSite Articles
Traveling With Cats [Inc. 36 actionable tips] – TheCatSite Articles
First-time Cat Owner’s Guide – TheCatSite Articles
Why Do Cats…? A Guide To Understanding Feline Behavior – TheCatSite Articles

 

[Nebaug]

I will go against others and say that you adopted her without sound plan. It’s not horrible this is how we learn. You moved out of toxic situation and you need time to settle your self first. And it seams that you want to enjoy life (nothing wrong) that only freedom from ( day to day ) obligations can provide. The kitty also deserves home with full attention and care. If I was you I would return the kitty and give her chance of a such home. No you are not bad person, we all did and do make rush decisions that we regret I just think that you need to enjoy your new life. love on your roommates cat in the meantime. Sometime, down the road there will be right time, right kitty ,right home,right everything …